


A New World

by brittishmenorbust



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Asgard, Dark Loki, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Loki Feels, Mild Language, Mild Smut, Minor Character Death, Minor Injuries, Minor Violence, POV Second Person, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-06
Updated: 2015-10-25
Packaged: 2018-03-16 13:08:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 55
Words: 97,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3489383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brittishmenorbust/pseuds/brittishmenorbust
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You are a plain midgardian girl, content with her life on earth. You weren't expecting to be abducted and taken to Asgard to serve the young Prince Loki. How will you deal with this cruel new tyrant? Is there a softer side somewhere underneath?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Not sure when I'll post the next chapter but hopefully you like the beginning :)

You frowned, looking down at the crumbs on your chest. The only bad thing about a Netflix marathon in bed was that you always got crumbs on your shirt from eating cookies lying down. A small price to pay, you thought, hitting pause. You were out of tea anyway. You got up sluggishly and made your way over to the trash can. You wiped off your shirt over the bin and placed your mug on the counter. It was only 9pm. You had a good amount of the night left to finish the season. Knowing you had to go to work tomorrow was a downer though. You'd have to wear more than a t shirt and panties there - another plus of marathoning alone. You worked at a coffee shop and hated it. But, at least it helped you pay the Netflix bill.

You smiled as you felt your cat, Ginny rub against your leg. You leaned down to pet her and she purred.

"Want to join me for the next episode?" you asked her.

You shook your head in a disapproving movement. What had your life come to? Shouldn't you be inviting a man to join you in bed instead of your cat to watch TV? You'd never had much luck with guys though. None seemed to be into the same things you were - at least, not as passionately. You loved books. You loved films. You loved a lot of things actually. And no one seemed to really understand that passion. Except Ginny, you smiled, petting her some more. She was there for you and wouldn't roll her eyes if you wanted to talk about character development for hours.

You put your kettle on and waited, munching on some more cookies while you picked out your tea.

Sometimes you daydreamed of running away from it all - going to Europe. Some days you hoped that some exciting guy would come into the coffee shop and take you away to a magical world. But you knew that would never happen, and it was naive to waste your time thinking about it.

You made your tea and went back to your bed. You snuggled up with your blanket, Ginny curled up at the end, already asleep. You took a sip and burnt your tongue, so you placed the tea on the side table.

You were about to press play when you felt your bed start to shake. You moved your laptop off of you and sat up, concern. Was this an earthquake?

Suddenly, bright white light filled the room. Ginny hissed and ran into the other room. You gripped your sheets tightly, not sure what was happening. Were you dying? Was this the white light that everyone talked about? No... it looked colorful now.

You suddenly felt yourself being lifted by some invisible force, almost like a giant vacuum. Your hair whipped around you and you tried frantically to grasp on to something, anything, but the tube of light offered nothing. You flew for what felt like two slow minutes and then you landed suddenly and hard, collapsing onto your knees.

The ground below you was cold. It wasn't quite tile... marble? You looked up, trying to figure out what had happened. Had someone drugged your tea? This seemed real enough though. Raising your eyes, you noted you were not alone. Now quite aware of your half naked state, you rose to your feet, taking in the sight before you.

You stood in a row of girls. Leaning forward a little, you looked down both ends of the line. There were about 50 of them, you'd guessed. Most of them were young, about your age, or a little older. They were all staring around themselves as well. Some were well dressed, like they were going to work, others were in sweats, some were in jeans. You apparently, were the only one without pants. Figures, you almost smirked.

Whatever room you were in was not very large. The 50 girls took up most of the width of the room, and the length extended about forty feet in front and behind you. The ceilings were very high and formed a peak at the top. The walls looked to be made of stone and in front of you was a small, raised, platform.

The girl next to you was shaking, presumably with fear. You took stock and realized you probably should be too. What was happening here? Definitely not a dream, you decided. Alien abduction? Right now it seemed the most viable option but you couldn't really think it without laughing.

"Where are we?" you heard the girl next to you ask in a shaky whisper.

You opened your lips to convey your shared confusion, but a booming voice stopped you.

"Silence!" you heard it yell. It was a deep, commanding voice and you snapped your arms around yourself protectively out of instinct.

You turned your head and followed the gaze of the others towards the place where the man had spoken. Your eyes widened when you saw a tall, sharp featured man with a golden horn helmet step onto the platform. His eyes were bright green, you could tell from even this distance. They seemed to almost glow. To be honest, this wasn't what you were expecting aliens to look like. He looked... human. Assuming that helmet didn't actually hide something on his head.

You watched as his cool gaze swept over the line of women. His tongue darted out to wet his thin lips and a cold smile appeared on his face.

"I am Loki, Prince of Asgard," he announced, as if that cleared things up. "You simple midgardians will not have heard of me unless you are well-studied, but nonetheless, I have brought you here for one purpose."

His eyes scanned the line a few more times and you shuddered under his scrutiny.

"One of you will have the privilege of becoming my personal servant."

Your jaw almost dropped. His personal what now? You had half a mind to run up there and slap some sense into him, but you stood in place for now, noting his powerful-looking scepter.

"One," he repeated. "But how shall I choose?"

He suddenly lept down from his platform and strolled to the end of the line of women. He made his way slowly down, approaching you faster than you would have liked. You could feel your heart slam against your ribs and your breath quicken. You decided to be brave. You would look him in the eyes. He would not be a terrorist to you. You saw the other women look at the floor, some were crying, some where pleading. He paid them no mind and kept walking.

You found you were holding your breath as he passed the woman two down from you. When he finally came to stop in front of you, you kept to your promise.

You had to look up, as he was about a head taller than you, but you held his gaze, trying to seem confident and unafraid. His green eyes were more intense than anything you'd ever felt. It was as if you were plastic wrap and he was burning a hole right through you.

He stopped.

Why did he stop? Thus far he had kept a steady pace, but now he was in front of you, fully stopped.

"My my," he said lowly. You could swear you almost felt the reverberation from his voice. He stood only a half a foot in front of you. You wanted so badly to run but you held your ground. "You are not afraid?" he asked, smirking.

You didn't trust your voice so you simply shook your head no, never breaking eye contact.

"Well, I don't believe you," he whispered. "But I do admire the effort."

He stepped back from you and addressed the rest of the crowd.

"I have chosen," he said simply before waving his scepter. Suddenly, all of the girls collapsed to the floor at once. The slams of their bodies echoed through the chambers. You glanced down and knew... they were dead.

You wanted to scream. You wanted to lunge at Loki and rip him to shreds. He just killed.... he just murdered all those women... and you... you should have died with them.

"Consider yourself lucky," Loki said coldly in response to your pale and slackened face. "You are now the royal Prince's personal servant."


	2. Chapter 2

The last time you'd felt this at a loss for words was the last Game of Thrones season finale. This still felt unreal and you were sure you'd wake up in your bed at any moment with Ginny beside you and your laptop burning on your lap. You shook your head and tried to wake up but to no avail. The Prince was walking away from you now, leaving you standing in the middle of the room, surrounded by the women he had just killed. You felt your throat catch and were afraid you might start crying. You clenched your fists and closed your eyes, blocking everything out.

Loki stopped mid stride and snapped his fingers. You opened your eyes  and saw the women were gone. He snapped again and somehow your shabby t-shirt had been replaced with a simple green dress. The sleeves ran three quarters of the length down your arms and the hem stopped just above your knees. You looked down and realized your feet were encapsulated in black flats that fit snug to your heels and toes.

How had this happened? Your mind searched for explanations but came up with none. You looked up with a slack jaw and saw Loki's dark smirk.

"You've obviously never seen magic before then," he mused patronizingly.

You still couldn't respond. Magic? Was he kidding? The rules of the world were so strange wherever you were at the moment.

"You mortals are so amusing," he said, turning his back to you.

_Mortals?_

You opened your mouth to ask one of the thousands of questions running through your mind but stopped. Loki had opened the doors and left. Where were you expected to go? You walked towards the doors with caution as a young woman made her way into the room.

She was a little over thirty years old, you would have guessed. She had brown hair and blue eyes. She looked at you with mild interest before speaking.

"I'm Alma," she said. "You're the midgardian then?"

"The what?" you asked, getting tired of all this strange language.

"From earth," she said tiredly.

"Oh... yes?" you answered. "Where are we... if not earth?"

"You're in Asgard," she responded. "Come on, I'm meant to show you your duties."

She didn't wait for you to respond but you followed as she exited the doors into a large stone hallway. The ceilings extended even higher than the room before you, and you mused that an entire weather system could probably fit up there.

"I'm sure you have a lot of questions... What's your name?"

You told her and she gave you a funny look. Apparently that was not a common name around here. She lead you through a maze of hallways and from the look and smell of it, you were underground somewhere.

"Down here are the palace servant quarters. Since you're the personal servant to the Prince, you'll be staying in an adjoining room which I will show you later."

You did not like the sound of that.

Alma led you through many hallways that all seemed identical. Each was lit by torches on the walls. No electricity then?

You tried to focus on what she was saying but the palace was very distracting.

"Your main duties will be to bring the Prince his meals, clean his quarters and tend to his laundry. Otherwise you will do whatever else he asks of you. Without complaint," she added.

You shuddered, imagining the awful things that man might demand of you.

Suddenly Alma took a left into a stairwell. The stairs were wooden but looked sturdy. They spiraled upwards and you followed her lead. You exited through a wooden door and closed it behind you. Your breath was nearly taken away. You had entered into the largest kitchen you had ever seen. There were different fruits, vegetables, and meats strewn about everywhere. Many men and women hustled in white uniforms, throwing things into one of tens of pots and pans. Some were shouting orders while others ducked and swayed to avoid plates loaded with food being brought outside. Your eyes didn't know where to land.

"This is where you will fetch his meals. Breakfast is the slowest time. The Prince eats around dawn, so make sure you have his meal before then. After that he will request food when he is hungry."

You nodded, half remembering the information. She led you further into the kitchen and finally out into another hallway. This hallway had windows for light and you marveled at the many tapestries hanging on the walls. Men and women dressed in gowns and medieval looking suits passed you without a glance. Alma led you through the halls quickly and you almost stopped when you saw the doors to what looked like an immense library. You promised yourself to look into it later.

"So... what if I don't want to be Loki's servant?" you asked as the thought entered your head.

Alma turned with a gasp and pulled you aside into a corner.

"Do _not_ address the prince by name. Ever," she warned, pulling you close. "And as for wanting, that has nothing to do with it."

She looked around and made sure no one was eavesdropping.

"Listen, I am sorry for your situation, but these are the facts: the prince has been through all of the servants in Asgard. His father, King Odin, will not allow him to have any more because he keeps... well... anyway, he said that the prince had to find his servants elsewhere or manage on his own from now on. Apparently the prince deemed Midgard an appropriate place to find servants. You don't have a choice here. It's serve or die."

You tried to process those words. Up until now you thought that maybe you would just escape. Maybe you didn't have to do this. But her words tore a hole into you. The gravity of the situation hit you like a ton of bricks. Whatever this world was, it was dangerous. Loki seemed to be the center of that danger. You decided the best thing to do for now was to follow instructions and keep your head down. Perhaps one day you could find a way home.

After a moment, Alma gave you a friendly pat on the shoulder and turned to continue the tour.

"This is the grand hall, sort of the center of the palace," she said.

Grand was an understatement. The floor was made from what looked like smooth jewels and bricks of gold. They interlaced into a pattern of a sun rising over an ocean. There were three long golden tables extending the length of the room. You could easily sit a thousand people in this one area. The archways the lead off the hall were carved stone. They depicted what were probably past kings.

Just then you saw him. Loki was walking with a blonde man and a silver-haired man across the hall. Loki spotted you but paid you no mind. His companions chatted while he followed slightly behind them looking mildly annoyed as usual.

Alma grabbed your hand and led you to the archway on the left. This hallway was wider than the others and had many doors along its walls. She led you around and to the left and finally stopped at a large wooden door. The carvings on it could have held your attention for hours. They were intricate detailed carvings of constellations that seemed to almost glow as if stars themselves were trapped inside. It was truly beautiful.

Alma didn't seem intrigued by this at all and opened the door quickly, leading you inside.

The room was fairly large, but after the Grand Hall, nothing seemed large. It had a bed on the right with a dark red canopy hanging over it. There was a fireplace across from the door and a chair beside it. Books lay scattered around the room. A large bay window was to the left with a ledge for sitting next to it. The floor was stone but mostly covered by large rugs. Some paintings hung on the walls, mostly of things you did not recognize.

"This is the Prince's chambers," Alma informed you. "Follow me over here," she led you to a tapestry and pulled it aside to reveal a door. She opened the small door and led you down a tiny hallway to another. She entered this room and you followed her inside.

This room was about a tenth of the size of Loki's room. It had a small bed, a dresser, a chair, and a night stand. Another door showed you there was a small tub and sink, presumably a toilet as well. The floor was covered with an old rug.

"These are your quarters. This," she pointed to a bell that hung next to the door. "Is your summoning bell. When he rings it, you must come to him. No matter what."

You frowned, hating the idea of being treated like a dog. It was better than death, you thought, or whatever else it was that Loki had been doing to his servants.

Alma watched you as she went to go sit on the bed.

You joined her shortly thereafter, suddenly feeling the weight of everything that had happened. You felt like a thousand pounds was resting on  your head. You leaned into her without thinking and started to cry. She didn't seem to mind, in fact, she wrapped an arm around you and let you cry. You were a little ashamed. You had been holding it together until this point. But now the reality hit you. This was really happening. You had been abducted and were being forced to serve an abusive, cruel man.

"Shh, it's okay," Alma muttered. "It's not so bad. The palace is a lovely place to live. And you will get used to Loki. He will not risk losing another servant."

You weren't totally convinced by any of that, but somehow it helped. You nuzzled closer to her as if you were a child. In reality she was only about ten years older than you. She did her best to comfort you until you managed to stop crying.

"I'm scared," you confessed.

She sighed, not quite knowing what to say.

"The Prince is difficult to please. Sometimes I think he abuses people because he enjoys it. He is not a good man. But, if you try to appeal to his ego, things might go better for you. And if you need me, I will be in the servant's quarters that I showed you earlier."

You nodded, but you doubted you could find your way back down there after only one trip.

Suddenly you heard a ringing sound. You looked and saw the summoning bell ringing.

"Time to start," she whispered. You shuddered, wanting nothing more than to curl up in this bed and never leave it.

She nudged you out of the bed and onto your feet.

"You will be fine," she said softly.

You exited the room and lifted back the tapestry so you could exit into Loki's chambers. The Prince was standing next to his bed, eying you carefully. Alma bowed slightly and left the room, leaving only you and the Prince.

"Servant," he said, ready to start using you.

"It's (y/n) actually," you said, with a bit more bite than you meant. "Sir," you added, hoping to lessen the blow. You bowed your head and sunk your eyes to the floor.

He swiftly walked over to you and grabbed your chin between his thumb and forefinger. It hurt but you did not cry out. Once again you stared into the eyes of the madman and winced.

"You will not address me in such a way," he seethed. His face was incredibly close to yours. "I am your Prince now. You will respect me."

"My apologies, my lord," you said weakly. You could feel yourself trembling before him.

He released you and took a step back, scanning your body up and down.

"You are still learning, I suppose," he said ruefully. "But I will not allow much room for error. No doubt Alma has told you what has happened to the rest of my servants?" he asked. You nodded. The vague reference had been enough for you. He smiled coldly. His eyes scanned your body again and he paused, looking at your breasts for a moment longer. "Midgard was my only option... I did choose a nice one though. You are quite a piece."

You were about to say something about being a mere object to him, but held your tongue. Now was not the time. He licked his lips and looked you over once more before turning to face the window.

You watched his long, lean body for a moment before rubbing your sore chin.

"I must go for now to attend to some business. Make sure the room is in order when I return," he spoke suddenly.

He turned without looking at you and left the room. You stood by yourself in his chambers, looking at your surroundings. It was going to be a large room to tidy, but at least it might take your mind off of this tragedy that had become your life. What would become of you in this strange new world? Would you survive Loki? You tried not to think as you tidied up the room, trying to pretend it was all a dream and you would wake up back home, safe.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just warning, there is some mild violence in this chapter

Loki's room was larger than it looked once you had to scrub every nook and cranny. Luckily Loki did not return after your encounter with him, nor did he summon you, so you decided to collapse in your room and try to get as much sleep as you could. Even though it was apparently autumn in this world, it seemed unseasonably hot in your tiny room. You gladly took a shower and put on only a bra and panties to sleep in. You fell asleep on top of the covers as soon as you hit the bed.

When you woke, there were a few precious moments when you thought you might have dreamed the whole thing. You groaned and refused to open your eyes, choosing instead to stretch on the uncomfortable bed.

You stiffened when you heard someone's throat clear. Your eyes shot open and you glanced to your right. There he was, sitting calmly in the chair, feet resting on your bureau, leaning back like it was the most natural stance in the world. Loki was wearing more casual clothing since you'd last seen him. He wore tight leather pants that left little to the imagination and a green tunic. Everything looked very expensive, and very nice on him, despite your hatred of him.

You hadn't moved in about ten seconds while he stared expectantly at you. You moved to cover yourself with your sheets but stopped when he gave a slight, almost imperceptible shake of his head. He looked away lazily for a moment and sighed, as if this were an inconvenience. You didn't dare say anything lest it set him off.

"Do you know what I awoke to this morning?" he asked casually. His eyes drifted over to you and rested on your anxious face.

"No, sir," you responded, shaking.

"Nothing," he said shrugging.

You were confused... he hadn't rung for you.

"I know that Alma did not forget this because I specifically reminded her. Did she or did she not inform you of your morning duties?" he asked with a little more bite to his voice.

Oh shit. Breakfast before dawn. Clearly it was after dawn then. You smacked your palm to your forehead and sighed.

"Sorry," you offered. "Sir," you added quickly.

Loki's eyes turned darker and he leveled the chair back down to all four legs. When he stood, you almost gasped. You knew he was tall, but from laying on the bed below him he towered over you, leaving you breathless.

"Sorry?"  he asked through his teeth.

"Well, yeah, I mean it's my first day and I didn't exactly _ask_ to be kidnapped and taken away from my home. And by the way," you added, logic suddenly taking a back seat. "You can probably get your own breakfast. The kitchen is a two minute walk and--"

Before you could scurry or hide beneath the covers, Loki's hand was clutched around your throat. You thought back to all those movies where the good guys are lifted up by their necks and thought no one could really lift someone with one hand. You were wrong. Or you hadn't counted on the deceptive strength that Loki possessed. Before you knew it you were dangling by Loki's hand. Your throat hurt and you had to gasp for air. Loki watched you writhe with an amused smile. You clutched and clawed at his hand, trying to loosen it. He was holding you tight enough to lift you, but loose enough not to make you pass out. That didn't make it less painful though.

"Puny human," he laughed. "You were made to serve me. How dare you talk back to me? Loki, Prince of Asgard?"

Although his words were tough, you almost thought you detected a hint of... approval?

"You are _nothing_. You are _worthless_. And you are _alone_ ," he said.

You had taken enough psychology classes to know when someone was projecting their own issues, but you held your tongue - mostly because you couldn't speak at the moment.

"Do you know what I could do to you?" he asked, taking his other hand and ghosting it along your near-naked form. Your skin erupted in goosebumps and your eyes widened in fear. "I could do so much to you. Pain... Pleasure," he arched an eyebrow. "I hold all the power over you."

Suddenly he opened his hand and you dropped onto the bed, coughing and grasping your sore throat.

"But you are not worth the time," he said, turning away from you.

You watched his body language. He was stiff, but confident. He didn't seem... comfortable though. It was as if he were operating some kind of Loki suit that didn't quite fit him.

You stared daggers at his back until he turned around. You pulled your knees to your chest and hugged them.

"You will not forget my breakfast, or _anything_ again," he warned. "You do not wish to know the punishment that awaits you should you fail."

You shuddered, thinking of the women's dead bodies that had haunted your dreams that night.

"That's right," he smiled coldly as if reading your thoughts. "Now, I have a list of chores for you on the bed. I am leaving for the day but expect them done when I return."

He saw you nod and left, slamming the door behind him.

You ran your fingers through your hair, trying to understand how this had become your life. You stopped yourself from crying because if you started, there was no guarantee you could stop. You just wanted to go home.

You stood and got another dress from the dresser. Whoever had arranged this room apparently knew your exact size. You pulled a dress identical to the one you'd worn yesterday but in a maroon color over your head and did the best you could to make your hair look presentable.

When you exited your room you found the list quickly. Most of the chores involved cleaning of some sort. Others involved picking up various items, the names of which were not familiar to you. The final items on the list were titles of books. You smiled, excited to be able to check out the library.

You saved the best for last, rushing through the cleaning and errand running as best you could to get to the books. You got to know the palace by picking up the various items on the list. Finally, you found yourself at the library doors. They opened easily enough and you entered the most amazing library you'd ever experienced.

The ceilings, as apparently was the fashion in this place, extended high above you with large wooden beams crisscrossing the ceiling. There were small fireplaces on all of the surrounding walls accompanied by large plush chairs. The place smelled of firewood and old books and it felt like heaven. You stood in the center taking it all in. There were only a few patrons in the library as far as you could tell. The shelves reached far up towards the ceilings and as far back as you could see from where you were. You couldn't imagine the knowledge that was stored in these books. What was possible in this world of magic? What did they consider fiction?

Lost in thought, you almost fell over when someone bumped into you from behind.

"I am so sorry," you turned, apologizing.

"That's quite alright dear," came a pleasant sounding reply.

When you straightened up, you leaned down to lend a hand to the man who had run into you. He was small, barely matching you in height. His face was angular and he pushed his horn-rimmed glasses back into place. He blinked twice before looking confused and then scared at you.

"You're _her_ ," he said, pulling his hand away from yours.

"I'm who?" you asked, looking around you. Your little fall had not attracted any attention apparently.

"Your the midgardian girl," he whispered. You almost laughed. "The Prince's new servant."

You were really starting to hate that term.

"I'm (y/n), actually," you offered. "Kidnapped midgardian." You refused to refer to yourself as a servant.

The man looked at you with scrutiny and then smiled slightly.

"You shouldn't use that kind of language, my dear," he said, straightening his bow tie. "I'm Casius by the way," he added, extending his hand. You shook it gratefully.

"Nice to meet you."

"I'm the caretaker of this library," he said. "I assume the Prince has sent you with another list?" Apparently Loki was an avid reader. Who knew.

"Yes," you answered, handing him the list of foreign titles. "Can you help me?"

Casius nodded and gestured for you to follow him. He climbed ladders and shuffled shelves to find the five books that Loki wanted.

"Thank you," you sighed as you held the books. The weight felt familiar and nice. Casius smiled and the sight was so nice after the morning you'd had that you started crying. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," you muttered, turning away. Damnit, you thought you had yourself under control.

"Oh dear," Casius whispered. You felt a gentle hand on the small of your back, pushing you towards a seat by an empty fireplace. "Sit down," he ordered softly. "I've heard stories," he said, pulling up a chair next to yours. He held your hand and you tried to stop crying. "I know the Prince has been through many... of you," he avoided using the word servant for you. "I only know of one before you who escaped it. The others..." his eyes drifted to the fire. No one seemed to want to finish that sentence, you noted.

"Someone escaped him?" you asked, curious.

"Yes," he conceded. "A girl by the name of Raya. I don't remember how, but she is the only one I know that knows exactly what you're going through. That might be a small comfort?"

You nodded. Anyone who could relate to you would make you feel so much better and less, like Loki had noted earlier, alone.

"She works in the kitchen now, I believe. You could go and find her. The Prince will not return until tonight."

You nodded, the idea filling you with some strength.

You thanked Casius and left with your books. You dropped them off in Loki's room and headed straight for the kitchen. It was in between lunch and dinner so the kitchen was fairly quiet. You found a tall man and asked him if he knew anyone by the name of Raya. He nodded and pointed to a tiny girl on the far side of the kitchen.

You approached her slowly, scared.

"Raya?" you asked.

The girl turned slowly to face you. She had bright brown eyes and small features. She was overall very delicate looking and you shuddered to think how easily Loki could have broken her.

"Yes?" she asked. She couldn't have been more than twelve years old.

"Do you have a moment?" you asked.

She nodded, stepping away from the vegetables she had been washing and wiped her hands on her dress.

"I am Prince Loki's new..." you gulped, not wanting to finish the sentence. She simply nodded, understanding. "I was wondering... how... how did you escape?" you whispered, not knowing how taboo this conversation was.

She looked around the deserted kitchen and pulled you down to her level.

"It was hell," she said, staring right at you. You didn't expect those words to come from her mouth. "He is a _monster_ ," she added. "I... I thought he would kill me. I went to the Queen one day and I begged. I _begged_ her. And I don't know why, but she granted me mercy. She told me I could work here and she would deal with Loki. And then... you showed up."

You gulped. The Queen? That plan seemed far fetched for you. Perhaps the Queen took mercy on this small child but she wouldn't have any for an earth girl.

"I am so sorry," Raya whispered. "So sorry."

You stood back up and took a deep breath.

"I... It's okay. I will figure something out," you lied.

"The Queen," she said. "I do not know if she would help you. But she is not as cold as the Prince at least. It may be worth a try."

You nodded, not knowing how to even get an audience with her, let alone ask her to help you.

"The Prince is not a true prince, you know," Raya said. "He is adopted. Do not talk to him about the King and Queen," she warned.

You nodded, trying to process this. Why was he allowed to act like a spoiled brat then? Ah, you thought. He did it for attention. He wasn't as mysterious and evil as he thought. Just spoiled and starved of attention. That didn't make him less intimidating though, you thought as you rubbed your throat.

"I do not know how to be of more help, I am sorry," Raya added. "I must get back to work," she said.

You thanked her and left her to her duties. You grabbed your dinner and decided to wander around the castle. Your thoughts raged and roared, thinking of ways to escape or to run. You weren't even on your home planet, where would you run to? At least here you had a roof over your head and clothes and food. Who knew what would be out there? You knew you had to meet with the Queen and beg her to help you. It was possible she did not know of her son's actions. You decided to keep an eye out for an opportunity to see her and until then, keep your head down.

When you arrived back at Loki's quarters you entered through the tapestry to your room. As soon as you got onto your bed you heard the bell ring. Rolling your eyes you walked down the small passageway into Loki's chambers and closed the door behind you. He seemed tired and he was caked in dirt.

"Draw me a bath," he ordered and waved in the general direction of the bathroom. Would it kill him to say please?

You nodded and filled the tub with hot water. There were various bottles on the side of the enormous tub so you opened and sniffed them, pouring in a few drops of your favorite scents.

You were not prepared for the sight you turned to see. Loki stood before you, stark naked, looking at his face in the mirror.

"Fights are really more fun when one doesn't end up brawling in the mud like an animal," he sighed.

You closed your gaping mouth before he turned to you. You had taken in his form while he was looking at himself and... he was... well, big. You hadn't known how similar these people of another world were to your own kind, but they might as well have been human. And as much as you hated to admit it... Loki was incredibly fit and good looking.

Loki stepped past you and into the bath. He sighed, apparently content with your work. You made to leave but he spoke again.

"This smells quite good," he said, surprised. "What did you use?"

Was this a trap? He was going to make fun or taunt you or something surely.

"Um, the purple and the green," you said, unsure of their names since there were no labels.

"Ah," he was all he replied. He closed his eyes and slipped underwater to wet his hair. "That will be all," he said, annoyed that you hadn't picked up on whatever it was his cue for you to leave had been.

You exited the bathroom and closed the door, confused. What the hell was that? That was a completely different person than the man who had held you by the throat this morning. He must have been extremely tired from whatever it was he had been doing. Enough to let down his guard at least. But that made you think - if he had to let down a guard that meant there was something underneath to protect.

No, you thought. This wasn't going to be one of those Beauty and the Beast things where Stockholm syndrome made you think your captor was actually nice, or that he could change if only he had someone to love him. That didn't happen. And you would escape before it could anyway.

No, this man was unlovable. Most of all by you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *hint, that last line will eventually be a lie tehehe :)


	4. Chapter 4

When you arrived in your chambers you found an odd looking sphere on your night table. There was a small note beside it. You picked it up and it read: ALARM SET FOR 4AM. DON’T FORGET AGAIN. It was signed with an L. The whole note was written in beautiful calligraphy and you marveled at it for some time before turning your attention to the golden sphere. When you touched it, a hologram of the time popped up. You looked at it and set it back down on the table. 

Loki did not ring for you, so you settled into bed. You had surprisingly little difficulty falling asleep, but your dreams were no less terrifying than usual. Loki starred in most of them, either about to hit you or else killing some innocent women. You jolted awake when you heard a buzzing sound from beside you. You touched your sphere and rubbed your eyes.

You showered quickly and dressed, checking your appearance in the mirror. You looked a little gaunt. Between the stress and not eating as much as you should, your face was taking a beating. Your skin was not its natural color and your eyes looked a little sunken. 

You made your way down to the kitchen seeing almost no one at this time in the hallways. It was sort of peaceful in the moments before dawn in the palace. You could almost pretend that you were visiting it instead of imprisoned in it.

Before gathering a plate for the prince, you ate your own breakfast. You ate meats and other protein to make sure you wouldn’t look like a ghost anymore. The kitchen started filling up with servants getting ready for breakfast and you took that as your cue to put together your plate and leave. You saw Raya enter and she gave you an acknowledging nod which you returned. 

You carried Loki’s plate through the hallways, careful not to drop anything. When you arrived at his chambers you knocked, not knowing if he would want you to simply come in. 

“Yes?” he answered from inside.

You opened the doors and walked in.

“Your breakfast, my lord,” you forced yourself to say. You almost gagged. Prince or not, my lord sounded unnecessary.

Loki sat on the edge of his bed. He wore only pants, his white skin fully exposed on top.

“Ah, you learned how to wake at the appropriate time. I suppose anything is possible then,” he snapped.

“And yet you still haven’t learned how to be a decent human being,” you responded under your breath.

Oh. Whoops, you didn’t mean to say that out loud. You mentally slapped yourself and held your breath, waiting for his response.

When you forced yourself to look at him, he was watching you like you were a puzzle. His head cocked to the side and his dark eyes trained on you.

“I am not  human ,” he said the word like it was a curse. 

“What?” you asked. You knew you were on another planet but he  looked human. Everyone did.

“I am a god,” Loki answered, obviously having fun with his reveal. A god? he had to be kidding. “Perhaps your clans have forgotten about us, but we are still here." 

“And what are you the god of then?” you asked, once again throwing logic to the wind.

He arched an eyebrow and smirked.

“Mischief,” he answered. He motioned for you to bring his food to him and you somehow forced your legs towards him.

Was he serious? You saw no reason for him to lie to you. He was royalty… and anything was possible in this world from what you’d seen so far.

“What makes you think you can talk to me in this way?” he asked, still sitting on his bed..

“Mischief,” you replied, trying to sound cheeky.

His face barely moved but you thought you saw a twitch of his lip. Was he amused by this?

Your muscles were still tense, sensing danger, but you did not back down. Perhaps the only thing keeping you alive was the attitude other servants had lacked.

You stepped back and Loki began to eat.

“Watch yourself, girl. I will not always be in such good humor… Especially tonight. Which reminds me. You are to come with me to dinner this evening. My father, mother, and brother are having a family meal together,” he looked pained at the word  family . 

“Come with you?” you repeated.

“Are you completely vapid? Yes. Come with me, work with the kitchen servants. That way if I need you, you will be there. And you will also be my excuse should I need to leave.”

Your mind reeled. Serving Loki in public would put more pressure on you, but you would also get the chance to talk to the Queen… maybe.

“Of course, sir,” you said. “Will there be anything else?”

Loki spoke with a mouth full of meat. “Not now.”

With that you made your way back to your chambers, content to sleep some more since you had to get up so early.

Not long after you fell asleep you heard the bell ring. You touched your sphere and the time read about noon. Lunch, then.

You wandered into his room and saw that Loki was by his fireplace, reading. He lounged in the armchair with his feet on a small stool. He did not look away from the page when he spoke.

“Lunch. Something healthy.”

He wasn’t one for many words with you when he wanted something apparently.

You watched him for a moment. All the usual anger and annoyance in his face was gone. He was absorbed in one of the books you had brought him. It was strange to see such peace on that face. He almost looked… nice. You shook your head, scolding yourself for allowing him to seem anything other than what he was.

You stopped by the library on your quest for his lunch and got yourself a book. Casius was more than happy to help you and recommended one to you.

You dropped off the book in your room and delivered Loki’s lunch. He was still reading and waved you away with his hand after you set the tray down. You rolled your eyes and went to your room to read.

The time passed quickly and the novel was thrilling. It was a tale of a young adventurer who had sailed his boat to the edge of the world and tipped over into another. You felt rather attached to this explorer as you had had a similar journey. You did not get to finish the last chapter however, because Loki rang for you then.

You trudged into his room, dreading the dinner already. You were so nervous. There were going to be so many people that could kill you or have you killed in one room. There was also a potential escape plan though, and that made you want to suffer through whatever else happened.

Loki was wearing more formal clothes - an embroidered green and black tunic and dark pants. His hair was greased back into place. He looked you over and scowled.

“That will not do,” he said. He waved his hand up and down and you felt fabric on your skin where it had not been before. Looking down, you saw that an entire new dress had appeared. Even though you’d experienced this once before, it still blew your mind. The dress was slightly nicer than the one you had on before. The sleeves were full length and the hem extended to the floor. Your breasts were barely contained in the deep neckline. You ran your finger over the simple embroidery and marveled at it.

“That’ll do,” Loki muttered. “Come on. And don’t speak,” he added.

You fought the urge to do so but thought better of it. This might be your only chance with the Queen. Better not waste it.

Loki led you to the grand hall where the silver-haired man, the blonde man, and an amber-haired lady were sitting.

The blonde noticed Loki first and stood with open arms. 

“Brother,” he said in a low voice and large smile. 

Loki barely paid him any mind and instead sidestepped towards his mother.

“Thor,” he acknowledged the blonde man. “Mother,” he said in what you assumed was his tone of affection, or what he could muster of it, and kissed her cheek. 

You kept your eyes trained on the Queen. She was quite beautiful with long amber hair and matching hazel eyes. She smiled warmly at Loki and you wondered what it was she saw in that man.

“Father,” Loki addressed the King. His tone was stony, completely different from previously.

The King nodded in response and Loki took his seat at the table.

Loki looked back at you and whispered, “Go to the kitchen.”

You wanted to speak to the Queen but had no opportunity yet so you left, finding yourself in a bustling kitchen.

“Oh, hi,” Raya said when she spotted you. “How are you?”

“Oh, um, fine I guess,” you answered. “Here with the Prince.”

She nodded. 

“I’ll show you what plates to bring out and when,” she offered. “You just bring them out and wait for them until they’ve finished, then bring them back.”

You nodded, hoping that this would give you some opportunity to talk to the Queen during the night.

When the first course was prepared, you followed the other servants out and tried your best to mimic their synchronized movements. You placed Loki’s tray in front of him and he did not so much as even glance at you. You stood back with the other servants a few feet away and waited while they ate.

However annoyed you were, it did give you ample time to observe the family.

Thor seemed like a puppy. He was not the most intelligent, but he was very excited and engaged, smiling at everything, even Loki’s sarcastic comments.

Queen Frigga, you learned her name during dinner, seemed nice, but aloof. She smiled and gave an occasional comment, but it did not seem as though her heart were in the action. You couldn’t blame her, most of the conversation revolved around stories of battle.

You saw their family dynamic show itself as the night wore on. After the second course, a pattern started to emerge to you. Odin, the King, would ask about battles or fights that his sons had gotten into. Thor would regale his father with wild tales of triumph and bravery. He had a great knack for storytelling and his father laughed and slapped him on the shoulder in approval. When Loki spoke, however, he did not cause the same effect. Not surprisingly, Loki’s tales involved more scheming than muscle or brawn. They were very intelligent tactical moves from what you heard, and you were, against your better judgement, impressed. He told stories of outwitting rather than outweighing his competition. You watched as Odin’s eyes glazed over, clearly not interested in that kind of fighting.

When Odin did not give Loki the same attention he had given Thor, you watched as his face fell. He did not let his mask drop for long though and instead adopted a look of indifference, removing himself from the conversation entirely. You thought that perhaps he would use you to leave early, as he had mentioned, but before he could or would have, Frigga spoke to him.

“Have you been practicing those illusions I taught you?” she asked, moving her hand to cover his. 

You watched as his entire demeanor shifted. He seemed lighter, happier. You wondered at this sudden change. He responded affirmatively and they conversed for a while about magic and different tricks they had learned. For a moment,  you felt sorry for him. He clearly craved the attention and approval of his father, but he got none of it. Instead, he was overshadowed by his comparatively dim witted sibling. Add that to the fact that he was adopted and you had yourself the classic villain in the making. Part of you understood now why he lashed out the way he did. The bigger part recognized that this did not vindicate it.

When the final course came around, you did not expect for anything different to happen, however, when you placed Loki’s plate before him, Thor spoke.

“Loki, I’ve been meaning to ask all night. Where did you find such a beautiful servant?”

Thor beamed at you and even winked. He was incredibly handsome, although in a different manner than his brother. You gave him a shy smile.

Loki looked at you up and down and snarled. 

“You think she is beautiful? I didn’t notice. She’s slow though. Not sure I’ll keep her,” he said. You weren’t sure if he was serious. He had referred to you as attractive before hadn’t he? And was he serious about not keeping you? What would happen then?

“Oh you must, she is stunning,” Thor said to his brother.

“Thank you,” you spoke softly.

Loki stood suddenly and slapped you. It happened so fast you didn’t feel the sting until much later.

“I told you not to speak,” he spat at you.

“Loki,” Thor stood. 

You felt your burning cheek. You saw Frigga stand as well and your heart beat against your ribs. Would she speak up for you?

“Loki,” she said harshly. “We spoke about this.”

“She was out of line.”

You looked pleadingly at the Queen, but she was fixated on Loki.

“Do not touch her,” she ordered. 

Loki looked exceedingly angry but he took a big breath and clenched his fists.

It was like watching a small child be chastised for eating too much candy.

“Brother, be kind, please. She means no harm I am sure,” Thor interjected. “And besides, if you don’t want her, I would gladly take her.” You smiled, sensing nothing but jest in Thor’s voice.

Loki unclenched his fists and looked at you with fire in his eyes.

“Promise me,” Frigga said.

“I am not a child, mother,” Loki said. “I can do what I please.”

Frigga pulled Loki aside by the hand, an action you deemed extremely unsafe. She whispered for a long time in his ear until he relaxed his shoulders and nodded. You wondered what she could have possibly said because Loki came over and stood in front of you.

“Forgive me,” he said, not quite looking into your eyes. He then walked past you and out into the hallway.

“You’d better follow him,” Frigga offered.

You wanted so badly to talk to her and ask her to return you to earth, to your family. You figured now was your time.

“Queen Frigga,” you said, suddenly on your knees before her. Thor and Odin looked on in mild interest. She looked down at you, a little embarrassed. “Please, please allow me to go back home. I have a life on earth. Please, I’m afraid I will die here.” You couldn’t help the tears that fell down your cheeks.

“Stand, child,” she whispered. You did as you were told. Her eyes were kind and she held your hand. “I do not have the power to send you home.”

“What?” How could the Queen not have that power?

“Loki used a certain summoning spell to take you here. I cannot simply use the Bifrost to return you. It must be the one who cast the spell who returns you. I am sorry.”

“But… what will people back home think happened to me?” you asked thinking of your father, and your cat.

“Most likely they will assume you are dead once you are missing for long enough,” Frigga answered bluntly.

Poor Ginny. You hoped you had filled her bowl with enough food and water for the days that it would take for someone to stop by your house to check on you. You remembered putting a new bag next to the counter. She could open it with her claws if she tried hard enough.

“But… it’s not fair,” you were sobbing now. Your only hope had been useless.

“I am sorry child,” she said again. She dropped your hand and you wiped your tears.

Thor looked on apologetically, all jest gone from his face. 

You simply nodded, not trusting your voice. You turned to leave, thanking everyone for their time. You felt weightless, unreal. The thought that the Queen could fix everything was foolish. Of course it would be something dumb like a spell only Loki could reverse. You were so angry and scared. 

Any sympathy you might have had for Loki at dinner was gone. His daddy issues did not excuse him from his actions. You were filled with a new sense of purpose - a possibly suicidal purpose. You weren’t going to take any more shit from him. You didn’t know if it would work out and you were scared of dying, but this, the way things were, this was no life. 


	5. Chapter 5

Storming into Loki's chambers, you were almost excited to yell at him and give him a piece of your mind. You'd held back a lot, and now you were ready. There was a tightness in your chest with a bit of fear, but you thrust the doors open anyway. And there you stopped.

That tightness relaxed and the fire in you subsided as you looked at the sleeping Prince. For some reason, you would not allow yourself to wake him and pick a fight. That foreign look of peace rested nicely on his pale features. You didn't think he had planned to fall asleep but the emotional toll of dinner with his father must have triggered something. He lay on his back on top of the covers with one leg hanging off the bed. His shoes were still on. He reminded you of when you would return to your house after your father had been drinking. He too would collapse, drunk, just as Loki had. You sighed heavily as the resolve within you dissolved. You slid off his shoes and moved his leg onto the bed. It felt like poking a sleeping lion so you did nothing more. He mumbled something and turned away from you as you left the room.

You followed suit and collapsed on your bed, still haunted by nightmares.

Your alarm went off as it always did before dawn and you struggled down to the kitchen to fetch Loki his breakfast. Snatching some for yourself as well, you found him standing by the window when you entered. You placed the tray down and he turned towards you.

"There's a small list of things for you to take care of today," he said in a listless tone. "I will be getting things ready for a trip we must take tomorrow."

"A trip?" you asked.

"Yes. It's none of your business but we are going to one of the neighboring towns. We do this every so often, my brother and I, to make sure there are no feelings of... unrest."

You smiled, thinking of his kind brother.

"So Prince Thor will be joining us?" you asked hopefully.

Loki scoffed at your excitement.

"No. He is going to the other town. They are far more difficult than where we are going."

He turned and stared at your disappointed face.

"Well, get a move on," he said, waving his arm towards your list. "I won't be gone long."

He grabbed some food from the tray and left the room without another word. You looked at the list - comparatively less to do than usual.

All you had to do was return the books and get new ones, clean the room and bathroom and deliver a letter.

You went to the stack of books by the fireplace and sat for a moment. Your hands brushed over one of the beautiful covers. It was a hardback dark blue book with gold engravings. You couldn't help but open to the first page. It even smelled good. You had only been able to read one book since you came here and that was hardly enough. You'd only read the first chapter, you thought...

Twenty chapters later you heard the doorknob giggle and open. Your heart caught in your throat. How did you let time get away from you? Loki would realize you hadn't started any of your chores since he left. _He can't hurt me_ , you thought to yourself. The Queen said so. You gulped, knowing that that probably wouldn't stop him.

You made to stand up and close the book to at least look like you weren't just lounging, but you didn't even get to move before Loki saw you.

At first his face showed surprise, and then, as you would have guessed, anger.

"What are you doing?" he asked, taking definitively slow steps towards the chair.

Your tongue did not want to respond. You remembered your resolve yesterday to stand up for yourself. You deserved some time off didn't you?

"I was reading one of the books," you answered, trying to sound uncaring.

You saw his face register this, as though something new occurred to him. His expression changed, becoming neutral.

"Well, go on then," he said suddenly.

You blinked, thinking you must have misheard him. Did he just tell you to keep reading?

"You want me to--"

"Yes, I see you're almost done, keep reading until the end."

You searched his face but it was unreadable. Surely this was some kind of trap. Why would he possibly let you read? Your confusion showed clearly in your face.

"Read," Loki said, rolling his eyes. He pulled up the small foot stool and sat in front of you. The confusion you felt was unreal but you didn't see any other option but to read.

Feeling a bit self conscious under his stare, you let your mind wander back to the land of the book. Soon enough you were lost in it and finished the remaining chapters quickly. You closed the book and put it down, feeling his intense gaze on you again.

"Well?" he asked, expectantly.

"What?" you asked.

"What did you think?"

"What did _I_ think?" you asked incredulously. "Why do you care?"

He smirked and stood up.

"I don't."

You could tell he was lying. You weren't sure why he would care about your opinion though.

"I asked you a question," he said lowly.

"Well, I thought it was very interesting."

"That doesn't mean anything. Details."

You felt quite put on the spot. On the one hand, you wanted to impress him with some kind of amazing insight into the book. On the other, you were scared as to what he would say or think of you if you said something dumb. You hadn't had much time to process it since you just finished it.

You decided to just give your first impression.

"I thought it was wonderful. The story had a lot of twists, some of which I did not see coming. The characters had depth, except for Maya, and the ending was perfectly tragic."

You spoke the truth of what you had read. Loki turned to you with that look in his eye. It was as though you were the last of an exotic endangered species on display. You shrunk under his gaze for a moment before realizing you shouldn't have to. He couldn't make you feel small. You were important and you mattered. He couldn't take that away. He noticed this shift in you and you thought you saw that twitch of his lip.

"Quite an astute observation," he offered after a moment of consideration.

"What did you think?" you tried.

"Well, much the same as you, actually," he sounded surprised. "Except I didn't see _any_ of the twists. How did you?"

You shrugged.

"I watch a lot of TV, I know just about all the twists there are by now."

He looked confused. You realized they didn't have television here.

"It's an earth thing," you said. He nodded.

There was a moment's pause before you spoke again.

"Why do you care what my opinion is?" you asked again.

He studied you for a moment before speaking.

"Do not think this levels us in any way," he prefaced. "But you are the only one who I know that has read that book. Or any book." He looked tired suddenly. "No one really shares my interests here."

You nodded, knowing a similar feeling from back home. No one had ever been as passionate as you about anything you cared about.

"Now, get back to work," he said curtly.

Any kindness he might have shown you earlier was gone and that stony mask was back in its place. You grabbed the books and headed to the library to get him new ones. All the while you couldn't stop thinking about him. It wasn't a remarkable conversation or discussion of literature by any means. But yet, there was something to it that bothered you. He seemed... interested for once in what you thought. As much as you thought him cruel and distant, you did admire his intellect. And for him to ask you your opinion and share it was somehow exciting. You scolded yourself. You should not be looking for things to like about this man.

And yet... you wanted to talk to him again. Having something in common had made it more bearable to be in the same room as him for once. And you thought you saw... admiration in his eyes for you. You recalled when he had switched back into that persona and ordered you to get back to work so suddenly. Why was that? You could have surely gone on to discuss more of the book. Why had he stopped?

You tried to think about your tasks at hand and eventually completed them. Loki had left by the time you got back from the library and delivering the letter, so you cleaned the room in peace.

He arrived as you were finishing making his bed and you felt his presence like an ice storm in the room.

"Where is my dinner?" he asked harshly.

You turned around to face him, seeing his countenance in an unexplained rage.

"You didn't ask for it yet," you answered calmly.

Where was this anger coming from?

He stalked over to you and stood very close, looking down at you with such anger.

"You should have already gotten it," he seethed.

"You've never expected that before," you stood your ground. "And I'm not a mind reader, Loki."

Oops. You'd never call him by his name before. Thinking it in your head all this while had just seeped through your lips. You surprised yourself but you saw something light up in his eyes.

He slapped you hard again and you let out a small yelp.

"It's _my lord_ to you, servant," he yelled. You were taken aback, having expected him to follow the Queen's orders. You felt that fire from last night burn inside you again.

"You will _not_ hit me, you entitled bastard," you said fiercely. "The Queen herself demanded--"

His palm hit your face again in the same spot making it burn. Before you could speak again or even think, you fist connected with his jaw.

There was more power there than you had thought possible. Loki stumbled back a few steps and you stood your ground, your heart threatening to escape out of your chest. You were breathing heavily but he seemed to be... smiling?

You watched as he smoothed his jaw with his fingers.

He looked you up and down and kept smiling.

"Impressive," he said.

You were shocked. What? Impressive? You had expected him to wring your neck for that. You stood at a loss for words in front of him.

"Entitled bastard?" he asked, cocking an eyebrow.

You shrugged, still unsure as to your safety.

"Relax," he said, moving to sit on the bed. "I will not harm you any more."

"Then what the hell was that?" you asked.

"A test," he replied.

"For what?" you asked, exasperated.

Loki looked at you for a long moment before speaking.

"I suppose by now you realize you are different from others that have served me?"

He patted the seat next to him on the bed and you eyed it warily, not moving.

"Sit," he ordered. He rolled his eyes before adding, "Please."

At the foreign word you obeyed, sitting as far away from him as possible.

"You know why I chose you that day?" he asked.

Your mind flashed back to the mass killing of innocent women and you swallowed hard. You must never forget what he did that day.

"No," you answered.

"It was because you were the only one to look me in the eyes."

You remembered even then feeling a defiance against him. You almost smiled at the memory.

"And for a while I thought perhaps that fierceness was gone. But I see I was wrong."

"Why would you want a defiant servant?" you asked, hating the word as you said it.

Loki shrugged.

"I was bored," he offered. You weren't sure you bought it but he didn't seem to be offering another explanation. "You have a good right hook," he added, almost smiling.

"Thanks," you mustered. This was so strange. It still felt like some kind of trap to you. 

You thought back to your conversation about books earlier. It must have triggered something in him. He must have realized how nice it was to have someone with something in common with him, just as you had. Perhaps it had been so long that he had just pushed everyone away without a chance. Now he had you, someone to share one of his passions with. That scared you - for what did that make you if you had the same passions as a murderer?

You were very stiff and Loki watched you carefully.

"What is it?" he asked.

"Nothing," you lied. The images that had haunted your dreams came back to you again.

"Don't lie to me," you heard a slight threat in his voice.

You sighed, not wanting to hear what he had to say about it, but not wanting to face whatever he would do if you did not tell him.

"That day... when you picked me..." you started, his eyes never left yours. "Those women... you just... killed them."

"Killed them?" he asked, surprised.

"Well yeah, they all fell to the ground. The girl next to me had her eyes wide open."

Loki shook his head and smirked.

"They were not dead. I simply knocked them out to send them back to their planet."

Your mind reeled. All this time you had thought Loki was a mass murderer.

"You thought I killed them all?" he asked. His face seemed to fall a little, as if your opinion of him matter at all.

"Yes," you answered.

Loki nodded, as if he confirmed something he was thinking.

"I am not surprised," he said, with a hint of sadness to his voice.

You scrunched your brows together in concentration while he got up and walked to the window. Why did he sound so... pathetic? Surely he was confident in his image as a dark Prince of sorts. It sounded like he was disappointed that you saw him in such a negative light.

"Loki," you said without thinking. "Sorry," you quickly corrected, "My lord..."

"Loki is fine," he said half-heartedly.

"Loki," you repeated. "Will that be all for today?" you asked carefully.

The confusion of this encounter had you almost dizzy. You wanted to lie down and think.

"Yes," he said, seemingly also lost in thought. He did not turn or look at you as you went to your chambers.

Laying down in bed you stared up at the ceiling thinking. You had had this one picture of Loki in your head the entire time. You thought he was a murderer, someone completely without empathy or feelings. Now, looking back with this new evidence in hand, you had to change that picture. He was an adopted son whose father did not love him as much as his other son. He loved literature but had no one to discuss it with. He was angry and struck out with violence. You did not want to be one of those girls like Belle in Beauty and the Beast. Loki had some serious issues. It was not up to you to fix them, you told yourself. You wouldn't be one of those girls who thinks she can fix the broken man. No. But there was something in Loki, especially now, you realized, that was alluring to you. It wasn't that he was a broken man or had problems. It was a sort of kindred spirit. You too had problems with finding things in common with people, and you had parental issues, who didn't? Maybe... if you could befriend Loki, make him a little less alone, he would at least become easier to live with. Maybe life would be better for you here if you didn't have to worry about your life so often. But there was no way this beauty would ever love that beast.

It was difficult to fall asleep that night with all those thoughts running through your head, but eventually you slept, no longer haunted by those nightmares.


	6. Chapter 6

You had only ridden a horse once in your life and there was a reason for that. Being thrown from a giant beast was not your idea of a good time. Loki seemed quite annoyed at your reluctance to mount the horse that had been allotted to you for the journey to the neighboring town. His lips were pressed together in a thin line and his hands clenched the reins tightly. You grimaced, trying again to go near the thing but you balked and the horse whinnied.

"Oh for Gods sakes," Loki sighed. He dismounted his regal black horse and came to your side. "If you can't ride alone, you'll have to ride with me."

"What?" was all you could get out before he grabbed your waist. Your body tingled at the foreign touch and you scolded yourself. It had been so long since someone touched you at all, it felt strange. After Alma's hug, you had pretty much been on your own. The last person you had expected to touch you was Loki.

Loki lifted you onto the horse with ease and you straddled the horse despite your dress. The hem rode up on your thighs revealing more of your legs than you would have liked. You noted Loki's eyes glance over your exposed skin and he breathed deeply.

He stuck his foot in the strap and mounted the horse with extreme grace. You marveled at his natural ability with the horse. It seemed to respond to his slightest touch. After noticing this, you realize he was sitting quite close in back of you. You could feel his chest on your back.

"Hold the reins," he spoke right next to your ear. Although the voice used to scare you, you found that now his tone was deeper, more relaxed.

You did as instructed.

"I will teach you," Loki said. After a pause he added, "So we don't have to do _this_ again."

Part of you - a small part - wanted to have to do this again. The feeling of him, or was it just a body close to yours, felt so good. His arms wrapped around yours and his hands closed over yours on the reins. He guided your right arm to show you how to maneuver the horse.

"See how she responds?" he asked, again very close and almost sensually into your ear.

You nodded, not trusting your voice.

"Good, I will show you were to go," he said.

Suddenly he kicked the horse and clicked his tongue. The horse responded immediately and began a light trot along the path out of the palace.

Loki kept his hands on yours until you go the first few turns and breaks under your belt. You were surprised to find yourself disappointed as the contact ceased and Loki moved his hands off of yours.

You felt his hands drift to your hips, settling there to keep himself steady. He could have easily held onto the saddle, you thought. Still, the contact felt nice and you scolded yourself for enjoying it - but did nothing to stop it.

This was such a strange way to be with the prince. Until last night you had assumed he was a complete monster. He still was, in some ways, but he was not, as you had first assumed, a murderer. You had been surprised to find a slightly softer side to him. You shook your head of that thought, remembering the multiple times he made you fear for you physical safety. And yet, here he was, being weirdly gentle with you, even patient. Had something changed?

Your thoughts kept wrapping around in those circles as you listened to his softly spoken directions to the town. Once you entered the town, there was a small reception gathered around the main building. A man in the most decorative robes of the group stepped forward from the crowd and bowed. He had bright blonde hair and stunning blue eyes. He reminded you a bit of Thor, but slender. He welcomed you with a warm smile.

Loki dismounted first and, to your surprise, extended his hand to help you down. Again he grabbed your waist and set you gently to the ground. You thanked him under your breath and turned to face the new man.

"Thadius Kingsly, Town Master, my lord, at your service," the man bowed and the group around him followed suit.

Loki nodded and Thadius stood up. You stood where Loki had placed you, slightly behind him.

"And is this your lovely wife?" Thadius asked, peering around at you.

You made to correct him but Loki beat you to it. He stepped in front of you completely blocking Thadius' view.

"No, this is my servant," he said roughly.

You frowned behind him.

"I'm (y/n), actually," you spoke up, feeling bold. You skirted around Loki and held out your hand.

"A servant?" Thadius smiled. "Surely not a beauty such as you?"

You smiled and thanked him for the compliment. Meanwhile, Loki was fuming behind you. You felt Loki's hand grab yours and pull you back from Thadius.

"She is of no importance," Loki said, moving you again behind him. 

It was strange, he said you didn't matter, and that you were simply his servant, and yet here he was, hiding you behind him like something he wished to protect.

"Well, you, Prince, are obviously of importance to us," Thadius said smoothly. "Welcome to our town. You will find we are all quite happy here under Odin's rule."

Thadius smiled and the group parted. Apparently there was to be a tour of the town as if that proved that there was no unrest. In truth, everything seemed pretty nice to you. The streets were lovely cobbled roads and there were humble houses and taverns lining them. The people seemed jovial and lighthearted and it was nice to see so many people more on your level than royalty. Loki eventually took the lead, searching for whatever it was he thought he might find as a symbol of unrest. You stayed behind him and Thadius was at your side quickly.

"How long have you worked for the Prince?" he asked low enough not to be heard by Loki.

"Um," you answered, not sure how to explain. "Not long."

"Do you like it?" he asked.

You laughed and Loki turned suddenly to look at you with confusion. You stopped immediately and he turned his attention back to his examination.

"It's not really a choice," you answered truthfully. Thadius nodded.

"Well, if it were up to me, I'd make you a princess," he smiled kindly. "Does he ever smile?" Thadius joked, watching Loki's stern face.

You laughed again at the thought of seeing Loki genuinely smile at something normal.

Loki turned around again and this time he stopped.

"Something funny?" he asked seriously. All joy fled your and Thadius' faces.

"No, sir," you responded. You tried to imagine that genuine smile on his face but just couldn't.

"Perhaps you should not distract my servant, Thadius," Loki said, placing an arm around your waist.

The contact surprised you and you looked down, almost unbelieving. This was strangely possessive and not a way to treat a "servant" if that's what you were to him.

"What exactly is he distracting me from?" you asked.

"That will be all, Thadius," Loki said, ignoring you. "You are no longer needed. Good day."

Thadius looked a little put out but nodded.

"Good day my lord," he said bowing slightly. "It was a pleasure to meet you my lady," he added, smiling at you.

Loki whisked you around before you could return the sentiment and led you towards the horse.

"You didn't let me say goodbye," you complained.

"He doesn't care about a servant's salutations," Loki said coldly.

If you didn't know any better, you would have said that Loki was... jealous. Thadius had made you laugh and had called you beautiful in front of Loki. Suddenly Loki's arm was possessively around you and you weren't allowed to speak to him?

"He was very kind to me, it feels rude to ignore him," you countered. "And I think he did care about my salutations."

You arrived in front of the horse and Loki let you go.

"Maybe too much," he murmured. Once again he lifted you up on the horse with ease and you settled into the saddle.

"What do you mean?" you asked.

"You don't know what he was thinking," Loki sneered.

"I can imagine," you almost laughed. The thoughts of men were nothing new to you.

"And you were okay with that?" he asked.

"Why should you care?" you asked.

Loki barely moved. It was as if that question had not occurred to him and now he was wondering why indeed. He did not respond and instead kicked the horse into a gallop, causing you to hold the reins tightly. You weren't sure you liked this new side of Loki. If it was a choice between meaning nothing to him and being an object to possess, you would have chosen nothing. You weren't about to be something he could own and control.

When you returned to the castle some other servants took the horse once Loki had helped you dismount. You walked to the Grand Hall with him and met Thor there.

"Brother!" Thor was enthusiastic as ever. "How was your trip?"

"Monotonous," Loki looked oppositely unenthused.

"Well, that is good I suppose," he said. You noticed a hint of something in his voice. Something was off. Loki noticed too and pricked his head like a dog.

"What is it?"

Thor's smile faltered and he dropped his eyes.

"There is some unrest, I believe. A few villagers... they were not happy with the new law."

"Cause for concern?" Loki asked.

"I am not sure," Thor confessed.

"Well, tell father," Loki answered. "It should be dealt with."

"You are right, as usual," Thor smiled. You enjoyed his easy nature. He seemed to truly care for his brother although you were not sure the feelings were mutual.

You parted company with Thor and walked with Loki to his chambers.

"Speak," he suddenly cut through your thoughts.

"What?" you asked, shaken from your concerns about the afternoon.

"You are concerned about something," he said bluntly. It was eerie how he could read you so well.

"It's nothing. What do you care?" you asked. "I'm just your _servant_."

"Mmm, and yet when my servant is ill at ease, it causes me a hint of annoyance. So get it off your chest."

You huffed but conceded.

"I am not your property," you said softly. You felt his eyes on you but you did not dare look at him.

"You are _mine_ ," Loki countered. "You are _my_ servant."

"I am _your_ nothing," you spat back with more venom than you'd meant. Loki stopped walked and glared at you. "Except maybe your prisoner."

"You--"

"Thadius was simply being nice to me. You acted like... like..." you were going to say jealous boyfriend but thought better of it.

"Thadius' intentions were not pure," Loki said simply.

"What?" you almost screamed. "And your intentions of imprisoning me here and making me your servant _is_ pure?"

Loki pulled his lips into a thin line. He walked a few feet to his door and walked inside, leaving it open for you. You followed, interested to know what his rationale was for such a ridiculous line of thinking.

"You don't know him," Loki said softly, not meeting your eyes. "I know... things. I know what he's done... to women."

Oh...

"And you..." the thought was so completely alien to you that you couldn't form the words for a moment. "You wanted to... protect me?"

Loki looked angry... very angry. His hands gripped the edge of the chair as he leaned over it, breathing heavily.

"Why would I?" he asked, seemingly to himself. "You're nothing, you're my servant."

You cocked your head as you watched him. This was just as confusing for him as it was for you apparently.

"You wanted to protect me..." you repeated.

He looked up at you then and his brows furrowed.

"I don't... know," was all he said.

You waited for him to say more - explain more - but he didn't. You turned and left to go to your room. This was just getting stranger and stranger. Loki wanted to protect you? In a strange way it made you feel good. At first you had feared him, hated him. Now... you were discovering things that made you doubt your original assumptions.

Was it possible that Loki had feelings for you... at least as more than a servant? You had no idea what to do with that. Was it possible that you felt something for him? No, surely not... right?

You listened and could hear Loki pacing and mumbling in his room for a while before you finally fell asleep... Only to be woken in the middle of the night...


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning: sad things in this chapter

It felt like you'd been asleep for ages, but in reality only about an hour had passed. Loki was shaking you, trying to wake you up. You opened your eyes and saw his frantic face. He was in his sleeping clothes - or lack there of - meaning just his pants. Your brain tried to wake and register why Loki would possibly be in your room, shaking you, yelling your name, but not violently... urgently.

Something was wrong.

"Come with me," was all he offered.

"What's happening?" you asked. Loki was already on his way out of your room.

You got out bed and slipped on some shoes. You followed him out into his room and watched as he slipped on a shirt and reached into a drawer. He pulled out... a dagger. What was happening?

"What is going on?" you asked again.

"The people from the town Thor visited today... he was right, they are not happy. We need to go," he said, grabbing your hand.

Your heart leapt against your will at the firm grasp of Loki's hand. He led you out into the hallway.

"What do you mean?" you asked. Perhaps with more sleep you would be able to reason better but this was making no sense.

"They stormed the gates, there's quite a few of them. The guards couldn't stop them... They're in the palace."

"Then why are we wandering around?" you hissed.

"That's why I brought this," Loki waved his dagger for you. "We can't stay in my quarters, they'll know to look there."

"Where are we going then?" you asked.

Just then you heard an angry mob around the corner. From the sound of their feet they were booking it down the hallway. Loki quickly swerved into an alcove, pulling you tight against his chest. The mob passed, not bothering to look into the small alcove. You stayed like that for a moment after they passed. You felt... safe against him. Something you never thought would happen. Your heart beat against his chest and his arm stayed around you for a moment more.

Finally he released you and peered out of the alcove.

"Alright, come on," he said.

He was guiding you towards the Grand Hall. The rest of your journey there was uninterrupted and you thought you might have passed the worst of it.

"Won't they go to the Grand Hall?" you asked. "It's the biggest room."

"The biggest and generally the emptiest," Loki said quietly. "They are angry at the royals, they would go for the bedrooms. Hence our departure," he said, almost amused.

You nodded. You supposed that did make sense at this time of night.

You entered the Grand Hall with Loki, his hand still in yours. You made your way to the back of the room. It was empty, as he said it would be. Or at least you thought it was.

"Loki," you heard her before you saw her. Frigga emerged from the shadows and ran to her son.

"Mother," you could see the relief on Loki's face. "Where are Father and Thor?"

"I'm not sure," she said, distraught but strong.

You were suddenly very conscious of your hand entwined with Loki's but he didn't move to separate them so neither did you. You felt safer like that.

Just then you heard voices in the hallway heading your way. They rounded the corner to enter the room and before Loki could do or say anything, Frigga grabbed his dagger and pushed the two of you into the corner she had come from. She waved her hand and an illusion appeared before you: a statue. You couldn't help but stare at it. You could see through it, but when you made to touch it, it seemed solid. You assumed it was not see-through to anyone else. You pressed against it again and felt it's weight. You were... trapped behind it. Why would Frigga do that?

You felt Loki tense and you looked up to see five angry mob members surrounding Frigga. You had imagined them with pitchforks and torches, but these men had come with daggers and chains.

" _Queen_ ," the biggest one spat at her like an insult.

"Gentlemen," she responded calmly.

You could feel Loki's breathing quicken and he unconsciously held your hand tighter. You looked at his tense jaw and tight lips. Why had she locked you in this corner? Loki could have protected her.

All you could do was watch as the five men closed in. Frigga did not show an ounce of fear. She struck suddenly and with such force at the first man that he toppled backwards onto his ass. She ducked punches and avoided stabbings from three men. She squatted and swept the feet out from under two of them and then kicked another in the balls. The last one standing smiled, almost impressed. Your jaw was wide open. You had a new heroine.

"Impressive," he conceded in his rough voice.

Frigga did not acknowledge the compliment. And then you wanted to scream. The man she had first taken out was standing up silently behind her. Frigga was so focus on the man in front of her that she did not see the knife until it was too late. Loki seemed to have the same loss of voice you did for you both remained silent when it happened. Frigga crumpled to the ground as the man pulled the knife out of her back. She sunk silently and lay very still for a long time. The men helped each other up and the killer wiped his blade on his shirt.

You felt sick. You were going to vomit. Your hand was sweating in Loki's and you didn't know what to do with your body. You turned to him and he let you. You hid your face in his chest and he held you close to him. You didn't even dare look up at his face. You couldn't imagine what that had done to him.

The man who had killed Frigga stayed, looking down at his innocent victim while his friends lost interest and wandered into the hallway.

Frigga's illusion flickered and faded. Loki let go of you and started walking silently towards the man. You wanted to scream, to tell him no, but you couldn't. You didn't even remember what your own name was at the moment. You watched helplessly from the sidelines as Loki walked like a jaguar stalking his prey. When he got behind the man and grabbed his knife, you turned away. You heard the knife run across the man's neck and the awful noises he made because of it.

You heard his body drop to the ground and only then did you look up. Somehow, you made your legs move forward. Loki had moved the man's body away from Frigga. His blood was pooling slowly on the floor around you. Loki did not acknowledge you and instead leaned over his mother's body. You watched his face carefully. He remained neutral, distant. His breath came evenly and he blinked a few times before standing.

You heard a rumble in the hallway although right now everything sounded like it was underwater. Thor and Odin made their way into the room once they had taken care of the men outside, and Loki stood back from Frigga, pulling you with him. He watched with cool detachment as Odin ran to Frigga and cradled her head in his hands. He cried out, as only a husband would, while Thor knelt next to him, his eyes tearing.

You looked away from the scene. You had only known Frigga short time... but no one deserved to die like that - least of all her. And what made it worse was that she sacrificed herself for her son and for you. You cried silently as your body convulsed. Out of the corner of your eye you saw Loki start to leave.

You followed him and watched his tense shoulders as he made his way into his room. He was a few paces ahead of you and you heard what he was doing before you saw it. He had left the door to his room ajar and you peeked in.

Loki was throwing anything that wasn't anchored to the floor. He threw vases and they smashed against the wall. He took glasses and broke them over his knee. He ran to the windows and ripped down the curtains. All the while he was screaming at the top of his lungs. You watched, unable to do much else.

He broke another vase but this time the shard cut his hand open. You ran to him without thinking, grabbing a towel on your way. He had stopped screaming and was staring at his bleeding hand. You quickly covered it with a towel. You were shaking, mostly from what you'd just seen, but more so from Loki's display of emotion.

Loki's knees buckled and he fell to the floor, thankfully avoiding the many shards of broken vase and glass. You knelt down next to him and held the cloth on his hand. You watched his face carefully. He looked so lost. His eyes didn't focus on anything and he remained silent.

The blood flow stopped soon enough and you discovered it was just a superficial cut.

"Come on," you said softly.

You stood up and Loki followed you robotically. He allowed you to lead him over to his bed where he sat with a thump. You took off his shoes for him as he stared listlessly in front of him. You pulled his shirt up over his head and he lifted his arms. You untucked the covers for him and he slid beneath them, staring at the ceiling.

You turned, ready to leave, when he stopped you.

"Stay," came a small voice from the bed.

You turned, sure you imagined it.

"Please stay," you heard him say. Loki was looking at you desperately.

You looked around at first, unsure, but then conceded. He moved over and you took off your shoes. They were stained with blood and you were glad to be rid of them. You sat on the edge of the bed at first, testing it out. Then you slid under the covers and laid on your back.

"Thank you," Loki said quietly.

"No problem," you responded, as if you had simply given him a birthday present.

There was a heavy silence. What could you say? Surely he wouldn't be able to sleep.

"She saved us," you said finally.

Loki swallowed hard and nodded.

"She didn't have to. I could have--" Loki closed his eyes.

You had to tell yourself not to hold him. This was still the man that abducted you... and yet... you felt immense sympathy towards him.

"I lost my mother too," you offered, not sure if it would help. "In a car accident though."

Loki was silent for a moment before he spoke.

"Does... does it get easier?" he asked finally.

"No," you answered. "But you learn to live with it."

You rolled to your side to face him.

"You're feeling numb now?" you asked.

Loki nodded.

"The worst is the first few days. Then after that it starts getting a little easier, day by day. Some days are better than others."

You didn't know what you were saying. That's how it was for you but you had no idea if that was helpful to him. And since when did you want to help him? Yet you couldn't help yourself. You didn't want him to suffer... No one deserved this.

"I won't sleep," he said.

You shook your head.

"Probably not."

"But you'll... say?" he asked.

"If you command it," you answered.

He rolled to you and looked morose.

"I don't _command_ it," he said softly. "But I would like it if you did."

If you were honest, you did not want to be alone right now. The thought of sleeping next to Loki was a strange comfort. The safety you had felt with him before had not diminished or changed in spite of his vengeful actions. You were going to ask if he regretted his action but you knew he did not, and you did not blame him for it.

"Will they be looking for you?" you asked, suddenly remembering Odin and Thor.

He shook his head.

"They have larger concerns to attend to than me," he answered.

You remembered their dynamic at dinner and realized the only member of his family Loki truly loved was now dead. He was completely alone. Thor might love him, but Loki did not feel the same for some reason. He had no one now... except you. The thought shook you. What would that mean for your future?

You felt the bed start to shake a little and looked over. Loki had his arms wrapped around himself, shaking. He was holding in sobs as they threatened to escape. In a moment of sympathy you moved closer to him and wrapped your arms around him.

"It's okay," you whispered. "It'll be okay."

He said nothing and let you hold him. You stroked his hair and whispered small condolences to him while he shook. Eventually his shaking subsided and you felt him roll you gently over. He wrapped himself around you and spooned you. He relaxed completely once you were in his arms.

This touch which would have originally made you cringe and cower from him now made you feel safer. The warmth of him against your back and his long arm around your waist made you feel strangely protected. Even if you were the one doing the comforting, it did flow both ways. After the horror you had just witnessed, you needed someone to hold you.

You were surprised when you heard Loki's breathing slow and realized he was asleep. Soon enough the adrenaline fall off made you incredibly sleepy. You drifted into a restless sleep in Loki's arms.

***

It took you a moment to realize who was in bed with you. You woke up to Loki's arm around you and his chest against your back. You stirring made him wake and for a moment he hugged you tighter to him. Then he seemed to realize what you were doing and he sat up, releasing you.

Just then you heard a knock on the door. You scrambled out of bed and adjusted your clothes as Loki said, "Come in."

Thor stood at the entrance of Loki's room, his face heavy with sorrow. It was as if the sun itself had darkened.

"You are needed for the funeral arrangements," was all he said.

Loki nodded grimly and Thor left without another word. Loki dressed quickly without a word to you.

"Come with me?" he asked. The words from last night reverberated in your head. The same words but a different context. You nodded and went to your room for new shoes.

**

Loki kept you close to him throughout the preparations. The funeral was to be that evening and there were a few details to attend to.

You barely listened as they planned out what you had known to be a Viking funeral. Throughout the whole ordeal you were within a foot of Loki. He hovered near you without meaning to. You sometimes felt his hand in yours without reason or explanation. When had this started? Since when were you okay with it?

You both needed each other now. He had lost his mother - his only source of love. You had witnessed the most terrible thing of your life.

When it was arranged, you and Loki grabbed food from the kitchen and returned to his room. The funeral was to be after dinner, once darkness came.

When the time did come, Loki refused to go with the rest of his family. They did not fight him much when he said so, although it confused you. Instead of joining the others by the river, Loki walked silently outside, hand in yours, to the top of a hill. The hill overlooked everything.

From here you watched as the bowman lit Frigga's casket boat on fire. Thousands of lanterns were then released and followed the boat. It was very beautiful. You cried quietly and mourned the loss of a great woman. Loki sat beside you stoically. After all the lanterns and the boat were out of sight, he stood. The stars gleamed bright above you as you walked back into the palace and into Loki's chambers.

He laid on the bed once he took off his shoes and looked up at the canopy. He looked over at you and didn't even have to ask. You laid next to him, looking up as well.

"Can I show you something?" he asked.

You nodded.

Loki waved his hand above him and suddenly images appeared on the canvas above you. It was Frigga, much much younger. You watched in wonder at the images that danced across the top.

"What is this?" you asked.

"My memories," Loki said.

Images of Frigga smiling from Loki's point of view waded onto the screen. She was picking him up and then cradling him. You smiled, enjoying the organic home movie.

"She's quite beautiful," you murmured. Loki hummed his agreement.

Various images of a smiling Frigga came and went. She was teaching him magic, she was feeding him when he was sick, all sorts of things your mother did for you when you were younger.

Loki looked at you but the images kept playing. Suddenly they weren't all just Frigga. There were a group of school age boys taunting and teasing Loki; there was Odin yelling relentlessly at him while Thor stood in the background; there was another flash but when Loki saw your face he realized he had slipped and waved his hand again, fading away the images.

This was a lot of information for you. Just from what you saw, several things happened. Your heart broke for Loki's loss of such a wonderful mother. It also ached because of the sadness of the images you were not meant to see. It was strange. Although you had simply seen the images of the memories, it was as if you had experienced them yourself. You could have told him what was baking in the kitchen in one of them, or how the fabric of her dress had felt. You weren't sure how, but they felt like real experiences. That went likewise for the unintentional memories. You felt the isolation from the boys and the alienation from Odin. They buried themselves inside you as if you had been the target instead of Loki.

You sat up and rubbed your head. Loki sat up as well and watched you carefully.

"Sorry, I didn't mean for that to happen," Loki said.

"It's okay... I just... I'm so sorry," you answered.

When you turned to him, something happened. You didn't know why but somehow you understood him. He wasn't just a man with a hard past. He wasn't someone you had to fix. He was just Loki. Misunderstood and underloved Loki.

And that's when you kissed him. It wasn't out of pity or sympathy. It was out of wanting. You wanted to kiss him because you understood him. When your lips met you could feel his surprise and then his acceptance. It was a gentle, soft kiss that lasted only a few moments.

Nothing more was said or done. You laid back down and let him wrap himself around you again. With him against your back, you started to wonder how things could have changed so quickly. You were not the same Netflix marathoning girl you had been a week ago.

You nestled closer to Loki, wondering between drifting to sleep, what would happen to you now.


	8. Chapter 8

You jolted awake when you heard him. Thick, guttural screams that could pull even the deepest sleeper back to reality. You sat up and looked around for the source of the noise. You looked beside you and almost screamed yourself. For a moment you had forgotten that you stayed with Loki last night. Now you watched as the man you often feared was fearing something in his subconscious. Loki was thrashing and moaning, whipping his arms and legs around frantically trying to grab at something.

"... SAVE YOU," you heard him yell between the incoherent mumbles.

You sat still for a moment. Should you wake him? It seemed like he might hurt himself if you didn't. You timed your hand in between his flailing and gently touched his arm.

"Loki," you said softly.

He kept groping and screaming so you grabbed his arm harder.

"Loki!" you repeated louder this time.

Loki sat up faster than you could blink, huffing and wheezing. His hands went to his head and he scrambled backwards to rest against the headboard. He seemed to be awake but he did not look at you. He kept his eyes fixed on the blanket in a look of fear. This was a remarkable moment for you. For so long you had been the one with that expression, and now to see it on him... it felt unnatural.

"Loki?" you tried.

He did not turn to you and instead looked away.

"What did you dream about?" you asked carefully.

"Nothing. Go away," he said, still not looking at you.

You frowned. You knew that not talking about things like this led to bad things. You had found that out the hard way when your mother passed away.

"It's not going to go away by ignoring it," you said, getting up off the bed. You hoped giving him some literal space might help. Sure enough, he started speaking once you had turned away.

"I was... in the Grand Hall... trying to... save her," he answered after a moment.

You nodded, looking at him with sympathy. You had had the same dreams about saving your mother.

"It never changes. It just repeats over and over the same thing," you said, almost to yourself.

This is when he looked at you inquisitively.

"I had the same thing after mine," you answered his gaze.

"It never changes?" he repeated.

You shook your head.

"But after a while, if you talk about it, they don't come as often."

Loki considered this for a moment and then looked at the rumpled sheets beside him.

"This will not happen again," he said, gesturing to the sheets. He said the words but it did not sound as though he had convinced himself.

"Fine with me," you said, feeling a little hurt anyway.

Loki rose from bed, and you swallowed hard. You had a hard time telling yourself you weren't attracted to that naked toned chest of his, or his wild bed head. You let yourself watch him for a moment. He seemed lost in thought again as he paced the room.

"I just keep replaying it every time I shut my eyes," he murmured.

He walked past a pile of books. On his way back he kicked them, sending the hardbacks flying. You jumped, unprepared for the outburst. He didn't notice and instead walked over to the stone wall. When he punched it you shrieked and that seemed to pull him back from wherever his mind had gone more than the pain of hitting his fist on stone.

You looked at his bloodied hand in surprise. He looked down at it as well, unphased. This self destructive path would not do well for him or you.

"Alright, that's it," you decided. "Get dressed. We're going out."

"Excuse me?" Loki said angrily. He stalked towards you but you held your ground. "You cannot tell me what to do."

You watched his chest expand with breath and sighed inwardly. His green eyes burned with intensity and you could swear the corner of his mouth was turned up just so slightly.

"I just did," you said, turning your back. Perhaps not the smartest idea. "Your destruction can be channeled another way," you mumbled, going towards your room.

Suddenly you felt his hands on either sides of you hips. His chest ghosted against your back and you could feel his breath on your ear. You forced yourself not to shudder.

"That was a very bold chance you took," he whispered. "Do not make me regret submitting."

At that last word you felt yourself tingle. Loki, submissive to you? You took a breath and tried to maintain your confidence.

"Less talk, more walk," you said, shaking him off and walking to your room.

Once you were changed and had your hair in decent shape you returned to his room to see that Loki had indeed dressed.

"Come on," you said. You watched him debate something with himself but he followed you.

You first brought him to the kitchen for breakfast. Raya watched him with a careful eye but you just smiled at her. You fed Loki and yourself and then left the kitchen in favor of going outside. You realized you didn't really have a plan but you couldn't tell him that. You hadn't had an opportunity to walk the grounds but as soon as you made your way down the main path, you got an idea. There was a pond not too far from where you stood.

"This way," you motioned to Loki.

He was standing slightly behind you and when you turned your gaze back to the pond you gasped, not knowing that he was going to grab your hand until you felt it. At first you objected mentally. This was not your intention. Somehow after last night though, things had changed. There were things you had shared, things he had shared... and now, somehow, there was a strange intimacy between you. You hadn't realized how much stress you'd been carrying in your shoulders until he'd grabbed your hand. Once his was entwined with yours, you felt... safer. You felt the stress melt away. You were still carrying so much from the previous night, and somehow Loki helped share the burden. You assumed it was the same for him, otherwise why would he do this?

And so you walked, hand in hand with Loki towards the large pond. As you approached, it seemed more like a lake. The grounds were nearly deserted at this hour. The sky was very cloudy, but you paid no mind as you made your way to the shore. Just as you'd hoped, the bank was full of rocks. Perfect for skipping.

"Find some flat rocks," you told Loki.

He let go of your hand and you immediately felt the difference in your comfort level. He simply nodded and went to work, searching the ground.

When he had found a few he presented them to you. You were sure he had never skipped rocks before. That probably wasn't something princes did.

"Okay, so like this," you threw the rock and it skipped three times before sinking. "Just throw it like that but with all the frustration you feel."

Loki eyed you warily.

"That's idiotic," he said flatly.

"Just try it," you offered.

He considered the rocks in his hand for a moment and picked one. He flipped it in his hand once and then chucked it out into the lake. You didn't even see where it landed he threw it so far. He seemed to enjoy the feeling. You didn't want to correct him and say he had to skip the rocks like you did. Whatever floated his boat worked for you. Loki chucked another rock even farther, this time grunting a little. You saw a smile start to form on his lips.

"Not bad," he murmured.

You smiled, glad to have helped a little, and skipped another rock. He noticed this time that you were throwing differently than him and he tried to mimic you. He was not successful.

"No, like this," you offered.

You stepped in front of him and lined him up behind you so that your back was to his chest. You made his hand rest on yours so he could see how your wrist flicked when you tossed the rock. Again the physical contact was worryingly comforting. You moved your hand with his into the motion.

"Ah," he said very close to your ear. "I see."

After lingering a moment he stepped back from you to try it out. This time he skipped the rock four times.

"Beat that," he challenged.

You rolled up your sleeves and chucked another rock. Four. Only tied. You tried again and he did as well. The morning went on like that for some time until you had beaten him seven to six. By the end of the morning you both had smiles on your face. Once you thought that Loki would look strange or unfamiliar with a smile like that, but right now it seemed to be exactly what you both needed.

"Brother!" you heard a voice bellow from the path.

You both turned to see Thor standing there, looking down at you. It was as if some kind of a spell had been broken. Suddenly the reality of your situation came back to you. Frigga was dead, you were both mourning. The fun you'd had became somewhat tainted and you stepped back from Loki as Thor descended onto the shore.

"Thor," Loki greeted. It seemed colder than necessary to you.

"Father would like to see you in his room," Thor reported.

Loki nodded slowly, looking at the last rock in his hand. He turned with a glance at you and skipped the stone seven times. He smirked slightly and turned back to Thor. With a an acknowledging nod to Thor, he stepped past him and made his way onto the path. You were about to follow when Thor stopped you.

"May I have a moment?" he asked. You glanced at Loki who nodded and left the two of you alone.

"What is it?" you asked.

Thor turned to make sure that Loki was out of hearing distance before continuing.

"I was watching the two of you for some time," Thor admitted.

You shifted uncomfortably. Was he going to reprimand you for this?

"I... I've never see someone handle my brother that way before," he said slowly, calculating his words.

You were thrown off guard. Handle him? All you had done was try to protect yourself by getting him to vent his rage somewhere else.

"I didn't do anything," you shrugged.

Thor watched you carefully.

"You've only been here a short time... But you must know that you are... different to him. He cares for you, I think," Thor said.

You blinked rapidly, trying to comprehend this analysis.

"Cares for me?" you nearly scoffed. "I don't think so. If anything he's annoyed by me."

Thor laughed a little.

"Loki does not _let_ people annoy him. You are unique," Thor said seriously.

You considered all the things you'd said to him, the bed you'd shared, and the kiss...

"I'm afraid..." you started. Thor listened closely. "I don't... I'm not sure what's happening here," you admitted.

"All I know is that the Loki I knew before you came here would have destroyed half the palace and a small village because of what happened yesterday... Somehow you prevented that."

Your mind processed this. He was probably right. Maybe your little fireside chat with Loki last night and your rock excursion this morning had done more good than you thought. Suddenly your mind flicked back to the reason why he was sad.

"How are you dealing with it?" you asked sincerely.

Thor gave you a sad smile.

"It was the saddest day of my life," he said. "But you must not dwell on such dark thoughts. Keep moving forward," he added.

You gave a grim nod, knowing that Loki would most definitely dwell.

"That is all," Thor said after a moment. "Thank you."

"Of course," you said and curtsied.

You left Thor and walked slowly back towards the palace. You took your time but eventually ended up in your room. You spent most of the day in your room, leaving to get lunch. You didn't see Loki all day. That evening you heard a knock on your door. Curious, you got up and opened it. Loki was standing outside your door with his hands behind his back looking almost sheepish.

"Hi," you said awkwardly.

Loki looked at you for a moment before speaking.

"Hello... I um, have this," he brought a book out from behind his back. It had a gorgeous green cover and a good amount of pages. "I was wondering... if you would read it and we could..."

"Discuss?" you guessed. He nodded, not quite meeting your eyes.

"If you think you could handle it," he recovered quickly, trying to sound pretentious.

You rolled your eyes and saw him smirk.

"I'll be done by tomorrow night," you boasted.

Loki raised his eyebrows in surprise. You simply smirked, sure that you could read this in one day and night no problem. He could have left with that but he stayed. After a pause he spoke slowly.

"I... wanted to... thank you. For today. It was.... cathartic, I think."

"Sure," you answered awkwardly. "And... I mean any time you want to talk... I've been through it you know."

This air between you was strange. When had you decided to become Loki's confidant? When had he let you? You were going to say goodnight and leave it at that but Loki leaned in. He kissed you lightly on your cheek and you stood with wide eyes. You were not expecting that.

"Good night," he said softly.

You croaked out a goodnight and closed the door. You undressed as it was still very warm in your room, finding your bra and panties quite comfortable to lounge in. Walking stiffly over to your bed you began to think. What was it that had changed so quickly between you too? He had once threatened you physically and now he was kissing you on the cheek? You thought back to Thor's comments. Perhaps there was something about you that Loki responded to. You certainly shared a few things in common with him and now that you were helping him with his mother's death... it seemed he was forming some kind of attachment to you. You didn't know if this was good or not. Could you ever be friends... or more... with someone like him? What was he like? Perhaps if he was not violent... if he learned how to control his anger... you thought maybe...

Before you could think it through anymore there was another hesitant knock on your door.

"Yes?" you asked, forgetting about your state of undress.

Loki opened the door just enough to peak his head in. You suddenly became aware of your near naked status, but pretended not to notice when his eyes traced the lines of your body.

"Sleep next to me tonight," he said in a demanding voice.

You cocked an eyebrow.

"Please," he added. After this he looked at you with such sadness that your heart melted a little. He had already dressed, or undressed as it were, for bed.

"As you wish," you played along. You hopped out of bed and he held the door open as you walked past him.

Your heart beat a little faster as you crawled into his bed. You laid on your side and did not watch as he walked around to the other side. You felt the bed give in as he laid down. Soon you felt his body against yours. He snuggled up behind you and you felt both relaxed and excited at the same time. His bare chest against your nearly bare back was tantalizing. His arm wrapped around your stomach and pulled you close to him. You felt his breath on your neck as he sighed, content.

You found yourself very comfortable. Gone were your thoughts of reading the book tonight. Instead you focused on Loki's body pressed against yours. Again you asked yourself when had you come to enjoy this? Perhaps it had been when he stopped treating you like a servant, and more like an assistant or even friend. Yes, you thought. If he treated you like an equal... this might be okay. You might be able to get used to this... possibly even want more. You debated back and forth for a long while before you fell asleep. Loki, who would not have slept were it not for you, fell into a peaceful sleep, hugging you tightly all through the night.


	9. Chapter 9

For a moment you thought it was Loki have a night terror again. When you woke this time to a noise, it took you a few moments to note Loki's calm, sleeping form beside you. He was not the source of the noise so what was? When it happened again you recoiled in fright.

Thunder.

You had always been afraid of storms and now, especially in a foreign world, it was even scarier. You jumped again as a loud BANG echoed and rattled the windows. You pulled the covers up and over your eyes, shaking. Detecting your sudden movements, Loki woke up and stared warily at you.

"What is it?" he asked in a sleepy, slightly annoyed voice.

You felt foolish but you couldn't help your irrational fears.

"The storm," you answered shakily.

You could almost feel Loki roll his eyes from underneath the covers. You felt his hand move and the blanket fell down below your eyes. You couldn't help that you were still shaking in fear. Loki looked down at you with an expression that you read as _really?_

"It's just my brother," he said with a huff and plopped down to lay on his back. Until this he had been right up behind you. His absence from your body felt odd, unnatural.

"What?" you asked, dumbfounded. You sat up to look at him. He had both hands behind his head now and was looking quite pleased with himself, as though he had some wonderful secret.

"My brother. He is the God of Thunder," Loki spoke as if he had said his brother were an employee at iHop.

The thought was not computing. Thor? A God... of Thunder?

"So that's him... outside?" you asked, pointing to the terrifying storm. Someone so nice, like sunshine, was making that?

"Mmhm," Loki said, studying the canopy above him.

Somehow the thought did not sooth you.

"He's just regulating the atmosphere," Loki added nonchalantly.

Right, the atmosphere. BANG. You shuddered again and Loki looked over at you. You didn't see as his brows furrowed with concern. BANG. You flung the covers over your head again. You felt silly fearing something that definitely could not hurt you while you laid in bed half naked with someone who definitely could.

Under the covers you heard Loki sigh. Soon you felt a cool hand press against your back. Loki submerged himself under the covers with you. In the dim light you could just see his eyes. They watched you carefully. Loki guided you back down and you laid on your side facing him. He took your hand in his and simply held it. Your bodies were almost touching but not quite. You laid your head down on the pillow, your face only inches from him.

"It can't hurt you," Loki said, as if explaining thunder to a child.

"I know," you almost laughed. "I just--"

BANG.

You nearly shrieked and Loki pulled you to his chest. You buried your face in his chest and he stroked your back. Since when did Loki comfort you? you asked yourself between thunder strikes. You flashed back to the night where you had comforted him. Perhaps he was growing. Perhaps he actually did care about you as Thor suggested.

You stayed like that for some time together - him stroking your back, you nestled up against him. His scent was all around you. It was a sort of mixture of mint and something you could not identify. Somewhere between then and dawn you fell asleep.

When you woke up, you rolled over. Loki was already awake and staring at you. How long had be been watching you? He did not seem alarmed that you had caught him.

"Were you watching me sleep?" you asked.

"Yes," he replied easily. He slipped out of bed and grabbed the book he wanted you to read. "I was waiting."

He extended the book to you and you almost laughed. He was waiting for you to wake up so you could read.

"Shouldn't I be fetching your breakfast or something?" you half joked.

Loki considered this for a moment, but he still held out the book so you took it.

"This is more important,"  he decided.

Your stomach growled loudly and you blushed.

"I will call someone to bring us food," he added, smirking.

You nodded your thanks and sat up, resting against the headboard. You opened the book and began to read. Once you were a chapter in, food arrived. You barely took your eyes off the text to feed yourself. Already it was so enticing.

All through the day you read, vaguely aware of Loki's passing stares as he alternated between pacing and reading.

By noon you were half way through the book. You took a break for lunch but picked up again. It was such a luxury to have the whole day to read. It was something you hadn't done in a long time, even before you came here. The book was a page turner and by dinner you had finished. Your eyes were exhausted but it had been worth it.

Once you finished the last page, you looked up to see Loki sitting on the edge of the bed, staring at you.

"Well?" he asked impatiently.

"Give me a minute to digest," you said.

He got up in a huff and paced the room. You watched with mild amusement. You thought for a moment and gathered your opinions.

"Alright," you said finally.

Loki nearly sprinted back to the bed. He sat close to you and waited for your opinion.

The conversation that followed was the most intellectually stimulating, in depth discussion you'd ever had. Loki had had more time to consider the text than you, but you held your own, contradicting his opinions as well as agreeing with them. You talked for hours, far past midnight. It seemed you would go on and on. You had never experienced something like this before. You remembered the people back home. Sure,  you had some friends, but none you connected to deeply. None that could hold a conversation with you for more than an hour without getting bored. It was so strange to be able to talk to someone about something so interesting to you for so long. And by the end, you weren't just discussing that book, but dozens of literary tropes and themes. You had come from different worlds and therefore different books, but apparently the big themes spanned both worlds and you lost yourself in the deep examination of literature's greatest elements.

By the end of the night you had nearly lost your voice. You had both exhausted yourselves. Neither of you were used to this length of conversation. You thought about your day and how Loki had let you skip on your duties to read. You realized how badly he had wanted a companion. And, if you were honest with yourself, you had wanted one too. Loki spoke so eloquently and so passionately it was impossible not to respond in kind.

The words flew so fast between you, it surprised you when Loki's lips interrupted the end of your sentence with a kiss. At first you pulled away slightly. But after a moment, you felt the way your body responded to him. You kissed him back without thinking. It felt... good. Different than the first time. It was more passionate, filled with the vigor of your conversation. You let his tongue slide into your mouth. It was almost easy not to think of anything as he kissed you. He tasted divine and you like the feeling of his fingers on your neck.

His fingers on your neck.

That sparked a memory. Loki's hands around your throat. This man had kidnapped you. Abducted you. And you were _kissing_ him.

You pulled away suddenly, horrified.

"What's wrong?" he asked, looking slightly dazed.

"You... This isn't right... You abducted me," you breathed.

Loki looked almost annoyed again but he said nothing.

"I can't... You took me from my home."

"I thought you were starting to like it here," he said, looking hurt.

Why did it bother you so much that he looked hurt?

"I... I don't know. Yes? Maybe? But you took me from my _home_ , Loki. My home."

Loki stared at you for a long time, having an internal debate that you were not privy to. Finally he spoke and the words were completely unexpected.

"Would you like to go back?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the cliff hanger :) I'll update soon, I promise!


	10. Chapter 10

_"Would you like to go back?"_

A question you never thought you'd hear from Loki's lips. And yet... here you were, in bed with him, watching his lips utter those exact words. Your first instinct was to scream yes and jump for joy. You did not expect that smaller voice underneath it whispering _maybe not._

Loki was looking at you expectantly. You could sense the desperation for an answer. You couldn't ignore that little voice in your head as many of your better decisions in life had been made because of it. 

"I... don't know," you answered truthfully.

Loki did not smile, nor did he frown. Instead, his eyes dropped to the sheets and he began stroking the back of your hand. This distracted you from thinking straight. Did you want to stay here? What did you have that was so interesting or important on earth? Back home you didn't have many friends, at least none that you connected at the same level as Loki with. You had a lame job and spent most of your time reading and watching fantasy or sci-fi stuff. Here, in Asgard, you were literally in one of those worlds. There was magic here, something you had always been drawn to but never privy to on earth. And of course there was Loki...

You watched the man before you as he waited for a definite answer. There was so much about him you didn't know. So much about him that scared you. And yet... it was sort of like skydiving or something. It seemed dangerous, but it might be the most important thing you experienced in your life and you wouldn't know until you did it. Loki shared a passion with you that was part of your very soul. No man or woman you had ever met shared that with you and for some reason that stuck in your mind. You thought about earth and all the things you wouldn't miss. There was a lot about Asgard you didn't know either, but at least here anything was possible. Back home you were stuck living vicariously through fictional characters.

As you reasoned more and more that small voice became louder. Even if you did not end up with Loki the way your heart was leaning towards without your head's approval, you would still be in a more interesting place than anywhere in your realm. Still, this would be an opportune time to see how Loki truly felt about you.

"I think maybe," you said, waiting for his eyes to meet yours. "That... I would like to stay here."

The corners of his mouth turned up slightly but he was careful not to reveal too much.

"Maybe?" he asked smoothly. He kept stroking your hand and inching forward to be closer to you.

"Well," you said, trying to keep the smile off your face. If he truly was the God of Mischief, he would be able to see the game you were about to play. Nonetheless, you continued. "I would need to know a few things first."

He nodded slowly, waiting for you to name your terms.

"I need to know that I won't be your servant," you said seriously. "I will help you out as a friend or assistant, but I will not be below you."

Loki opened his mouth as if to object but you held up a finger.

"That is non-negotiable. Second, I will need to stop by my place back on earth and pick up a few things."

"Things?" Loki asked.

"Well... namely my cat," you admitted sheepishly.

Loki looked confused. Did they not have cats here?

"My pet," you clarified.

Loki nodded slowly, although you weren't sure if it was understanding or consent.

"And lastly... I need to know..." you hated to finish the sentence like this but you had no other means of asking. "If you _want_ me to stay."

You bit your lip and were tempted to close your eyes, not ready to face the humiliation Loki would probably bring down around you.

He was silent for a long time, staring at you.

"Okay," he said finally. Okay?

"Okay what?"

"Okay, you may have a higher status than my servant - you can be my personal guest," he began. "And I will take you back home to collect whatever you need."

You held your breath waiting for the answer you truly cared about. It seemed like an eternity before he answered.

"And... I would like you to stay."

That was all? He would like you to stay? No. You needed more.

"Why?" you tried.

"Why?" he asked, as if it should be obvious. It was not.

"Yeah, why do you want me to stay?" you asked. "When I first came here you hated me. You threatened me. Why have you suddenly changed your mind?"

Loki immediately go up and walked away from you. You felt your heart drop and you regretted asking, even though you longed to know for the answer. Perhaps he did not want you to stay as much as you wanted him to.

You saw him take a deep breath and turn to you.

"I did not hate you," he said angrily. "I told you, I chose you because you were not afraid of me. And since then you've just proven what I'd assumed."

"What's that?" you asked quietly.

"That you're different," Loki answered almost indifferently. "You have a mind of your own and you intend to use it towards things that matter. You would rather discuss important works of art than battle strategies for example. Do you know how many dinners I've had to sit through identical to the one you witnessed?"

You shook your head.

"Countless," he sounded tired. "And when you came here... everything changed. Suddenly, I was interested in another person. You defied me - something no one does. You intrigued me - also something no one does. And... you cared about me," he didn't have to repeat the sentiment... it was also something no one did.

"I... I--" you stammered. You were unaware that Loki had seen all the things you'd felt for him. He intrigued you, interested you, and cared for you in a way that no one else had.

He quickly walked back over to the bed and sat before you.

"And I realize that I was harsh with you in the beginning... and I'm not promising I won't ever be again... Because... It's how I am," he said, defeated.

"I'm not expecting you to change who you are," you said. "I just... I'm scared of you sometimes."

Loki nodded like he'd heard that a thousand times.

"I'm scared of me too," he said under his breath.

You couldn't help but pull his chin up with your finger. Once his eyes met yours, your lips collided. It was a desperate kiss. You tried to suck all of that self-hatred out of him. You knew what that was like and you didn't want it corrupting such an intelligent, thoughtful being. You ran your tongue along his lower lip and he moaned into your mouth. You felt his hand move to the back of your neck, pulling you closer to him. It seemed like forever before you both pulled away, gasping for air.

You leaned your forehead against his and sighed.

"Is this where we're headed?" you asked, gently kissing his lips again.

"I do hope so," he said with a small smile.

Your heart lept a little in spite of yourself. Was this truly what you wanted? This man was dangerous right? And yet you thought back to the discussions you'd had with him. He may have anger issues but underneath it all... he was very smart, very sensitive. And the way your body responded to his touch... it was as if you had fireworks exploding in every cell of your skin.

"When would you like to return home?" he asked gently, smoothing your hair behind your ear.

"My cat will have been without me for some time, so as soon as possible," you smiled. "You'll like her," you added for good measure.

Loki looked unsure but did not protest.

"Get dressed," he said suddenly, rising from bed.

You guessed you were going now then.

You dressed quickly and walked with him through the palace. You encountered a bridge you had not seen before. It was remarkable. The entire thing seemed to be made of some kind of thick glass that glowed with beautiful colors. It had no railings so you clung to Loki's arm tightly, despite the bridge being wide enough for four cars to pass.

When you reached the end of the bridge you entered a giant golden dome. A man stood with a helmet similar to the one you'd seen Loki wear on your first day here. He was very tall with rich hazel eyes and chocolate skin.

"Heimdall," you heard Loki address the man.

Heimdall turned and assessed the Prince with mild interest.

"You wish to return this lady to her home?" he asked.

"And then return," Loki assured him.

Heimdall simply nodded and pressed a golden lever downwards. A giant portal opened up before you and you could have jumped with joy. A worm hole? How cool!

Loki smirked down at you, watching your obvious excitement.

"Let's go," he said simply before stepping into the hole.

It felt like the reverse of your abduction. You were being pushed through the tunnel, but this time you did not flail. Loki apparently had mastered the art of steering himself through the hole. You landed in your kitchen and he caught you before you could fall on your face.

Being back home was surreal. The smell of your house calmed you and before you could even turn around, you heard Ginny meow. Smiling, you ran to her and picked her up. You cradled her in your arms and kissed her while Loki watched, flabbergasted.

"This is Ginny," you said, bringing her over to Loki.

He stood back and watched as a small hairy creature approached him. Ginny just purred and nuzzled against his arm. Reluctantly he pet her head and smiled.

"This is what you wish to bring back with you?" he asked.

"Yes please," you said happily.

He assessed you and your cat for a moment before nodding.

"Fine," he said, seemingly unphased.

You clutched Ginny happily, wondering how she would take to the new world. She kept wriggling in your arms, trying to get closer to Loki. You handed her to him, telling him you had to write a note. 

You hadn't much family, or any that you talked to regularly anyway. Any friends you had were mere acquaintances. You decided to leave a note on the kitchen table saying you'd gone traveling. Let the people on earth figure stuff out while you went away to a magical world.

You returned to find Loki staring adoringly at the cat, his expression quickly taking on a look of mild annoyance once he saw you had come back. He handed Ginny back to you.

"Ready?" he asked.

You glanced around your apartment one last time. Were you ready to leave this all behind? Were you ready to have a once in a lifetime opportunity to live in a fantasy world with a handsome prince and your cat?

"Yes," you replied.

Loki nodded and made some motion with his hands that conjured the worm hole back to you. You stepped through and were surrounded by colors. Ginny meowed quietly and you hugged her close. Soon enough you were back in Asgard with your prince, your cat, and a whole new lease on life.


	11. Chapter 11

Although having Ginny with you was a comfort, is was also a hilarious scene. The cat would not stop bothering Loki. Loki pretended to be annoyed but you thought he secretly like it. Ginny looked out of place, but she certainly didn’t act like it. She made herself at home quickly right on top of Loki’s pillow. You giggled and received a glare from Loki.

“She’ll be fine,” you said laughing.

“It’s not her I worry about,” he said, tentatively picking Ginny up and placing her next to the pillow.   
For a moment you thought he meant himself, but then it hit you. He was talking about you. You walked around the bed and stood next to him.

“We will all be fine,” you assured him.

He gave you a thin-lipped grimace and a tight nod. Not exactly reassuring. You weren’t sure if he had doubts about you or him.

Somehow the day passed quickly. You spent it mostly snuggling with Ginny and reading. Loki did the same, although he seemed to try his best to look annoyed when Ginny chose to plop onto his lap for a while. Once in a while you’d glance up and find him smiling and petting her, but as soon as he sensed you looking, he’d turn away.

It was almost surreal. Loki, with your cat, reading with you. Never in a million years would you have guess that this was how your abduction would have turned out.

The night came, and with it, you realized how tired you were. You stripped down to your underwear and slid under the covers. Loki did the same, wasting no time in snuggling up behind you and wrapping you in his arms.

It was strange how much this felt like home now. It was so… domestic. You couldn’t argue with yourself anymore though. Whatever faults he may have, your heart had decided. Loki made you feel… dare you think it?... loved. He connected with you in a way no one else did. You never thought you’d turn into Belle, but here you were, sleeping next to the Beast.

Ginny made her bed at the bottom of your bed. She fell asleep, softly purring, the sound lulling you and Loki into slumber.

It felt like forever since you’d had a good night sleep, and it was going to continue to feel that way. In the early hours of the morning Loki started thrashing. You sat up quickly and noticed how much he was moving. You tried to calm him with your touch and it seemed to work. He was very sweaty and it took him a long time to open his eyes. It must have been truly intense. He looked up at you with those bright green eyes, at first frightened, but then calmed. You wondered what he would do if you were not here.  


He took your hand and pressed his lips to the back of it.

“Do you want to talk about it?” you offered. 

Loki sat up and thought. He threw the covers off of him. 

“I was running,” he began. “I saw my mother at the end of a hallway and I couldn’t run any faster.. she… she was killed… again.”

Your face fell and you brushed his hair behind his ear.

“I thought you said it would not be so often,” he sounded truly pathetic.

“Eventually,” you murmured, sure that wouldn’t help.

“I need to shower,” Loki said suddenly, looking down at his sweaty body.

He slowly got up and walked over towards the bathroom.

“Will you join me?” he asked.

He didn’t seem to be asking for anything sexual at the moment. His eyes were full of pain and sorrow from his dream. You thought that he just wanted company… that he didn’t want to be alone. You nodded solemnly and got up off of the bed. He extended his hand to you and you took it, following him into the bathroom.

You hadn’t noticed the shower in the corner of the room until he walked over to it, passing the tub. It was a fairly large shower with glass doors and marble walls. The shower head was some kind of natural plant looking spout on the farthest wall. Loki waved his hand near the spout and water sprang from it. You could tell from the steam that it was already hot.

Loki removed his underwear and flung it away on the floor before stepping in. You had seen him naked once before, and your memory had not lied to you. He was extremely attractive all over, including his manhood. You blushed and turned away, suddenly self conscious.

“Are you coming, little one?” he asked softly.

You turned to him, surprised at the pet name. He watched your face, measuring your reaction to it. You smiled slightly and nodded. You watched Loki’s hair begin to wet and you unhooked your bra. He watched you with interest as you let it fall to the floor, revealing your breasts. His gaze followed your hands as you rid yourself of your panties. He eyed you with intensity, but you didn’t feel as though he were going to take you right then and there. It almost reminded you of someone looking at a work of art.

You stepped into the shower and closed the door behind you. Suddenly it felt very intimate. You were in a confined space, naked, with Loki.

You grabbed what looked to be shampoo and dabbed some into your hand. You gestured to Loki and he bent down so you could lather it in his hair. He hummed in what you presumed to be content as you massaged his head. After rinsing, you grabbed what looked to be body wash. Again you lathered it in your hands. Sweeping along his shoulders, you covered every inch of the top of him. Because of his hums of approval, you felt bold. You went down on your knees and washed him everywhere below the waist.

Once you had rinsed him, you put the soap aside and stood up. You looked at him and still saw sadness in his eyes. You saw all the pain that had weighed him down. You wanted to do something for him, something that would make him feel good.

You let your hand wander down his chest. Slowly, experimentally, you began to stroke his long cock. You could feel him almost tense at the unexpected touch, but soon, as you hoped, he relaxed. He kissed you. The water ran between your lips and enhanced the tingling sensations. Your tongues darted out and danced with each other as you began stroking him. He was hard in your hand and you didn’t stop. He kissed you fiercely and moaned into your mouth as you continued stroking him. Once you couldn’t go any faster, you gave one final stroke and felt him come. The water in the shower quickly washed it away and you felt Loki bite your lip gently. He seemed to be smiling and you couldn’t help but be proud of your work.

“Fuck,” he muttered between kisses. “That was…”

His hands trailed down your shoulders and slid across your waist. You weren’t expecting this. You didn’t plan on reciprocation. You tensed at first, not sure what he was going to do. His hand slid down to your folds and started playing with your clit. You gasped but he didn’t stop kissing you. Again his kiss became heated and powerful. His fingers alternated pressure from hard to soft in slow circles that drove you crazy. He turned you around so you were against the wall and pressed against you. You tangled your fingers in his hair and bit his lip softly. His fingers dipped into your slit and you felt him inside you. He began pumping in and out while his thumb stayed on your clit. You moaned into his mouth. You could feel the tension building and it exploded once he curled his fingers inside you. You were glad he pushed you against the wall because you weren’t sure you could stand on your own right now. As your orgasm rocketed through you, you grabbed onto him. He rubbed you until you came down, letting you ride it out.

He kissed you lazily and you could swear the only thing supporting you was Loki’s body and the wall. You couldn’t trust your legs for some time and it seemed you wouldn’t have to. Loki kept his body pressed against yours for a long time. You looked at him carefully in the water. Now he seemed more relaxed… happy even. 

He backed away then and turned off the water. You followed him out of the shower and dried off. Neither of you bothered putting on any clothes before returning to bed. The sun had still not risen and you reckoned you could get a few more hours of sleep. You and Loki slipped into bed together and assumed your now regular sleeping position. 

Somehow you felt even closer to him after this. It was a shared intimacy that you had not experienced before with anyone. You had little time to contemplate how far you had come with him in such a small amount of time before you fell asleep in his arms again.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it's so short but I'm lacking inspiration and time at the moment. also sorry for the semi cliff hanger. even I don't know what's going to happen yet.

You had to give one benefit to your recent antics, you didn't have to serve Loki at the crack of dawn anymore. A week or so after you brought Ginny back, Loki had forbidden you to serve him like you used to. Instead, you often did things together. In the mornings you'd head down to the kitchen. At first the kitchen servants were wary - they didn't understand why Loki was suddenly lurking around everywhere. However, it seemed to calm them that you were with him. It also probably helped that you made him smile - something that humanized him to them.

You started reading more of Loki's recommendations and having all-night chats about them. He was seriously the most stimulating conversation you'd ever had. Your passion was finally matched if not exceeded by someone and it was lovely.

Strangers in the palace looked at you differently. Although you kept your public displays limited, people could still tell that you were not just a servant and a prince. The way Loki's gaze lingered on you, the way he ghosted his hand near the small of your back before remembering both your statuses... people noticed. Most of all, apparently, Thor.

One day when you were strolling in the palace with Loki, Thor approached you. He waited until Loki was stopped by some noble and pulled you aside.

"Um, hi," you said at the rather abrupt pull of your arm. Thor had gently pulled you behind a corner. "What's up?" you tried.

Thor was smiling and you weren't sure why.

"He's happy," was all he gave you.

"What?" you asked. There was no context for this.

"Loki. He is happy for once."

You peeked around the corner at your prince. His posture was perfect as always and he was listening intently to the man that was speaking to him. You shrugged.

"No, you don't understand," Thor insisted. "I can tell... Listen, I thought after our mother... he would be a mess. But with you he seems... okay. What's your secret?"

"Oh... I, um, I don't know. I just..." you couldn't think of a good way to phrase your relationship. "I'm just there for him I guess."

"Well, I've tried that and he wouldn't let me be. You're different."

You went to say thank you or refute that you were special but he kept talking.

"I've never seen him act this way with anyone. I've been watching you these past few days. I just... wanted to thank you. I've always wanted happiness for my brother."

You gulped. What would happen if you couldn't _keep_ him happy? Suddenly a figure appeared at Thor's side. Loki. He was smiling tightly at the two of you hidden away in the corner. You moved to stand next to him and his eyes followed you.

"What do we have here?" he asked coolly.

"I was just asking this young lady about her secret," Thor jested.

"Secret?" Loki repeated, intrigued.

Thor gave a mischievous smile and walked away. Loki turned to you with intent. He raised an eyebrow. You shrugged.

"Thor thinks I have magical powers," you said.

"Power?" Loki repeated, starting to smile.

"He seems to think I have some kind of way... of making you happier," you looked at the ground, not wanting to see his face if it were untrue to him.

Suddenly you heard Loki chuckle lowly and his finger lifted your chin.

"Sorceress indeed," he whispered before kissing your lips.

You nearly melted at the combination of his voice and lips. Your knees felt weak and your head spun.

"Loki!" you heard a low voice yell.

Loki quickly pulled away to look towards the voice. Odin was storming towards the two of you. Loki moved in front of you, sweeping you behind him with your arm. You punched him lightly. You could defend yourself. He didn't budge though, and soon Odin was standing in front of him, glaring daggers at you.

"With me," Odin demanded. Loki rolled his eyes and followed his father, motioning for you to stay there.

You bit your nails in a sudden anxiety. What would Odin want with Loki. It had to be about the two of you, he just saw you kissing. You figured this royal family probably worked similarly to that of earth where royals were not to associate with those below them. Were you below him? You weren't even from this planet, how could they tell? You brain worked itself in circles and got nowhere. In the end you decided to return to Loki's room. You read and ate throughout the day and Loki did not return while the sun was up.

Once the moon was high in the sky, you heard the door open slowly. Loki walked in with slumped shoulders and a weary face. You walked over to him cautiously.

"What is it?" you asked. "Did I get you in trouble?"

Loki gave a tight-lipped smile and shook his head.

"Odin doesn't... care?" you asked. "Then what was it about?"

Loki looked extremely pale and had seemingly aged while he was away.

"Something far worse," was all he said.


	13. Chapter 13

Your body felt as though you'd taken an ice bath. _Something far worse?_ What could that be? You stepped forward, going to hug Loki, but something stopped you. He was standing defensively, as if he wanted nothing to do with you.

"What is it?" you asked carefully.

Loki walked over to the window and looked out. You stayed where you were. You felt vibes from him that read _stay away_ and you weren't about to ignore them. Loki spoke carefully, measuring each word.

"Apparently the men who killed my mother were part of a larger organization. It was not an isolated attack. It was part of a plan."

"A plan? For what?" you asked quietly.

"Our sources in the villages have found out that there is a small rebel group. It's been forming over the past few years. People who aren't happy with the way Odin runs things. The sources told us that Frigga was only part of the first phase of their plan. Apparently," he sighed, "They wish to deeply wound all the royal men emotionally, and then kill us."

The detached way in which he spoke made it difficult for you to immediately grasp the gravity of the situation. These men wanted the royal family to suffer and then they would kill them. Sadistic.

"They want to hurt you emotionally?" you repeated.

"Yes. Apparently they've recently located the action it would take to emotionally cripple us for the rest of our short lives."

"Frigga was--"

Loki nodded. Your heart sank. You hadn't realized how much the queen had meant to Odin. You suddenly felt a small amount of sympathy for him.

"So what are your and your brothers things? Surely we can protect them. Surely we can--"

"That will be all for tonight," Loki said abruptly.

You stood in shock, unsure what to say. You started walking towards his bed but his voice stopped you.

"I think it would be best if we spent the night seperate," he said, still facing the window.

For some reason that hurt more than you thought it might. You and Loki had no solid arrangement. You supposed he had the right to request the night to himself. But after this news, you just wanted to be with him, to comfort him. Yet here he was, turning you away.

You slunk quietly to your chambers and tried to sleep. You couldn't stop thinking about how cold Loki had been. Why the sudden change of heart? You could have helped him through this. Surely if he was being threatened, he might want some companionship and support? What would emotionally wound him anyway? He didn't seem attached to much. Would they burn down the library? You sat for a long time in your bed wondering how these men would hurt Loki before sleep finally took you.

When you awoke, you carefully made your way to Loki's room. The room, however, was deserted. There was no note, Loki was just gone. Again you felt that strange pang inside you. You felt abandoned. You shook your head. It was silly to feel that way. It wasn't as though you were married to the man. He didn't have to tell you where he was going all the time. And yet... it felt like a betrayal of some kind.

You decided to go to the library to get your mind off of things. All the way there you felt a presence, a stare. When you turned to look, every time, there was nothing. You read in the library for a while, still feeling eyes on you. When you left with a pile of books you decided to try something. You walked around a corner and stopped. A large man in military uniform walked by you, scanned the hallway and then turned to you. Once he saw you and you saw him, there was no denying it was him who had been following you.

"Can I help you?" you tried to sound casual.

The guard stiffened and looked around.

"No," he answered in a gruff voice.

"Why are you following me then?" you asked.

"Orders," was all he said.

"Orders? From whom?"

"I am not at liberty to say," he responded.

You scrutinized him for a while, trying to deduce something, but got nothing. Why would someone have you followed? Did they think you were in league with those evil men? You couldn't think of anything that would get rid of the guard so you had to keep going. It was a nice day outside and you thought that a walk outside might help. You walked a few feet ahead of your guard, checking now and then to see he was still there. He didn't try to hide anymore and in fact smirked every time you looked back. You weren't doing anything wrong so being followed couldn't really hurt you. Hopefully whoever had sent the guard would figure this out and you could go back to having time to yourself.

You were gazing at the trees that formed around the path with interest. They were beautiful, filled with strange markings that almost glowed. You were about to turn and ask the guard what they meant when you heard something behind you. It sounded like fighting.

Turning quickly, you nearly dropped your books. The guard was fighting a man with a sword. What should you do? Run and get help? Before you could even think about doing so, more guards came to help and the man was soon on his knees without his weapon. Two guards escorted him back down the path and towards the palace. The guard who had followed you stayed behind, breathing heavily.

You ran to him and helped him up.

"Are you okay? What was that?" you asked.

"I'm fine. And that... was the reason I was following you," he grunted, rubbing his shoulder.

You frowned, not understanding. That man was meant to attack you? Why? What would anyone here want with an Earth girl?


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the super short chapters, the story's coming along bit by bit though so I hope you like it :)

You felt a little dazed, as though you had hit your head. In reality, no one had touched you. The guard, for whatever bizarre reason, had saved you from a seemingly random attack. You held your arms around yourself, trying to keep it together. What was going on lately? Loki hadn't wanted you in his bed last night, something you still couldn't full rationalize, and now this? Something felt off.

You walked into the palace and spotted Loki walking towards you. He was holding a book and reading while walking. You smirked, remembering all the times you'd done that and tripped over things because you weren't looking. Loki walked and swerved to avoid servants and nobles alike, all without lifting his eyes from the words. You felt happier at the sight of him. You felt comforted despite the past night. You walked up to him with a smile.

"Loki," you greeted. You stepped towards the wall to let people pass by. It was a crowded hallway at the moment.

His eyes slowly lifted and appraised you like a piece of jewelery. He sneered at you.

"What do you want, servant?" he said with a biting voice.

You were taken aback. Servant? You were past all this. Like, way past it. Why was he saying this? He had never treated you like this, even in public since you had talked.

"Loki, it's me," you said, confused. You went to reach for his hand but he pulled away.

People were starting to notice your fight. Glances turned to stares as Loki became more angry.

"Don't touch me, servant!" Loki yelled as he yanked his hand away.

"What is going--"

"Away with you," Loki said, pushing your shoulder slightly. You fell against the wall and stood dumbstruck. You watched as he walked down the hall as if nothing had happened.

For a while you didn't move. Soon people lost interest and continued on their ways. It was as if your entire history with Loki had never happened. You rubbed your sore shoulder and glanced down the hallway. The guard was still following you. Your brain reeled trying to come up with some explanation but there was none.

You sulked back to your room and collapsed on your bed. Not long after that, you heard shouting coming from Loki's room. You couldn't make out words but there was Loki's voice and that of a stranger.

You thought you heard someone ask, "Where is she?" but you couldn't be sure. You heard heavy footsteps coming your way. The tingle that they sent up your spine told you to hide. They were not any sort of footsteps that would end with peaceful conversation. You scampered off your bed and into your bathroom, crouching down in the tub behind the shower curtain.

Three men burst into your room. You carefully peaked out of your hiding space to see two large, burly men and Loki. One was looking and one was holding Loki at knife point. You were impressed for a moment that someone could have ever gotten Loki at the wrong end of a knife. You watched in horror as the man searched your room.

"Where is she, don't make me ask again," he said, moving aside your pillows and blankets. The man holding Loki brought the knife closer to his throat.

"How would I know? She's just my servant," Loki said, sounding casual enough.

"We know she is more than that," the man holding the knife grinned.

"I don't know where you're getting that. Why would I, a prince, associate with a midguardian, a servant?" Loki asked.

For a moment the men's faces faltered as they considered this. The one searching shook his head.

"I know you're a trickster," he said. "I also know that you've been seen with that girl. And no one would believe that story. You know who we are. You know what we're here for."

What were these men doing? Why hadn't anyone been called for help? You stayed where you were as the searcher came towards the bathroom. You sunk down, shaking and trying not to breathe.

"Satisfied?" you heard Loki say calmly from the other room.

The man took a quick look in the bathroom while you nearly fainted with fright. Soon he left with a huff and walked back over to Loki.

"No," the man responded. He paused and you could hear the grin in his words. "We could kill you now... but think of how much better it will be once we break you. No... we'll wait. And if it's not us, it'll be someone else. We are a very determined group."

You heard Loki being released and the two men left the room. Loki closed the door.

"You can come out now, little one," he said softly.

For a moment your legs wouldn't work. Once you steadied them underneath you, you stood, holding on to the sides of the shower for support. You couldn't even imagine what you face looked like right now. You were probably extremely pale and slack jawed. You stepped out of the bathroom and Loki walked cautiously towards you.

"Are you alright?" he asked. He seemed to care, although you couldn't be sure after that little display earlier.

"What is... what is this?" you sputtered.

Loki sighed and closed the distance between you. He kissed you forehead and pulled you against him. Against your better judgement, you felt safer.

"They are the rebels," he said, exhausted.

"What?"

"Do you remember how I told you they wanted to take the most precious thing in each royal man's life?" he asked calmly.

"Yes," you answered.

"Well... for me... that's you," he said, still holding you against his chest.

For a moment you were glad he couldn't see your face. You had only known him for a few weeks. How were you the most important thing in Loki's life? And how did everyone apparently know that except you?

"Is it really that shocking?" Loki asked after your silence.

You pulled away to look at him. He smiled slightly at your expression.

"It shouldn't be, you know. You don't know what it was like before you. A kindred spirit for once, well, that was all it took to..." he trailed off, searching in your eyes for something. "Anyway, I tried to distance myself from you... but apparently no one bought it. I thought I could save you... and now I've put you in extreme danger," he frowned and moved away from you.

You felt yourself move towards him without your consent. Your body ached for him, your soul craved him. You reached out for him.

"Loki... I don't know what to say."

"You don't need to say anything, little one. But I do."

He turned around to face you and took a deep breath.

"I have to bring you back home."


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you like domestic Loki and vague-but-hopefully-romantic sex scenes :)
> 
> also thanks for all the lovely comments, they keep me going!

You wanted to scream, "No!" but you held your tongue. Pure volume would not persuade Loki. You had to reason. There was no way you were going back home and leaving him here.

"I am _not_ going back, Loki," you said boldly.

You saw the twitch of his lip as he smirked at your unfounded authority. He stood in front of you, close enough for you to feel the heat coming off of his body. You looked up at him not unlike the first day you had met.

"You sound very sure of that, little one," he said softly.

You tried to remain calm although for some reason his voice sounded quite seductive in the moment.

"I am sure. I will not leave you."

Loki looked surprised at this.

"You don't have a choice," he said suddenly, a mask of indifference on his face.

"Of course I have a choice, it's my life!" you nearly yelled. "If you think for one moment I'm going to leave you alone with these crazy people, you're insane."

Loki paced the floor.

"You're impossible," he said, more to himself than to you. He paced a few more times, walking the length of the room and biting his nail. "You know why I need to," he said, not looking at you.

You remained silent, waiting for him to answer for you. He looked up and gazed at you with those large emerald eyes of his.

"You're too important to lose," he said simply.

You felt your heart leap in your chest as if it were trying to break open your ribcage and run to him. The words that came next surprised even you.

"Come with me," you barely whispered.

Loki's head snapped to give his full attention to you. He tilted his head, considering your words.

"Come with you... To Earth?" he asked.

You nodded, stepping towards him.

"We could hide out there. They wouldn't think to hunt you there would they?"

Loki's thought process was almost visible he was thinking so hard. He bit his lip and waited a moment before answering.

"You would be safe... and I could be with you..." he ran his fingers through his hair.

You wanted this to be the option he chose. He couldn't send you to earth alone. You couldn't go back there and act like it was the same as before. You closed the distance between the two of you and ran your hands along his chest. He let out a breath and you could see him relax at your touch. You gazed up at him through hooded lids and went up on tip toe. You pressed your lips to his, circling your hands up and around his neck. He was distant at first but your touch seemed to melt him after a moment. He melded to you, pressing his chest against yours, his hands sliding to your lower back. You kissed for a few moments before pulling away. He rested his forehead against your and you both kept your eyes closed.

"Come with me," you breathed.

"Okay," he smiled.

***

Convincing the King had not been easy. Odin didn't seem to care at the moment about Loki caring for an earth girl such as you. The more pressing matter seemed to be the idea of Loki's absence from the hunt.

"You're going to hide in another realm while we search for your mother's killers?" Odin bellowed.

Loki held his lips in a fine line, fists clenched at his sides.

"I already took care of mother's killer," he said lowly.

"You know what I mean. These men, this rebellion, threatens us, and you're going to hide?"

"Listen, they seem to be going after us one at a time on some kind of schedule. If they can't find me, that gives you time to find them and they can't strike again until they've checked my emotional breakdown off their list. We'll be safe from them and be helping to give you time to find them with no harm to anyone else."

Loki spoke so calmly despite the rage that was rippling off of him. You watched as Odin considered the words and then nodded slowly. His gaze drifted to you and you felt like a five year old in trouble for stealing cookies.

"Fine," Odin said.

Loki nodded and left without another word, reaching for your hand and clasping it in his.

***

The journey to earth was even easier this time. After leaving Ginny with one of the servants who had taken to her, you and Loki packed a few things and used the gateway to earth. You didn't flail as much this time and it was nice to have an excuse to cling to Loki.

When you landed, you looked questioningly around you. You had sort of expected to have arrived at your house. You and Loki hadn't discussed the details, but you had assumed as much. This was... definitely not your house. You had no idea where you were, but you and Loki were standing outside an enormous mansion. The estate was out of a fairy tale. The stones looked old and had gorgeous ivy growing up it. The lawn was green and many flowers bloomed in the gardens.

"Do you like it?" Loki asked.

"Where are we?" you asked.

"I saw this place and thought we might spend our time here. I'm not sure where exactly you would term it, but it's quite nice, isn't it?"

You nodded and felt your legs move towards it on their own, eager to explore.

"I used some magic and arranged for the owners to win a luxury cruise. They'll be gone for a few weeks."

You entered to find a large foyer with two stair cases. As you explored the house that seemed to be largely made of marble and stone, you fell in love. It was simply breathtaking.

"We get to live here for a few weeks?" you confirmed excitedly.

Loki smiled at your glee and took your hand. He led you outside to show you the hot tub and pool; then he took you into the kitchen and showed you that it was stocked with all your favorite foods; finally he took you upstairs and showed you the master bedroom. You blushed as he gestured to the canopy bed. The bedding was bright red and the canopy a deep maroon. He didn't mention anything, but you had flashes of the two of you entangled in the sheets later in the evening. Loki led you back down to the kitchen and the two of you decided you were hungry enough to eat.

"What would you like for dinner?" Loki asked.

"Well, since we're here, why not a traditional earth meal?" you chided.

Loki gave you an _it's all you_ gesture and you rummaged around the cabinets for something to eat. You felt like pasta because it was simple, you couldn't possibly mess it up, and you had missed it a lot. You put on some water and were looking at how much time the pasta should be in the water when you felt Loki's hands sneak around your waist. You felt his chest on your back and his lips on the nape of your neck. You sighed, loving the feeling of him so close behind you.

"I love this," he whispered in your ear. For a moment you heart jumped at the word before he added _this._

"Playing house?" you giggled. You felt his laugh rattle through his body. He wrapped his arms around your stomach and pulled you closer. You pretended to play it cool by adding the pasta to the water.

"Well, I love playing house _with you,_ " he said.

You sighed and enjoyed the moment. You stirred the pasta and while it was cooking Loki simply stayed behind you, holding you. He would brush his fingers through your hair or gently kiss your neck, but he was constantly there, soothing you as you cooked for him.

When the pasta was done you drained it and searched for a sauce. You found your favorite one in the cabinet and served Loki at the table. This time serving him was fine because you wanted to. You sat across from him and he poured you some wine. The two of you talked easily over the meal. Your heart soared when you were able to make him laugh at something. It felt so strange to see him here on earth. He almost seemed human.

After you had cleaned up dinner, Loki walked over to the window.

"What is that?" he asked, pointing to the hot tub.

"It's like a bath, but with water jets," you explained. "You want to go in? I don't have a bathing suit though."

"Bathing suit?" he asked.

"Yeah it's what you wear when you go in."

"If it's a bath, don't you just go in naked?"

You blushed involuntarily. You had seen Loki naked and he you but for some reason it felt silly here on earth.

"I suppose we could," you said, looking at that leather bound body.

He smirked as he caught you looking and walked over to the tub. It was dark out and it didn't appear as though your yard were visible from any other place nearby. Loki stripped down quickly and opened the hot tub. He tested the water and sank right in, sighing. You had watched him with keen interest. His pale body nearly glowed and you marveled at his toned form. He arched an eyebrow waiting for you to join him. You turned around and took off your dress. For some reason you felt severely exposed and decided to go in in your bra and panties. Loki was chuckling and shaking his head.

"What?" you asked, embarrassed.

"Why do you not want to show the world that beautiful body of yours?" he asked.

You shrugged, looking down at your less than perfect body.

"I... I don't know," you said.

Loki moved closer to you and the water swished. 

"You are truly beautiful," he whispered before kissing you lightly.

You thought perhaps he would try for more but Loki seemed content with the sweet caress of your lips on his. You sat on his lap and enjoyed his touch. It was intimate but not rushed. Loki knew he had this whole time on earth with you and didn't seem to want to rush it. After what seemed like ages of kissing Loki, you pulled away. It had been a while and the tub had shut off, warning you to get out before getting too dehydrated. The two of you exited the hot tub and wrapped yourselves in towels. You dressed in dry clothes - Loki wore his leather pants but borrowed a shirt from the owner of the house - a white button up, which he promptly rolled up the sleeves of, making you nearly melt with desire. Loki looked hot. Like some kind of rock god mixed with a non-cliche vampire. You had settled for the nighty you had brought. It extenuated your curves quite nicely.

You followed Loki up to the bedroom. Exploring the bedside table you found a CD player. You clicked it on just to see what these people liked to listen to. It was your favorite slow song. The soft music emanated from the speakers and you smiled. You closed your eyes and swayed. Suddenly there was a hand on your waist and another in your outstretched hand. You opened your eyes to find Loki was dancing with you. Neither of you said a word. You rested your head under his chin and swayed with him. You danced for a long time in silence, just feeling each others rhythms. Loki twirled you just as the song ended. You were smiling, but there were also tears in your eyes.

"Did I do something wrong?" Loki asked, eyes full of concern.

You shook your head, wiping the tear away.

"No, of course not. I just... that song always reminds me of my mom," you explained. "She used to love it."

Loki nodded, understanding. He pulled you close to him and kissed the top of you head. He pulled you onto the bed and had you lay on your back. He held you hand and turned to you.

"Think of her," he said quietly.

You obeyed, not sure why he asked you to. You closed your eyes and pictured your mother smiling.

"Look," Loki said.

You opened your eyes to the canopy above you. Just as he had projected his memories, there were yours, shining onto the top of the bed.

"Oh my--" you gasped, as your mother's face flickered up top. You watched as your favorite memories wafted on and off the homemade screen.

Loki watched you with a small smile in between glances at your memories. You turned to him after a while and smiled.

"Thank you," you said, watching the last memory fade. "That was... lovely. I haven't seen a picture or anything of my mother in a while."

Loki gave you a small, sad smile and you knew that you two related in a way that not many others could. He was one of the few people who could understand you, and this was just one example of how well he did.

You pulled him to you and kissed him. He seemed surprised but soon he was pulling you closer, wrapping his arms around you. The sudden need you felt was unexplainable and gripping. You needed to be closer to him. You wanted to fill your senses with this man who knew you better in a few weeks than most of your friends and family had your whole life. You wanted to be with the man who thought you were the most important thing in the universe.

You tore at his shirt, not wasting time, and through a series of frantic motions you were both naked. Loki looked over your body carefully, enjoying each curve.

"You are the most divine woman in existence," he murmured. All self-consciousness and modesty left you as you saw what your form did to him.

You melded your body to Loki's and felt your heart beating out of your chest. Your hands were all over each others bodies and soon you felt him inside you. At first you felt a little pain but soon your body adjusted and it felt completely right. Loki pumped in and out of you at the perfect pace while your eyes never left each others. You gripped onto him and he held you close, coaxing you towards orgasm.

When you came, and clenched around him, you saw his orgasm take him as well. Your whole body felt on fire and you slowly came down from your high. You breathed out slowly while he was still inside you.

"I love you," you felt the words tumble out of your mouth. You tried not to look shocked at your own words. Loki, however, could not hide it. He looked stunned. "Sorry," you quickly corrected, feeling your cheeks flush. You went to move off of him but he stopped you. He held your face in his hands and stared into your eyes.

"I love you too," he said. "I just... I'm sorry, I've never heard someone say that to me before in that way," he explained.

He kissed you and pulled out of you. You felt sort of hollow without him but he soon wrapped himself around you and nuzzled up against your back.

You felt quite sleepy and almost missed him muttering it over and over before you fell asleep.

_I love you. I love you._


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks again for all your support!!  
> and just a small warning, there's some threatening/violence in this chapter but nothing crazy

It was quite surreal waking up next to Loki on earth. When you opened your eyes and felt his arms around you, it took you a moment to remember you were not in Asgard anymore. Playing house with Loki was actually really nice. As much as you loved Asgard for being more magical and exciting than earth, you had started to realize that you hadn't wanted to escape earth, you'd wanted to escape loneliness. Now it seemed you simply wanted to be wherever Loki was. It was with him that you had found meaning where you had been bored before. And life with Loki, even on earth, was not boring.

You spent the morning making breakfast together. You had stolen that white button up and only that for your morning wardrobe. Loki had found some black sweat pants and remained shirtless for the morning which you did not argue with. He felt different after your first night together - more at ease. You thought he might have been waiting for you to say _I love you_ before him and you knew why. It would have been too much of a risk for him. He was already vulnerable with you knowing you were the most important thing to him. Now that it was officially out there, he seemed to relax. The weight of trying to be loved had been taken off of him. And yet you still found him looking at you searchingly sometimes as if you were not real - as if he did not believe that you could exist after last night.

You had found the owner's library and promptly scanned the titles, landing on your favorite book. You showed it to Loki who grabbed it with great interest saying that anything favorite of yours was bound to be a masterpiece. You curled up with him in a large arm chair and read with him. He read quickly and you tried to keep pace but ended up skimming while he breezed through. You had read it before and could probably recite some of it by heart now. It didn't take him long to finish and when he did, he looked down at you and smiled.

"I knew I loved you for a reason," he said warmly. "That was wonderful."

You beamed, feeling proud that Loki approved of your favorite book. Suddenly an idea crossed your mind and you sprang up out of his lap.

"Come on!" you said, pulling a surprised Loki behind you into the entertainment room. A large television sat across from a comfortable couch. You looked through the DVDs and found that their collection was extensive and indeed contained your favorite film as well. You presented it to Loki who looked confused.

"This is my favorite film," you said.

His puzzled expression told you they did not have films on Asgard. After explaining the best you could, you decided to pop it in. Loki was fascinated by the technology and rather enjoyed your film as well.

You watched the movie curled up together on the couch. It was as if you were a simple earth couple.

"I'm going to get some water," you said, getting up off of the couch. Loki's hand lingered on you as you stood up before you walked away. The credits were rolling but Loki stayed, watching with fascination.

You went to the kitchen and got out a glass. You walked back towards the couch, about to ask Loki if he wanted anything, when a giant smash came from your left. Looking towards the glass doors, you realized they had been broken and two giant men were stepping through. Before you could scream, one was behind you holding a knife to your throat. You turned and saw Loki quickly running over, somehow a dagger in hand. The man's arm held you by your neck and your hands plied desperately to keep it away from your throat, but with only mild success. The knife was cool against your skin and you tried to back away from it, finding only hard muscle behind you, unmoving.

"Don't!" Loki screamed before a third man burst into the room.

The two other men subdued him and had him on his knees. You felt tears in your eyes but fought them while you tried to think of an escape plan. These were different men from the ones who had attacked you in the palace. The rebellion had more members than you had thought.

"How should we do this?" the one holding you asked Loki. "Slowly, no doubt. Lots of blood and pain."

Loki's face remained stony, his jaw held in a tight line. He looked away and towards the floor.

"Do whatever you like," Loki responded, sounding distant. "She means nothing to me."

You knew it was not true but the conviction of that voice was still hurtful.

The man holding you laughed and it shook you.

"Nice try, Loki," he bellowed. "But that will not convince anyone."

Loki looked at the man with pure hatred. You hadn't seen that much coldness in his eyes since his mother had been killed. If the two men lost their hold on him, they'd be sorry.

Suddenly, the man holding you whipped you around and threw you to the kitchen floor. You landed hard on the tile, hitting your head on one of the counters. You grabbed for your head and felt some warm blood dribbling down. You stayed on the floor, now closer to Loki's level. He watched in pain and you could almost hear him growl. The man stepped in front of him and looked down at you with a sadistic smile.

"What do you suppose he likes best about her?" he asked his men. You struggled to pull the shirt around you to cover up. The man knelt down and looked you over. He slid his knife next to your ear. "Her hair maybe?" he asked. He turned to Loki and shook his head. "No... Her breasts?" he slid the knife down and cut off the top few buttons.

You cringed for a moment but thought better of it. You would not let this man humiliate you. Just as you had with Loki, you looked this man straight in the eyes and refused to back down.

"Look at those eyes," he mused, tapping the knife thoughtfully on his chin. "Fierce one," he said. He turned to Loki who was struggling against the two men, trying to get free. "I think it's the eyes," he said.

He grabbed your arm and thrust you forward so you were almost face to face with Loki. You felt the tears stream down your face and mix with the blood still running from the cut on your head. Loki's face softened at the closeness to you.

"I love you," you whispered.

You thought for a moment you had heard his heart break. But then there was another crack and you all turned towards the broken doors. The sky was dark, the clouds were swirling. Although the men still held you tight, you felt them tense. What were they scared of?

Your question was answered with a beam of light. A few Asgardian soldiers appeared and Thor descended from above them, wielding his hammer. You thought you might pass out with gratitude. The men and women in uniform walked into the room. Thor stormed up to the man holding you. He had stood, dragging you with him, his knife to your throat.

"Let her go," Thor demanded.

You felt the knife touch your skin.

"No," the man growled.

"Alright," Thor said easily. He made to turn away and then suddenly slammed back with his hammer, hitting the man directly on his head. He flew backwards and you felt Thor grab your arm to keep you from joining him.

The other two men stared at Thor and quickly dropped their weapons and stood back from Loki. Loki stood up and you ran to him, hiding your face in the crook of his neck. His arms wrapped around you tightly and he kissed the top of your head.

"Brother," Thor greeted Loki. He stepped over the broken glass to get closer as his soldiers chained the two remaining men. They dragged them outside, leaving you, Loki, and Thor inside.

"I... I'm not sure how to thank you," Loki said, sounding unsure for the first time ever. He glanced down at you and then back at Thor. You peeked and saw Thor's beaming grin.

"You just did," Thor answered, patting Loki lightly on his shoulder.

"Thank you," you chimed in, your voice cracking.

"Of course, m'lady," Thor smiled kindly at you. "They were hard to track, I'm sorry we couldn't have come sooner."

"Did you find them all?" Loki asked.

"Yes," Thor answered. "We dismantled the operation on Asgard, these men were the last ones."

"That was fast," Loki marveled "Perhaps you don't need me at all."

For a moment you thought about that. What if Asgard didn't need Loki? What if you could selfishly have him all to yourself?

"It was because of your plan that we got them," Thor said.

"Well, what else is new," Loki joked.

You felt the air between them change. There was less tension than there had been. Maybe this, in a weird way, was good for them.

"Are you coming back with us?" Thor asked, looking at you.

"We'll follow soon enough. I would like to fix this poor mortal's home first," Loki decided.

Thor nodded and bowed slightly to you before joining his soldiers outside. They took off smoothly in the beam of light, leaving you and Loki alone. For a moment, neither of you spoke. Loki broke the silence.

"I am so sorry," he said, cupping your face in his hands. He kissed your forehead. "I didn't think they would follow us here. I thought you were safe."

"It's fine," you said, rubbing your elbow where you had fallen. The blood had stopped flowing from your head at least. "I'm barely scratched."

Loki frowned at this obvious lie.

"Sit," he ordered, pulling up a chair. You didn't argue and felt your knees almost collapse from the falloff of the adrenaline.

Loki came over with a wet towel and pulled up a chair. He dabbed delicately at your head wound and you hissed a little at the pain.

"Sorry," he said. The sound of his apology nearly broke your heart.

"It's just a little sensitive," you offered.

Loki moved the cloth away and took both your hands in his. He looked into your eyes and spoke with absolute conviction.

"I will never let you get hurt again," he promised.

"I would not mind reliving that a hundred times if it meant that I could be with you," you answered honestly.

Loki smiled at first but then his face went darker.

"I would not wish that upon you," he said, stroking your hand. "I would take it all for both of us many times over if it meant being with you."

You sat in silence for a little while, Loki quietly cleaning you up. After Loki was done, he sent you upstairs to dress. You discarded the shirt and put on a dress you had packed. Loki soon came upstairs and changed as well.

"Are you ready to go back?" he asked.

You thought about Ginny waiting for you back in Asgard and nodded. It didn't really matter where you were, as long as you were with Loki. You nodded and walked with him back downstairs. The doors had been fixed with magic you assumed, and Loki took you outside. The beam of light brought you back home and you were more than happy to curl up in bed next to Loki. Ginny slept at the bottom of your bed as usual and everything felt oddly like normal again.

You could feel Loki's eyes on you as you tried to fall asleep. You knew he was feeling guilty about putting you in danger and weren't quite sure how to fix that. You had figured danger was in the job description of Loki's romantic interest and you were fine with it because so far it was worth it. You felt protected as you drifted off into sleep. Loki kept watch over you, even though there were guards stationed outside your room.


	17. Chapter 17

You had always hated books where the men were controlling or over protective of their love interests. It seemed to you that the heroines should be able to take care of themselves. However, Loki's protection made you feel safe, not trivialized or objectified. The way you felt him scan the room for threats was comforting. He wasn't looking out for dangers to himself, he was constantly guarding you from harm. It felt nice, after all those years alone, to be important to someone. While you may not have been able to back Loki up, you tried your best to be on the look out for threats to him. And not only threats of life or death, but emotional threats. You felt somewhat protective of his emotional well-being now. If you saw Odin or Thor coming his way, you often tried to make him smile at least before he had to deal with his family.

Today, however, you were not prepared for the summons from Odin. You and Loki were to report to the Great Hall in order to discuss an important matter with the king. You had no idea what this matter was. The rebellion had been dealt with, so what was left to worry about?

Loki took your hand with a tight grimace and followed the servant who had summoned the two of you. You walked, suddenly feeling cold, towards the hall.

When you arrived you felt Loki's grip on your hand tighten and he walked closer to you. There, in the center of the large room, Odin stood with his back to you. He turned slowly, revealing his pale face and worn features. For some reason you suddenly felt self conscious about your and Loki's entwined hands. It felt like you were in middle school again.

"You summoned us?" Loki greeted warily.

"Yes," Odin responded, his voice gravelly. "It is in regards to this," he gestured towards your hands. You felt a blush creep up on your face.

Loki looked down at your hands and shrugged.

"What about it?" he asked casually, as if this relationship were completely ordinary.

"I wish to speak to (y/n)," Odin said, addressing you. Your name sounded strange on Odin's lips, not like it sounded on Loki's loving ones.

"I would rather Loki stay, if that's alright, my lord," you said, stumbling through the words. If Loki's hand left yours you were sure your legs would give out from the fear that Odin placed in your heart. It wasn't fair for him to do that, you thought. He hadn't really done anything negative towards you. And yet, he was the king and that held a lot of weight in your mind.

"Fine," Odin said, waving a hand in nonchalance. "Well, to start, we must talk about what you are."

"What I am?" you asked.

"Yes. Midgardian, correct?" he asked.

"From Earth, yes," you responded. Odin nodded.

"I recall allowing Loki to pick a servant from one of the other realms because he had used up just about everyone here."

You reflected on Loki's treatment of you the first week you were here and flinched. You then relaxed, remembering how far he'd come.

"I did not predict that he would become... _fond_ of one."

Your eyes searched the room, not sure how to explain it. It wasn't something you hadn't predicted either.

"And I'm not sure how to go about this," he said.

"Go about what?" you asked. You felt Loki tensing beside you and wondered if he knew what Odin was talking about.

"An Asgardian Prince has never been paired with a Midgardian before," Odin stated. "There aren't exactly rules in place. But I should think that it isn't proper for royalty to be consorting with women from other planets."

"With all due respect sir, where I come from, it doesn't matter who you are... Love is love."

"Love is love," Odin almost mocked.

You started to feel a squirming sensation in your skin. You just couldn't get a read on where this conversation would head next.

"Love is love, and Princes are Princes," Odin began. "But not this Prince," he gave a cold smile towards Loki. "Did he tell you about his heritage?" Odin asked, a rhetorical question, you said nothing. "He is not royal blood. He will not ever be king of Asgard." Odin looked pointedly at Loki. You heard Loki's deep breathing and silently praised him for controlling his temper. "Therefore... I suppose it does not wholly matter who Loki decides to have relations with."

You almost jumped for joy at that. You had thought Odin would have banned you from being with Loki because you weren't royalty. But you realized what he was saying. Loki, to him, was essentially _not_ part of the family. In the words he had chosen it almost sounded as though it were a technicality, but you realized that he was simply alienating Loki from the throne and the family using those technicalities.

You rubbed your thumb across Loki's hand and tried to calm him.

"I suppose it does not matter what Loki marries after all," Odin said, seemingly lost in thought.

" _What_ I marry?" Loki spat. "She is not a _what._ She is a _who._ She is a _person._ And a very important one I might add."

Odin seemed not to have heard Loki.

"Still," Odin mused. "We can't have someone who represents the royal family in the public view associating with just anyone. Is there something redeeming about you or noble about you we could use?" Odin asked.

You were taken aback. Your biggest achievement on Earth was finishing the full series of _Friends_ in six days.

"Umm... Umm," you searched your mind trying to find something, anything to justify why you should be able to stay with Loki.

"She doesn't need to validate herself to you," Loki said coolly. "She is my equal and superior in many ways," he said proudly. You blushed.

Odin was flabbergasted.

"Superior?" he said, exasperated.

Loki stood his ground and nodded. Odin eyed you carefully, as if there was something obvious he had missed. He shook his head.

"Loki, I don't think you understand. Midgard is--"

"Midgard is my lady's home planet. Therefore it is not primitive, but exemplary."

You almost couldn't believe the praise that was stemming from Loki. You felt your chest well up with pride and thankfulness.

Odin cracked an ironic smile and turned to you.

"I don't know what you've done to him. I've never seen such... Humility? Idiocy? I'm not sure what you'd call it."

Loki sighed, clearly done with trying to talk to Odin about any of this. You were nearing your end too. Where was this going? Were you allowed to be with him or not? As if he read your mind, Odin spoke again.

"I suppose if you can prove yourself worthy, you will be allowed to remain with Loki. He may not be an official heir, but he is a figurehead and in important part of this government. He must be with someone who will not embarrass or impede us."

You noted that he said government instead of family and it hurt you.

"How--" you began to ask how you would prove this but Odin had started to turn and walk away from you without another word of explanation. "Alright then," you said sarcastically to yourself.

Loki turned to you and pulled you to him. He kissed your forehead and looked down worryingly.

"I'm sorry," he said softly. _He_ was sorry? You had felt immense pity for him more than anything for yourself.

"Don't be,"  you said. "I'm sorry your father's such an ass," you added. "You don't deserve the way he treats you."

Loki shrugged.

"It matters not."

You begged to differ, knowing how much it must hurt to not be truly considered part of the family.

"How do I even _prove myself?"_ you asked, wondering if he knew.

"You shouldn't have to," Loki frowned. "I have no idea what Odin wants," he admitted. "But so long as you do not prove otherwise, I should think we will be alright for the time being. How to prove affirmatively that we belong together might take some scheming," Loki said, a sudden mischievous edge to his voice and small smile.

"That sounds interesting," you smiled.

Loki's face took on a more serious look.

"If anything, I should have to prove my worthiness for you," he muttered.

"Don't be ridiculous," you dismissed him with a smile. He gave you a smile in return but it did not reach his eyes. You wondered if he truly felt that way. Why would Loki have to prove his worthiness to you? You bookmarked that for another time when you and Loki could discuss it at length.

Loki snaked an arm around your waist and led you back towards your room. He chatted lightly about this and that but your mind was on Odin's words. How would you prove to him that you were worthy of loving Loki? You wondered too when that thought would have ever crossed your mind based on your first days here. How far you'd come was incredible... But how far did you still have to go?


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow so this turned out to be super long. I'm really excited about it though, I hope you like it!

After a week or so of mulling it over, you still didn’t know what Odin wanted from you. You and Loki continued on the way you had been. You read together, you adventured together and you made love.

On this particular day, he was away on business. It was more than just a small annoyance to be apart from Loki now. You found that you missed his presence. However, you thought you would make the best of your time alone and try to read something interesting. You knew that Loki had books scattered around the room because you’d found and read most of them. Your laziness today did not prompt the long walk to the library. You shuffled things around looking for a new book. You went to the nightstand, thinking Loki would have some emergency night reading stashed away. You opened the drawer and found a small leather-bound book.  

Curious of the lack of title, you opened it. Immediately you slammed it shut when you realized what it was - Loki’s journal. You recognized his cursive handwriting.

You took a deep breath and looked around you. It was so so wrong but you couldn’t help yourself. You flipped to the date that you had arrived and started reading. The entries were scattered but most of them, not surprisingly, revolved around you. You plopped on to the bed, half listening to any sounds that would signal Loki’s return. You had all day to read it though. Pushing ethics aside, you read.

 

_All the servants here are complete rubbish. Not that I believe Midgard to be full of intelligent people, but I have hopes to compensate for this world’s complete oafs. I am looking forward to selecting the best of what Midgard has to offer. I’ve programmed the detector to look for the most aesthetically pleasing, intelligent women. I’ve always liked women servants, they can multitask better than men. I have low hopes, but perhaps one will stand out to me._

_***_

_Well, I was right. One did indeed stand out. She was not what I expected to choose and am rather surprised at my actions. I knew from the moment I saw her that she was different. The others were cowards. The others were frightened of me, as all people are, and did not look me in the eye. This one though, there is something about her. She was scared, of course, but she did not back down because of it. Perhaps I recognize part of myself in her, although that seems nearly impossible. She is quite beautiful for a Midgardian and she will do well as an object of value at my side. She will need taming, but it will at least be entertaining to see her go through this. I immediately dismissed the other women and sent them back home with the memory of a half faded dream. They should be so lucky as to serve me._

_***_

_I have left the servant who, much to my annoyance, insists that she be called (y/n) with an older servant to learn the ways of the palace. Hopefully the servant, I forget her name, something with an A, it doesn’t matter, but hopefully she will not distort my new pet’s temperament. I want her just as vivacious as when we first met. Any fear instilled by that woman to calm her down will be added effort for me to undo. She was originally dressed in barely anything… something that might have added to my desire for her to be mine. It has been a while since I have had the pleasures of the flesh and hers, while beneath my status, seemed rather inviting. Once I had dressed her in something more appropriate for her new position, she was almost more inviting. I have to remind myself that she is completely beneath me, unworthy of anything I could do to her… And I could do so much…_

_***_

_That swine addressed me by my first name! The absolute gall of that woman. Why did I even pick her if she will not respect me? I did not mean to grab her at first, I was simply going to yell. But I believe my confusion about my attraction beforehand got the better of me and I blamed her for it. I blamed her for my own attraction, how childish. And yet, I allowed it to fuel my rage and it felt quite nice. I am not used to being addressed in such a manner. And yet… there is a certain amusement to seeing her do this. I have to remind myself that it is not her place, not even close. And I must admit, leaving her alone in my room, even just to tidy… felt strange. I have never cared what any servant thought of anything they might find in my room. And yet, here I was, worrying about what she might think of my things. How dreadful. Perhaps I have picked some kind of sorceress who can play tricks with my mind. There seems no other explanation for the odd ways she makes me feel._

_***_

_I should have guessed that Midgardians were the laziest of the realms. She did not get up and get my breakfast this morning. When I woke, there was not even the faintest smell of breakfast. At first I was confused, but then I realized what had happened. I could have simply torn in there and scolded her like she deserved, but something made me stop. When I entered the room and saw her laying there - nearly naked - I stopped. I had to sit for a moment and simply observe. I found myself tracing her curves with my eyes and wondering what it might be like to sleep next to her. I quickly scolded myself of course, at such a ridiculous thought. As if she could deserve such things… Or I… And then I said a curious thing. I screamed at her, “You are nothing. You are worthless. And you are alone." And as I watched her face, I could nearly read her mind. She seemed to be saying, “No, that’s what you think about yourself.” What would possibly prompt this insight from her? I don’t think that of myself… I am fine. I am Loki, Prince of Asgard. I have a purpose and a place. I don’t need anyone else. And I did not mean to mention the pleasure part… I know that I could give her pleasure but she needn't know that and I almost hit myself for mentioning it. I left after that, knowing she would have to go to the library for me. I predicted that she would fail miserably and perhaps not even find her way to the library. Yet again she surprised me by completing this task efficiently and with apparent interest. During this interlude of course I had to deal with the untamed horses. No one seems to have the mastery over the beasts as I do, and yet, there were casualties - namely my clothes. I would have thought nothing of undressing in front of any servant because who are they to me? And yet, as I undressed before her, I felt… different. I was very aware of my nudity in front of her for some reason. Why should I care what some mortal thinks of my godly form? She also surprised me with making the best smelling bath I have ever had. Sitting in the tub I could nearly only think about inviting her to join me. This thought was absolutely unbelievable. I was forced to send her away for prompting such thoughts._

_***_

_The process of getting her a clock sphere was more involved than I had anticipated. I assumed I would just go and get the cheapest looking one. And yet, as I gazed at the displays, I found myself… caring about what I gave her. In the end I went with one that I found to be quite beautiful. I left her a note conveying the importance of her duties to me as a servant, but found that my heart was not in it._

_When she came in, the conversation that followed was one of the most surreal I have ever had. I just could not believe the audacity this young woman possessed to talk to me this way. She thought I was human first of all. Granted, humans do quite look like us I suppose, but still, it was a little insulting. I informed her that I am in fact the God of Mischief. Her cheeky reply caught me off guard. My old servants would have cowered and back away trying to please me but she actually almost made me laugh… something I have not done in a long time. I informed her of the dinner, telling her she had to accompany me as my servant, but in truth I am ashamed to say that she has become a sort of comfort to me. In facing my family I have always felt so alone… and yet, if she were there, it would seem more bearable. I hate myself for this. I should not need anyone. I am fine alone._

_***_

_As always, Thor was a galumphing oaf and Odin was an intolerable fool. All they care to discuss is war and battle. They do not appreciate the kind of cunning and intellect that I bring to the table. Luckily my family is redeemed only by my mother. Sometimes I believe she is the only person in the world who could even consider loving me truly. Throughout dinner I could feel (y/n)’s eyes on me. I tried my best not to look at her for fear of catching her gaze. I could not help but wonder what she must have thought of the whole display. Not that her opinion matters, but I wonder if she thinks Thor and Odin are as awful as I do. It did not seem so when Thor complimented her. I suddenly felt a stir inside me that I have not felt before. Thor called her beautiful or something monotonous of the kind and I felt the need to punch him stronger than usual. She was not his to compliment. She also did not deserve the compliment coming from an inadequate mouth. If anything my praise of her would be at least more eloquently stated. Not that she should get any from me. She is but a servant of course. But what angered me more was that she seemed flattered by it. I nearly shook the girl to death because of her idiocy, but mother pulled me aside. I listen to few people in terms of how to behave, but her words made sense to me. She told me that all women were sacred, no matter where they came from. Coming from the most intelligent and caring person I know, I believe her observations. She also said that she could sense something, “Call it, mother’s intuition,” she said, about her. She said that (y/n) could be good for me and I should not rule it out despite what I might think about her. She convinced me to apologize which I found extremely embarrassing, an emotion I am not familiar with. After this whole display I went out into the hallway. I couldn’t shake the feeling that she would hate me as all the others do now. It annoyed me that I cared, but that is what I felt._

_***_

_I woke up to find that I had been tucked in to bed and taken care of like a child. I knew my mother had not been in my room and so it must have been (y/n). She must have come in for some reason, probably to tell me that she hated me, and then seen me sleeping. She took care of me. The thought of someone doing that is nearly impossible to fathom. I felt oddly comfortable with the idea and did not want to discourage it. In fact, in all honesty, my mind wandered in its morning haze to a fantasy where she would come and crawl into bed with me. What was even more astounding about this day happened later. When I came back from my business affairs of the day, she was reading! Imagine that. The girl was in my chair by my fireplace, reading my book. I thought I was hallucinating. At first I wanted to scream at her, how dare she do this! And yet I realized that it was mostly foreign to me because I had not seen another person read a book in a very long time. The thought of having someone to converse with on my favorite subject was very tempting. So tempting, in fact, that I allowed her to finish the book instead of finishing her chores. Our discussion afterwards will forever be imprinted on my memory. She told me that she saw every twist coming! I had been delightedly blindsided by them and was fascinated to know how she saw them. Apparently where she comes from, stories are quite similar and she is well practiced in their structure. I found myself wanting to hear more of her intelligent thoughts, but why?! She is a servant, not a companion. I should not care what she thinks. And yet, after I sent her away, I could not get that conversation out of my mind. I had never spoken with someone so passionately before and it seemed we had only just scratched the surface. I wanted more. She seems like some sort of hallucinogen to me. I began to wonder how someone so unimportant could have accessed a part of me that I had blocked off from everyone else? How could this average human break down my walls that I had constructed so well. It angered me immensely. I took it out on her. I slapped her. And… I guess I shouldn’t be surprised by now, but she hit me back. I was angry at first of course, but again…. I had to give her credit for her bravery. That is what I chose her for after all. I told her it had been a test but it wasn’t, at least not at first. However, after this display I realized, with some fright, that she might be willing to climb over those walls._

_I was also not surprised to learn that she was under the impression I had killed those women. Like everyone else, she assumed I was a monster. And I cannot blame her._

_***_

_I hated visiting that town. Odin insists upon it every year and we never find anything of importance. It is a waste of time and Thadius is revolting. I wish I could unhear some of the stories that he has told me. I do not take back the fact that I am a monster, but he is something far worse. To force yourself upon so many women and have no remorse…. There is something awful in his soul._

_The journey started lightly enough. When she tried to get on the horse and failed miserably I had to hold back a laugh. I did not tell my hand to extend to her, nor my voice to ask her to ride with me… it just happened. I cannot explain it and it troubles me. Her body so close to mine on my horse was… pleasant to say the least. The smell of her and the feel of her was almost irresistible. When her dress rode up her legs and revealed such marvelous stretches of skin, I thought I might just reach out and touch her, but held back. She fit so perfectly in front of me. I admit I held her hands longer than necessary and told myself it was for balance that I let them sit on her hips._

_I have never felt so protective of anyone as I did when we arrived. All I could see was Thadius’ hands on her and it made my skin crawl. He charmed her instantly, for which I do not blame her. When he asked if she was my wife, my mind flitted to the imaginary world where that were true. I am again ashamed to say I enjoyed it immensely. I tried to protect her by making her seem unappealing to Thadius, but of course, her radiance could not hold up my degradation. Thadius saw right through it and continued trying to charm her. When I heard her laugh with him… it switched something inside me. The thought of another man, specifically that man, making her laugh was unbearable. Without thinking I grabbed her by the waist and pulled her to me as if she were in fact my wife. I was so wrapped up in these thoughts that when she asked me why I should care who she talked with, I had to ask just that. Why did I care? She was only a servant, I kept telling myself… and yet here I am acting as though we are equals._

_Later she was so quiet that her thoughts almost permeated the air. I had to ask what the matter was for fear of her discontent causing some physical reaction within me. For once, I could not predict what a person would say. I am always exactly right. I know how people work because they are idiots. I know what they will say all the time and it is frightfully boring. But not with her. I never know what she will say and it fascinates me._

_She accused me of wanting to own her as an object of some kind. I must admit that was originally true…. However, one cannot own something that is not an object. I did not wish to own her, no… I think I wished her to want to belong to me, to somehow be attached to me. I hate these thoughts because I do not understand them. The worst thought was one that followed… I wanted to belong to her too._

_***_

_This is undeniably the worst day of my life. I shall recall it from the beginning. I awoke when I heard the alarm that someone had broken into the palace. My first thought was not of my dagger, nor of myself as perhaps it should have been, but of (y/n). I immediately wondered if she was safe and how I could protect her. I woke her and brought her with me. I only trusted myself to keep her safe and no one else. Holding her hand was not to simply to ensure she kept pace… It was also to feel her warmth and assurance. I find her… comforting._

_When we arrived at the Grand Hall… it all went to hell. I was furious that my mother imprisoned me behind an illusion I could not break. I assume that she believed she was protecting me but I could have protected her! I should have! I cannot describe the feeling of seeing the blade push through her body or watching her body fall to the floor. The motions I went through after that were as if I had done them routinely my whole life. I killed the man who murdered my mother in cold blood. It was as if I had done it every day for my entire life. It felt natural and I do not regret it. I had almost forgotten that (y/n) was with me. I turned to her, expecting to see disgust because of my actions. I found none. When Odin and Thor came I knew I did not belong with them. I left, suddenly allowing the emotions to come to me. I felt incredible anger that surely could have leveled many cities were it a storm. I threw things like a child. When the vase cut me it was almost a relief. I did not expect her to help me. Once she put her hands on mine I didn’t, no I couldn’t let her leave. I knew that without her, for whatever reason, I would destroy not only the room but myself. I felt like a pathetic child asking her to stay. I cannot imagine what it was that made her do so without any sort of threat._

_I did not intend to talk to her about my mother. I assumed I would carry the burden alone as I do with everything. However, she somehow coaxed it out of me and I felt lighter. She seemed to know exactly how I was feeling and how to phrase it. How could she know this? She had gone through a similar experience. I felt a sudden desperation for her that scares me. I needed her desperately. I could not handle her leaving me. And then… I cried. I cried for my mother and for everything I had never allowed myself to cry for. And she didn’t run away or make fun of me. She let me cry. She… held me. I have never been comforted like this. I had never allowed it. So why now? There is something about her._

_***_

_Even more surprising was the joy I felt waking up with her in my arms. It felt undeniably right. I am not ashamed to admit when I think something is right. And this… felt right. The joy, of course, was short lived with the memory of the night before. And during the funeral arrangements I felt myself gravitate towards her as if she had her own pull. She was a sort of source of strength for me today. I would normally not allow it but… I needed it. Especially with Odin and Thor around… I am not part of this family… Not really, not anymore._

_I do not know who to thank that I did not have to ask her to stay again. Watching her instinctively crawl into bed with me put an immense weight off of my shoulders. And I hadn’t planned on showing her my memories of Frigga, let alone the other ones that found their way in. I did not want pity from her… I wanted understanding. And then something remarkable happened. She kissed me. I never thought she would do that… but I knew in that moment that I wanted to do everything in my power to ensure she would want to again. Her lips are the most divine things in all of creation. I have never felt this strongly about a woman’s touch before. It was careful yet passionate, controlled, but wild. She made me dizzy with desire but I held back. This night was not the night for more. This night… she simply opened my eyes… And that is terrifying._

_***_

_The nightmares are the worst part of this whole ordeal. I wake up thrashing to the sound of her calming voice. It takes me a while to regain any sort of normalcy. I lashed out at her but she did not run away from me. Why didn’t she run away? Perhaps she should have. She let me touch her again which I needed desperately. She makes me feel less alone, something I never thought I would want but now need._

_She showed me how to skip rocks. I forgot how sad I was while I was with her. When Thor interrupted us I felt guilty. My mother had just died and here I was laughing with this girl? And yet the guilt did not stay because something so pure cannot be evil. I still do not like Thor talking to her, but I could not avoid it this time. I am afraid she will see that he is better than I am and hate me for it._

_***_

_I gave her my favorite book to read. That was all I had originally wanted when I went to her room that night. And yet… I knew I could not possibly spend the night without her. The nightmares are unbearable unless I know I will wake up safely beside her. And blessedly, wake up beside her I did._

_***_

_I never thought anyone would be scared of thunder. Of course, I never thought I would invite a Midgardian to my bed. She cowered at the storm that Thor was making. I found it both amusing and endearing. I felt the need to comfort her too which, before this, never felt natural. I eventually got her to sleep. Watching her sleep peacefully is an image I will never forget. I wondered what she dreamed about and if I were involved in any way. I wanted her to wake up and read my favorite book, but I waited._

_It was worth the wait. Even coming from different worlds, literature is still literature. I have never related with someone so easily before. I felt so connected to her in a way I had not felt with anyone beforehand. She knew my books and therefore part of my soul. She gave great insights and spoke so beautifully… I had to kiss her. I had to show her how I felt physically._

_Understandably, she did not feel quite the same about me. She is not wrong in that I kidnapped her. Although I cannot stand the thought of her leaving, her staying against her will is more unbearable. I asked her if she wanted to leave. The words did not ask permission before they left my lips. I waited in quiet desperation for her answer._

_When she gave her demands, I was ready to agree to almost anything to get her to stay. When did she get that much power over me? And then I had to explain to her how I felt. Shouldn’t she already know why I was… fond of her? She is intelligent but apparently blind to this area. She should already know how incredible she is without my word for it. And yet she has intelligence enough to be afraid of me. And told her… I am afraid of me too sometimes. And I was not lying._

_Earth was boring, but her collection of belongings was interesting. We did not stay long. I like her cat against my better judgement._

_***_

_I wonder if she made the right choice to come back with me. Surely she would be safer and probably happier on earth without me? Perhaps she is too scared to say so. I wonder._

_Ginny is annoying but strangely comforting. She has taken to my lap as though it were her rightful place. This new routine of going to bed next to (y/n) is nice… I just sometimes wish I could add more to it. Her skin is so soft and inviting and the small sounds she makes when I wrap my arms around her make it hard to resist her._

_***_

_She is amazing. Truly. Our encounter in the shower… I was not expecting it. Even when I invited her in, I had no intention of it going that far. She was tender and tantalizing. I did not foresee my pleasuring her either. And yet, that was more satisfying to see her come undone at my hand. After that I felt much closer, more intimate with her. I feel as though we are slowly melding together._

_***_

_I have found myself doing my own chores with her. What kind of madness is this? I cannot have her serve me with feelings such as this. Instead I accompany her as she does the list of things I need. No one seems to understand this from the outside and I’m not sure I would be able to explain it either. However, even the most boring tasks are bearable and almost enjoyable with her. Thor mentioned that she has some kind of power over me, a suspicion I have held for a long time._

_***_

_Odin informed me of the slowly forming rebellion. Apparently the men wish to take the thing that will most emotionally cripple us before killing us. I admire their tactic, and yet I know exactly what they will aim to take and cannot and will not allow it. I would rather die first. And yet, I know what I will have to do to prevent this will feel just like dying indeed._

_***_

_The hurt in her eyes nearly broke my heart. I need to convince her and everyone that she means nothing to me so the rebellion will not harm her. I sent a guard with her just in case. This is the hardest thing I have ever done._

_***_

_When I heard about the incident I nearly vomited. Thankfully the guard I sent was competent and kept her safe. Unfortunately this means I will have to try harder to save her._

_***_

_Apparently I am not a good of an actor as I had hoped. The men still came for her and once the incompetent fools were gone I could not pretend any longer. I feel extremely vulnerable with her knowing that she is the most important person to me. I told her that I had to send her back to earth so she would be safe. I should have known she would protest. I could not have foreseen the reason why though. It seems that she wants to stay with me no matter where we go. She seemed sincere in this although I do not know why. I agreed to go to earth and hide out after easily manipulating Odin into seeing the advantage of it. Playing house on earth shall be interesting._

_***_

_It is just as I pictured domestic life with her: perfect. Her modesty, her humor, everything is as I wanted it to be. I watched her dance to her favorite song and knew that if I did not step in I would regret it for the rest of my life. Slipping in and holding her close to me, I knew I was in trouble. She is more dangerous to me than any enemy I have faced. She holds my heart in the palm of her hand - she need only clamp it shut to kill me._

_And yet… something remarkable happened. She said it. She said that she loved me. At first I thought I was hallucinating for surely she would never feel that way about me. As soon as it registered that it had in fact happened, the words tumbled out of me. And after I said it I couldn’t stop saying it. There was just something that felt so right about it and I felt that I should make up for a lifetime of being wrong._

_***_

_I should have known our peace couldn’t have lasted. Up until the men came, we were having a great time. She showed me her favorite book, which, unsurprisingly, was amazing. We had just finished a film when it happened. I owe Thor more than my life now. I think the men had trouble pinpointing what I liked most about her, though, because it isn’t one thing. It is her entire being, her entire soul. I will give them this though - the eyes were the closest they could have come for they house the soul within. And all I can think is that when she was under that knife, possibly about to die… her last words were to tell me that she loved me. I think it just about killed me._

_***_

_Odin is really a fool. She does not have to prove herself worthy of me. If anything I should have to do so for her. I am not worthy of the love she showers me with. She is not the one who should have to prove anything. She did not seem to agree and I have no idea why. I do not deserve her, that much is clear. Whether she deserves me or not is something I am too selfish to examine. But I already know the answer._

 

A clearing of a throat made you nearly jump out of your skin. Loki stood staring at you with a hint of mischief in his eyes.

“What do we have here?” he asked.


	19. Chapter 19

Your eyes fly wide open and you gape at him.

"I...I--" you stutter. You hand the journal to him quickly and drop your eyes to the ground. "I am so sorry, Loki. I was looking for a book and then I found this and I just couldn't stop reading, it was so fascinating..." you tried to explain.

"Fascinating?" he repeated, staring down at you. You dared not meet his eyes for fear of the hatred you might find there.

You nodded, examining the expensive rug beneath you. You felt the bed shift as Loki sat beside you and then a finger under your chin, lightly lifting your gaze to his.

"I'm not angry, little one," he said calmly. You were not convinced. How would he not be angry at this invasion of privacy?

"You're not?" you asked, stunned.

He shook his head and you tilted yours in confusion.

"I do not wish to be some kind of enigma to you," he explained. "My heart is open to yours now, you may know anything you wish."

He was so... _different_ from the Loki at the beginning of the journal entries. He was kind and open with you... something you knew you had a hand in crafting.

"It was just so interesting to see the story from your side," you said. He watched you with those intense green eyes. "I always wondered what you really thought of me."

He nodded, thinking.

"I wish I could know that about you," he said softly. "Your mind is a great puzzle to me."

"Loki, my heart and mind are open to you too. Just ask me anything and I'll tell you," you said honestly.

Loki smiled softly and took your hands in his. He thought for a moment before asking.

"What did you first think of me?" he asked hesitantly. You thought back to the fear and also the intrigue you had felt for him.

"Well," you said, nervously tucking some hair behind your ear. "At first I was frightened of course. Then I thought you were just entitled and spoiled," you felt better when he laughed at this part. "And I was... attracted to you against my better judgement. And then I started to see that maybe you weren't as stone cold as you led on. And I was right."

He leaned in and kissed you then. When your lips parted, he leaned his forehead against yours.

"I don't know why you thought that," he said.

"Thought what?" you said, trying to remember how to breathe with his lips so close.

"Why there was something worthwhile underneath it all."

"I don't know... Something in your eyes I think... But all that matters is I was right," you sighed.

"I hope you were," Loki said, almost to himself. One of the last sentences in the journal came ringing back in your ears: _I do not deserve her, that much is clear._

"I was," you said defiantly. "And don't go thinking that you're unworthy of what I've given you. You deserve happiness, Loki. I have seen a part of you that no one else has. You are an intelligent, good, emotional being. You're not the monster you think you are, whether that makes you happy or not."

Loki pulled away to look at you with sharp eyes. You thought that perhaps you saw a few tears forming but you must have been imagining it.

"What?" he asked. It was his turn to be stunned.

"You know that I love you, right?"

"Well... yes I suppose," Loki answered, not convinced.

You pulled him close and kissed him passionately. You moved so you were straddling him. You ran your fingers through his hair, trying with your body and lips to persuade him of this so he would never question it again.

"You know that I love you," you repeated almost angrily.

He looked up at you with dazed eyes.

"Yes," he said, his voice low and sultry.

"Do you know why?" you asked. You had just given him the answer.

Loki looked as though he were trying to remember an answer to a test.

"Because I am intelligent, good, and emotional?" he tried.

You sighed. You didn't want your words repeated back to you.

"I got it wrong?" he asked.

"Not wrong... just... I don't think you believe me." You stared down at the man below you. How could you convince him he was worth being loved?

"I... It's hard for me," Loki admitted.

"I know," you said.

"I'm not sure I've ever been..." he trailed off. Loved, you finished the thought. At least not like this.

"Maybe Odin was right in a way," you said. "Maybe I do have to prove myself... but not to him. Maybe I have to prove to you that I love you, and that you deserve it."

Loki looked at you as though he were seeing stars for the first time. You leaned down and kissed him, letting your tongue find its way into his mouth. You devoured each others mouths hungrily and pulled off clothing as fast as you could. You clutched and held each other close as if your lives depended on it. Your love making was desperate and intense. When you came undone together you watched the explosion in each others' eyes. Your lips ghosted over each others and you tried to catch your breath. Your sweaty bodies stayed connected until you felt him soften inside you. When he pulled out you immediately snuggled as close to him as you could, trying to keep as much of yourself touching him as possible.

You lay with your head on his chest as he lightly stroked your hair. You wanted to whisper I love you or even tattoo it on your skin so he would always know. You held him close and said it over and over in your head, hoping that somehow he would hear it and know how true it was.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for those that read "Revelations" it's kind gonna follow a similar story line... you'll see... and it's a bit different anyway but just thought I'd warn ya of the repetitiveness.

When you returned from the library one day to see an extravagant green dress laid out on the bed, you thought you'd walked into the wrong room. This fancy gown was nothing like the dresses you'd usually wear, something must be up. You heard Loki walk into the room from the bathroom and smile at you as he saw you gazing at the dress.

"Do you like it, little one?" he asked softly.

You turned your attention to him and tilted your head in a question.

"It's for the ball," he explained. Seeing your confusion persist, he continued. "We host a yearly ball where all the royals and nobles from surrounding kingdoms come and dance, dine, and drink. It's usually dastardly, but I have a feeling this year it will be better," he smiled slyly.

"Why's that?" you asked.

"Because I will be the date of the most beautiful women in all the realm," Loki said, as if it were obvious.

You laughed at his compliment but smiled.

"What makes you think I'll let you be my date?" you raised an eyebrow cheekily.

Before you could blink Loki had swept up next to you and grabbed your waist. His fingers rested on your hips and his lips were beside your ear.

"I think I could persuade you," he whispered.

Shivers ran down your spine as his voice reverberated in your ear. Your knees felt weak and he kissed your jawline. You turned to him and kissed him passionately, letting your fingers run through his hair. You both broke for breath and you sighed.

"I suppose I could accompany you," you said with your eyes still closed and head still spinning.

"Lovely," Loki said simply. "I will appreciate the defense against those hags who always harass me," he added.

"Hags?" you asked, thinking of old ladies in witch hats.

"At these sorts of functions there are always the desperately single women who apparently have no other prospects and so they fling themselves at me. It's atrocious. They never have any class or tact."

"Oh, it must be so hard to be so coveted," you mocked.

Loki gave an ironic smile. "It's not so much coveted as a last ditch attempt," he said.

"Well, you'd never be my last attempt. I'm not sure how I'll look in that though... It seems too much for me," you said, changing the subject. You looked over at the dress and frowned.

"Nonsense," Loki said, stealing a kiss before heading over to the dress. He brushed his hands over the fabric. "If anything, you'll outshine the dress."

***

Loki was not wrong. You stood, all dressed up in your gown, staring at the stranger in the mirror. Was that really you? The dress conformed perfectly to your curves and your curly hair fell in perfect waves around the neckline. Your boobs looked fantastic, you could hardly take your eyes off of them and you giggled at your immaturity. You felt hands slip around your waist as Loki came up behind you.

"I should tear that dress off of you," he growled in your ear. For a moment you considered letting him.

"After," you managed to whimper. You heard his low chuckle in response.

"I hope so," he whispered.

***

You were not prepared for the shear number of people in the Grand Hall. At least a thousand people, all dressed to perfection, danced and talked in the large, open space. You gripped Loki's arm tightly as he led you into the carnival of people. Loki nodded and bowed to a few people here and there but for the most part, people gave you your space. They eyed you especially carefully since you were not recognized.

"Everyone's staring at me," you murmured to Loki. "They know I don't belong here."

Loki chuckled at you.

"That is not the reason, my love, I assure you."

You looked up and saw his eyes flicker over your cleavage and the rest of your form. He was implying that everyone was stunned by your beauty? That seemed ridiculous... and yet you felt a sudden blush and surge of confidence. It was nice to be noticed for once.

You and Loki headed over to grab some food and wine before dancing. Loki led you as you ungracefully stepped on his toes and stepped off beat. You both laughed it off and after a while you seemed to get the hang of some of the basic steps.

The whole evening, while you were trying to enjoy your time with Loki, you felt eyes on you. And it wasn't just the eyes of people admiring you, it was something ominous. It felt as though every so often someone held a damp cloth to the back of your neck. You'd turn around but couldn't notice anyone in particular.

In between dances, a very pretty young lady came up to Loki. It appeared that she and Loki knew each other, as they did not introduce themselves. You watched as Loki accepted her invitation to dance with chagrin. He kissed you before he left, frowning at the girl behind her back. You were a little grateful for the reprieve and went back over to the food to refuel. As you were draining another glass of wine, a man approached you.

"What a charming dress," he said. He was tall with long, floppy hair and a small mustache. His clothes were purple with gold embroidery. He looked at you with what you guessed was an attempt at flirtatiousness.

"Uh, thanks," you muttered. "It's not really mine."

"Well, it should be," he held out his hand. "I'm Prince Arian," he said. You took his hand wearily, feeling like that cloth was on your neck again.

You gave him your name regretfully and pulled your hand away as soon as necessary. You looked over to see Loki dancing with that woman, looking seriously bored.

"Are you from Asgard?" he asked.

Not feeling like giving this stranger your whole life's story, you lied.

"Yes."

"You're the one they talked about. The one with the Dark Prince," he seemed to almost want to gossip with you. You turned to him and caught him looking down your dress. You shifted, trying to turn away from him a little without being too rude. You were already on shaky ground with Odin.

"Uh, I'm with Loki, yeah," you said a little more defensively than you meant.

"Lucky man," Arian said. "May I request a dance with you, m'lady? I have been watching you all night and am afraid I would regret it if I did not ask."

You looked him over once more. He was exceptionally skinny with hollowness under his eyes. You were afraid to say no, knowing he held much more sway here than you did.

"Alright," you said after watching Loki still dancing.

"Marvelous," Arian responded enthusiastically.

He took your hand and pulled you briskly to the dance floor. The orchestra played a slower song as you and Arian joined hands. His hand rested a little too far down your back for you liking, but he kept his other hand in yours for the moment so at least you had half of the control. He was less skilled a dancer than Loki and your movements with him were jumpy and forced. He seemed not to noticed and stared into your eyes. You looked away, trying to focus on anything but the most uncomfortable feeling in your gut. To your horror, he began to speak during your dance.

"You are quite beautiful," he said almost to himself.

"Thanks," you answered dully.

"Loki is very very lucky. If he isn't careful, someone might just sweep you away."

You almost laughed at him because he thought he would be capable of that.

"I don't think I'm going anywhere," you said.

"You never know," he said. You turned to see a strange twinkle in his eyes. You were about to ask what he meant by that but you heard a familiar voice behind you and Arian slowed.

"May I cut in?" Loki asked.

You nearly fainted with relief, not having realized how much you missed Loki's comforting presence.

"Please," Arian said with fake pleasantry.

You basically jumped into Loki's arms and he smirked as he stole you away leaving Arian watching you carefully from afar.

"Oh thank you, thank you," you breathed as you snuggled under Loki's chin. You breathed in his scent and melded yourself to his body.

"We both had unfortunate partners," Loki laughed. "I never like Arian," he added.

"Me either," you decided.

"It's getting late," Loki said. "Do you want to retire?"

Before you could answer you felt a tap on your shoulder. You feared it was Arian but when you turned around it was merely Thor, beaming at you with an extended hand. Loki stopped dancing and looked at his brother.

"Brother, could I possibly steal your lady for a dance?" Thor asked.

Loki looked at you and you smiled. You could see that the forced social interaction was wearing on him.

"I'll just have one dance and then meet you in the room?" you asked. "You look like you need rest."

Loki gave you a tired smile and kissed you. He let his hand linger before turning.

"Don't be too long," he said with a small smile towards Thor.

"Just one dance," Thor promised.

You watched Loki leave and then turned to Thor.

"Shall we?" he asked.

Thor was very pleasant to be around. He was just a bright, happy puppy. He twirled you around and you found yourself laughing and talking with him easily. You watched with relief as Arian walked out of the Grand Hall and felt a weight lift off of your shoulders.

When the dance was over, true to his word, Thor let you go.

"May I walk you to your room?" he asked.

"That would be lovely," you answered.

Thor offered you his arm and you took it gladly. You and Thor walked through the hallways in a comfortable silence before he spoke.

"How are things with my brother?" he asked.

"They're... amazing," you answered. "Better than I could have ever dreamed."

"Don't worry about Odin," Thor said, as if reading your mind. "He will see eventually how good you are for one another."

"Thank you," you sighed, a little comforted.

You reached your room and stood by the door. Thor took your hand and kissed it.

"Goodnight, m'lady," he said and left.

You smiled and went inside. Immediately your face dropped. In front of you stood five large men, all with cuts and bruises on their faces and arms. Beneath them, kneeling, was Loki. He was gagged and chained with multiple cuts. He looked at you with frantic eyes. To their left stood Prince Arian, standing proudly. You deduced that they all must have attacked Loki and the bruises and cuts were from Loki's effective yet futile defense. It made you proud that he had gotten all five of them though.

Your heartbeat sped up in your chest as you closed the door behind you, knowing one of them would surely stop you if you tried to call for help. You walked a little closer, making yourself not run to Loki immediately.

"Hello, darling," Arian said. His words cut through the silence. You glanced at him and then back at Loki. Loki was still struggling in the chains, trying to break free. Tears formed in your eyes and you tried to stay strong. There still might be a way out of this. You turned your attention back to Arian and he smiled at you. You felt your gut churn. "Are you ready to make a choice?" he asked.


	21. Chapter 21

"What the hell are you talking about, Arian?" you asked, heatedly. "What are you doing?"

Arian looked calmly around him as if he were hosting a brunch.

"I am offering you a choice, if you would let me," he said evenly.

Loki struggled against his chains, his eyes burning holes into Arian.

"I'm all set, thanks," you spat at him.

"I don't think so," Arian smiled. "You see, I am used to getting what I want. And as of tonight, I want you."

He walked over to you slowly, each step echoing in the room.

"And like I said, I get what I want," he whispered next to you ear.

His hands moved your hair and you shivered, hating his touch. You heard Loki try to scream through his gag. Twice now he'd had to watch as other men intended to harm you.

"So, I am giving you a choice because I am nice," Arian smiled. "Either you come with me and your _lover_ ," he said the word like a curse, "can live, or you can stay here and watch my men rip him to shreds."

Arian watched your face carefully as you assessed his five bulky men. They could no doubt rip Loki apart and you swallowed hard, banishing the thought.

"What about Odin?" you asked. "Surely he--"

"Odin does not know we are here. He is still at the ball drinking rather heavily. No one knows but us. And when you leave, Loki will tell everyone you left him to go back to Midgard. Which of course, no one would think twice about."

With no exit strategy and no allies, you were helpless. Obviously you weren't going to let Loki be killed but the thought of going with this man and leaving Loki was almost unbearable. And yet... you didn't see another way out of it right now.

"If I leave with you... Loki will not be harmed?" you asked.

"Correct. Unless he attempts to have you rescued. And then, of course, I would be forced to kill both of you," Arian stated simply.

You shook your head in disbelief.

"Why me?" you begged. "I am nothing special."

Arian's eyes wandered down your body and back up before he answered.

"I think many men would argue with that statement," he said. "There's something different, exotic about you that is quite tantalizing. It irks me that Loki discovered it before I was able to. But no matter. You will be mine now anyway."

You cringed at the thought of belonging to this man, or any man. You swallowed down a sob and looked at Loki. His eyes were pleading with you. You could easily read them but had to ignore them. They pleaded _please do not go. Let them kill me._

You turned your head away and faced Arian.

"Fine," you said through gritted teeth. "Take me and let him go."

Arian grinned at his success and nodded to his men. The men lifted Loki up. "As soon as we are safely away they will release them, you have my word."

His word was not comforting but you had no other leverage.

"Can I at least say goodbye?" you asked hesitantly.

Arian stopped in his tracks and looked at you as if you'd just asked an absurd question.

"I suppose," he waved his hand dismissively.

You walked over to Loki and put your hands against his firm chest. Ghosts of earlier in the evening danced in your head: his hands on you, his breath in your ear. You would never feel those things again.

"Do not feel guilty, Loki," you said, not quite meeting his eyes. "I am doing this because I love you. I will be fine. Please do not risk anything for me. Move on and trust someone else to love you. I need you to do that for me," you said, finally looking in his eyes. They were on the verge of spilling over with tears. He shook his head no and closed his eyes. You leaned up and kissed him but Arian pulled you away before he could kiss you back.

"Alright that's enough," Arian said, roughly pulling you backwards.

You felt tears slide down your face as you cried silently. Arian walked a few feet and took the servant's hallway so no one would see you. Once outside you were forced into a carriage. Your whole body felt numb. The door slid shut and Arian sat opposite you, staring at you.

"You will love it in my kingdom," he said hopefully. He reached for your hand but you pulled away. "You will learn to love me," he promised. "It would not be the first time you have fallen for a man who took you."

You glared at him.

"I did not fall for the man who took me," you spat. "I fell for the man who let me go. And then I _chose_ to stay with him."

Arian's face fell. He chewed his lip in thought but did not say anything more.

The ride to his kingdom was bumpy and uncomfortable. You felt extremely tired but did not risk sleeping in front of Arian. When you finally reached the castle it was early in the morning. Arian led you through the swampy grounds to a less-than-decent palace. The stones were crumbling and everyone you passed was shabbily dressed. The whole place looked like you were walking through a deserted Renaissance fairground.

Arian led you to a large bedroom. It was simply furnished with a tiny window and only one door.

"You will stay in here for the time," he said, guiding you with a firm grip. "I have left you some books and some clothes. Food will arrive shortly for you. I have some business to attend to but I shall return for you once you have bathed and rested."

You yanked your arm out of his grasp and walked towards the bed. As soon as you sat down you realized how tired you really were. You watched as Arian stared at you. You felt as though he could see through your clothes and you tried your best not to flinch.

"Until then, my love," he bowed and exited the room.

You decided you could do nothing for now but rest. You slept, dreaming of Loki's desperate face begging you not to leave. _None of that matters now,_ you thought. Loki was safe and that was all that mattered. Whatever happened to you now was merely an effort to keep him alive. Yet you couldn't stop thinking of ways you might escape. It would take planning... But before you could plan anything you fell asleep.

You woke much later to a knock on your door. You didn't answer, but a young boy came in. He couldn't have been more than seventeen. He had a plump face and kind eyes.

"I have brought food, m'lady," he said, eyes downcast.

"(Y/n), please," you offered. He gave you the food. It looked like something out of a condemned restaurant. You tried to eat it, found you were hungry enough, and devoured the whole dish.

"Will you be needing anything?" he asked you.

"An escape plan," you murmured under your breath.

"What's that?" he asked, not having heard you.

"Nothing," you smiled. "Thanks."

The boy nodded and left. You took a quick bath and changed into more comfortable clothes. Well... they weren't exactly comfortable. Whatever they made clothes out of here was nothing like the fabric you were used to. It was scratchy and uncomfortable, but you couldn't keep wearing your expensive ballgown. Not only was it too much, it reminded you of how you had gotten here... and what you had left behind.

You sat on the bed with your head in your hands when you heard another knock. Glancing up, you saw that Arian had peeking his head in. You groaned, hating the mere sight of his stupid face.

"I thought we might take a walk around the grounds?" Arian asked.

You knew if you said no he would do something unpleasant so you simply got up and walked over to him, saying nothing.

He smiled and took your arm with force. You rolled your eyes and followed him around the grounds. There wasn't much to see. The ground was damp and the sky was gray. There wasn't much in the way of landscaping or trees of any sort. He showed you around the markets and the churches, all of which were unimpressive. He tried to make them sound better than they were but you weren't buying it, and neither were the people that lived there. Finally he brought you to the royal horse stables. Your eyes lit up with a new idea. _Steal a horse,_ the voice in your head said.

You watched as about three armed guards walked the perimeter of the stables and you frowned. You'd find a way, it would just take time. Arian showed you the fastest horses and the ones who gave them trouble. You listened, hoping it would help you should the time come. You glanced back at the palace and realized that you could see the stables from your room if you stood on a chair to reach the window to see out.

Arian saw you smiled and kissed your cheek which immediately dispelled your smile.

"So beautiful when you smile," he remarked, not noticing your obvious discomfort.

Eventually he led you back towards the palace. You complained of still being tired from the trip and asked if you could get some more sleep. He obliged, saying you only needed to join him for dinner.

You agreed, not knowing what other option you would have. He finally left you alone in your room and immediately you grabbed a chair and watched out the window. For a long time you watched the guards. They only changed shifts once as far as you could tell. There had to be a weakness in their security, you decided. You would find it eventually.

You sighed with a heavy heart and wandered over to the bed. You weren't exactly lying to Arian. You were tired. You laid down and pulled the covers over you. You ached with the loss of Loki's body pressed against yours. You cried for the situation and for what you thought Loki might be going through. You would see him again, you decided. This little shit prince couldn't keep you apart. You slept for a few more hours eventually and decided when you woke up to start really planning.


	22. Chapter 22

You wasted no time doing recon for your escape plan. During the day you were forced to accompany Arian around doing unimportant things; basically being his arm candy. Occasionally he would try to kiss you and you'd turn your cheek or step away, discretely denying him. He would give you a flicker of impatience but then a smile that said _I know you'll come around._ You hoped that delusion would hold until you could escape.

Every night for a week you studied the guard's behavior. The two stations you needed to worry about was the one in front of your door, and the one in front of the stables. The key was in the rotation of the guards. Every night, as you watched, the midnight guard would stagger in, seemingly drunk, and relieve the guard on duty. Usually the guard would go and search a nearby bush for his stash of alcohol. You knew he was your guy. The trickier part was the station outside your door. There were two guards on each side and they were never drunk. Luckily, you had a plan for this too.

That plan was Chum. Your boy servant had an unfortunate nickname. You had grown closer with him over the week that you'd been there. He was kind and you often shared your food with him. It was upon Chum who you were counting on to help you the most. You waited until he brought you dinner one night to approach him. You didn't want to trick him, but you didn't trust him enough to let him know your plan. You trusted him to do the strange task you asked though.

"Chum," you said, fluttering your long eyelashes at him. "I was wondering if you could do me a favor."

Chum looked at you expectantly, clearly ready to do whatever you asked.

"I was wondering if you would possibly bring me some of your clothes." He looked confused. You put on your prettiest smile and continued. "I get uncomfortable in my own clothes and yours look far more comfortable. I was just wondering if I could have a pair to lounge around in... and a hat maybe," you added.

"I don't think these rags are anything a princess should be wearing," Chum blushed. He was so sweet and innocent you almost felt bad.

"Well, I'm not a princess. It'll be our little secret," you added. "You'd be doing me a huge favor. Prince Arian would appreciate that."

Chum nodded.

"Alright, miss. That's easy enough. I will be back later this evening with them."

You thanked him and said goodbye until later.

While he was gone you readied your bag. You had some food and water stuffed in it. Soon, you heard a knock on the door. Hoping it was Chum, you waited as the person walked in. To your contempt, it was Arian. You hid the bag smoothly and turned to him.

"You look absolutely stunning in the moonlight," Arian noted. You tried not to blanch.

"Thanks," you answered meekly.

He was walking towards you with lust in his eyes. You had to find some way to distract him.

"We haven't yet spent the night together," Arian said, biting his lip. In truth, you hadn't even really kissed which was just lucky for you.

"That's true," you conceded.

"I think it's about time we changed that, don't you?" he asked lowly. No, you thought. Absolutely not.

"No," your mouth spurted without your consent. Shit... better cover that up. "I want to wait until we're married,"  you added with a fake smile.

Arian was clearly taken aback by this.

"Married?" he asked, arching an eyebrow.

"Yes," you said, trying to calm your heartbeat. This would buy you time at least. "I'm old fashioned," you added.

Arian nodded and suddenly slipped down on one knee.

"I would be honored if you would be my bride," he said. You nearly gagged.

"Uhh... great," you managed. He rose to your level and kissed your lips. You stayed cool on the outside while inside you were burning with hatred and repulsion.

"I will have us married tomorrow," he said.

"Looking forward to it," you responded. That did it. Your escape would be tonight.

"Until then," he bowed and thankfully left the room. You were incredibly grateful that he did not force himself upon you as much as he perhaps could have.

There was another, softer, knock at the door. Chum opened it and came in with a bag. He had brought you exactly what you'd asked for. Now was the hard part. You couldn't very well leave together. You needed the guards to think that Chum had left and you were still inside. You looked in the bag and sighed with relief that Chum had brought you an exact duplicate of his clothes. You felt bad doing this to him, but it wouldn't hurt him and it was necessary to the plan.

You entered the bathroom and changed into his clothes. You put your hair up in the hat. Without your hair and dressed like this, your similar height made you actually look quite like him if no one looked too closely.

You walked outside the bathroom and tried to be as nice as possible.

"I think the bath is broken," you said. "Could you take a look at it?"

"I'm not handyman," Chum blushed.

"But you are an intelligent boy," you cooed. "Would you mind just looking to see if I missed something obvious?"

Chum obliged and walked into the room. As soon as he was in there you closed the door and locked him in using a chair. You prayed he would not scream or at least no one would hear him for a while. You held your breath and let it out, calming yourself. You checked outside and right on time the drunk guard was walking to his station. You opened the doors and kept your head down. The guards merely glanced at you as you left, assuming you were a good-for-nothing servant.

You grinned to yourself and tried not to sprint to the stables. After making it out of the castle unnoticed you walked over to the stables. The drunk guard was half asleep against the wooden post. You walked past him but he snorted and woke up.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, wavering on his feet.

"Um... Prince Arian asked me to take the horses for a ride," you said, hoping your disguise would hold. The man reeked of drink and you prayed he would be too drunk to argue, or that you could take him if it came to that. "Official orders," you said with what you hoped was confidence.

"Gerdkaldbye," the guard slurred. You took that to mean go ahead and approached the horse that Arian claimed was the fastest.

Right now you would have kissed that horse, you were so grateful. You offered her your hand to sniff and she huffed her approval. She was completely black with one dot of white on her head. You smiled and pet her before releasing her from her stall. You mounted her and looked around you. Where would you go? You stupidly hadn't thought about that. Anywhere but here would be good, but Asgard would be better. You remembered your ride here. The sun had been rising over the castle. You decided that, with the dawn coming, you would head in the opposite direction.

You kicked your horse into gear and sped away from the dawn. You were riding for a long time before it finally kicked in: you were free! It didn't matter what happened so long as you made it back to Loki before Arian could find you. You hoped that he wouldn't realize you were gone until you were far enough away.

You kept going as fast as the horse would take you. For a while you didn't see anyone. You hoped you were following the right road. You didn't remember what any of the scenery was when you were being taken so that wasn't helpful. The road did not diverge though, so you followed it. After a while you saw someone in the distance. It was a lone figure. You slowed down, not wanting to attract attention to yourself. Hopefully the man on the horse would simply pass you by with no trouble. As he drew closer... you recognized him. At first your heart would not allow you to believe it. But you knew it was true. You'd know his body anywhere.

It was Loki.

You nearly fell off your horse with excitement. What was he doing here?!

He did not seem to recognize you or speed up as you did. You realized you were still wearing your boy clothes. You stripped off the hat and dismounted your horse. He was still quite a few yards away but you ran, somehow thinking that would bring you to him faster. You saw his head tilt to the side in wonder before he realized it too. He quickly dismounted and started running right towards you. You could feel the tears of relief stream down your face. You almost knocked him over when you hugged him. You both just held each other without a word. He clutched you tightly to him and you sobbed into his chest. Then you lifted your face and grabbed his with your hands. You kissed him as though he were the last breath of air in your drowning lungs. You clung to him as though he were the only thing tethering you to this planet.

You kissed for a long time before breaking for air. You did not separate your bodies at all. Your horses wandered closely nearby.

"How--" you stuttered. "Why--" no coherent thoughts followed those words.

"We can talk later," he said sternly. "Right now we need to get back before he finds us. I assume he does not know you left?" Loki gave you an approving smirk.

You nodded, confirming that.

"Alright, let's go," he said. He kissed you again before you both mounted your horses. You rode back with him, gazing at him, not believing this was real.

Once you got back to the safety of the palace, he dragged you to him and kissed you again. The townspeople stared but you didn't care.

"Come on," he said, taking your hand. He brought you to your room and led you to the bed. "Tell me everything," he said.

You told him about your escape and everything it had entailed. You smiled at his approving nods and grins. Once it was all out you saw him hesitate.

"What is it?" you asked.

"Did he... touch you? Hurt you?" he asked.

"No," you answered truthfully. "I held him off saying I wanted to wait until I was married," you laughed. Loki chuckled but still looked at you seriously.

"I am sorry I waited so long," he said, taking your hands. "I couldn't risk your life by trying to save you but I also couldn't leave you there with _him."_

You nodded, understanding.

"What you did... for me..." he trailed off, trying to find words that wouldn't come to him.

"Loki, I don't regret it," you said. "I would do it again in a heartbeat."

"I hope you never have to. You shouldn't have had to," he said. "I promised I would keep you safe." His eyes fell, ashamed. You lifted his chin with your finger and kissed him lightly.

"It's okay," you said. "I can keep myself safe," you smiled. You gestured to your body. "See? One piece."

Loki nodded, but wasn't convinced. You sighed and moved to lay down. He lay behind you, holding you close to him.

"He will come after you," Loki said softly, kissing your neck.

"I assumed as much," you sighed.

"I will take care of it," Loki said darkly.

You sat up and looked at him. He was laying calmly in the bed, looking up at you.

"What do you mean?" you asked carefully.

"I will take care of him," Loki repeated. "In a way that is just."

"You will not kill him," you ordered. You didn't want any blood on Loki's hands, guilty or not.

"Who said anything about killing?" Loki said smoothly. "Maiming, torturing..." he was only half joking you could tell.

"I'm serious," you said, turning to him. "I don't want that."

Loki stopped smiling and nodded.

"As you wish," he whispered.

You lay back down and moved so you were laying on top of him.

"You would not believe how much I missed you," you said, watching your hair dangled over him, brushing his face. He moved some strands behind your ear.

"Really?" he asked, really asking.

"Yes," you answered.

"After you left..." he swallowed hard. "I... didn't know what to do. I told father and the others that you went back to Midgard to visit family... That you would be back because I hoped... I hoped I could get you back."

You nodded, kissing his neck as he continued to talk.

"I felt so... empty. An emptiness I had never felt before. It was tearing me apart. I wanted to charge Arian's castle every day but I couldn't risk it. It was pure torture without you. Eventually I just took my horse and... ended up on my way there. It was stupid, I didn't even have a plan, just the mindset that I needed you. I never want us to be apart again," he said. You hummed in agreement, reveling in the taste of his skin. He shifted beneath you and rolled you over so you were underneath him.

"What you said to Arian," he said. You knitted your brows together in confusion. "Do... you want that?"

"What?" you asked.

"Marriage," he said, searching your eyes.

You shifted uncomfortably.

"Um... I'm not sure. Maybe, eventually," you stammered. Loki nodded. You saw the look in his face, disappointed. "Hey," you said, pulling his attention back to you. "I would want that eventually... with you."

He looked immensely relieved. He kissed you and you felt your body ache for him. You both carefully undressed as though you were both made of glass. Every caress was light and sensual. You took your time, making up for all the time apart. You made love slowly, tasting every bit of each other and memorizing every inch of skin. You came undone together and sputtered words like _I love you_ mixed with each others names in incoherent bliss.

You thought about what Arian had said about you falling in love with your captor. You looked over at Loki sleeping beside you and knew it was not true. As you curled up next to him, feeling his warm skin on yours you knew: you did not fall in love with a monster, you fell in love with a man.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for your lovely comments/kudos <3

When Loki brought it up, you knew it had to happen but dreaded it. Odin would have to be told of the truth of your departure. You walked with Loki hand in hand to the Grand Hall where Odin sat on his throne, staring down at you. Thor stood to his side and smiled lightly at you when you entered. You tried to return the smile but failed. Odin had only been told that Loki needed to tell him something important but not anything specific. Your chest felt tight and your palms sweated. You had no idea how Odin would respond. Hopefully Arian was not a big enough threat for you to have caused any damage should he choose to attack and try to steal you away again.

You kept your head lowered as Loki led you up in front of Odin. You felt Loki's hand shift as he snaked his arm around your waist, pulling you closer to him and supporting you. Sometimes you thought he could read your mind because that is exactly what you needed at this moment.

Odin gave you an interested glance and turned to Loki.

"Well?" he asked.

"Father," Loki started. "My lady did not in fact leave to visit Midgard as I originally told you..."

Loki went on to describe your abduction and the reasons he had to lie to his father and the rest of the people of Asgard. Odin listened, flickering glances towards you every now and then with an unreadable expression. You tried to focus on Loki's even voice. Thor listened with rapt attention to his brother, never faltering his gaze to you until the end.

"I see," Odin said once everything had been laid out. He stroked his chin in thought for a moment before turning to you. "And do you have anything to add to this account?" he asked you.

You shook your head, risking a glance at him. To your surprise, he seemed to be almost... smiling. The confusion must have been obvious on your face because Odin gave a light chuckle.

"What?" he asked. "You are confused why I approve?"

"Well... I... I put your son, your kingdom in danger... I--" you stuttered, not really knowing how to defend yourself.

"You saved my son," Odin corrected. You felt Loki's gaze move to you and suddenly felt like a giant spotlight had fallen upon you and you were expected to sing and dance.

"What?" you asked, sure you misheard.

"From what Loki has just told me, you could have let him die and saved yourself a lot of trouble," Odin recalled lightly. "Is this false?"

"No... But I--"

"You chose to save my son and sacrifice yourself to that... degenerate, Arian," Odin said. "Not to mention a daring escape."

"I suppose," you responded. "But... I didn't really think about it... I just knew that I couldn't let him die. I didn't really think about anything involving my fate."

You felt Loki's hand tighten around your waist as he leaned down to kiss your temple.

"Exactly," Odin said, leaning back in his chair. "You did not think of yourself, only Loki. And I think you have done it."

"Done what?" you asked, still surprised that Odin was impressed with you.

"Proved yourself," Odin answered.

You glanced at Thor to see him beaming at you. You felt yourself blush.

"Oh... I..." you couldn't even respond. You hadn't done it for Odin of course, but if he thought that you were worthy of his son... you weren't going to try to dissuade him. "Thank you," you finally finished.

Odin nodded and took a deep breath. Things seemed to air out, relax.

"As for Arian, well, I'm sure you saw the state of his kingdom. They are not a threat. You are safe here with us," Odin added. Your heart lightened at this.

Thor moved towards you with outstretched arms. Loki stepped back and allowed his brother to hug you. Your ribs almost bruised at the strength of the hug but you smiled, enjoying the affirmation.

"Thank you," Thor whispered in your ear. It was such a simple phrase and yet he said it as though he owed you the world. You did not care to point out that it was probably you that put Loki in danger in the first place.

The moment Thor had left you, Loki's arm was around you again. You bid the King and Thor good evening and left the room. Once you were outside you felt you could breathe again. There was just something about their presence that made you antsy.

You and Loki decided to spend the remainder of the day in the library curled up in one of the chairs next to the fire. The chair was big enough for you to comfortably sit in Loki's lap while he read and played with your hair. You were devouring your own book when his voice interrupted your reading.

"What?" you asked, not having processed whatever he had said.

"Would you like dinner?" he asked with a small smile on his face. He knew he would have to repeat himself. He always did when you got lost in your books.

"Oh," you laughed. "Yes, perhaps we should eat."

Before you got up you realized you had wanted to mention something earlier but had forgotten.

"Loki," you said, forcing his attention back to you for a moment. "You know I didn't do all that for Odin right? I wasn't trying to prove anything to him."

Loki arched an eyebrow.

"I didn't just make that choice to go with Arian and save you as some way to prove to Odin that I was worthy of you... I did it for myself and for you. Of course I wanted to save you but another part of me wanted to know if I... If I actually was worthy of you. If I could make the right sacrifice for you."

Loki listened and then pulled you in to a kiss. His cool lips fit perfectly with yours and you wanted to live in that moment for ever.

"You need not prove anything to me, my love," he whispered. "I thought I told you that."

"I... Needed it... for me. Sometimes I think... I'm not worth all this trouble you have to go through. Sometimes I think that you're better off without--"

Loki cut you off with a kiss and then pulled away, cupping your face in his hands.

"Stop," he ordered. "Do not ever think like that. You have no idea what I would do to keep you safe, happy, and by my side. You are worth everything to me."

His voice was so calm and direct, you had no choice but to believe him.

"I love you," you barely whispered.

He kissed you hard, moving his tongue between your lips and leaving you dizzy.

"I wish there were stronger words than that... It seems to me that _love_ is merely the surface of the feelings I have for you," Loki breathed against your lips.

He kissed you quickly one last time before pulling away.

"Dinner?" he asked again.

You kissed him fiercely, running your hands through his hair, uncaring that you were in a public space.

"It can wait," you decided, nipping at his lower lip.

You heard him growl softly.

The two of you nearly sprinted to the bedroom. After you were through, sure that the whole kingdom heard the both of you, you laid together in your bed, staring up at the canopy, breathing heavy.

You wrapped yourself around him, tangling his limbs with yours, feeling his luscious skin on your skin. You kissed his shoulder and laid your head on his chest.

"Is this what it is like?" he asked quietly.

You turned your head up to him slowly, not sure what he was talking about.

"What what is like?" you asked.

"To be... complete?"

You sighed happily and nuzzled closer to him.

"Yes," you answered. "I believe it is."


	24. Chapter 24

It's funny how used to things you can get. After a few more weeks it felt like you'd always lived in this palace, been with Loki, and been this happy. However, you had started to notice a change in Odin. Whenever you and Loki were out of your room, just happening to pass him, or at dinner, you noticed that Odin started to look... tired. That was the only way you could put it. He seemed to be getting older, something you had not considered him to be. Even with his white hair, he still had held that glow of power around him. Now, you could tell, that power was draining. You assumed he must have been very old at this point so it shouldn't have been surprising. Still, people began to take notice.

Odin's personal servant, Eowin, for instance, became more like a third arm for Odin. He was a large man, not one you would have thought would be hired as a servant. You had only seen Eowin in the background in the past and hadn't given him much thought. Now it seemed that Odin leaned on him constantly.

One night, at dinner, you were enjoying Loki's company with you heard a sudden thump. You turned to see that Odin had fallen out of his chair, unconscious. He was quickly rushed to the healing wing. You, Thor, and Loki were kept outside while the healers set to work, trying to revive the king. Thor paced nervously while Loki stood like a statue, staring out of the window. You slid your hand and intertwined it with Loki's. He seemed to almost jump, having been lost in thought. Eowin kept badgering the healers to let him in but they would not.

After a few hours, a healer came out of Odin's room with a grim expression.

"It's not good," she conceded. "The King is... quite near death. I'm sorry, there's no other way to put it."

Thor punched the wall, leaving a large dent. Loki frowned and put his hand to his chin in thought.

"There's nothing we can do but make him comfortable," she continued. "I'm sorry. He is just very old now. I think he has only days left"

You thanked the healer because the boys were too wrapped up in their own thoughts to respond to her. Eowin quickly found his way into Odin's room. Thor followed him shortly afterwards with heavy shoulders. Loki turned to you.

"Do you want to go in?" you asked.

"I'm not sure," he responded.

"You don't have to."

"But what if he dies and I never said goodbye?" Loki asked. He looked truly vulnerable and it broke your heart.

"Do you want to say goodbye?" you asked. He thought for a moment.

"I think I should try," he said.

You nodded and took his hand. Thor left right before you entered looking as though he were holding back tears. You walked into the room. Odin looked significantly smaller in the hospital bed. He had different orbs floating around him, registering his vitals. You tried not to stare too much.

"Father," Loki mustered.

"Loki," Odin responded weakly.

Loki took a seat next to Odin's bed. Eowin was perched at the foot of Odin's bed, watching the two of you like a hawk as if you were going to murder the king any second.

"I must tell you something," Odin said. Loki nodded in encouragement. "I know that you cannot be king because your blood is not my blood. Please don't take it out on Thor." Loki stiffened. "Find a way to do good in your own way. You don't need to be king for that."

You thought that Odin's words, while good and intuitive, missed something. Although he mentioned not being Loki's blood, he did not amend that statement with any sort of sentimentality. You would have thought he might have added something like _Even though you're not my blood, I consider you my son._ But no. That was not stated even in subtext. Loki was trying to control his breathing and you slipped your hand into his again, trying to calm him.

You tried to focus on Loki and Odin but the glare that Eowin was giving off was like a dagger. You had no idea why he hated you both so much, but it was disconcerting to say the least. You chalked it up to his master being fatally ill at the moment.

After a moment, Loki spoke.

"Quite right," he said, his voice strained. "Thank you, father. Goodbye"

He then stood abruptly and left, pulling you with him. You gave Odin an apologetic smile, wondering if it would be the last time you'd see him. Odin smiled back and you seemed to share some sort of moment, although what he was thinking you had no idea.

***

Loki did not speak the entire walk back to your bedroom. He kept his hand firmly in yours and you almost had to jog to keep up with his pace. Something was wrong and you wouldn't have been surprised if he was about to go do something violent.

Sure enough when you broke into your room he dropped your hand, walked over to the wall that he'd punched before, and started ramming his fist against it. He let his anger fuel his punches, knocking away the stone bit by bit. You sighed and walked calmly over to him, no longer threatened by his tendencies. You calmly slid your arms around his waist, careful to avoid his punching hand, and held it. You felt his hand still and he looked down at you. You snuggled closer to him and sighed, holding him tight.

"Breathe," you reminded him when you felt his still chest.

Loki let out a long sigh and then breathed in. He took a few more breaths and then slid his hand around your waist.

"Sorry," he murmured into your hair.

"What are you thinking?" you prompted him. He needed to use his words, not his fists.

"I'm thinking..." Loki sighed, knowing you wouldn't let this go until he let it out. "I'm thinking that even on his death bed, my father cannot claim me as his son."

It was as you had deduced in the healing ward then. That distance between them could not be healed.

"I'm sorry," you tried, not knowing what else to say. "He doesn't deserve you anyway," you added honestly.

"I just... I wanted a father, you know?" he said.

"I know," you answered. "But if he wasn't willing to accept you as his son, that's his loss. He doesn't know what he's missing," you said, looking up at him. Loki looked down at you and gave you a sad smile.

"Thank you, little one," he said softly.

You knew that this would not heal him completely, but it helped him to talk about it.

"And he was right," you added. "You can do a lot of good, even by Thor's side. Who cares about the title."

Loki nodded.

"I think that if this were to happen a year ago, I would not agree... But those words coming from your lips makes sense," he said.

You smiled, glad to have made an impact.

***

The healers had overestimated his time left. Odin died the very next morning. The funeral was to be held that night, and Thor's coronation would be the following day. There was so much happening at once it made your head spin. You couldn't imagine was it would be like for Loki or Thor.

Odin's funeral followed the same format as Frigga's had. You and Loki kept your distance again, letting others rotate around you while you stood sort of surrealistically on the outskirts. Loki did not have the same restless nights as with his mother's death though. He seemed at peace for the moment, with everything that came with Odin's passing. You were sure a part of him had always felt as though he were an orphan and this was just the physical representation of that.

After the funeral, Thor had pulled you aside and asked to speak to you.

"What is it?" you asked, concerned. "Is something wrong?"

"No," he answered. "I just wanted to ask you how Loki is doing."

"Oh," you said. "He's... doing his best. I think this will be easier for him than Frigga... But I'll be there for him."

Thor gave you a kind smile.

"I know you will be. And I thank you for that." He looked around nervously for a moment and it made you antsy.

"What?" you finally asked.

"I just... Do you think I'll make a good king?" Thor asked finally, looking at you with puppy dog eyes.

You almost laughed at the question.

"Of course, Thor,"  you smiled. "Why would you even question that?"

Thor gave a relieved smile.

"Thank you," he said, sighing.

"Why do you care what I think anyway?" you asked.

Thor pulled his eyebrows together in confusion.

"I respect you," he answered. "I think you are a strong, intelligent woman. Any woman who can handle my complex brother so well is truly wise and knowledgeable."

You blushed.

"Thank you," you said softly. Thor nodded. "I should be getting back to Loki," you said. Thor agreed and you went your separate ways.

***

You and Loki had front row seats to the coronation. Everyone was dressed up. Eowin stood in the corner brooding. He had not accepted Odin's death. He watched Thor carefully, but kept switching his glances to glare at you and Loki. Thor was crowned and everything felt equal parts sad and hopeful. Loki stayed silent through the process and kept his face blank. You did not know what this meant. You hoped he was happy for his brother but it seemed unlikely.

You rubbed the back of his hand as Thor made his speech about how he would be a good ruler. Loki looked over at you and actually smiled a little. This made you feel a lot better for some reason. Perhaps he had just been lost in thought. As the crowd clapped for Thor's cliche speech, Loki kissed you on the cheek.

"Thank you," he whispered. You arched an eyebrow in question. "For being here," he said.

You leaned up and kissed his lips.

"I wouldn't be anywhere else," you answered.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for the kudos and comments, they're really appreciated :) <3

You knew he was the God of Mischief, but with that face, you were sent a clear reminder. Loki looked at you with a grin and a spark in his eyes as he told you he had to run an errand. When you offered to come with him, he easily refused without offending you. You knew something was up but you didn't know what. All he said was that he would be back later.

You indulged him and he nearly sprinted out of the room to do whatever it was that he needed to do. You lazed around your bedroom for a while reading, snoozing, playing with Ginny. You opened both your night stand and Loki's and organized everything. Having cleaned, you realized how truly bored you were so you decided to go for a walk. It was the mid morning and the light from the sun was flowing nicely through the windows of the palace. You let your feet take you where they wanted and you strolled around for a long time. You waved or said hello to people you knew, not having any end goal in mind.

Suddenly, you heard a man shriek. You picked up your dress and ran towards the voice. It sounded like they might be in trouble. You rounded the corner, your heart in your throat, when you saw him.

Thor was laying on the ground. A look at his closed eyes and stillness told you he was at least unconscious. Eowin was standing over him trying to wake him. He moved Thor's cape and revealed a stab wound in Thor's side. You gasped and Eowin turned to see you. More people were coming now, having heard the shriek. You stared at Eowin in horror as he stood up.

"I just found him!" Eowin exclaimed earnestly.

The people surrounding him listened intently. You raced forward and ripped his cape. You used it to soak up the blood coming out of the wound. A closer look at his head informed you that he had been hit as well. He was still breathing though and he wasn't too pale so that was something.

"I found him in the hallway like this, oh no, oh no," Eowin sounded desperate.

"Who did it?" someone in the crowd asked. "Who could have done such a thing?"

You barely listened as you focused on Thor's wound. It didn't seem too bad, but who knew what was really going on under all that armor... and that head wound...

"We need healers, now!" you yelled. A servant from the back of the crowd nodded and sprinted away.

"Is he hurt badly?" someone else asked.

"No... I... Don't think so at least. He'll live if we get him help now," you answered.

You heard people shifting as someone made their way into the center. You looked up and saw Loki. His jaw was dropped and he looked paler than usual.

"It was him!" Eowin shouted, pointing at Loki. "It must have been! Think about it."

"Loki did not do this, Eowin," you spat at him.

"How do you know?" he asked. "Where you with him?" he raised an eyebrow.

"Well... no..."

"It makes sense," Eowin continued. Loki watched him with a morbid interest. "There's only one spot away from the throne for him now. He kills Thor before there's an heir and it's all his," Eowin said, almost as if he'd rehearsed it.

Loki rolled his eyes. The crowd seemed to back away from him and they murmured to themselves.

"I would never have done this," Loki said evenly. "First of all, I do not wish my brother dead. Secondly, I would never be this sloppy."

"Loki," you hissed. You gave him a look like _not the time to prove how clever you are._

Finally the healers arrived. They lifted him with magic and carried him away. You stood with the bloody piece of Thor's cape still in your hands, trembling. You walked over to Loki and he held you in his arms.

"He's a murderer," Eowin said, forcing tears to his eyes.

"Thor is not deceased," Loki pointed out.

"Attempted murderer then," Eowin amended. "I am going to be with my  _king,"_ Eowin decided. He marched past you and Loki. "We'll let the evidence be the judge of what happened."

Eowin shot you a dirty look before heading off. What evidence? This was all so strange. There was no way Loki had anything to do with this. Of that you were sure.

"Loki, we should go see your brother," you said, looking up at Loki. His gaze was on Eowin.

"Mmm," he muttered.

"I'll go grab us some books and blankets so we can stay nearby. I have a feeling it'll be a long night. Go and I'll meet you there."

You kissed him quickly and left him staring while you went to you room. You opened the door and almost had a heart attack. You thought you were in the wrong room for the moment until you realized you weren't. Eowin was rummaging through Loki's night stand.

"What do you think you're doing?" you asked sharply.

Eowin spun around to face you, a dagger in hand. He looked from the knife to you.

"I found this," he said. "I found this in his drawer. Look, it has blood on it."

On closer inspection it did appear that the knife was bloody. You felt a little sick.

"Guards!" Eowin yelled louder than you thought possible. He held the knife up for them to see. "See, look, I found the weapon in Prince Loki's drawer."

The guards looked at each other and made to leave, presumably to arrest Loki.

"Wait," you said. "I cleaned those drawers this morning, there's no way Loki would have come back and hidden the knife after Thor. He wouldn't have had time. He arrived from the complete opposite direction."

The guards looked at you and considered this.

"Where was he?" one of them asked you.

"I don't know... He said it was a special errand, you'd have to ask him," you said.

The guards agreed and followed you down to the healing wing. Thor was still out cold but at least now he was bandaged up and being taken care of. Loki sat next to his bed, watching him. He looked up at you when you entered, at first relieved and then concerned when he saw the guards.

"They um, need to know where you were today," you said sheepishly. "Eowin 'found' a dagger in your night stand... obviously not yours since I cleaned it out this morning and you wouldn't have had time to hide it if you had done it," you rambled. "But they want to know where you were and I didn't know so I brought them here."

Loki nodded, understanding. He motioned for you to stay with Thor as he brought the guards outside. You heard muffled discussion and wondered what he was telling them that he wasn't telling you.

After a while, Loki returned and closed the door to the room.

"It was obviously Eowin," Loki said calmly, walking back over and taking a seat on the chair again. He patted his lap. You slid yourself onto his lap and wrapped your arms around him. "Sloppy work too," Loki chided. "Trying to hide the attempted murder weapon in a night stand? Amateur hour," he said. "I would assume he thought if he framed me they would kill me and I would no longer be a threat to their precious blood line." Loki shrugged.

You were concerned about his light tone.

"The guards... were convinced?" you asked.

"They were once I told them where I was and that someone could confirm it, yes," Loki answered easily.

You gulped, not wanting to ask, but needing to.

"Um, Loki?" you started.

"Where was I?" he guessed your question. You nodded.

Loki sighed and pushed you gently off of him.  You stood and he got up off of the chair to face you.

"I did not want to do it like this," he grumbled, reaching into his pocket.

"Do what--" you stopped when you saw it.

The ring.

Loki knelt down on one knee and looked up at you. He held an emerald ring with a silver band in his hands. The stone was something more though. It looked as though it had hundreds of swirling stars within it. You gaped.

"The jeweler confirmed my alibi... This is how they do it on Midgard, is it not?" Loki asked, concerned when you didn't say anything.

"Yes," you gasped.

"And they ask... Well, I will ask... Would you... I love you, (y/n)... Will you honor me... I mean you said one day that maybe..." You had never seen Loki so unsure or insecure before, it was melting your heart. "Would you be my wife?" he finally asked. He searched your eyes for the answer.

"Yes," you blurted out before your mind had any time to object. Not that it would, you realized after. Saying yes was the only answer.

Loki looked as though he had the weight of the world lifted off of his shoulders. He stood and pulled you to him, kissing you fiercely.

"This was not how I'd planned it," he said, his lips close against yours.

"I don't care," you managed. "It was perfect."

"Congratulations are in order I guess," you heard a weak voice say.

You turned to see Thor trying to sit up in bed. He was gazing at the two of you warmly.

"Don't move!" you cautioned him. You quickly moved to his side and laid him back down. Loki called for a healer.

"I'm fine," Thor said, wincing.

"You are not," you countered, pushing him back down.

"Eowin," he said. Loki turned to him. "It was Eowin."

"We know," Loki said.

"I am ashamed to say he got the drop on me," Thor said.

"It is not that hard," Loki jested.

"Oh you two," you smiled.

" _You_ two," Thor grinned. You stood and took your place by Loki's side. His hand wrapped around you and you stood in front of Thor. "I like this," Thor declared.

"Yeah," you said, looking at your ring and then back up to Loki. "I like it too."


	26. Chapter 26

Thor healed quicker than you had thought he might. Within the week he was almost back to new. You and Loki visited him several times while he was healing and each time he was grateful for the company. It seemed that after your engagement, he admired you even more. You suspected he gave you far more credit than you were due. You hadn't changed Loki, you had simply allowed him to be a better version of himself. Nonetheless, Thor's admiring gaze was nice.

Since Loki's change in attitude had been so apparent, Thor had allowed the two of you a servant. Although you hated the idea of having someone work for you while you could manage by yourself, you had to admit you didn't mind having your food brought to you in the mornings. The servants were treated well. They were given three meals a day and had adequate sleeping quarters. And you made sure to always be extraordinarily nice to them. Your newly assigned servant was a young boy by the name of Darren. He was around twelve years old with bright pink cheeks and sweet eyes.

One morning, while Loki was away, you caught Darren staring at a book you'd left on the table. Smiling, you spoke to him.

"You can borrow that if you like."

Darren immediately shook his head. His face turned pink.

"I can't, m'lady," he answered.

"No, really, it's fine. You can tell people I told you to take it," you said, not sure why he'd get in trouble for having a book.

"It's not that m'lady. I... I can't read," he admitted, lowering his head in shame.

"Can't read?" you repeated, not believing.

"None of us can," he informed you. None of the servants could read? That seemed ridiculous.

"Why not?" you asked, hoping not to scare him off.

"Those of us that are born here are just never taught," he shrugged.

"Would you like to learn?" you asked tentatively.

Darren's head snapped up with a large smile.

"I would," he answered.

"I could teach you, if you wanted," you offered.

You weren't sure how good you'd be at teaching but it was worth a shot. Just then Loki entered the room.

"I should be going," Darren said, bowing.

"I'll think up a lesson plan for next time, okay?" you smiled.

He nodded and bowed to Loki before leaving. Loki barely looked at him, his eyes fixed on you. Loki strode across the room and wrapped you in his arms. He dipped you and kissed you. You giggled into the kiss, not knowing where this was coming from.

"Hello to you too," you chuckled. His warm eyes gazed at you affectionately.

"Hello," he smiled.

"What was all that for?" you asked.

"All that was for my fiance," he said lowly.

"Ah," you said smiling. You smiled a lot these days, especially when you looked at your ring.

"Did I hear you say something about a lesson plan?" he asked.

"Yes," you answered. "Did you know that most of the servants can't read?"

Loki walked over to the bed and laid down, patting the space next to you.

"I suppose I knew that, why does it matter?" he asked.

You joined him on the bed, slipping off your shoes. You laid next to him, propping your head up on your elbows to watch him.

"Can you imagine not being able to read?" you asked him. He frowned.

"No," he answered.

"Neither can I. I plan to teach them."

"Teach them?" he asked, now turning to look at you. "Why?"

"Because everyone has the right to learn how to read. They would be happier too, I'm sure of it."

Loki looked at you carefully as if considering something. He leaned up and kissed your lips delicately.

"You never cease to surprise me," he said. "I never would have considered that."

You sighed, settling next to him.

"So you're on board?"

"I am on board," he answered, smiling. "You... are something else," he added. "How did I get so lucky?"

"I don't know," you jested. He then surprised you by tickling you. You laughed until you were out of breath. Your hair was tousled so you could only see Loki through your curls. He moved his hand to tuck some strands behind your ear.

"I am the luckiest man in all the realms," he said sincerely.

He kissed you then and held you to him.

"I cannot wait to be your husband."

"Nor I your wife," you smiled.

He kissed you again and soon enough you were both naked, ravishing each others bodies. You knew he completed you by the way he fit inside you, filling you up in every sense. You climaxed together and laid in silence for some time until you fell asleep.

After your nap, you awoke to a late afternoon sun. An idea dawned on you. This might be a good time to bring up the idea of lessons to Thor. Surely he would help you set up some kind of system.

Loki was still sleeping so you left him a note and wandered the palace looking for Thor. He was in the grand hall with a few guards. When he saw you, he waved you over.

"Good afternoon," Thor smiled. "How are you today?"

"I am well, and yourself?" you asked.

"Just fine," he answered.

"Thor," you asked tentatively. "I was wondering if I could ask your help?"

"Anything for you, m'lady," he answered.

"Well, I was wondering... Some of your servants. They can't read... and I was wondering if I could maybe teach some of them? It wouldn't interfere with their duties, I would make sure of it. And they'd benefit immensely and--" you rambled but saw Thor beaming at you. "What?" you asked.

"Of course, m'lady," he laughed. "I think it is a brilliant idea and I'm annoyed I did not think of it myself. I will supply you with a room and tell my people to inform the servants that the class is open. When shall I tell them they are to attend?"

You didn't think it would be this easy. Apparently being in Thor's esteem got you what you wanted.

"Oh... um, tonight?" you tried. Why not tonight?

"Very well," he said. "I will send you the information about the room when I see where would be best."

"Thank you," you said sincerely. "I... honestly this is so great," you smiled.

"I owe you," he said. "And yet, this seems like less of a repayment of that debt and more of something I shall be more indebted to you for."

You left with a smile on your face and thought about what to do for your first lesson. When you returned, Loki was reading by the fireplace. He looked up when you entered and smiled.

"How did it go?" he asked.

You plopped down on his lap and curled into him. He smelled amazing and you wanted to just live in his lap.

"I will begin teaching tonight," you said happily.

"Tonight?" he asked.

"Yes."

"I forgot I would have to share you with others for this endeavor," he grumbled.

"A small price to pay I'm afraid," you said, nuzzling into him.

"Well, I shall walk you back from your class when it is over," he decided.

"Mmm," you hummed your agreement, suddenly sleepy. There was a knock on the door but you were not about to get up. "Come in," you said.

Darren entered with a piece of paper. You told him to bring it to you. It had the room and the time for your class. Darren smiled and told you he would be there. You thanked him and told him you'd see him later.

Loki read to you for a while until you had dinner. Then it was time for class. You decided on simply starting with the alphabet. When you entered the room, you had expected maybe ten students to be there. There were at least fifty people, maybe more, all different ages, scattered in the room. There were desks and papers and pencils at each desk along with a board for you to write on.

You were suddenly nervous. Who did you think you were? Were you capable of teaching all these people? You saw Darren's shining face at the front of the class and knew you had to try.

You struggled at first, not knowing how to teach something that came as easy as breathing for you. You ended up going through half the alphabet that night. They were all fast learners. You laughed with them and they had fun learning. You taught for about an hour or so and then decided it was about time to end the class for the night. To your surprise, they all applauded. Apparently you hadn't done so badly.

The last to stop applauding was the man standing in the doorway. As your students bid you thanks and goodnight, Loki stayed, waiting for you. You gathered your things and walked over to him. There was a strange glint to his eyes.

"What is it?" you asked, not knowing how to read his eyes.

"Nothing," he said, kissing the top of your head.

You let it go as he led you down the hall and back to your room. Once you had disrobed and were laying in bed together, he turned to you. Again there was that strange keenness to his eyes.

"Tell me what you're thinking," you demanded.

Loki chuckled.

"Are you sure you want to know?" he asked. You nodded. "Well," he said, tracing soft patterns on your bare skin with his fingers. "I was watching you teach for some time tonight. You really have a knack for it," he said. You blushed at the compliment. "Especially with the young ones," he added, shifting his eyes away.

"Thank you," you said, not knowing where this was going.

"And it made me just think... maybe one day," he trailed off and his fingers trailed down to your stomach. "Maybe one day, we might teach our own?" His eyes were hopeful and you smiled brightly.

"You'd want children?" you asked.

Loki licked his lips before he kissed you gently.

"I would imagine the merging of our souls would produce something quite magnificent," he answered. "Yes, I would want that... would you?"

You thought about it for a moment. You and Loki, parents. For years you had been alone and only taken care of yourself. You were still young, and you wanted to wait for now... but eventually... the thought was enticing. Suddenly you were reminded.

"You're God," you said. Loki smiled.

"Yes," he answered.

"And I'm not," you added.

"No, not quite," he said.

"What will that do for our child? For our future even. Will I grow old and you just stay the same?" you asked. Why hadn't this crossed your mind before?

He chuckled as if that were a ridiculous idea.

"No, little one."

He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you to him.

"The moment we are married, our souls are tied together for eternity. The ceremony will make you immortal as well. We will be together always and forever," he said as if he were explaining basic math.

Your mind reeled trying to understand this. Your wedding ceremony would essentially make you a goddess. You had never made a better choice than to come to this world.

Loki took your silence the wrong way.

"Is that not what you want?" he asked tentatively.

"That's exactly what I want," you laughed. "Eternity. With you."

Loki kissed your forehead and chuckled.

"Eternity," he said, "Is not nearly enough."

You sighed and snuggled closer to him. You fell asleep fairly quickly and dreamed of spending eternity with Loki.


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is kinda short but I have a plan and soon more time to write so more's coming I swear!

Thank the gods for the wedding planner. Not only did you have no idea about Asgardian tradition, but you were severely unorganized. You had told the planner you wanted something simple and fun but also elegant. Although these ideas were kind of contradictory, she simply nodded and showed you a few samples of things she was thinking about. You were stunned by everything she showed you, not to mention overwhelmed. You told her to just use her own judgement because you were sure she'd done this before.

Loki simply watched you with amusement while you tried to plan your wedding. He said he didn't care for the details as long as you two got to say your vows.

Right, your vows. You hadn't written anything down yet. How could you? Everything was so messy and inexpressible inside you. There were just waved of adoration, love, and respect. There was no way you could possibly fathom it into words. You tried but it just wasn't possible. Part of you wanted to just wing it and see what happened.

You were staring at Loki over breakfast, trying to find the words in his ethereal face. He caught you staring and you blushed, looking away.

"What is it?" he asked softly.

"Nothing," you answered, embarrassed. "I just... wanted to try to find words... for our vows. I'm having difficultly."

Loki smiled and leaned back in his chair.

"Me too," he admitted. "It is not easy to explain ourselves to each other, is it?"

You shook your head and bit your lip.

"Well, I suppose when the time comes, we will have some words to say anyway," he smiled. You chuckled and nodded, relieved that he was in the same boat.

Then you heard a knock on the door. You could tell by the loudness that it was Thor. You told him to come in and he did so with a wide grin.

"Come, both of you," he breathed as though he had just run miles and miles. "I have discovered something."

You cast Loki a questioning glance and he shrugged, taking his time in getting up. You both followed Thor down to the Grand Hall. In the center of it lay a golden stand. It almost looked like a bird bath, but more elegant. In the bowl on top was a large purple stone. The moment you saw it, shivers ran down your spine. Your first instinct was to run away and never look at it again. Loki and Thor seemed unphased, not to mention the calm guards surrounding it. You took a breath and tried to shake the feeling, forcing yourself forward. You grabbed Loki's hand for support.

Up close, the stone was more black than purple. Its edges were sharp and it seemed to radiate some kind of energy.

"What is it?" you asked Thor.

He looked happier than he probably should be.

"I have no idea," he admitted. "We found it this morning on our patrols. You can feel its power, can you not?"

You gave him a tight-lipped smile and nodded. The power was not good, you were almost sure of it.

Loki looked at the stone with mild interest.

"What are you going to do with it?" he asked.

"Nothing for now, until we know what it is," Thor answered. "We have our scientists coming in this afternoon to take a look. Perhaps it is some kind of energy source."

Loki nodded but looked skeptical. Was he feeling the same negative energy from it as you were?

After a few more moments you couldn't handle being near the stone. It was making you physically sick. You felt nausea surge in you and you backed away without thinking.

"Are you alright?" Loki asked, following you.

"Yeah," you lied. "Just.. don't feel well all of the sudden."

He looked more concerned than you had anticipated.

"You should go lie down," he said.

He didn't wait for an answer before leading you back to the room. He laid you down and handed you a book that you were halfway through.

"I have to return to Thor," Loki said with a sad expression. "I don't know about that stone, but I don't think we should go poking it," he said nervously.

"I feel the same," you said, glad to have him on your side. He leaned down and gently kissed your forehead.

"I will be back. Rest," he ordered. Already you were starting to feel better away from the stone but you did as you were told and finished the rest of the book.

That night you convinced Loki that you were well enough to go teach more lessons. The class had grown considerably. Everyone wanted to learn how to read and you were more than happy to teach them. As always, after class, Loki was there in the doorway to walk you back to your room.

You lay in bed together, simply staring at each other.

"I still don't know," he said quietly.

"What's that?"

"How to say it," he admitted. "How to express everything I feel for you." He looked severely concerned.

"Me either," you frowned. "Surely with all the books we've read, we would have some knowledge of the language we speak."

He chuckled. "And yet here we are," he smiled. He brushed his hand along your side and rested it on your hip.

"Maybe there are no words," you tried.

"Maybe," he answered. "Maybe it is beyond language," he said, leaning in to kiss you. After his lips brushed yours he pulled away. "I could not describe the feeling I get when I touch you," he said, eyes closed. "I cannot describe the feeling I get when you look at me like that or when I hear your voice. It is indescribable," he said.

You were smiling like an idiot, both because of the sweet sentiment and because of how accurate that was for you as well.

"Well the point of vows is to know how much you care for the other person," you started. "And I know how much I care for you, and you for me."

"Mmm," he agreed, kissing you again. "Perhaps we need no vows."

"We have our feelings, our commitment," you said.

"And that is more than enough," Loki finished your thought for you. You nodded.

You looked at his sleepy features and sighed, nestling close to him.

"I cannot wait to spend forever with you," he whispered in your ear.


	28. Chapter 28

It was the day before your wedding. How did you even get here? You were a simple earth girl before all this began and now you were about to marry an Asgardian Prince? You almost couldn't believe it. You'd come so far in such a small amount of time. You paced the castle, thinking this all through. You were unbelievably excited to marry Loki, you just had to try and process it.

You walked down to the grand hall without thinking. This is where the reception would take place after your ceremony. Once again you felt your skin crawl as you approached the purple stone. The boys had taken to calling it the Prometheus stone after you had made a joke about the film that they hadn't seen. It seemed to glow in your presence. There were guards at each end of the hall, diligently watching it, although the protection had lessened over the week since no one had tried to steal it. You thought you knew why. The stone radiated some kind of negative energy and no one wanted to touch it.

For a moment when you looked at the stone out of the corner of your eye, you thought you saw a figure. When you turned your head to look it had gone; or perhaps it was never there at all.

It must be your nerves, you told yourself. You hadn't slept well with all the excitement of your upcoming nuptials. You wandered back to your room to find Loki in bed, reading. He put down his book and patted the empty space beside him. It was quite late at night by this point and you had no argument about resting. You curled up next to him and he drew his fingers through your hair.

"Where were you?" he asked.

"Wandering," you responded. "Thinking."

"Not getting cold feet I hope?" he half joked. You could tell he was a little concerned though.

"No. Never," you answered.

He nodded and returned his attention to the book. You were silent for a moment before you voiced your thoughts.

"Do you think the Prometheus stone is... dangerous?" you asked.

"I'm not sure. It's been fine so far," Loki answered.

You frowned. If Loki wasn't concerned then perhaps you were over thinking it. You pushed the thoughts away and nuzzled up to his neck, placing gentle kisses here and there. He sighed and put down his book.

"Are you excited about tomorrow?" you asked, continuing to kiss up his jawline and then to his lips.

"I'm counting the seconds," he responded before kissing your lips.

You continued to kiss until your head spun. Before you knew it he was on top of you, pulling at your clothes. The two of you could have held the Olympic medals for fastest undressing. When he was inside you, when you were sharing the air between you gasping each others names, when you clutched at his skin, when his teeth dragged along your skin, when you came together, it justified everything you had ever felt. The wedding tomorrow would be the best day of your life.

It didn't take long for you to fall asleep in his arms despite the anxiety in your mind. You had been informed about Asgardian traditions when it came to weddings but you felt like it was so foreign and you were sure you'd mess it up somehow. Hopefully you could fake it until you made it.

Morning came quicker than it ever had before. Before you knew it, a band of servants were hustling around you, dragging you and Loki apart. You managed to get a quick kiss in before you were dragged away to the bathroom and he to another room. The servants washed, plucked, shaved, manicured, and massaged you until you were in perfect condition to dress. The wedding dress you had chosen was a dark green - Loki's favorite color.

The servants did your hair in beautiful curls and gave you natural-looking makeup. Once everything was ready you were led outside the doors of the ceremony room. Once the doors opened, you saw Loki standing there, looking extremely handsome and well-dressed inside the circle. You had been told about this circle. The room was not large. It contained about twenty people comfortably. Thor was at the front of the crowd surrounded by other nobles. In the center of the room was a golden circle. This is where your ceremony would take place. Loki smiled at you warmly as you entered. You kept your eyes locked on him and simply tried not to trip.

Once you made it to the circle you felt your heart speed up. Was this really happening? You swallowed hard and took a deep breath. They had told you what would happen next but you were not ready.

A white light suddenly surrounded the circle as if a large bubble had been placed over it. It reminded you of the light that had first taken you to Loki and you smiled, watching it encircle you. You felt your feet leave the ground as the light lifted you and Loki up a few feet. You couldn't see anything outside of the light. It was simply you and Loki together. He held your hands.

"Are you ready?" he asked quietly.

You nodded and smiled. He cleared his throat and spoke the words that would bind you forever.

"I, Loki Laufeyson, do solemnly swear to love this woman with my entire being until the end of time." The bright light grew even brighter. Loki nodded. Your turn.

"I, (Y/N), do solemnly swear to love this man with my entire being until the end of time," you repeated. You smiled but suddenly gasped. You felt a tingling sensation invade your body.

Suddenly the white light seeped down and circled your hands. You felt something touching your left wrist but didn't dare move. You felt your body growing stronger, feeding off of the light, becoming immortal. You felt more awake, stronger, more present. You could feel your skin tingle and watched as all blemishes faded away. You wondered if this was how Loki felt all the time. Now you would be able to keep up with him more, you smiled to yourself.

The light continued for a few more moments until the tingling stopped. You were lowered carefully back to the ground and the light dissipated. Loki leaned in and kissed you as the small crowd cheered. You looked down at your wrist to see what the sensation had left. On your wrist, along the veins leading to your heart, there was an infinity symbol with Loki's name artfully tangled in it. You looked at Loki's wrist to discover your name in the same symbol. You smiled, enjoying the permanence of this over a ring.

Thor stood and congratulated you in front of everyone. You barely heard him over the noise of your heart beating happily in your chest, feeling stronger than ever before. You stared at Loki, afraid that if you turned away he might dissolve into a dream. He kissed you again before you were both whisked away into the grand hall for the reception.

The food had already been laid out. You tried to ignore the Prometheus stone and focus on the guests, the food and the drink. Everything was great for a long time. Music played, guests ate, you and Loki danced.

But then you felt something. The back of your neck prickled and you turned towards the stone. Convinced you must have drunk too much, you saw a figure again but this time not out of the corner of your eye. You saw a figure there, next to the stone. You realized everyone had gone quiet and the music had stopped. The figure was there again when you looked, although this time it was joined by another. They were made of some kind of dark purple smoke.

You went to ask Loki what was happening but your voice wouldn't work. Suddenly the Prometheus stone shook and five more figures of smoke appeared. You heard Thor draw his sword slowly while Loki reached for his dagger.

And then the smoke figures attacked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the cliff hanger... will probably write the next chapter in the next few days! thanks for your continued support <3


	29. Chapter 29

Chaos. That was the only word that could describe your current situation. Your head whipped back and forth trying to follow all the action. As soon as the smoke figures had attacked, Loki had maneuvered you behind him. He and Thor had their weapons drawn while guards from all around came down to help. There were at least ten smoke figures now. The stone seemed to vibrate and produce more every few seconds. You saw a guard across the room become surrounded by smoke. You shut your eyes as his skin turned black and he dropped dead to the floor. Thor was swiping at the smoke figures, trying to stab them. It only seemed to slow them down a miniscule amount. You watched in horror as more and more guards fell to the floor.

Loki was swiping his dagger, trying to keep the smoke figure back from the two of you. They seemed to fear the dagger because they did not advance as fast as some of the other figures, but they still came at you determined. You watched as the stone spewed more smoke. This was never going to end. Everyone would simply be enveloped by smoke and overrun by it.

"Loki, the stone!" you screamed. "We have to stop the stone."

You weren't even sure what you meant. You just knew somehow that the source of the monsters had to be stopped. It had to be contained. But how?

Loki looked back at your for a split second and nodded, apparently understanding what you were getting at.

"I need you to be strong for me," he said over his shoulder to you. He quickly turned and gave you his dagger while he ran towards the stone, dodging smoke figures as if he were skating on ice.

You stood in terror, alone with your dagger. You held it out in front of you and mimicked Loki's movements. The smoke figures advanced on you and you kept swiping right and left.

You flickered your attention between them and Loki. He had gotten to the stone and was now focusing on it with his hand extended. Yellow light flowed out of his hand - magic - and towards the stone. Slowly, it encircled the stone. You saw the smoke figures start to waver. They came at you slower and your dagger's touch slowed them down more. You watched as Loki concentrated on the stone. It seemed to be taking all of his efforts. Thankfully the smoke figures seemed to dislike the energy that flowed from Loki's hand and instead focused their attention on you and the soldiers.

You kept swiping, trying to keep them away while keeping track of Loki's progress. He had almost the entire stone covered with yellow light. You looked closer at his face and noticed something strange. His skin seemed to be cracking and a blue tinted color was underneath. You thought you must be seeing things, but then you noticed his eyes were turning red. You did not know what was happening to him, but you knew he was having success. You watched as two of the figures in front of you dissipated completely. About half had gone in the past two seconds and more were evaporating every following moment. Before the last one in front of you dissipated, it touched your hand. It felt as though you had cut your hand wide open.

Finally, you looked over to see Loki give one last burst of energy, covering the stone completely, and then he collapsed. You checked around the room and saw all of the smoke figures had gone. Your hand seemed more or less fine and the figure that had touched you was gone. Whatever magic Loki had used, it had worked. You ran to him and knelt down beside him.

Up close you could see the damage that had been done. You ran your fingers over his face and neck, tracing the cracked lines. Why did he have blue rivets in his skin? His eyes were closed but you wondered if they were still red.

You turned and saw Thor sprinting over to you. He knelt down on Loki's other side. You didn't know what to make of it. Loki was still breathing, but was he hurt?

"What happened?" you asked Thor.

Thor assessed Loki for a moment and then sighed.

"I believe my brother just saved us all," he said. "Using that much magic takes a toll. He will need to be taken to the healing wing. But I believe he will be fine in time."

You felt a wave of relief. Loki was just passed out. Still, what had happened to his skin? You traced the lines on his neck and saw they extended down under his tunic.

"What is this?" you asked Thor. Thor simply grimaced at you. He knew but would not tell you.

"That is not for me to explain," Thor answered.

You were quite confused. There was something about Loki that you did not know? What could he possibly be hiding from you?

Before you knew what was happening, healers had come for Loki. They dragged him away on a stretcher as you watched, unable to do anything.

***

The healers had told you it wouldn't be long before Loki awoke. They would be able to heal most of his skin and restore it to the way it was, along with his eye color. The magic had simply been drained but that did not mean it couldn't be replaced. Why did he need magic for his appearance though was your question.

You hadn't slept the entire night and were almost on the edge of falling asleep when Loki spoke to you.

"Did it work?" he asked groggily.

You smiled and crawled into bed with him, kissing every inch of his face and neck. You were so relieved, even if it hadn't been life threatening. Most of his skin color had been restored and his eyes were back to their green color that you had fallen in love with. The healers had taken off his shirt for monitoring his heart rate and you noticed that there was still a blue crack on his chest. It was almost like a drawing of lightning over his heart.

You stroked this section and looked up at him.

"Yes," you answered. "Whatever you did... it worked."

He smiled weakly and you snuggled up next to him.

"Loki," you asked tentatively, "What happened to you? Your skin... did this," you said, pointing to the only remaining blue line on his chest.

He glanced down and stiffened. He looked away from you. Did you do something wrong?

"I'm sorry," you retracted, unsure what you had done.

Loki kept his gaze away from you for a moment. Then he relaxed and looked at his left wrist. Your name was there within the infinity symbol. He sighed and turned to you.

"I never wanted you to have to know," he admitted. He turned to face you better. "I told you I was adopted... But it is not only that I am not of royal blood... I am of Frost Giant blood. Odin rescued me when I was young. He was able to use magic to transform me into someone who would look like everyone else here. Using that much magic must have cracked the illusion." His hand ran over the lightning blue strip on his chest. "Do you find it hideous?" he asked, as if he thought you'd say yes.

"No," you said, admiring the radiant color. "I think it's beautiful."

He looked at you, surprised.

"You don't think me a monster?" he asked.

"Never," you answered truthfully. Whatever a Frost Giant was, it was Loki, and you were in love with Loki.

He sighed deeply and kissed you.

"Thank you for saving me," you said quietly. "And everyone."

"Hopefully it will not be needed again," Loki joked.

"Well," you said, matching his tone, "We will always have an interesting wedding story."

"Mmmm," he agreed, kissing the top of your head. "And now we are united for eternity."

Eternity with Loki. That sounded about as good as it could get. Frost Giant or not, you loved him, and at least now there were no more secret between you.

You smiled and nuzzled closer to your husband, content.


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a short one, but I thought I'd give you guys something fun while I think up the next plot lines!  
> thanks for the continued love <3

You first thought that it must be some kind of post-marital stress. For days after the wedding you felt off, like something was wrong. It felt like an energy was building up inside you with no means of escape. No amount of exercise (with or without Loki) would help rid you of it. By the end of the week you were at your wit's end. You couldn't sleep and were constantly pacing around the room. Loki assured you it was not caused by your bond and subsequent immortality. Your hand kept buzzing like there were bees under your skin and you didn't know why.

One night, you paced the room, trying to rid yourself of energy before bed. Although he had done so five times during the day already, Loki asked you from the bathroom if there was anything he could do to help you.

"I don't know!" you yelled out of frustration. "I've never felt like this, I don't know what it is!"

You flung your hand to the side for emphasis and heard a loud bang. Loki's eyes widened and you turned to see that a vase had shattered against the wall. It had been on the other side of the room a second ago. You look around you, bewildered, before turning your glance to Loki. You noticed that the energy inside you had subsided considerably. For the first time in a long time you felt like you could sit down without wanting to explode.

Loki walked cautiously towards you with his hands out.

"Don't move, little one," he cautioned. What was wrong? What had happened to that vase?

"What is it?" you asked, pulling your hand to your chest. The buzzing there was gone as well.

Loki approached you and took your hand. He turned it over in his, examining it. This is when you realized that your hand was glowing a slight purple.

"Last week," Loki began cautiously, "Did the smoke figures touch you?"

You flashed back to the one who had touched your hand.

"Yes," you said, looking closer at your hand. That must have been where they touched you.

Loki smirked to himself and looked at you carefully. You weren't sure what he was feeling. You, for one, were scared.

"I want you to try something," he said.

Loki moved behind you so your back was to his torso. One arm wrapped around your waist and the other held your hand. He guided your hand and aimed it at a small glass of water on your night stand.

"Concentrate on that glass," he said into your ear.

You didn't know quite what he meant, but you did as he asked. You focused on the glass, staring at it. Loki gently moved your hand up, and with it went the glass. Again you felt the tension in you lessen. Your hand glowed again. You broke your attention and turned to him. You heard a smash as the glass fell to the floor. Loki studied it while you turned to him for an explanation.

"What is that?" you asked.

"I am not sure yet," Loki responded, still smirking.

"What are the leading theories?" you tried, studying him. What was happening to you?

You turned around to face him. He didn't seem concerned, rather, excited.

"I believe... you might have inherited some powers from the smoke figures," Loki said slowly.

"Powers?" you asked, not believing.

"I think what you've been feeling is a building up of those powers not being used. I think you have been gifted with telekinesis," he smiled.

"The ability to move objects with my mind? That's some awesome Magneto shit!" you exclaimed, excited at this new prospect. Loki frowned, not understanding your reference. "Can I move _anything_?" you asked, thinking of Magneto's limitation to metal.

"I have no idea," Loki answered. "Try," he suggested.

You turned around and faced the bed. There were a few books by it. You did as you had before and focused on one book. You extended your hand and mimicked the movement you had before. To your delight, the book lifted into the air. It was such a new sensation. You could tell that the book was heavier than the small glass of water. It took more concentration to lift the book and you felt a little more tired as you set it down. You moved on to something bigger. You aimed your hand at Loki's night stand. You lifted it a few inches off the ground before you felt your energy draining. The faint glow in your hand dimmed and you set it down, feeling light-headed.

Loki caught you as your legs wavered. He swept you up in his arms and carried you over to the bed. He laid you down carefully and slid in beside you.

"It will take some practice, I think," you concluded. "Like building a new muscle."

Loki nodded, just staring at you. He seemed to be looking at you in a new light.

"What?" you smiled at him.

"Nothing," he smirked. "It's just... seeing you using magic... It's quite lovely. It reminds me of my mother," he said, turning to look towards the canopy bed where you had first shared his memories. "She gave me magic, did you know? She's the one who taught me illusions and tricks. And to see you share a kind of magic... it's just something more to love about you," he sighed, turning his gaze towards you.

You felt closer to him suddenly. This was something you could share, something you could learn about together. Perhaps some of the things Frigga had taught him about magic could apply to you. You could help each other.

"I don't know if it's possible for me to love you more," you said without meaning to. You had thought it and the words had tumbled out without your consent in your tired state.

Loki smiled and rolled over to kiss your forehead.

"My little sorceress," he smirked. "I find new ways to love you every day."

You rolled so he could wrap his arms around you and pull you to him. Your body felt as though you had run a few miles and you were more than happy to finally rest after a week of unrest. You snuggled closer to him and he ran his fingers through your hair.

When you fell asleep it was to the sound of Loki humming you a lullaby. You drifted into sleep, dreaming about magic.


	31. Chapter 31

You wished Asgard had "Eye of the Tiger" for you to play while you trained with Loki. Nonetheless, you did have fun figuring out your new powers. Loki had set up a sort of archery range for you; however, instead of all bulls-eye targets, there were other challenges set across from you.

The first one was indeed an actual target. Loki had set up a dagger for you to aim at the board. The second was a vase of water. This one required that you place a rose into the glass that stood ten feet away from you. The third had five metal poles standing in the ground and a small ball for you to weave between them.

Needless to say, it was not an easy start. Your first attempt at moving the dagger with your mind ended with you screaming in horror as the knife missed the target completely and strayed to a nearby tree, almost impaling a bird. The flower slapped against the vase and you heard Loki chuckle behind you. Lastly, you hit every pole as you weaved the ball through the maze.

You sighed after your first attempts and turned to Loki. He was watching you like a proud parent. You shook your head in mock defeat and walked into his arms. He hugged you and kissed the top of your head, still chuckling slightly.

"I'm a mess," you said into his shoulder.

"You're a beginner," Loki tried. "You will get better with practice of course."

You knew he was right. And over the week, things began to improve. It used to be after a round of training you would feel like a nap. Now, however, you were able to complete a round of training without tiring. Soon you were able to hit the target with the knife, place the rose in the vase and weave the ball around the poles. Loki was always beaming with pride when you succeeded. You had to admit, it felt pretty good.

The restlessness that you'd initially felt had long since vanished with your training and use of your powers. You got used to that pulling sensation that you got when you lifted objects with your mind. The purple glow in your hand was almost a comfort.

You started using your powers to enable your laziness. On earth if you had had these powers, you never would have gotten out of bed. You were able to summon books and food from across the room without having to trek over to get it. Sometimes Loki rolled his eyes in good humor at your laziness, sometimes he requested you summon things for him as well.

On the days that Loki did not have any business to attend to you would often spend it in bed. You would alternate between making love, eating food, swapping stories, and reading. These days were heavenly. It was like being with your best friend and soul mate at the same time. You never grew tired of Loki's company and missed him terribly when he was gone.

Naturally, when Thor informed you that Loki had to go to a neighboring town, you immediately signed up to go along.

"Where do I have to go?" Loki asked Thor.

Thor sat on the throne, gazing uncharacteristically sternly at his brother.

"Falliam," Thor replied gravely. Loki stiffened and you did not know why.

"Why?" he asked through gritted teeth. You couldn't guess anymore you had to ask.

"What's Falliam?" you asked tentatively.

Loki shut his eyes and clenched his fists. Thor looked forlornly at you.

"It is the birthplace of the revolution," he admitted. Oh. The revolution that had spawned the murderers of Loki's mother.

You wrapped your hand around Loki's fist and slowly felt it relax, accepting your hand. Thor watched this exchange and seemed to marvel at it.

"Why?" Loki repeated, less aggressively this time.

"I had a deal with them before I was king," Thor started. "In order to ensure that nothing like what happened to mother happened again, I made sure to go there every few months and hear their complaints. Since I have become king I do not have the time to spare. I am sure they will not mind the replacement as he is very competent and probably even more suitable for the job than I was. Please give them my apologies as well, I am running behind schedule," he added.

Loki did not succumb to the small flattery and still looked annoyed.

"I will go with him," you offered.

"No," Loki said lowly. "I will not risk you."

"And I will not risk you," you retorted, hearing Thor stifle a laugh. "You will not leave me here while you visit those people. I want to go with you. You'll need me," you added.

Loki looked at your determined features and you saw his resolve melt away.

"Fine," he answered, turning back to Thor. "But I require armed guards."

Thor nodded his consent. Soon after that you left the throne room.

"Are you okay?" you asked Loki on your silent walk back to your room.

Loki sighed and wrapped a hand around your waist.

"I will be," he said softly.

You could tell that memories of that terrible event had come back to haunt him.

"Maybe this can bring some kind of peace or closure," you offered.

He sighed again, a deep, heavy sigh.

"Perhaps," he answered, not convinced.

You pulled him into your room and began to kiss him. You wanted to pull all of the sadness and anger out of him through his lips - you would take it in and store it if need be - you just wanted it out of him.

He responded in kind and lifted you into his arms and onto the bed. You made love slowly and intimately. When he was inside you and you looked into his eyes there was no boundary between you. You felt as though he were part of your soul, and, in truth, he was.

He held you close afterwards. The two of you went to sleep early in order to be ready for the following day's journey.


	32. Chapter 32

You and Loki packed the things you would need on your journey quickly that morning and were able to leave just after breakfast. You and Loki shared a horse out of want rather than necessity. You loved feeling him behind you. Two guards accompanied you on your way. To your surprise, it was not as long of a journey as you had anticipated.

By noon you were reaching the edge of the town. It wasn't only that this place had spawned the murderers of the Queen that haunted you. It was something else - something more immediate. You couldn't put your finger on it. You noticed that there were not any lights on and no movement in the town. Strange, but perhaps none of the people woke up before noon.

As you made your way to the main street of the town, you, Loki, and the guards dismounted the horses. You tied them up and made your way down the street. It was completely deserted. It reminded you of old westerns right before a shoot out. You gravitated towards Loki instinctively before you even saw the lone man in the road. He was wearing a large-brimmed hat and turned slowly to see you. He was middle-aged and scruffy. Immediately you wanted to run the other way. Glancing around you realized he was the only soul in sight.

"Where is everyone?" you whispered to Loki. His eyes scanned the town, a tight frown on his lips.

"You there!" one of the guards addressed the man. The man turned and smiled grimly. "We have come from Asgard to hear your--"

"You're late," the man smiled. "And you must pay."

And with that he ran faster than you would have thought off the road and into one of the buildings. That struck you as rather strange until ten armed men came running out from behind another building - an ambush.

Loki whisked you behind him and pulled his dagger. For a moment you were frozen in fear. The two guards leaped into action but they could only handle about two soldiers at a time, leaving you and Loki with the other six. The armed men slowly advanced on you and Loki. Loki held his dagger out before him confidently, but you knew it would not be enough against the six swords. All you could think was that you wanted these men away from Loki. You swept out your arm instinctively and sent one of the men flying backwards, knocking him out against a wall.

Loki turned to you quickly and smiled. Realizing you could fend for yourself, he moved beside you to fight as your equal. That movement had taken some energy from you, but adrenaline was filling you back up quickly. You focused on the man closest to Loki and flung him backwards. Loki kicked another one and sent him flying into the third man. Both were beaten quickly.

With only two men left, you and Loki needed to only take down one each. It was beginning to look like you might make it out of this okay. You smiled and faced the man you were meant to vanquish. He held his sword out in front of him, a little frightened. You heard Loki take down the other man and focused on your task.

Suddenly, you heard hooves. Around the corner came one last soldier on horseback, flipping his sword. He was much closer to Loki than to you, and Loki would have no way to fight a man speeding by on horseback wielding a sword.

You flickered your glance back to the man in front of you and then back to the man on the horse heading straight for Loki. You didn't even think, you just let your hands do what they wanted. In an energy you'd never felt before, you thrust your energy towards Loki. A sharp pain pierced your side but you held your concentration. You moved your other hand absently to the side and felt the pain lessen. You had closed your eyes to focus your energy, thinking you would need it to send a horse and rider away at the same time.

However, the sight you found when you opened your eyes was quite different than you had expected. You had sent the soldier closest to you away after closing your eyes. He lay unconscious a few yards away. That made sense. You had thought that you had sent the horse and rider flying backwards, but there they were on the ground. Instead of a displaced soldier, there was Loki, encapsulated in a bubble of purple energy, protected, while the man and the horse lay on the ground next to it, as if they had hit a brick wall.

You saw Loki look around in confusion. Once he realized you had created the bubble of protection for him he grinned, proud of you. The look you saw when he turned to you was one you did not expect - horror.

At first you thought you had terrified him with your new-found use of your power. But then you noticed that his gaze lingered on your side. You looked down to see blood pouring out of the side of your abdomen. It was strange, after the initial pain, you hadn't felt anything. Swiping the soldier away had dragged the sword through your side. Loki's face was the worst part of it all. Somewhere in your brain you knew it was irrational to feel guilty for causing it, but you still did. That amount of pain was not something you wanted on his beautiful features, especially if it was caused by you.

Your legs gave out without your consent and sent you down to the road on your knees. Loki screamed but you could not hear it. You waved your hand absently as you fell onto your side. Your head it the pavement hard and you had just a few seconds to see the purple energy fade, Loki running to you, and his arms go to wrap around you before you lost consciousness.

***

"That was an idiotic thing you did," were the first words your heard waking up. You knew whose voice it was but could not remember what stupid thing you had allegedly done.

You opened your eyes, expecting to be in your bedroom. You did not expect to be in the healing wing. Loki sat, leaning forward towards your bed, hands steepled under his chin, glaring at you.

"What?" was all your brain could come up with as a response. You tried to move but found it quite painful so you stopped. Your hands moved down to your bandaged abdomen. And then it came back to you. "Oh," you said, looking sheepishly at Loki.

His glare did not falter. You tried to smile and break the tension but he wasn't having it.

"Hey, it worked," you offered as a defense, although, you weren't sure why you were defending altruistic actions.

"It worked, and it nearly killed you," Loki spat at you. You hadn't heard this much venom in his voice since the beginning of your relationship.

"It didn't though," you said. "Just as I planned," you tried again to lighten the mood. He frowned and then his eyes became pained. Again you wanted to take that sadness out of him.

"I don't think you understand," Loki said evenly, as though describing something complex to a child. "Do you know what it was like in that bubble?" he asked.

You shook your head. He nodded and continued.

"I had to watch the woman I love, my wife, bleeding to death, while I was safe and warm in a cocoon of protective energy," he had started yelling by the end of his sentence and had to take a deep breath. You felt yourself a little frightened at this. It was not what you were expecting him to say after your saving his life. "I stood there as you put my safety before your own like it was _nothing!_ " he was nearly panting with anger now. "How could you do something like that? You were nearly killed saving me. You could have dealt with your adversary first," Loki rambled.

"There wasn't time," you answered honestly. If you had waited, Loki would have died. "And even if there was, I wouldn't have acted differently. It wasn't exactly a choice more like a gut reaction," you admitted.

Loki's contorted into even more confusion.

"Why?" he asked, almost to the universe instead of you.

"Because I love you and I want you to live," you answered. "I know you're immortal, but not from everything, and certainly not from battle wounds," you said. "Why is that so confusing?"

Loki looked taken aback. He considered this for a few moments.

"It's confusing because that is what I feel for you," he answered.

"So?" you responded.

"So... it confuses me that it would be reciprocated," he admitted, not quite meeting your eyes.

"What?" you nearly yelled at him. "Why? I've told you over and over that I love you, Loki. I am your wife for eternity. How is it confusing _at all_ that I would want you to survive?"

He took a moment before kissing you. You weren't expecting that and he waited until you relaxed to pull away.

"I just... I never dared hope that my feelings were evenly matched," he said softly, resting his forehead on yours.

"You thought this whole time that you loved me more than I loved you?" you asked, almost unbelieving.

He nodded and your heart nearly broke.

"I'm sorry," you whispered.

He pulled back immediately to stare at you.

"Why?" he asked.

"I'm sorry I didn't make it clear that I love you that much. I am sorry that it was unclear to you that I would give my life for you willingly if it meant your survival or happiness," the words came tumbling out of you.

"I would never survive or be happy without you," Loki said. He said it as naturally as if he were reporting the weather, but the words struck a chord deep within you both because it terrified you and because it was true for you as well.

"Well," you said, once again trying to lighten things up. "Let's both stay alive and together then, shall we?" you gave him a weak smile and he kissed you.

"Deal," he smiled softly.

Despite nurse's orders, Loki crawled into bed with you and held you against him. You felt stronger with his arms around you. Stronger, and complete.


	33. Chapter 33

The healers worked quickly and soon enough you were out of the healing wing and back with Loki. The night you were released from the healers, Thor had asked you to have dinner with him. Loki was invited as well. It would be an intimate dinner for three. The thought seemed nice for you but you weren't sure how Loki would react. From what you could tell he thought it bearable because you were going to be there.

The table was set and Thor was seated at the end of the main table. He stood and bowed slightly, motioning to the chairs at either side of the table. He pulled out your seat for you and you thanked him, sliding in carefully, your side still a little sore. Loki sat across from you although you could feel him watching you carefully for any sign that you needed the healers again. Thor sat back down and nodded to the servant to bring the food.

You folded your napkin in your lap as you felt both the King and the Prince's eyes on you. You cleared your throat, not knowing what to say to break the tension.

"I imagine you're wondering why I invited you to this dinner," Thor took the hint.

You nodded and Loki took a sip from the wine the servant had poured, eying Thor carefully.

"Yes," you admitted, wondering what would call for such a secretive meeting.

"There are two accounts actually," Thor answered.

A plate of food was placed in front of each of you, but Thor held off eating for the moment.

"The first is a question, the second a request," he continued cryptically.

"A request?" Loki echoed warily.

Thor nodded and gave him a placating gesture.

"The first is a serious question," Thor turned to you and smiled. "I have heard what you did in Falliam, protecting my brother," he started. You blushed. It hadn't exactly been well-executed.

"It was nothing," you interjected.

"It was most certainly not nothing," Thor continued. Loki's eyes narrowed, wondering where this was going. "I have heard of your powers and know of your bravery. I would like to offer you a lieutenant position in my military."

You felt your jaw drop. You? A soldier? Certainly not. Still, it was very nice of Thor to consider you for such a position. It clearly showed he held you in high regard.

"I... I--" you stuttered. "I don't think I'm military material," you admitted. "Thank you though."

Loki looked at his brother with what you thought was a mix of amusement and pride.

"Alright," Thor said, leaning back in his chair. "The offer stands if you change your mind. We would benefit from someone with your power, bravery, and insight."

You thanked him again but refused. You enjoyed reading about epic battles, not leading them.

"Besides," you went on, "Who would teach the servants?"

"Ah! Yes indeed. I have been hearing wonderful things about your program."

"She is an excellent teacher," Loki chimed in.

"I do okay," you conceded. "I just really love teaching them and they learn so quickly."

"You know, I've noticed a boost in their morale lately and I believe it is because of you," Thor smiled warmly at you.

"Well, I'm not sure I can take the credit, but thank you anyway," you smiled.

"And the request?" Loki asked his brother, steering the conversation back on track.

"Ah, yes. It is... difficult, brother," Thor smiled mischievously. "I actually would like to ask both of your help. You see... I have been watching the two of you and I have noticed that I am missing something in my life. Namely a wife."

You and Loki exchanged a quick glance before turning back to Thor.

"How exactly can we help with that?" you asked, confused.

"I plan to have a ball," Thor explained.

Flashes of Cinderella came back to you.

"A ball to find a mysterious girl to wed?" you offered.

"She need not be mysterious," Thor responded. "That is why I need your help. I see that you two have a way of observing people. You," he gestured to Loki, "Can see people's hidden secrets. You know when they are lying because you are the master of it. And you," he gestured to you, "You can see the potential in people that many overlook or neglect."

Your eyes flickered to Loki and you blushed. Thor was more intuitive than you gave him credit for.

"I want you to observe the women at the ball and help me find someone I am compatible with."

It sounded like some insane dating show to you, but you held your tongue. Apparently this is how it was done in Asgard.

"It sounds like fun," you decided, turning to see Loki with a smirk on his face. "We can be Sherlock Holmes and Doctor Watson," you added for your own benefit and their confused expressions.

"Well, whatever you call it, I put my heart in your hands," Thor raised his cup and drank from it.

***

"Well, Lieutenant," Loki teased once you were alone. "The ball promises to be interesting."

"Mmm," you hummed, walking towards the bathroom. "Are you prepared to be his wing man?" you asked, slipping out of your dress and drawing some water for a bath.

"What is a 'wing man'?" Loki asked, undressing as well.

The water warmed and you stepped into the tub, adding scents and bubbles as you went. Loki quickly joined you and you laid against him, your back to his chest.

"You help him court the lady," you answered.

"Ah," Loki sighed, wrapping his hands around your stomach. "I suppose I could help my brother if it would amuse you."

"I think it'll be fun," you smiled.

"What was that reference you made earlier?" Loki asked. "A doctor and a Home?"

"Holmes," you corrected. "Sherlock Holmes and his companion Doctor Watson. Sherlock is this literary figure who could tell a person's occupation, habits, recent activities, all sorts of things just by observing details about them. Doctor Watson was his companion."

"I assume I am the good Doctor in this scenario," Loki mused, offering you the lead role.

"If you like," you offered. "Either way, I'm ninety percent sure they were lovers," you smiled.

"Mmm," Loki hummed next to your ear. "Well, I can certainly play that role."

Loki turned you around in the tub and kissed you passionately. As you made love in the bathtub, you thought about how lucky you were. It must be incredibly lonely for Thor. You were determined to find him someone special. You wanted him to be as happy as Loki made you.


	34. Chapter 34

There were more women in fabulous ballgowns than you had ever seen in your life. If you didn't have Loki constantly whispering compliments and dirty thoughts into your ear, you might have felt a little self-conscious. Thor would certainly have a large pool to draw from for a prospective Queen this evening and you and Loki were up to your task of finding a woman for Thor.

The Grand Hall was filled to the brim with women and their escorts. Music played and some people danced while others mingled. Thor was completely surrounded by desperate women who you and Loki could sense were only interested in power. You immediately ruled them out. You and Loki found a good spot at the main entrance to the Grand Hall. From your place at the side of the entrance you could observe the women that came into the hall one at a time. You wished you had your deer stalker hat and pipe for this occasion, although it would not have gone well with your ivory dress.

You and Loki had discussed who you thought Thor might be compatible with. She needed to be smart - as all good Queens were - but no pretentious about it. She needed to be funny because Thor had a wonderful sense of humor, but she also needed to know when to be serious. She needed to be charming and open, because Thor needed someone who would match his easy demeanor.

Standing by the entrance at your station, you and Loki began assessing the ladies that were entering. You ruled out a few simply because they were not Thor's type and you knew that physical attraction was important in match making. Not to be shallow, but Thor really did have a type and some of the women just did not fit with it. It wasn't their fault, but it did make shuffling through tens of women easier.

You had a few that you thought at first glance might be a match. The first girl was cute. She was a small, brown-haired girl. You pointed her out to Loki noticing her pixie-like features and thinking them to be appealing.

"No, darling. Look closer," you felt as though you were the Watson in the situation at the moment. He continued. "Her nails are a mess. Her dress is practically falling apart, look at the seams - they've been inexpertly sewn to replace careless tears. She also has a leaf in her hair and food in her cleavage," he continued, eying the girl with obvious distaste.

"Oh," you laughed, realizing that. "Yes, I suppose a Queen would need to take pride in her appearance and be aware of herself and her image. As much as it sucks to be shallow, you are taking care of a kingdom, you need to look like you can take care of yourself."

Loki nodded in accordance and turned back to the women passing by. Not long after that girl, you found another potential candidate. This girl was taller and had a slender neck.

"Look," you tugged at Loki's sleeve. "That one. She has marks on her nose that look like they're from reading glasses. Maybe she's really smart and reads a lot?"

Loki frowned and looked closely at her. He shook his head.

"The marks are only on one side of her nose indicating a monocle. Based on her jewelery I would say that it might be some kind of eye-wear to help her assess the clarity of her jewels. That tells me that she is materialistic - interested in riches. That combined with the fact that she has been visually violating every man's arse since she came in pretty much rules her out for me."

You huffed, annoyed that you were demoted to Watson rather than Holmes. Loki chuckled and kissed your cheek.

"Are you not having fun?" he asked.

"I wish I was as observant as you," you said.

"Well, you pick things up when you're always on the outside," Loki said off-hand.

You took his hand in yours, silently reminding him that he wasn't on the outside anymore. Not alone, anyway.

Loki's grip on your hand tightened and you followed his gaze to the doors. A girl had just walked in and she was breath-taking. Her golden curls fell around her small, angular features. She reminded you of some kind of Greek goddess. Her dress was plain but stunning nonetheless. She walked with a little hesitation, not accompanied by anyone. You turned to Loki and arched an eyebrow, asking if he saw anything wrong with her. Loki assessed her and began his analysis.

"The stains on her right hand are from ink. She writes. Judging from the different shades of black, she writes often, some of the ink has faded from long ago, others are darker - newer."

You nodded, again amazed by Loki's natural gift of observation. The girl walked into a group of people. You watched as she easily joined the conversation and quite quickly had the whole group laughing at the things she said. Not long after that she left the group to grab a refreshment by herself.

"She can hold a crowd's attention," you noted. Loki hummed his agreement.

"And she doesn't overstay. She knows how long is long enough," he added.

Smart, funny, and genial. She seemed to be the real deal.

"Should we tell Thor we might have found someone?" you asked.

"I would like to speak with her first," Loki answered. He took your hand and pulled you over to the girl. She was still at the refreshment table, pouring herself some water.

"Prince Loki," she said, curtseying. Loki bowed in return and introduced you to her. "I am Evangeline," she said. "Eva for short if you like."

"Lovely to meet you, Eva," you said. You couldn't wipe the smile off your face, you were so happy to have found someone for Thor.

"Tell me, what do you think of Asgard?" Loki asked.

"Oh, I love it," Eva answered genuinely. "It is an amazing place. I was happy to be invited here. I live far away, you see, and it is such a treat." She simply brimmed with enthusiasm and positive energy.

"Very nice," Loki said. "And what of its King?"

Eva blushed and took a sip of water.

"He is a great leader, no doubt," she said. "And quite handsome," she added shyly.

"Do I sense a 'but'?" Loki asked.

"Well, it's just that he seems... incomplete, in a way," she said. "I apologize, it's not my place," she put her hands up in a placating gesture.

"No, no, please continue," Loki assured her.

"I'm not sure... It's just... I think he needs someone. Not that I don't trust his judgement or his council's judgement. But I think he needs someone just to bounce ideas off of and sort of keep in check sometimes you know? I think we all need that, really. King or not."

"I agree," you said, smiling. You glanced at Loki and he nodded. "Will you come with us?" you asked Eva.

"Of course," she answered.

Eva followed you to the pack of women surrounding Thor. Once Loki appeared they created a path to the middle where Thor was standing looking very overwhelmed.

"Brother!" Thor exclaimed as he laid eyes on his brother. You could tell he was glad for the reprieve.

Loki approached Thor calmly, you and Eva trailing behind him.

"I have someone I would like you to meet," Loki said with a twinkle in his eyes. "This is Miss Evangeline."

"Evangeline Crowing," she repeated for Thor, curtseying. Thor bowed. He looked at her for a moment, lost in thought, and smiled.

"It's a pleasure," he said, taking her hand and kissing it.

"Darling, let's go get something to eat," you nudged Loki. He smiled.

"Yes, of course," he said. "Enjoy your evening. It was lovely to meet you," Loki said.

Eva nodded and you and Loki left. You almost felt like giggling you were so excited for them. Maybe it wouldn't be the perfect match but you had high hopes. You wanted Thor to be happy so badly. He did need someone like Eva had said. Everyone needs someone like that in their lives.

"Do you think he'll like her?" you asked Loki as you went to grab some food.

"I think anyone you approve of is certainly worthy of his time," he responded.

You smiled. "I think she's great so far," you said.

You and Loki munched on some of the food and watched Thor from afar. The other women had kept away since Loki had walked among them, and stood in small groups, watching Eva and Thor from across the room.

By the end of the night, most of the guests had gone home. Eva and Thor were still lost in conversation. Eventually, Thor took her hand and guided her out to the private balcony. You clutched Loki's arm and smiled as he indulged your childishness and smiled too.

Thor was still out on the balcony with Eva when you and Loki left to go to bed. That seemed like a good sign to you. As you crawled into bed with Loki, you hoped that one day soon Thor would have the same sense of comfort, support, and love that you felt with Loki. Although Eva wouldn't have to move realms to be with Thor, she would have to move to Asgard. You hoped that she would, if Thor chose, find a happy home here as you had.

As cliche as it was, you had to agree with the sentiment: home is where the heart is. And your heart, for better or worse, was right there beside you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just wanted to say thanks for the continued love via comments and kudos! I also realized that I totally forgot Ginny.... let's just say she's happily living in the palace, sleeping in weird places in your room and pestering the kitchen servants for scraps :)


	35. Chapter 35

To your and Loki's delight, Thor and Eva kept seeing each other after the ball. She would stay over for weeks at a time, giving both Thor and yourself time to get to know her. You found a new friend and kindred spirit in Eva. She had Thor's bright personality and easy demeanor and you got along famously with her. You enjoyed long rides along the edges of the palace grounds, talking about your men, your interests, and your futures. Spending time with Eva also gave Thor time to spend with Loki. You found they were becoming more amicable as well, and it made you happy.

Eva started coming to your classes to watch you teach. She even started assisting in the classes and she was very helpful. She had a way with the children that made you sure she would be a good mother. Mothering was something you'd been thinking a lot about lately.

After every class, the parents of one of the servant children came to pick him up. You always watched as the father joyfully picked up the child and spin him around, smiling as if he hadn't seen him in months. You had never thought yourself the type to want children. The world you were from was not one you wanted a child in. This world though - this world of magic and fairy tales - was something you found yourself yearning to share.

One night, when Loki came to pick you up from the class, the boy's parents were late. You and Loki stayed with him until they came. They apologized and thanked you for staying. You assured them it was no problem. You watched as the father lifted the boy, per usual, and swung him around until they were both giggling. Then he gently set him down, took his hand, and wrapped his hand around his wife's waist, leading them back to their chambers. You couldn't wipe the grin off your face long after they had left. You realized that... that could be you. You could have that if you wanted, if Loki wanted.

"What are smiling for, little one?" Loki asked.

"Nothing," you said, shaking your head. "It's just... a nice picture," you said, lingering before you turned to him.

When you looked up, you saw coldness in Loki's eyes - distance. Why? You searched his eyes for more but he shifted his face to a smile when you brushed your hand across his cheek.

"What's wrong?" you asked.

"Nothing. Let's go," he said, wrapping his arm around you.

Skeptical, you watched him as he led you back to your room. You closed the door behind you and went to Loki. He was sitting on the bed and you joined him. You straddled his lap and kissed him passionately. He laid back and you both went to work, ridding your clothes.

Through the heated kisses you let out your thoughts.

"I want that," you said breathlessly.

"What?" he asked.

"That. I want what they have. A family."

You felt Loki stiffen beneath you, not responding to your touch. You pulled away, perplexed.

"What's wrong?" you asked.

"You want children now?" Loki asked.

"I think maybe we could start trying... yeah," you said honestly. Didn't he want kids? You remembered him asking you at one point.

"Now?" Loki asked again. He seemed troubled, unsure of himself.

"Yeah... What's wrong, I thought you said you wanted kids," you said, settling beside him.

Loki got up and began pacing the room.

"I did... I do," he rambled. "I just..."

You watched him, unable to see where he was headed with this. He looked at you out of the corner of his eye and looked away, ashamed.

"What is it?" you asked. "What's changed?"

"Nothing," he said, still pacing. "I've just had time to think."

Your stomach sank.

"Do you not... want kids... with _me?_ " you asked, feeling lost.

Loki's head snapped to you and he walked over to kneel beside you. He took your hands in his and kissed them.

"Of course I would want them with you," he said softly. He kept his gaze on your hands when he said, "But I don't think you should want them with me."

"What?" you asked.

"Me," Loki repeated, smoothing his thumb over your hands. "I don't think I could... That I would... be any good," you saw that last bit come out of him as if it had pulled a thread and unraveled him.

"Why?" you asked, exasperated.

Loki looked up at you with big, sad eyes.

"I... I'm barely enough for you," he said. "If that... How could I possibly be good enough for another person, for a son or daughter?" he asked, almost pleading for an answer.

"Loki, please," you pleaded in return. "I can't keep telling you how amazing you are. I can't keep telling you that you are everything to me and more. You are more than enough. I know that Odin didn't exactly set the best example, but I know that you can be so much better than him. But you need to believe in yourself. You need to know that you are enough," you said, feeling your throat tighten. "I can't..." you couldn't finish.

Loki immediately stood and pulled you to him.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he said over and over. "I didn't mean to make you cry. Please, don't cry."

You tried to stop and held your head under his chin.

"It's not just you it hurts when you're like this," you said truthfully. "When you think you're not worthy of something, or that you're not enough for something... It kills me. I want you to know who you are and how amazing you are. Can you do that for me?" you asked, looking up at him. "Can you please just know that you are perfect. You are enough, more than enough for me and any children we want to have."

Loki tucked your head back under his chin and rocked you back and forth until your cries had quieted. It was comforting, but you wondered what he was thinking. As much as you loved Loki, you couldn't be his sole source of confidence. He needed to believe that he was enough.

"Okay," he said simply.

"Okay?" you repeated.

"Yes," he said, letting you look up at him. "I will try. I will try to believe those things. For you."

You felt a small smile break onto your face.

"I can't promise... that it will work. But I will try," he said, starting to smile. "And," he added after a pause. " _We_ can try."

It took you a moment to get his meaning. He was saying you could try... for children. Your heart leapt with joy. You kissed him passionately.

As you made love that night, you thought about Loki. You thought about how great of a father he would be to your children. He might not fully believe in himself yet, but you knew the two of you could figure it out together.

One day he would see it too. One day, perhaps through the eyes of his child, he would see.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks still for the love and support! I might be taking a break for a while cuz I'm planning on another reader/tom hiddleston character story (Adam from Only Lovers Left Alive) I'll probably come back to this and do some kind of ending but just a heads up, it might not be for a little while!


	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yay I'm back! at least for a few chapters probably sporadically posted through the week. I just finished re-reading it so yeah, I have some more ideas so hopefully you all haven't forgotten about me! <3

You knew before they announced it. You could tell from the sidelong glances and the delicate touches that Eva and Thor were in love. When they took you and Loki to the Grand Hall and announced their engagement, you were not surprised; that did not stop you from being ecstatic. You hugged Eva and Thor fiercely, congratulating them on their happy news. Loki shook his brother's hand and kissed Eva's cheek with a satisfied smile on his lips. As much as he wouldn't have been before he met you, he seemed to be actually happy for his brother.

The happy news was only slightly tainted by the room they had taken you to. The Prometheus stone was still encapsulated in Loki's magic. You still got those strange vibes from the stone despite its dormancy. You kept looking at it as though your eyes were drawn to it by some force. It didn't feel right.

"Why do we still have that?" you asked Thor once the conversation had diverted from the engagement. You pointed to the stone and he looked over.

"It is not harmful anymore," he shrugged. "I think it's quite beautiful. Although not when standing next to you fine ladies," he slipped in smoothly.

You forced a small smile but stared distractedly at the stone. It seemed like a sleeping lion to you. Perhaps not dangerous now... But just wait until someone poked it with something. Loki watched you carefully, slipping his hand around your waist. You felt him guiding you out of the room. The minute you left, you realized you could breathe easier. There had been a weight slowly pressing down on your chest but being away from the stone lessened it. Although it had given you amazing powers, you still had uneasy feelings about it.

You couldn't shake the uneasy feeling all day. Being away from the stone helped, but your mind kept drifting back to it for some reason. You spent the day with Eva discussing the wedding plans. They had set the date for a week from today. They had started planning already and Eva was very excited to show you all the plans. You smiled and encouraged her. She was so sweet, and so excited. If only your excitement wasn't weighted at the moment by that damn stone.

After a long day, you and Loki retired to your chambers. You felt exhausted. You had been in the Grand Hall since the fight with the smoke figures and it hadn't been this way. Why was today different? You settle into bed and Loki wrapped his arms around you.

"Are you alright, pet?" he asked, gently brushing the hair away from your neck to kiss you.

"Yeah," you lied. "Just tired for some reason."

He hummed and pulled you closer to him.

You fell asleep fast but were soon haunted by horrible dreams. You dreamt that you were in some foreign place. It was freezing cold and seemed to be snowing. You felt as though you were actually in this place. You felt the rough stone ground beneath your feet. You looked up at the starless, black sky and felt empty. You turned your attention to the figures that marched in front of you. There was something oddly familiar about them. They were tall, at least from your dream's perspective, although it was hard to tell without much other than tall stone mountains to judge their height. They were blue-skinned and red-eyed. Their skin was marked with some sort of tribal design. There seemed to be about ten of them, all varying in height and skin patterns. A smaller blue person ran up to the rest, out of breath.

"What is it?" said the one sitting on a large, stone chair. You could understand them, but you also knew that they were not speaking English. You shook at the sound of the booming voice. Looking over to the runner, you saw him shaking.

"The Cold One has not used the stone, my lord," he said breathlessly. "He has merely encapsulated it and protected the traitors."

"What?!" the sitting one roared. "Why would he not use it?"

"I don't know," the runner answered. "Perhaps he did not understand its purpose?"

As they spoke you wracked your brain trying to figure out why these creatures looked familiar. You had seen that color somewhere before... You had looked into similar eyes once... Your dream-addled brain could not piece it together. You kept listening although you could feel the dream fading.

"I suppose we have no choice but to encourage The Cold One to use the stone and take his rightful place then," the sitting on mused. His eyes were cold, but sinisterly playful. "One week. One week, and we will descend on Asgard. The Cold One will take his place on the throne and the Frost Giants will rule once again."

The dream faded and you felt hands smoothing your hair back. You heard someone screaming and when you came to, you realized it was you. You were in a cold sweat and thrashing. Once you woke up fully, you stopped and looked up. Loki was staring down at you with concern riddled on his beautiful face.

"What is it?" he asked calmly, with urgency hidden expertly underneath.

"I had a dream," you answered solemnly.


	37. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for the support :) sorry for the second cliff hanger in two chapters. I will update soon though!

You felt the cold sweat on your body making your night clothes stick to you. Loki's cool hands were on your lower back and your cheek as you sat up.

"Will you tell me what it was about?" Loki asked calmly.

You felt your heartbeat slowing at his tranquil tone and you thought back to the situation in your dream. You described everything to him. You told him how the blue creatures wanted to attack Asgard in a week exactly and that they believed they had a man on the inside although he had not acted the way they had wanted him to. You told him that they called that person The Cold One. Your eyes finally focused and you turned to look at Loki. You skimmed your gaze down his bare chest and saw it - the blue scar. Blue skin, red eyes. Frost Giants. You remembered where you had seen it before now. Your brain finally made the connection. When Loki had used his magic to the point of nearly draining it, he had revealed to you that he was not from Asgard. He was a Frost Giant.

For a guilty moment you felt afraid. Had Loki known the stone's true purpose? Was he tempted to let it destroy everything? You shook the thoughts away. All that mattered was that he had saved everyone and at great cost to his well-being.

Loki listened to your dream with an intense gaze. You could tell he was thinking a mile a minute but he said nothing. When you had finished telling him everything, you looked at him hesitantly.

"You're The Cold one... Aren't you?" you asked.

Loki lowered his eyes and sighed.

"Yes, I suppose so."

"So you didn't know that the Prometheus stone was sent for you?" you asked. He snapped his head up.

"No," he answered a little defensively. "Did you think I had?"

"No!" you responded quickly. "I just... It would have been understandable if you had... I would have understood if it was tempting," you tried.

Loki tilted his head almost comically.

"You would have understood if I wanted to let my family and kingdom die so I could rule over Asgard?" he asked through a crooked smirk.

You laughed despite yourself. The idea was ridiculous. Perhaps the Loki that you met at the beginning of your relationship would have been tempted. However, this Loki, this sweet, dedicated Loki would not. It felt good to laugh but you soon realized something. It seemed like Loki was treating this as more than a dream.

"You don't think it's... real right? This dream?"

Loki looked at you thoughtfully.

"I don't think it _was_ a dream," he said. "I think it was a vision. I think when that smoke figure from the stone touched you, it connected you to them. I think somehow it allowed you to see their plans involving it."

You considered this for a moment.

"They said a week," you suddenly realized. "That's Thor and Evangeline's wedding date."

Loki sighed heavily and nodded.

"What do we do?" you asked, suddenly scared. Loki saw the fright in your eyes and kissed you lightly.

"Tell Thor for starters," he answered.

It was nearly dawn and you and Loki dressed quickly. Hand in hand, you walked down the long corridors to Thor's bedroom. You realized that in all your time here you had not been in Thor's quarters. Loki knocked on the heavy door. There was some rustling inside but Thor answered the door in a dressing robe and sleepy eyes.

"Brother," he greeted with a yawn. "And the lovely lady," he added smiling at you.

"We need to talk," Loki said seriously. "Get dressed."

***

Thor asked you a thousand questions about your dream, most of which you only had vague answers if any to. Eva sat quietly beside him, listening intently to all the things you were saying.

"And they wanted Loki to help them?" Thor confirmed.

"I think so," you answered. "It sounded like they thought he would just use it to his, and ultimately their, advantage."

Thor nodded and glanced at his brother with what you thought might be pride.

"Well, luckily my brother is far too good for that."

Loki rolled his eyes and shrugged. You grabbed his hand.

"It's going to happen on your wedding day," you said, sadness invading your voice.

"That's perfect," Eva spoke up. All of you glanced at her with surprise and confusion. She took a deep breath and continued. "We will have all the guards, all the noble people, and all the servants in one place," she explained.

"That makes for one consolidated target," Thor interjected.

"Or, one consolidated army," Eva offered. "We know they're coming. They think we don't. If we arm and train all of our wedding guests... We could take them."

You all considered this for a moment. It wasn't a bad plan.

"It'll be on our turf," you offered. "We know where the exits are, we know the ground. We could set traps even."

Loki hummed his agreement and squeezed your hand in approval.

"What do you think my love?" Thor asked Eva. "How about a war for our wedding?"

Eva smirked and kissed Thor on the cheek.

"I think fighting beside you is what I will be doing my whole life," she said. "Might as well start now."

"And (Y/N) can fight them with their own magic," Thor added.

You nodded in approval. You still had remarkable control over your telekinesis and were more than willing to participate.

"Well, it looks like a plan," Loki said.

Thor nodded. "I'll let everyone know. We're going to need a lot of weapons."

***

Despite Loki's constant placation, you were worried about the wedding/war. As you dressed in your extravagant gown, you could feel the weight of the daggers strapped to each of your legs. Loki held you close to him as you walked towards the Grand Hall where half the kingdom would be gathering to witness the royal marriage. It was a far larger ceremony than yours had been. You were grateful for the intimacy of your wedding. It seemed that wedding days here were starting to take on a theme, namely, violence.

Nonetheless, Loki whispered compliments to you as you walked to your destination. When you entered the Grand Hall you immediately spotted the stone. It was still in the center on it's table, encapsulated with magic. Again you felt the bad vibes from it and skirted around the edges of the room, grasping Loki's hand firmly.

It seemed like you were all there for a play. Thor and Eva were actually getting married, yes, but you all knew it was just killing time, really, until the attack began and you could actually do something about it. The ceremony started and Thor and Eva were about to take their vows when you heard them. There were various shrieks outside the Grand Hall's doors before they suddenly burst open. Ten Frost Giants walked through the doors. Finally you had something to measure their height against. They were probably nine to ten feet tall you would have wagered.

Watching the tall, blue, men walk into the room, you realized everything was calm. Not calm, but certainly not the explosive fighting you had assumed would have broken out upon their arrival. The one who had been sitting in your dream seemed to lead the pack. He walked up to Thor and looked down at him.

"The Cold One," his booming voice reverberated off the walls. "Where is he?"

Thor said nothing.

"Loki?!" The giant bellowed across the room.

You felt Loki's hand leave yours and he stepped forward. He stepped in front of you and you could tell from his body language that he intended for you to stay behind him.

"Yes?" he answered cheekily, as though someone had rang for him.

You silently cursed his boldness. Not that you wanted him to cower in fear, nor was it his nature, but you desperately, with all your soul, did not want the giants to hurt him.

The lead Frost Giant turned to Loki with a sneer and stepped closer to him.

"You refused our gift," the giant said. He stomped over to where Loki stood.

"Wasn't my style," Loki answered, looking at his nails with nonchalance.

"Not your style?" the giant repeated. "We gave you an opportunity, brother."

Loki's head snapped up at the term of familial relation.

"What?" he spat.

"We both know it should be a Frost Giant on the throne of Asgard, not that little pup."

Loki glanced at Thor and back at the giant.

"I am no Frost Giant," he said.

The giant laughed.

"You have Frost Giant blood, brother. Whether you like it or not." The giant gazed at Loki with intense scrutiny. "And we know you have an intense thirst for power. Even a fool could have felt it. You would kill for the throne, wouldn't you?" he asked.

Loki was seething. You could almost see the hatred sizzling off of him.

"Blood does not mean everything," he stated. "I was given a home here, a life. I chose to stay here even when I found out what I... Who I was."

The giant looked almost amused by Loki, like he was watching a show.

"And as for power, I may have wanted it once, yes, but that has changed now. I've changed now," he added.

The giant laughed again.

"How is that?" he asked.

Loki glanced back at you and motioned for you to come forward.

"I found something else worth fighting for," he said calmly, taking your hand.

This seemed to be too much for the giant. He laughed for a long while. You suddenly felt foolish.

"Love, is it?" the giant asked when he had recovered.

"Love, life, reason to be, take your pick really," Loki offered in that casual manner.

"She has made you weak, brother," the giant said. "We thought we knew you. We've been watching you, waiting. We thought you would want to take the throne, the power, your rightful place!"

"You're wrong," Loki spat back. "She has made me strong. She's made me strong enough to realize that power is not everything. I do not need the throne for influence. I can do good for Asgard just because she makes me good. She makes me better in every sense."

The giant considered this for a moment and walked back towards his friends. They had all stood quietly watching the exchange, weapons relaxed at their sides. The giant turned again to face Loki.

"Well, brother, if you will not fight with us, you will fight against us."

With that, the Frost Giants all readied their weapons and lunged. The wedding party whipped out their weapons in response and all hell broke loose.


	38. Chapter 38

The Frost Giants were large, but they were not particularly fast. This worked for your advantage. With the amount of armed guests at the wedding, they were able to take about five Frost Giants, leaving the rest to you, Loki, Thor, and Eva.

Thor swung his hammer around and knocked one of the five giants across the room, knocking him out. Loki created multiple images of himself and distracted another, getting stabs with his dagger in when he could. Eva wielded a sword gracefully and reminded you a lot of Frigga. She was able to keep a third giant down. 

You focused on the Frost Giant currently in front of you. He was not the tallest of the ten, but he was well-muscled. His bulky features twisted into a snarl and he swung a club at you. You moved your hand, using your powers to suspend the club in the air. You hit him with his own club via your powers and heard Loki snicker in approval from behind the giant. Your hit did not stun the giant for long though and he came at you with his large hands. You stepped back, checked the ground behind him, and, finding it clear, knocked the giant over with your powers. You could feel the energy starting to drain from you. Moving such a large object was no easy task. You tried to maintain focus. You kept the giant down, pinning his hands and feet with the power of your mind. You then used the club to knock him on the head repeatedly until he was unconscious. You couldn't bring yourself to kill him so you disarmed him until someone else figured out what to do with him.

You were feeling pretty good about your fighting and you looked up. The nobles and guards had the other giants in combat. It seemed to you as though they were doing a pretty good job of at least not getting killed. Loki had his giant down, as did Thor. They were both looking at you as your gaze darted towards Eva's scream. The giant she had been fighting was charging at her. Your eyes searched desperately for her sword and found it lying three yards behind her. She screamed again and lunged for the sword as the giant lunged for her. You didn't think, you just swiped your hand back and the giant went flying backwards into the wall. That amount of energy drained you more than you had ever felt. The air left your lungs and the world went blurry. Sound drifted in and out. You suddenly felt your knees buckle and collapse as the world went dark.

***

"She's waking up," you heard a feminine voice say. As you became more aware, you realized it was Eva's voice that had spoken.

Another voice spoke your name and you recognized it as Loki's. Your eyes opened and then immediately shut at the bright lights of the healing wing. _Oh great,_ you muttered to yourself, _I've done it again._

"What happened?" your own voice sounded extremely weak and almost unfamiliar.

You tried opening your eyes again, slowly this time, and found Loki leaning over your bed, worry riddled on his features.

"You did too much," Loki said. "Again," he muttered.

"What Loki is trying to say," Eva interjected, "Is that you saved my life."

"I did?" you asked. The memories were foggy at best at the moment.

"Yes," she smiled gratefully at you. Thor was standing behind her, holding her as if she might evaporate into the air at any moment. "You pushed the giant out of the way right before he... Well, you saved me, anyway," she finished.

"Afterwards it was just a matter of clean up," Thor said happily. "Our plan worked. We were able to take out all the giants. They are in our holding cells now until we decide what to do with them."

Loki was still almost glaring at you.

"Did you not learn before?" he asked you, seriously.

"I know," you almost laughed at your foolishness. "But did _you_ not learn before?" You cocked an eyebrow. "I don't think, I just... protect."

Loki shook his hand and knelt by your bed.

"You could have been killed," he said seriously. "Again."

"So could Eva," you countered. "But here we both are."

"Thanks to you," Eva said.

"Give us a minute?" Loki asked Thor and Eva. Thor gave his brother a warning look but conceded.

Once you were alone in the room you had flashbacks to the last time you'd used too much of your powers. You turned to Loki and cut him off before he could speak.

"Don't you dare scold me," you warned him. "What I choose to do in battle is my business."

"I wouldn't _scold_ you," Loki rolled his eyes.

"What were you going to say then?" you asked.

"I was going to say," Loki started, with heaviness, "That you are the bravest woman I have ever known. And you continue to prove that I am unworthy of such a goddess of wisdom and bravery."

You felt your breath taken away. That wasn't what you expected him to say.

"Oh," was all you could muster. You recovered in a moment. "Well... I was just being--"

"You were just being you," Loki finished with a smile. He climbed into bed and wrapped his arms around you. Already you could feel the strength coming back at his touch.

"Did you mean what you said before?" you asked. "About not wanting power anymore?"

Loki nuzzled against you.

"Yes," he said. "Among other things, that is something you have changed in me. The giant was right. There was a time when I had considered terrible things in order to take what I thought was mine."

"And now?" you asked.

"And now," he said softly, stroking his fingers through your hair. "I have more important things to attend to."

"Like what?" you asked playfully, enjoying his touch.

"Like... A different sort of power. One that we can use together."

You were confused for a moment until he continued.

"Life," he said. "The power to give life."

You immediately felt your cheeks heat up and your lips curl into a smile.

"You want to start trying... For real?" you asked.

"Yes," he said.

"Can you imagine what our child would be like?"

Your mind wandered to a million different places. Rosy cheeks and dark black curls; tiny fingers and toes; mischievous grins and tiny giggles.

"I can," you conceded. "She would have your eyes."

"She?"

"Yeah," you said. "Or he," you amended. "Do you have a preference?"

"No," Loki answered.

"And she would read, of course," you added. "And probably draw."

"And she would be adventurous. And shoot arrows better than any man," Loki contributed.

You giggled in an affirmative and kept imagining.

"She would give Thor a run for his money," you offered.

"That's not hard to do," Loki teased.

You laughed and let it die out as you both ruminated in the thoughts of your future child.

"I love you," Loki said after a while.

"Forever," you completed your old saying.

You spent the night in the healing wing; Loki snuggled up next to you all night. You dreamt of defeating blue monsters and of a small, raven-haired child that might one day come to be a reality.


	39. Chapter 39

It felt like more than just a week that you were forced to stay in the healing wing. Loki and Thor had both insisted you stay and make sure you had regained your full strength. You nearly broke through the healing wing's doors on your rush out of there. It was nice to relax for a while, but you missed being able to move around and go where you pleased. More than anything you missed being able to sleep next to Loki. No matter how many tricks he tried, the head healer always came in and ushered him out, leaving you to sleep alone.

It wasn't so much that you couldn't handle the nightmares without Loki - you managed - but you knew with his strong arms around you that you were safe. Alone in the healing wing, you weren't so sure. Your dreams revolved mainly around Loki, Thor, and Eva being brutally killed by Frost Giants. When you woke you would tell yourself how silly you were being. You had defeated the Frost Giants. They were contained in Asgard's heavily guarded prisons. They couldn't hurt you or anyone anymore. You were all safe. And yet, the fear that they had caused you seemed to have done permanent damage.

You looked forward to the end of those dreams, or at least comfort from them once you left the healing wing. That day, Loki accompanied you back to your room. He let you wander around, pick up some books he had gotten for you. He watched you carefully, like he was afraid you might break apart.

"Feels like longer than a week," you murmured, collapsing on your bed. You patted the empty space next to you and Loki willingly obliged.

"You're telling me," he grumbled as slipped out of his shirt and slid in next to you, wrapping his arms around you and kissing your forehead. "It was absolutely dreadful without you. I didn't sleep at all."

"Me either," you concurred.

"When we're apart it's like... A piece of me is missing. Like I'm missing a limb or something," Loki mused, running his fingers through your hair. "It's dreadfully annoying."

You chuckled.

"Yes," you agreed. "Incomplete is the word you're looking for."

"Correct, as always," Loki murmured, nibbling at your ear.

You rolled over to face him. Your eyes trailed down to that streak of blue on his chest. A reminder of a part of Loki you had only recently come to know. The Frost Giant part of him.

"Loki," you asked, carefully.

His attention snapped from your ear to your eyes at the change in your tone.

"What is it?" he asked.

You ran your finger over the blue skin and looked at him cautiously.

"When we... have our child... Will it be... Part Frost Giant?" you asked. You tried to sound merely inquisitive, but you were worried that the fear created by the event and the dreams had seeped through.

Loki looked away, seemingly ashamed.

"I'm sorry," you nearly choked. You hadn't anticipated the emotion that would follow the question. There was a storm inside you. You were worried that your child might turn out like those things that attacked the people you loved. You worried that Loki might take offense at your asking and hate you for it.

Loki turned back to you with concern on his face. He lifted your chin with his slender finger.

"Hush, little one," he cooed. "It's okay. I should have known you might wonder."

You tried to stop the tears that had started. You sat up and wiped them away. You pulled your knees to your chest and looked at Loki for any sign of an answer. Loki sighed and sat up. You looked at the man you loved - the Frost Giant you loved. If your child was anything like Loki it would be a good thing, right?

"I am no expert," Loki began. He did not move to touch you yet. He wanted to explain and give you space. "I believe that since Odin found me when I was only an infant, there is little Frost Giant left in me. He used very powerful magic to change me to be more like him. Obviously some remained," he looked down at his blue scar. "But for the most part, I am every bit like the rest of them. As for our child... I do not know. You have Midgardian blood in you. That may affect the outcome as well." He paused and tried to read your face. You were simply listening, trying to figure out what it all meant to you. "I believe that we would make a beautiful child," Loki said simply.

"Me too," your voice sounded weak but you were not lying. You took a deep breath and continued. "And even if she is one of... A Frost Giant... She will be _ours._ " You saw the edges of Loki's lips twitch upwards.

"Ours," he repeated.

You leaned in tentatively and kissed him. He kissed you back, sliding his hands around your lower back. You straddled him, nestling into his lap while your tongues explored each others mouths. Your fingers knotted in his hair, holding him to you. Your chest rose and fell with your heated breaths as you felt your whole being come to life. It had been far to long since this had happened. And now your love-making would not be just for you or Loki. It would be for a greater purpose.

You ran your hands down Loki's bare chest and to the growing bulge in his pants. You undid his pants and he moved to help you rid him of them. You turned around so he could unlace your dress. You let it slip off your shoulders while you looked back at him through hooded lids. You could see the love radiating off of him. He looked at you as though you were the last star in a black sky. You let the rest of the dress slide off you and turned to face him. You moved to kiss him and his hand wrapped around your waist, pulling you towards him. He rolled you onto your back, all the while kissing you passionately.

He nipped at your lower lip while his hand slid down to cup your breast. He smiled as you moaned in his mouth. Loki trailed his hand further down to play with your clit. He drew a needy moan from your lips as he began to play with you, all the while never breaking his kiss. He judged how close you were from your breathing and felt that you were ready for him. You widened your legs and lined him up at your entrance. He broke the kiss then to watch your face as you rolled your eyes back from the pleasure of him entering you. He rolled his hips and you involuntarily rolled up to meet him. You kept eye contact with each thrust. He was slow at first, making sure you were comfortable. You dug your fingernails into his shoulders, silently begging him for more. As his thrust went deeper and became faster, you were both left breathless. Only when you climaxed together, watched each other unravel, and regained composure did your breathing and heart rates return to normal.

As Loki lay beside you, staring up at the canopy as you were, you wondered. Would you conceive? What would your child be like? Loki had mentioned that your Earth blood might change what was considered normal around here. And yet, you couldn't help but encourage the excitement you felt. You had never pictured yourself as a mother. You had been far too young and too immature to even consider it. Since you came here, you'd grown up in many ways. You'd found the love of your life and the perfect place to live. The Frost Giant and the Girl from Earth. It sounded like some ridiculous bedtime story.

You smiled to yourself as you snuggled up next to Loki. The thing about most bedtime stories, though, was that they always had a happy ending.


	40. Chapter 40

It was getting a little frustrating at this point. You and Loki had been trying for months to get pregnant with no success. You had talked with Eva about it, Thor had no doubt talked to Loki about it, they both had their old wives tales for help with fertility but nothing worked. You and Loki would make love, but always in the back of your minds now there was this pressure. Would this be the one? Would it ever be the one? You weren't even that focused on each other anymore. You hadn't realized how badly you wanted a child and were now trying desperately to have one. It felt like you were in one of those dreams where you're running but you don't move forwards.

Finally, you went to the healers. You and Loki were both feeling defeated, and despite his encouraging whispers and loving touches, he was losing steam. What would happen if you could not conceive? Adoption? It wasn't out of the realm of possibilities. And yet, the idea of your and Loki's souls brought together in a child was too amazing to give up on just yet. As you approached the healing wing, a young nurse came up to you.

"May I help you?" she asked in a sugary voice. She looked very young although her eyes seemed as though they'd been through wars.

You wrung your hands awkwardly and glanced at Loki. It was a strange situation, asking someone to help you make a life.

"We, um, we are having some trouble," you murmured. She leaned in closer to hear your quiet voice. "We were wondering if you knew any potions or remedies for us. We're trying to have a baby."

You could feel the blush on your cheeks. Loki kissed the top of your head and wrapped his arm around your waist. The nurse smiled prettily and nodded. 

"There is a flower," she offered. Your heart leapt with excitement. "But it is extremely rare. It grows on Agora Mountain just on the edge of the Asgardian forest. It is called Ninatum. It is a yellow flower with blue pollen and glows when sung to."

You tilted your head, trying to imagine such a flower. You would never get used to this world and all its wonder.

"Do you have any?" Loki asked eagerly, leaning forward.

"No, I'm afraid it's a very long way away and you are not able to take horses up the mountain," she answered sadly. Your heart sank for a moment.

"Could you write us directions?" you asked, glancing up at Loki. He gave you a small nod. You and he had known that you were going to have to go after this flower.

The nurse nodded and left to get some paper.

"This could be it," Loki said, turning to you. You couldn't help but sigh. The tips from your friends had been more whimsical. This was something the healers would use. You were sure it would work. It had to. You looked up at him with vulnerability and he kissed your forehead.

"I hope so," you whispered.

Loki looked at you with his emotions clearly displayed in his beautiful eyes. He was worried, sad. You wanted to tell him that it was probably all your fault, that perhaps you were not meant for motherhood and couldn't give him a child. Instead you wrapped your arms around him and nestled under his chin. The nurse returned with a folded piece of paper.

"Thank you," Loki said, and he really meant it. He took the paper from her and unfolded it. It listed the roads to take towards the edge of the forest and the paths to take once you were on the mountain.

***

It didn't take long to get to Agora Mountain. As you and Loki rode your horses to the base of the mountain, you gazed up at the magnificent landmark. It was full of different colored trees, all lining the edges. Small peaks of rock snuck out in between them. It was very steep-looking and you weren't surprised that riding up the mountain was ill advised. You praised your choice of pants and shoes. They would be useful in the steep climb to come.

Loki tied your horses up at a nearby tree and left them with some food and water. You were not sure how long you would be gone, but you did not plan on staying the night there. Loki took your hand and you began your journey. At first it was silent. You and Loki climbed a steep path, breathing heavily with the dense air. You helped each other when you needed to find footing and pulled each other through difficult patches. You tried to keep a happy atmosphere, but it was difficult. This seemed like your last shot at having your own child. There was that same pressure you felt when making love again. You tried to force your mind away from the strain.

"Would you ever have guessed," you offered, "That when we first met, we would have ended up here?" You threw him a playful smile, thinking it might make him laugh, but instead you found he had gone pale. There was worry in his face, his brows creased with concentration. "I said something wrong," you said, suddenly wondering what had happened. He jerked his head up towards you.

"No, little one, never," he said, his voice strained. You stopped your climb so you could breathe while trying to figure out what happened.

"What was it?" you asked, extending your hand for his. He took it and pressed it to his lips.

"Nothing," he answered. You shot him a look that said you were not buying it. "It's just... How could I be a father when I was that _monster_?" he asked plainly. There was pain in his face and you wanted to take it all away.

"What?" was all you could ask. That was ridiculous. Perhaps he had been a little rougher around the edges then, but that didn't matter now.

"How could someone like me ever father a child?" he asked. "I know it's my fault. I know that the powers that be do not wish that upon an innocent baby. Not to mention the fact that I barely deserve you, let alone a child of my own." It seemed to be pouring out of him like blood from a gaping wound. You had no gauze. You just stared at him. "And I can't give you what you want, what we want. I am the reason, love, don't you see?"

At this point the tears had started falling from your eyes. Loki looked up and quickly shushed you, wiping the tears away.

"How could you think that?" you choked out.

"The man I was, the man I am? How could that be something nurturing for a child?" he asked. "I am not the father of a child, I am the monster that fathers tell their children about at night."

There was that insecurity you had known was always lurking below his confident-looking exterior. It broke your heart.

"You are that man," you agreed. "Part of you is that violent, out of control man, yes," you continued calmly, stroking the back of his hand. "But, you have grown, Loki. You couldn't be the man you are now without the man you were. I couldn't have loved you if you were not a good man, and you are Loki, you are the best. And you deserve everything," you were rambling all the feelings you had. It had been a stressful few months to say the least and it was just coming out now, everything you'd built up. "If anything, it's my fault." His attention snapped from self pity to almost anger.

"Don't you dare say that," he warned, an edge to his voice present that you hadn't heard in a long time.

"It must be true. There is no way this is on you. It's the universe telling me that I was not meant to be a mother." Now all your insecurities were pouring out. "I wouldn't know what to do. I'd mess up, I just know it. Something would go wrong and it would be my fault."

You felt your chest start to heave as you cried, letting out all the fears and frustrations that trying to have a child had brought on. Loki wrapped his arms around you and let you cry it out.

"My love, it is not you."

"Well it's not you," you countered. "You are the most amazing man and would make the most amazing father, Loki. Perhaps you were the thing of monster stories at one time, but you have changed into the hero. You are the father that tells their child that perhaps the monsters are just in need of some love."

The edges of Loki's mouth twitched up at that thought.

"I love you, so much," was all he said. You knew that he meant it far more deeply than words could express because you felt the same.

You wiped the rest of your tears away and stepped back from Loki for a moment. You felt better, lighter even. Something about that confrontation had cleaned away the the infectious thoughts of your subconscious. You had to know better. You had to know that a love like yours could not be tainted. You would have a child someday. It would work because you wanted it to. It would work because you and Loki deserved it.

Loki turned to look behind him. He then looked back at the paper and again behind him.

"Look," he said, pointing. At first you didn't see anything, but you walked closer. You could barely see the yellow petals poking out behind the tall grass.

You parted the grass and saw that it did have blue pollen. You sang softly and the flower began to glow. Loki was not looking at the beautiful, miracle flower, he was looking at his beautiful, miracle wife. You did as the nurse had instructed and plucked the petal of the flower, tucking it safely in the pocket of your pants.

There was a change in the air between you and Loki. There was that familiar ease again. For some reason, and you doubted it was actually the flower, you felt like you would be successful next time. You wondered if the nurse knew that old cliche about it not being about the destination but the journey, and had extorted that. It mattered not. You and Loki walked hand and hand down the mountain and back to your waiting horses. You were famished and ate when you got back to the castle. You gave the petal to the nurse who ground it up with some other potion materials. She then poured it into tea. You drank it quickly as it was sweet and calming.

That night when you and Loki made love, you were not distracted. It did not matter if this time was the time that created your child. You watched each other unravel with pleasure and love, completely absorbed in each other. It was the two of you coming together. No worries, no fears, no baggage, just the two of you. Two souls, creating another.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> slowly but surely making my way through this story! hope you're still enjoying it. hoping to do some cute stuff when you have your child :) thanks for the love


	41. Chapter 41

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow sorry it took like ten million years to add something, and sorry it's so short. like I said, I'll try to keep updating at least a little every now and then. cheers to those of you still reading this, you're the best!

Apparently peeing on a stick was a very foreign concept in Asgard. Judging by the disgusted and confused look on Loki's face, which made a silly giggle escape your lips, that was not how you were going to confirm your suspicions.

After throwing up the first morning, you thought maybe you had some kind of food poisoning, but after the second and third mornings in a row, you started to realize... this might be it. You had been staring at yourself in the mirror when Loki walked in. Your hands were on your bare stomach and you were imagining what it would be like if you were actually pregnant this time. You could hold life inside you, nurture it, bring it into this wonderful, magical world, with Loki. You felt his cool, bare arms wrap around yours and he kissed the top of your head.

"Hungry?" he asked with a sly smile.

You shook your head and gave him a meaningful look. When you asked about the pregnancy test and the details of the procedure, Loki's face twisted into the most amusing look. He informed you that healers would simply scan you with a sort of magical energy and be able to tell the details of your condition.You sighed happily. Of course it was something magical and awesome here. Peeing on a stick suddenly seemed so Earthly.

When you had dressed, Loki was standing at the door, ready to take you to the healers. He looked excited. You were excited too, but also scared. You lingered by the bed, biting your nails nervously.

"What is it, my love?" Loki asked sweetly.

"What if... What it was just food poisoning?" you asked shyly. "What if I'm not..." You couldn't even bring yourself to say it.

Loki strode across the room and wrapped you in his arms.

"Then we keep trying," he said simply. He glanced down at you and you nodded.

Part of you wanted to run down to the healing wing, but part of you still wanted to hide away in your room, scared of possibility of yet another negative result. Loki led you towards one of the head healers. You hadn't been down here for testing before because there had been no indication of pregnancy. Your morning sickness had been the first sign of anything. The healer had lovely brown hair and comforting green eyes. She led you into a private room with a examination table in the center. You laid down as instructed; Loki never let go of your hand.

The healer told you to breathe normally as she waved her hands, expelling a yellow light, much like Loki's magic. The light wrapped around you, glowing in certain spots and seeming to emit some kind of numerical information which the healer read quickly. Loki was smiling as he looked at the lights but he said nothing. You wondered if he could read it, and if so, did his smile mean what you dared to hope it meant?

The healer waved her hands again and the light was gone. She motioned for you to sit up and you did so, gripping Loki's hand tighter now. He pulled it to his lips and kissed it.

"Well," she said, brightly. "I think you better get the cribs ready."

"What?!" you exclaimed. "Really?"

"Really," she smiled.

"We're going to have a baby!" you nearly exploded with happiness. You turned to Loki, expecting to see pure joy on his face. You did see this, also mixed with amusement. "What?" you asked, unsure of why he had that _you've missed something funny_ look on.

You thought back to what the healer had said.

Oh.

"Cribs," you repeated. "More than one.... Babies. Plural." Loki nodded and smiled even wider. You felt a surge of panic at first. You had not prepared for one miracle, let alone more. That feeling was suddenly followed by extreme happiness. More than one child. More than one physical representation of your and Loki's love. "How many?" you asked.

"Twins," the healer responded happily.

"Twins," you repeated.

"Are you happy, darling?" Loki asked.

You turned to him and smiled.

"Ecstatic."

"I'll give you two a minute," the healer said quietly, nodding before leaving.

You turned back to Loki.

"We did it," you said.

"We certainly did," he replied.

There was a glow about him now. It was such a mix of emotions it was hard to read, but you could feel the energy. Gone were his fears of being a bad father. There was a confident, excited glow now. This was something you two could do together. You could have these children, raise them, teach them, love them.

"I feel like I'm going to explode," you breathed, realizing your heart had finally slowed to a normal pace.

"I know the feeling," Loki said.

He helped you down off the table. You turned to leave, but he pulled you back and held you close. He pressed his lips to yours for a sweet, long kiss.

"I love you, little one," he whispered.

You sighed into his chest and nestled close.

"I love you too," you replied.

The mere words did not seem enough for the feelings raging inside you at the moment. You had to content yourself with knowing that Loki felt the same. You were beyond words by now, and this only added to the distance beyond language. Twins. You felt your stomach with your hands again, knowing that the lives you and Loki had created were beginning. And soon enough, not unlike their mother had once done, they would enter a new world of their own.


	42. Chapter 42

When you told Thor the good news, you weren't sure you'd survive the mammoth hug he gave you. Luckily, Eva was there to coax him away from his near death grip of happiness. She gave you a light hug of her own and you felt the pure love and happiness they both felt for you as clear as day. You reminded yourself how lucky you were to be surrounded by such amazing people.

Thor could not stop beaming at the two of you. He gave his brother a hardy slap on the shoulder.

"My brother, a father," he grinned. You had expected to see some hesitation or concern on Thor's face considering how self-conscious Loki had been about his impending fatherhood. You should have guessed that Thor would have unlimited faith in his brother's ability. Thor showed no concern at all and in fact praised many attributes that Loki would hopefully pass on to your children.

The two royals insisted on throwing you a baby shower. You and Loki steadfastly refused, but of course that meant nothing. In no time, Eva had put together a party of sorts. Royals and nobles from all over came to celebrate the good news. Even if it was not their favorite royal, they still came out of respect for Thor. And they brought presents. A part of you knew that you would never want for anything being the wife of a prince, but it was still exciting to open presents and marvel at the things these people could afford to give you. Once you and Loki had gone through all the gifts and thanked everyone endlessly, you were served a marvelous dinner. You dined well and had a great time. Some people had started to leave by the end of the meal and the crowd was starting to thin out. You were surveying the remaining people when you felt Loki take your hand.

"Come with me," he whispered in your ear.

You glanced at his face and noticed that familiar mischief in the glint of his eyes and the turn of his mouth.

"What for?" you asked innocently.

"I haven't given you my present yet," he said.

"I didn't think we were supposed to--" you started, suddenly feeling at a loss. You hadn't gotten Loki anything.

"We weren't... And I haven't... well, it's not for you so much, as for them," he motioned to your stomach.

You arched an eyebrow, intrigued. Knowing he had your attention, Loki led you outside. You had no idea where you were going at first. Finally you recognized the path to the stables. What could he possibly have hidden in there?

You noticed the pleasant aroma in the air from the flowers that bloomed at night and heard what you assumed to be the equivalent of the Asgardian Nightingale singing. You smiled to yourself, still loving that this world had so many mysteries left for you.

Loki led you into the stables and walked towards the back stalls. He stepped lightly and you followed suit. He stopped at the last stall on the left and opened the door. You peered around the corner and he stood back and watched you. Looking in, you saw a very large, sleeping, horse. No, it wasn't just large... it was pregnant.

"What is this?" you asked.

"Her name is Darla," he responded. "She, too, is pregnant with twins."

"Oh," you said, not really understanding.

Loki took your hands and you turned to him.

"It can be... lonely growing up a royal," he explained. "I thought it might be nice if our children had companions. Yes, they will have each other, but that is not always enough. There is something about having an animal companion. I know it made me feel less alone," he said. There were ghosts of his lonely childhood hanging all around him. You pulled him to you and kissed him.

"I am sorry you were lonely. This is a lovely idea," you said honestly. "I had a dog when I was little," you smiled fondly at the memories. "He was my best friend. I know exactly what you mean. They will love it," you grinned.

Loki smiled, happy you liked his present.

"It's hard for me to think of you all alone," you said suddenly. "I can only imagine."

"It was a bit dark in Thor's shadow at times," Loki admitted. "But I found ways of coping. I found that isolation was often the most successful method for me."

He said it so easily as if he were always meant to be alone, unloved.

"I would say I wish I could take it all away, that you could live a happy, inclusive childhood," you began. "But that would mean that you would not turn out as you have, and I wouldn't change you for the world."

He smiled and held your face in his hands.

"You are more than I deserve," he said, kissing your forehead.

"You know," you said with a hint of mischief, "I may take that back. I can imagine a young, teenaged Loki all alone in his room... I would have liked to meet that boy, I think," you smiled, biting your lip. "I might have had some words for him, among other things," you teased.

Loki arched a brow and smirked.

"Oh?" he asked, "And what would that have been?"

You pulled him in for a desperate, heated kiss. He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you tight against him. You kissed passionately for a long time before pulling away. If this went on for too long, you were going to end up naked in the stables, and you were not about to get hay burns on you.

"Come on," you breathed, pulling Loki back towards the palace. "Bedroom, now," you ordered.

Loki growled, half in impatience and half in arousal. You led him back to your room where you resumed your heated passion from the stables. When you lay together afterwards, disheveled and panting, a thought occurred to you.

"How long were you a teenager?" you asked. It occurred to you that Loki was immortal. How fast did immortal children grow? Were you in for the terrible twos for decades? Centuries?

"The same as a human," Loki answered, rolling to face you. "Immortality is given at birth, but it does not affect growth rates any differently than Midgard. The fates made the nice decision that we should age normally until we reach adulthood. Then we slow way down and live out the prime of our lives indefinitely, essentially."

You considered this. It seemed like the perfect life to you. Again you were hit with the blessings you had been given. Sure, it had been quite a journey to get to this particular spot, but gods had it been worth it.

"We're having babies," you suddenly spurted out. You giggled a little to yourself at the obviousness of your statement. Loki simply gave a lazy smile.

"We're having babies," he repeated with an equal amount of awe.

You rolled over to stare at him. Your Loki. Your beautiful, amazing, Loki. The father of your future children, the love of your life. You looked at him and you wondered how life could get any better. All you had to do was wait nine months to find out.


	43. Chapter 43

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you guys are too nice to me, I love you all <3

You still held your classes for the servants despite the need for you to now pee every twenty minutes (or so it felt like). There was a lot about pregnancy you didn't like such as the constant peeing, the aches, and the fatigue. However, using your growing stomach as your own personal tray was ingenious. Pregnancy also had the bonus of Loki being even more doting than usual to the point where you felt a little guilty letting him do things you could do yourself. Sometimes you'd use your powers to levitate something you wanted over to you, but more often than not, Loki would stop you and claim you shouldn't exert yourself if you didn't have to. You found yourself looking the mirror more often, but not at yourself, although your skin did have a definite (if not cliche) glow about it. You looked at your stomach - at the part of your body which now held two small lives. You couldn't help but wonder what they would be like, look like, feel like. Who they would become. You couldn't wait to get to know them and they weren't even out of the womb yet.

One night, you and Loki lay in bed relaxing. You had your hands on your stomach while Loki sat at the bottom of the bed, massaging your aching feet. Suddenly, you jerked up and clasped your hands tighter to your stomach. Loki looked alarmed at your feet, wondering what he could have done wrong to make you jump like that.

"They kicked!" you nearly screamed with excitement. You felt around and felt the twitch from inside you. That was something you could never have imagined the feel of. It was a moment of truth - that there were actually living things inside of you.

Loki's face lit up and he moved next to you and placed a hand on your stomach. You both waited patiently for something to happen. After a few moments of nothing, Loki took his hand away with a disappointed smile. In another moment they kicked, and you were too late to grab Loki's hand to bring it to your stomach before they stopped. You couldn't help but giggle.

"They must know it's you," you teased. "They're mischievous, just like their father."

Loki's eyes twinkled and he kissed your forehead. He laid his hand unintentionally on your stomach and the babies kicked. He jumped a little and looked at you with awe before he kissed you.

"We made those?" he asked. "They're strong, I can feel them," he smiled.

"We did indeed make these," you smiled back. "And what a future they'll have --"

Just then you heard an urgent knock on the door. You pulled your shirt down over your stomach.

"Who is it?" Loki asked, bored of the intrusion.

"Brother," Thor's voice boomed from outside. Loki rolled his eyes.

"Come in," he said with moderate enthusiasm.

Thor opened the door quickly and slipped inside. From his hurried and cautious nature, you and Loki both adjusted yourselves for more than just a pleasant conversation. Something was up.

"What is it?" Loki asked the question on your mind.

"The giants," Thor responded glumly.

The Frost Giants... You had nearly forgotten about them locked away down there. It had almost seemed like a dream that they had attacked.

"What of them?" Loki asked coldly.

"They're... asking for you," he said, turning to you.

"Me?" you nearly choked out. "Why?" Your head spun with a search for a reason.

Thor looked at the floor for a moment, as if choosing how he wanted to phrase his next sentence. He finally looked at you, you could feel Loki's impatience radiating off of him.

"They said they have something to tell you about your future children," he said seriously.

Your brain tried to connect the dots. What could they possibly know about your children? They must have known something about how Loki's Frost Giant heritage would affect your child right?

"What did they say?" you asked.

"They would not speak to me. When they heard of your pregnancy, they informed the that they had information about your children. I would not have bothered... But they said it was life and death."

You felt your body grow cold with apprehension. You vaguely felt Loki's arm wrap around your shoulder.

"What do you want to do?" Loki whispered.

"I guess... I guess we go see what he has to say," you heard yourself say.

Loki nodded. He helped you up and you followed Thor out of your room. There was always something, wasn't there? Just when you thought you had it all, something got in the way. You mused on this thought while you walked the long, deserted corridors that led to the dungeons. You descended the stairs slowly, dreading each one that brought you closer to what could only be bad news.

Finally, you reached the bottom of the stairs and arrived at a long hallway that was double the width of the usual hallways. There were cells with clear magical shields to hold in the prisoners. You tried not to look at some of the amazing but scary creatures that inhabited these cells. Some jeered, some called out in languages you didn't understand. Loki's grip around your shoulders tightened and you thought you heard a low growl emit from his throat.

Thor led you towards the back. On the last cell, you arrived to see the leader of the Frost giants, standing at the glass, ready for you. A few of his cohorts were sitting in the back. They all looked a little worse for wear. It wasn't from their attach either, these were fresh wounds, wounds from each of them within the cell. You took a deep breath and Thor gestured for you to step up and talk to the giant. You had to look way up to make eye contact. He made you feel even smaller than you were.

"This is Manus," Thor informed you.

"King Manus," the giant corrected.

"I am the king here," Thor reminded him authoritatively. The giant did not fight him further. "Now, tell the princess your tale and be done with it."

Manus gave him an annoyed look, but turned his red eyes to you.

"My darling," Manus said, you shivered at the term of endearment. "So pretty," he went on. "Such a lovely couple," he cooed. "Do you have any idea what you are in for?" he asked darkly.

"What do you mean?" you managed.

Manus smirked. "I mean, are you aware of how the genetics of Frost Giants work?" he asked.

You shrugged. You and Loki had discussed it and decided as long as they were healthy, nothing else really mattered.

"Frost Giant DNA is very dominant. It is very likely you will have children with horrid blue skin and blood-red eyes," he smiled and revealed fangs you hadn't noticed before. You looked at his blue skin and red eyes. He was terrifying, but it was not because of the color of his eyes, rather the wrath and rage behind them.

"Okay," you said, trying your best to sound bored.

"Okay?" he asked, taken aback.

"Yeah, whatever," you said nonchalantly. "Loki and I have discussed this. We don't care what they look like, so long as they're healthy."

Manus looked very confused, clearly not having expected this answer.

"You don't care?" he asked, as if to himself.

"No," you answered. "Why should I?"

You saw Manus' shoulders begin to shake and he started pacing back and forth. Why was he so surprised to find you were not shallow?

"What?" you repeated again.

"You were supposed to care, supposed to be disgusted by us!" he raged.

"Are you aware of who I married?" you nearly laughed. "My husband is part Frost Giant, of course I wouldn't care."

Manus seemed not to be listening to you. He had completely lost his cool facade and was now very enraged that things had not gone as he planned.

"The prophecy," he murmured. "I thought you would... I thought I could stop it."

"The prophecy?" Loki repeated. "What prophecy?"

Manus looked over at him and realized what he had said out loud.

"Nothing," he replied quickly, trying to return to that same uncaring demeanor and failing miserably.

"If you do not explain, I will make things even _more_ uncomfortable for you," Thor warned. "Perhaps you would like a Drakon as a cellmate?"

Manus' eyes flickered with fear for a moment. Then he bowed his head.

"There is a prophecy," Manus explained. "It describes two warriors born of mixed blood who will vanquish evil and make a peaceful universe.  
 He seemed truly disgusted by this idea. "I thought if you were too disgusted by the children, I could offer to raise them with their own kind, teach them the _right_ ways of the world, and eliminate this prophecy."

You nearly burst out laughing.

"That was your plan?" you asked. "You just assumed that Loki and I wouldn't love our own kids because of their heritage and we would just give them to you?" you really wondered what had put that idea in his head.

"I assumed that Loki's self-hatred stemmed from this heritage and that the idea would appeal to him," Manus said.

"I would _never_ give up  my children," Loki spat at him. "I will love with with all that I have, more than that even."

You nearly glowed with pride.

"And as for my wife," he continued. "She is the most selfless, loving, forgiving person in the universe. How could you think she would ever do something like that?" he said. "If she could love something... Someone," he corrected himself, "Like me, she is truly the most accepting woman there is. Nothing could get in the way of her loving something or someone who deserved it. And these kids, I can already tell, deserve it."

You blushed at his compliments and wrapped your arm around his waist. Manus looked on, unbelieving.

"You little--" Manus lunged for Loki.

Although the shield was there, your instinct took over. You pushed your hand away from your body and sent Manus flying backwards with your powers. He flew across the room and smacked into the back wall with a sickly cracking sound. He slunk to the ground as you released him and rubbed his head, eyeing you darkly.

"You will pay for that," he said.

You rolled your eyes at him from behind the thick, magical barrier.

"I seriously doubt that," you sneered. You felt a small chuckle from Loki beside you at your sass.

"Let's go, little one," Loki whispered to you.

You nodded and Thor led the way back up towards your room. As you left the cell behind, you watched Manus continue to glare at you, feeling the boldness of your last statement seep away. Perhaps he couldn't hurt you now, but what if he escaped? What if he knew people on the outside? You had to push those thoughts away for now. Surely nothing would happen to you. Surely you and Loki could keep the four of you safe. You sighed, knowing that for now, you could do nothing about it. You contented yourself with watching Loki as he walked. You admired the curve of his jaw, his raven hair, his fine lips. You wondered how much the children would resemble their handsome father. You hoped rather a lot. But the more you dreamt of their features, the more you realized that they may not appear as you expected.

However, you had not lied before. You truly did not care what they looked like, so long as they were healthy. You thought of yourself as a character in one of your beloved books. This story was still being written, and the ending was not yet decided. It was up to you, Loki, and fate.


	44. Chapter 44

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so there's gonna be at least one more chapter of plot and then idk I was thinking of doing little vignettes after that! thanks to all those who leave lovely comments and kudos, you make my day!

You hated to admit it, but being pregnant was starting to get old. You were nine months along after all, and all this weight gain, mood swing, and back pain business was starting to lose its glamour. Although Loki doted on you, and you knew the ultimate prize lay at the end of the trail, you just couldn't help but wish they would be born already. You wanted to be with them and were tired of waiting. It also didn't help that Manus' threats were still hanging over your head like an ax on a loosening string. You knew he couldn't physically do anything, he was locked away... but still, you felt a sense of foreboding whenever you thought about it... which was all the time.

Loki had started hovering over you like some protective mother bear. You assured him you were fine, but he wasn't buying it. Any time he tried to talk to you about it, assure you that you were safe, you'd brush him off, saying of course you knew you were safe. But you didn't. You were realizing that this world was very much like Earth. No one was safe. Not everyone got a happy ending. You may have thought you entered a fairy tale land, and for the most part you had, but there were still monsters and threats, just like your home world.

Part of you wasn't surprised when Thor barged in one day with the same look on his face as the time he led you to Manus. This time, however, his message was a bit different.

"We have an informant," Thor said seriously. Loki tensed beside you.

"An informant on what?" he asked, trying to sound calm.

"A prisoner across the cell from Manus has come forth saying he has overheard important information."

"About what?" you asked timidly.

Thor turned his pitying gaze to you.

"About your children," he said sadly.

You had already taken a step forward when Loki put a hand on the small of your back.

"Let's go," he said.

The three of you, plus three guards made your way back down towards the cells.

"He is willing to talk for a lessened sentence," Thor said.

"That's not going to happen," Loki spat. Clearly this informant had done something awful then. "But he doesn't need to know that," Loki said with a forced smirk.

"Who is he?" you asked.

Thor turned to you while still keeping his lengthy strides. You had to speed walk to keep up with him.

"His name is Brutus, he's a Troughten, a scaly sort of creature. He is a tricky one, but I believe he does actually have information. He would not risk talking with us if he didn't think it was important enough to possibly get him out of there."

Part of you knew it was wrong to extort information with no intention of keeping the promise of a lessened sentence. Another, stronger, part of you didn't care. If your children were in danger, you'd do anything to protect them.

Instead of taking the turn that led to the hall of cells, Thor took a different turn. It led to what looked like a series of interrogation rooms. Each one was dimly lit and all were empty except for one. True to the description, the informant, Brutus, was exceptionally scaly. He had glowing green eyes and small talons on each of his three fingers. It almost looked like some good sci-fi make up to you. Still, there was an uncomfortable vibe coming from the creature that only intensified when he caught sight of you and smiled. You noticed that he was sitting in a metal chair and chained to the table in front of him.

"Princess," he said. His voice sounded as though he were speaking underwater. He bowed his head in what you assumed was his greeting bow with his limited movement. You grimaced.

"They are here," Thor said. "Now, tell them what you heard of Manus' plans."

Brutus took his time searching your face and body with his eyes.

"You are scared," he said softly. For some reason you knew he wasn't just guessing. Not that it was hard to guess, but you felt like there was more. "I can feel it," he said. His eyes felt like X-ray beams. He paused for a long while before adding, "You should be."

Loki lunged toward him, but you were quick enough to put an arm out to hold him back.

"Keep reading her, and you'll have me to deal with," Loki spat at the creature.

"Reading me?" you asked, more to Brutus than to Loki.

"He's an empath," Loki explained. "He can read people's emotions."

"And might I say there's enough rampaging feelings in this room to fill an ocean," Brutus smirked.

"What do you have to tell us?" you asked sternly. "If you can read us, you know how desperate we are for information."

Brutus nodded casually.

"And my sentence?" he asked.

"Will be reduced," answered Loki.

You wondered if Brutus could detect lies with his ability. You figured that Loki felt no guilt about the lie though, so you figured probably not. Your suspicions were confirmed when Brutus nodded and took a breath.

"I don't usually eavesdrop," he began, "But when I heard what Manus was planning, I dropped right in."

Your throat felt tight and you grasped for Loki for support. You knew whatever was coming was bad from the smile on Brutus' face.

"I didn't catch a time or anything like that, but I did hear that Manus has a guy. On the outside. Some kind of sorcerer. He plans to come in here and take the children away, or kill them. I'm not sure exactly what. But either way, he's coming, and with powers." Brutus slumped down in his chair, satisfied that he had dispensed his information.

You felt cold all over. What you had feared was indeed true. Manus was still coming for your babies. And with a powerful friend.

"Is that all?" Loki asked coolly.

"Yeah," Brutus answered. "Sounded like this sorcerer guy is the real deal. Banished from Asgard a while ago or something. Dark stuff." He seemed to wish he had been friends with this dark wizard.

Loki nodded towards Thor and the three of you turned to leave the room.

"Hey, what about my sentence?" Brutus yelled after you. Loki simply slammed the door shut behind him.

You were in some kind of trance all the way back to your room. Thor left with a slight hug and a muttering of placation. Loki led you to the bed and you sat down, suddenly coming back to awareness, feeling the soft sheets under your fingers.

"What happens if we lose them?" you felt yourself say. You seemed to have no real control over your body. Fear had made you almost robotic. You felt a tear run down your face and Loki quickly wiped it away.

"We won't," he assured you.

You were suddenly grateful you didn't have Brutus' abilities. You didn't want to see what Loki was really feeling at this time. You wanted to believe that he had the utmost confidence in his protection of you. You wanted to believe...

"I'm tripling our security," Loki said, pressing his lips to your forehead. He placed a hand on your stomach. "Nothing's going to harm you. Not while I'm around."

"Loki," you said coldly, solemnly. You stared at him and he at you. "If it comes to it... If there's a choice. You save them."

Loki did not respond for a moment. He had not expected such a statement from you.

"It will not," he assured you. You didn't budge.

"Promise me," you said.

"No," he replied sternly. "It will not come to that, stop it."

"How do you know?" you asked, feeling the hysteria seep into your voice like poison. "How do you possibly know that? We can't prepare for everything. What if Manus comes?" you cried silently, feeling your chest heave. "What if we lose them?"

Loki sighed.

"We won't," he said. "We can't."

"How do you know we won't?" you asked. You wanted answers from him. How could he be so stoic? So unafraid?

"I know because I know us," he said. You listened to his soothing voice as he laid down, bringing you face to face with him. "I know us, I know that we love each other and these babies. I know that we will do whatever it takes to stay together as a family."

He paused, looking to see if you were believing him yet.

"Do you remember when we first met?" he asked.

"Of course," you said, "What does that--"

"What was I?" he asked.

"I don't know," you said thinking back. "Scared, I guess. Of yourself, of what you thought you'd become."

Loki nodded.

"And then what happened?" he asked.

"We fell in love."

"Why's that?" he prompted.

"Because I showed you there was no reason to be afraid. That you didn't have to be alone. That you were worthy of love."

"And which was stronger?" he asked. "Who did I become? and why?"

"You became... you," you said, smiling at his transformation. "Because of our love."

Loki nodded.

"Why is Manus doing this?" he prompted you.

"Fear," you replied. "Fear of a prophecy."

Loki nodded.

"Why are we doing this?" he asked. "Why are we protecting ourselves?"

"Love," you answered. He nodded again.

"Which is stronger? Fear? or love?"

You took a deep breath, seeing where he was going with this.

"Love," you responded. "Obviously." You smiled a minuscule amount at his ability to convince you you'd be okay.

"Obviously," he repeated, mirroring your small smile.

You gave him this small victory of at least calming you down as you turned to lay in his arms. It all sounded very nice of course, love conquering fear and all that... But would it be enough? Would such words mean anything against a Frost Giant and a sorcerer? You weren't willing to bet your children's life on it just yet, but you did let it comfort you some, at least long enough to get you to sleep.


	45. Chapter 45

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so for this story if you're not blonde, you are now, or you at least have the genetics to create blonde hair :)
> 
> also you'll see why it's relevant in the story, but I took some liberties with the word for sun in Latin, it really means light for anyone that cares!

When Thor invited you and Loki to a private dinner with he and Eva on the palace's most scenic balcony, you should have known something was going to interrupt it. You had started feeling sort of nauseous before the dinner and almost cancelled for fear of not wanting to eat anything. However, you decided to soldier through and at least have some bread. You put on your nicest maternity dress, hoping that soon you wouldn't have to dress in the tent-like things for much longer.

You and Loki walked to the balcony and were greeted with a setting sun over a beautiful mountain. Thor and Eva rose to greet you and you met them warmly.

"You are glowing," Eva remarked with a smile. She lightly stroked your stomach with admiration and you smiled.

"Thanks," you responded. "I feel more like a glowing Orca lately," you chided. She gave a confused look. "It's like a whale, like in the ocean," you tried. She nodded.

"Sometimes I forget you're not from here," she admitted, taking a seat.

You sat down as well, with far more difficulty. Loki helped you settle in. 

"Yeah, sometimes I forget too," you admitted with a chuckle.

You shifted in your seat, trying to get comfortable, but you really could not. You searched the table and reached for some bread, more for something to do than out of hunger. The servants arrived with plates of food, the smell of which made you nauseous again for some reason. You then felt a small pain in your abdomen, and felt your lower half growing wet. For a moment you thought you had urinated on yourself, but when you looked down you realized that was not the case.

You took a moment to realize what was happening.

"Um, guys?" you asked the three who were conversing happily with each other. They did not notice or hear you. "Hey, guys?" you tried again, louder. This time they looked at you as you stood up. "I think my water broke."

Loki's face was a look of panic and delight, Thor looked utterly at a loss, and Eva sprung up and almost shouted with glee.

"It's time!" she cheered.

She rushed over to you and grabbed one of your arms, Loki quickly following suit. Thor motioned to a servant to bring a wheelchair over from the healing wing which was just around the corner. In no time they had you situated in the wheel chair and on your way to the maternity section of the healing wing.

You grasped Loki's hand in yours and he kissed the top of your head as you sped down the corridors. Your heart was nearly beating out of your chest and you almost didn't notice the growing pain in your hips and birth canal.

When you arrived, you were greeted by a flurry of healers. One held a damp cloth to your head while two others hoisted you up and led you over to an chair that looked very similar to ones you'd seen in earth hospitals for child birth. You were biting your lip, trying to hold back the screams of pain that wanted to erupt from your throat.

"Are you in pain, highness?" a healer asked you.

You nodded vehemently, not trusting your voice.

She nodded and quickly waved her hand in the air around you. A bright white light formed quickly, seeming to draw in the air around your lower half. With it went the pain you had been feeling. This bright, comforting light had the effects of what you would assume Morphine would do, but without making you feel loopy. You sighed in relief and laid back, watching the healers place a blanket over your legs, hoist your legs in the stirrups, and take a seat between your legs. It should have felt very invasive, but all you could focus on was the bright light and Loki's hand in yours.

You looked up at him. He was so goddamn beautiful. In this moment, in every moment. And not just his flawless features or the way his eyes lit up when he looked at you. In this moment, for some reason, you felt you could see into his soul and it glowed even brighter than the orb floating above you that nearly blinded you. You gave him a content smile, hoping he understood the depth of what you were feeling at this moment.

You vaguely heard someone say, "Push," and you turned your attention to the healers between your legs.

"Push, m'lady," she repeated.

You focused and pushed. You breathed and pushed. You almost wished you could see what was happening down there, but at the same time you were scared. First, you remembered those health videos you saw in your classes. Those were not a pretty sight, no matter how lovely the miracle of life is. Second, and you hated to admit it, but not knowing what your children were going to look like was something you had not expected when you had thought about your future children in the past. You knew you were going to love them no matter what, but you wished you had some indication at the same time.

You felt a little pressure and then a small amount of release. Suddenly, you heard a small voice crying. The healer held the baby below the sheet that covered your legs so you could not see yet. You saw another healer come and dry the child off before raising it above the sheet.

"It's a girl," she beamed, holding up the child.

It was a girl, a beautiful, pink, very human-looking girl. You smiled and looked at Loki. He couldn't take his eyes off of her.

"Again, m'lady," the healer prompted. "Push."

You did as you were told and continued pushing. Again you felt the pressure and release. This time the crying did not come right away. Your heart did not beat again until you heard that faint, small cry.

"And a boy!" the healer smiled. She wiped the child off and handed it up, revealing yet another very human-looking baby.

You couldn't help it and you started to cry. The healers helped Loki cut the umbilical cords and then they laid your two new beautiful souls on your chest.

You cradled your newborns in your arms and wept as if you, too, were a child. You smiled through all this crying as you held them. You kissed them and cuddled them, feeling as though you would explode from happiness. You felt Loki kiss your forehead. He stared down at the three of you with the utmost pride and joy.

The healers did their best to clean you up so you could have a few moments alone. They instructed you that you should feed them soon and they would return in a few moments to help you with that.

Once they left the room, all of them with adoring smiles on their faces, you turned to Loki. Gesturing for him to take the girl and join you, he nestled in close, carefully taking the small life in his arms.

"We did it," you managed to say through your tears. You noticed that his cheeks were in no dry state either.

You laid side by side with a baby each.

"We did this," Loki affirmed, looking disbelievingly at the small thing that lay in his arms. She cooed slightly and he looked up at you with a smile.

You sat in silence for a moment before a thought occurred to you.

"What will we name them?" you asked. You remembered having a conversation about your future child, but not really name oriented, and certainly not in expectation of having two children.

You and Loki looked at your two ethereal children for a long time. They had both been born with a small amount of hair. Their tired eyes looked up at both of you. They both had Loki's green, daring eyes. The girl had his raven black hair paired with a darker shade of green, almost gray eyes. The boy had your light blond hair and stunning, bright green eyes.

"The Moon and the Sun," you mused, noting their stark differences.

Loki tilted his head to the side.

"What?" you asked.

"Luna, and Lumen," Loki murmured in a slight accent.

"Latin?" you guessed. Loki nodded.

"Luna," you smiled, looking at the girl. "Lumen," you repeated, gazing at the boy.

You turned to Loki and he nodded, smiling. You heard a small knock and the healers re-entered.

***

After cleaning up and feeding your babies for the first time, the healers decided it would be fine if you and Loki returned to your room for the night, seeing as there were no complications.

Thor and Eva dropped by with two stuffed dragon toys and cooed over the little ones. You were extremely tired and they were not ignorant to that fact. They visited for a little while and then took their leave, promising to stop by again soon once you had had time to sleep.

The healers then helped you and Loki gather some materials you would need for the night and you each carried a child back to your room. A crib had been brought for the babies while you were away, a gift from Thor and Eva, you had no doubt. You did not want to part from your babies, even if it was only a few feet from your bed. These little beings, these little parts of you and Loki were the most incredible things you had ever done.

However, you were extremely exhausted and didn't doubt you could fall asleep standing up so you thought it best to put the babies in the crib for the time being for their own safety. When you did, you stayed standing over their crib for a long time. You and Loki just stared at them, bewitched. You watched their little pink fingers and toes wiggle. You listened to their little gurgles and grunts. You couldn't wipe the stupid smile off your face.

You noticed that Lumen's hand was moving and something caught your eye. A small little purple glow, just like yours.

"Look!" you nudged Loki and pointed at Lumen's hand.

Loki nearly gasped.

"Do you think he has your powers?" he asked.

As Lumen continued to wriggle around, his hand moved slightly, moving the edge of the blanket the smallest degree.

"I believe so," you said proudly. You gazed at Luna. "I wonder if she inherited your magic," you mused. No doubt Loki's magic was more intelligence based than emotional as your was. It wasn't surprising that the child with your powers would manifest them earlier, only needing to feel something to be able to use it.

You suddenly felt as though you were carrying a hundred pounds on your shoulders. You needed rest or your body would collapse and force it on you. You made your way over to the bed and sat down, removing your flats. Loki helped you get comfortable and slipped out of his shirt and into the bed behind you. You watched his lean form as he did this and sighed.

"At least one of us still looks good," you half-joked, feeling the excess of skin from your pregnancy around your stomach.

"Mm," Loki hummed. "If it weren't for me, we'd be the perfect looking couple," he said, not missing a beat.

You chuckled. Self deprecation wasn't really your style anyway, but it was nice of him to indulge your need.

You both laid on your side watching the two babies in their crib. You felt Loki's warm breath on your neck, his fingers stroking patterns on your shoulder, and drifted to sleep.

***

It couldn't be morning already. You heard shuffling and grunting but did not feel the sunlight on your eyelids. What was going on then? In your exhausted states it took you and Loki a few extra moments to wake up and react before it happened.

The doors burst open and Manus walked in, followed by a smaller Frost Giant, and a small, robed figure. You thought for sure you were dreaming. Manus was locked up in the cells in the dungeon. Shaking sleep from your brain like dust, you remembered Brutus' information. You saw the two guards who had been stationed at your room suspended in some kind of orange orb of energy outside your room, helpless.

You and Loki sat up quickly and tried to react. You went for the babies and Loki for his dagger. Neither of you got more than a few inches of movement before you were encapsulated in separate orbs of energy identical to the ones the guards outside were trapped in.

You could still move minimally inside your orb and you glanced at your babies. They had woken up and were confused by the noise. You then looked over at Loki who was glaring at Manus.

You then turned your attention to the threats in the room. Manus, the sorcerer, and another Frost Giant crossed the room easily with smiles on their faces. Manus' eyes glowed bright red, as if enhanced by his excitement. The sorcerer looked no older than you. He had silver hair though, with bright blue eyes. He was sweating. He did not make eye contact with anyone and seemed to be muttering something under his breath. He looked very concentrated on his task.

"Well," Manus' voice boomed. Clearly he was not scared of being heard then. "We meet again."

You rolled your eyes at the cliche villain line and he frowned slightly.

"Let us go," Loki's voice was venom. It earned him a slight amount of concern from Manus.

"Or what?" he asked. "These are special shields," he said. "Try to use your power," he said to you. "Go on," he had a hideous smile on his face.

You tried to shove him against the wall with your powers as you had in his cell, but it was of no use. You felt the energy drain at the wall of the shield. The sorcerer smiled but looked as though he were in pain.

You yelled obscenities and commands to stop, but Manus paid no attention as he walked over to the crib and picked up Lumen. He held the baby carefully in his large hands. Lumen looked wonderingly at him.

"Very cute," he mused.

"Put him down," you warned.

"I don't think so," Manus smiled. "But, since I am so generous, I will give you a choice as to the fate of your babies."

"There is no choice," you said. "You will leave and let him go."

Manus shook his head and laughed.

"You know I cannot do that. I cannot allow these children to become what they were meant to be. Defenders of the realms?" he scoffed. "That would mean peace. And peace would mean the end to the Frost Giant way of life, not to mention our plans of domination."

You wondered just how cliche this guy could get.

"So I will give you a choice," he repeated. "The prophecy states that in order for the children to become the defenders of the realms, they must be raised by their birth parents. So, allow me to leave with your children, and kill your husband, we really can't be worrying about daddy coming to save the wee ones," he said, giving a scolding look to Loki. "Or, we can kill them, and allow your husband to live," he said happily. He looked at Lumen and smiled.

You flashed back to the promise you had wanted Loki to make. _If it comes to it... If there's a choice. You save them._ You could read in Loki's eyes that is exactly what he was thinking. He wanted you to make the choice to kill him and let the children at least live. You shook your head minutely, unable to make the promise you had wanted him to make. There had to be another way.

"I'm waiting," Manus said drolly, his blue fingers too near Lumen's neck.

"I... I--" you stuttered. The pure exhaustion and the utter hopelessness of the situation was too much. You began to sob, cradling your head in your hands. You heard Lumen cry out too, followed by a crash. You were suddenly dropped to the floor out of your bubble. You saw Lumen's hand glowing purple, the sorcerer on the floor behind Manus, knocked out.

Your child had just saved your lives on his first day of life. You and Loki didn't miss a beat. While Manus was still in shock from the sudden events, you grabbed Lumen from him. You cradled him in one arm as you swooped down to pick up Luna with the other. Loki grabbed his dagger and gave a violent scream as he went towards Manus. You fled to the bathroom in order to keep your children safe. You closed the door behind you and heard muffled screams and clanging. You felt extreme nervousness and after a moment of debate, found a few towels and laid the babies down on them. You charged out of the door, closing it behind you, ready to fling anyone or anything that dared threaten you out of the window and into another realm, but all you saw was Loki standing above two bloody, and very dead Frost Giants.

His chest heaved and his face was splattered with dark blood. He turned to you and saw you standing there with your jaw nearly on the ground. How had he taken them down so fast? You had been in the bathroom only moments. He dropped his blade to the ground and jogged over to you, pulling you into his arms. You clutched him to you and held on for dear life. You both pulled away and heard a grunt from the sorcerer who seemed to be waking up. Loki started to walk towards him, but, fearing more bloodshed, you quickly thrust your energy in the sorcerer's direction, knocking him out again. Loki sighed and looked at you lovingly.

You opened the bathroom door and found your two miracles still on the towels where you had left them. They were sound asleep. You shook your head in amazement.

You turned to Loki and reached for a cloth. You wet it and put it up to his face.

"I think it will take more than a wet cloth, little one," he smirked, looking down at his blood-drenched chest and pants.

You gave a sad smile and he turned his smirk into a frown.

"What is wrong?" he asked.

"It's just... Did you have to kill them?" you couldn't help but ask.

"Yes," he responded bluntly. "They threatened the people I hold most dear. There was no choice."

You nodded. It had been a while since you'd seen this darker side to Loki. His protection was like a shroud, one you thought he might very well intend to keep together with the blood of whoever threatened you.

The two of you turned to your sleeping children but were soon distracted by Thor's loud entrance. While it didn't phase the babies, it alarmed the two of you.

"Are you alright?" Thor asked, searching the room.

"Yes," you responded tiredly.

"We were able to fend off the rest of the attackers, but Manus and his men got past us. I am so sorry," Thor apologized.

"It's alright," you said. "We understand. That sorcerer was very powerful."

"I know someone who is more powerful," Loki smiled, looking over at Lumen.

Thor gave a confused smile and you sighed. It would take energy to tell a story like that, and you did not have any more in you. Somehow you managed to get the kids, Loki, and yourself to a guest bedroom while yours was cleaned for the night. You almost laughed as you thought, _well, after this, parenthood should be a walk in the park._


	46. Chapter 46

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for all the love :)

You would have preferred things stay quiet after the adventure you had had, but Eva and Thor insisted on throwing you, Loki, Luna, and Lumen a party. It was a sweet gesture, having all the friends and family around to celebrate the births of your children, but frankly, you were exhausted. It felt like you'd been running a marathon for years now and it had only been a few days. All you wanted to do was snuggle in with the little ones and the big one and sleep for days.

You knew from the keen look in Thor's eye at the proposal that that was not going to happen. You grudgingly accepted his offer and he grinned. At least someone was happy about this. You and Loki exchanged minute shrugs, once again slaves to Thor's enthusiasm.

It only took a few days for the now master planner, Eva, to create the event from thin air. On the night, you got ready in your room. You were trying on a new gown (for once it was not a maternity dress!) and turning each way in the mirror, trying to become comfortable with your newly stretched body. You ran your hands along your waistline and frowned. You glanced over at your squirmy little children and smiled. It was worth it, of course it was worth it.

You sensed him before you saw him in the mirror. Loki came up behind you and wrapped his hands around your waist, on top of your hands. He kissed your neck softly and you sighed.

"Careful, mister," you warned. "We might just end up with more of those if you keep that up," you smirked towards the kids.

Loki's low growl made you chuckle.

"Is that a promise?"

You turned to face your husband and beamed at him.

"We should get going," you said, realizing you were probably running a little late already.

"You look stunning, by the way," he added, taking in your form. You could tell that he truly meant it.

"I do, don't I?" you smiled. He nodded.

You turned and walked over to the crib, picking up Lumen. Loki did the same with Luna. You carried the two children, now dressed in the most adorable fancy baby garments, towards the Great Hall.

Eva had outdone herself again. Everything was simply stunning. Floating orbs of light lit up the entire hall. There were a pile of presents at the far end of the hall, a huge banquet table in the center, and a hoard of beautifully clad guests standing before you.

You suddenly froze. They had all turned to look at you and Loki. It was rather intimidating. You felt pressure to speak.

"Umm... Hi," you offered casually. Thor beamed at you as he emerged from the throng.

"Our guests of honor!" his voice boomed, echoing off the arches of the hall.

The guests erupted into a cheer and you felt yourself blush.

"May I introduce to all of you, the beautiful offspring of my brother and his wife: Luna and Lumen!"

Another hearty cheer from the crowd. You smiled, starting to get used to the adoring eyes. You glanced over at Loki. There was something different in his smile. It wasn't like his usual smile. Something was different, something was added. You realized that perhaps this is what he had always wanted - acceptance. Sure, marrying you had gained him some favor, but now, people really admired him. Not only had he fathered two amazingly gifted children, he had fought for them, killed for them. The people of Asgard respected him, accepted him. They no longer feared him or thought him out of place. He was where he belonged now, as were you.

"Let us feast in their honor," Thor announced.

And so you, Loki, and your children were seated at the head of the enormous banquet table. You ate and talked with people quite happily. You were able to feed the kids from bottles you had prepared. All in all it was a great time. You thanked Eva when you got the chance and she seemed to appreciate it very much.

"It was my honor," she smiled. "Truly. You and Loki are remarkable parents. I just hope I can live up to your standards someday," she added with a fleeting glance at Thor.

You sighed happily.

"I don't think you'll have anything to worry about," you assured her. She nodded shyly and kissed your cheek. 

The rest of the night was fun, but draining. You and the kids both had drooping lids by the end of the night. Finally, when you knew it would not be impolite, Loki made your excuses. Everyone bid their good wishes and good nights as you and Loki bowed out for the evening. A child in each arm, you made your way down the hall. Instead of making the usual turn towards the corridors that led to your room, Loki took your arm and led you another way. You recognized the hallway.

"Why are we going to the garden?" you asked.

It was surely going to be deserted at this hour at night, and you just wanted to curl up in bed.

"Trust me," was all Loki offered.

"With my life," you whispered, namely to yourself, but Loki caught it and smiled warmly.

He led you into the garden. Jasmine was blooming and white flowers glistened in the moonlight. Loki led you over to a small tree. It was around a bend in the path so you didn't see them until you rounded the corner.

Beneath the small tree stood two foals. You instantly gasped with delight. Already Lumen was reaching out for the foal. The one on the right of the tree was white while the other was a deep brown, almost black. Thinking he would reach for the white foal, you moved towards its direction, only to find that his grasp was directed towards the darker foal. You let him lead you over to the foal. You saw Luna reaching for the white foal as Loki led her over to it.

You both knelt down and let the children reach up to their respective animals. You could feel it already, the connection between them. They were drawn to each other. Pieces of a whole that were created for each other.

"What are their names?" you asked Loki.

Loki tugged his gaze away from Luna to look at you.

"I'm not sure," he answered. "I suppose it's not our place to name them. We will just have to wait," he smiled.

You nodded. The children should pick the names you agreed. You sat there for a long time in the dusty moonlight, just watching your children. You occasionally glanced at Loki for the sheer romance of the beauty of his features admiring your child.

Despite all the danger and the violence, you had come out alright so far. The battles were worth these small, but important victories. With the warm air and the complete easiness, you felt your eyelids start to droop again. You seriously needed some sleep. 

"Come on, love," Loki whispered, suddenly beside you. He guided you up and you stood. You linked arms with him and walked back to your room.

You laid Lumen down in the crib and Loki laid Luna next to him. You gazed down at them. They seemed more awake after meeting their new friends.

You glanced towards the bathroom.

"Do you mind if I take a quick shower before bed?" you asked Loki.

"I only mind that I cannot join you," he smirked, gazing down at the kids. "But this company is not so bad either," he added.

You kissed him and walked into the bathroom. You let the water relax you. While the water was running you started to hear soft cries from the other room. Apparently the kids were more awake than you thought. You tried to focus on washing up but the cries kept coming. You didn't want Loki to have to deal with them alone so you got out of the shower. As you were toweling off, you realized the noise had stopped. In it's place was a low, sort of humming sound.

Confused, you walked out of the shower in your towel to see what it was. Your heart nearly melted when you saw him.

Sitting in the large reading chair by the fire sat Loki, a baby in the crook of each arm, gently singing them a lullaby.

His voice was low and soothing, and he sang lyrics that were unfamiliar to you, but spoke of comfort and love.

He looked up at you after a moment, but did not stop singing. You changed into your pajamas and slid into bed. You watched him from there for a long time. He just sat there, singing softly, staring adoringly at the small lives you had created together. You didn't want to close your eyes. You never wanted this perfect moment to end. You had everything you ever wanted. You knew that dreams could never match this reality you had been given, but sleep took you anyway, letting you sleep in her gentle arms.


	47. Chapter 47

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm just kind of meandering around fluffy stuff rn, hope you're still enjoying it!

To say that you were utterly exhausted would be the understatement of the century. Although you were quite happy with your little ones, they left you no time to yourself and no time with Loki. Having only known what life was like with the two of you before this, it was quite the change. Despite yourself and your happiness, you were growing more and more irritated with the extreme sleep deprivation that caring for the kids had caused you. Loki helped out a lot. It was an equal load of work for both of you. But it's not like you had normal children here. When Lumen got agitated he would fling small objects across the room by accident (not too unlike his father). You had pushed your patience as far as it could go. It just felt like you were on a never ending cycle of diapers,crying, and smashed glasses. Every time you thought you'd be able to get more than three hours of sleep you'd be interrupted by something.

Despite all of this building on you, you still felt like an absolute idiot when it happened.

It was innocent as anything, really. A simple oversight. You had been changing diapers one night. You hadn't had dinner yet and you had slept a total of no hours the night before. You felt dizzy and your limbs ached. You pushed on, trying to admire the small smile that Luna was giving you as you finished changing her. Loki was changing Lumen's diaper next to you.

"So..." Loki started, uncertain of something. "Are we going to talk about it?" he finished.

You turned to him, confused.

"Talk about what?" you asked.

"Your birthday, love. It was today," he said simply.

Your mind went completely blank.

"Today?" you asked.

Loki nodded.

"I was planning on doing something for you tonight, but when you didn't mention it all day, I thought maybe... Something was wrong," he looked at you sadly. You could tell you weren't the only one suffering from sleep deprivation. Loki had light purple bags under his eyes, made darker by the mere contrast of his pale skin.

All you could do was blink at him.

"I honestly had no idea," you responded. "I don't even know what day it is," you realized.

You finished changing Luna and sat down on the bed. Loki joined you, wrapping an arm around your waist.

"Are you alright?" he asked seriously.

You shook your head. Although you begged them not to, tears started to spring from your eyes.

"I'm just so tired," you nearly laughed. "I love them but--"

"But we haven't slept in three months," Loki smiled ironically.

"Yeah," you admitted, leaning your head on his shoulder.

There was a slight pause before Loki said, "You know how I was going to do something for your birthday?"

You lifted your head to look at him.

"Well, I changed my mind. I'm still doing something, but for us," he said. "You can come in now," he yelled towards the door.

Confused, you looked over towards your bedroom doors. When they opened, and Thor and Eva appeared, you turned to Loki for an explanation.

"Babysitters," Loki explained, taking your hand. "We need a couple nights off," he said, kissing your hand. "What do you say?"

You were shocked at this last minute present for a birthday you had forgotten had arrived. You looked at Thor and Eva who were gazing lovingly at the babies. You looked down at your children, sleepy in their crib. At last you turned to Loki and smiled.

"I hate to leave them," you admitted. As much as some sleep sounded like the best thing since sliced bread, you also had this terrible feeling that when they left you would feel empty.

"It's only for a night or two," Loki whispered. "And Thor and Eva will take good care of them."

He glanced over at Thor who was holding Lumen's toe and examining it.

"Eva will take good care of them," Loki amended with a smirk.

"We will, I promise," Eva chimed in.

You looked at the eager couple and the bags under Loki's eyes. You nodded.

"Just for a night or two," you agreed. You felt your body relax a little at the promise of a good night's sleep.

"We'll be in our room," Eva promised.

She and Thor each grabbed a baby. Lumen looked even smaller in Thor's enormous arms. Luna seemed to glow in Eva's loving embrace. You smiled warmly at them and they bid you good night, taking your children with them.

When at last you were alone, you felt a strange space between you and Loki. You hadn't been alone in months, you had almost forgotten how to be alone with him. You glanced awkwardly over at him. He was looking to you to make the first move.

"Thank you," you spurted out.

He smiled.

"Anything for you," he responded.

Suddenly your eyes felt very heavy.

"Sleep?" you asked.

Before he even responded you had curled up, clothes and all, on the bed, unconscious before your head even hit the pillow.

Your stomach was the thing to wake you up at last. When you opened your eyes it looked about the same as when you had closed them. You checked the time and realized you had slept nearly twelve hours. You stretched and blinked the sleep away. You felt _so much better._ It was almost unbelievable. You could tell you still needed to catch up on more sleep, but for now, this was more than sufficient. You wiggled your toes, realizing Loki must have taken off your shoes for you before he fell asleep. You looked beside you at your sleeping prince. He lay like an art model with his arms strewn above his bed, laying on his back. His bare chest exposed, and lower half covered by the sheets. Blushing and feeling like a child, you peeked under the sheets. He was naked. You giggled to yourself and replaced the sheet.

Your stomach rumbled again and his eyes fluttered. _Oh no,_ you thought, thinking back to the bags under his eyes, _sleep more._ But Loki did not obey your silent commands. His eyes opened. He took a moment and then looked over at you and smiled the most serene smile you'd ever seen. He sat up on his elbow and looked at you lovingly. Just then your stomach growled. He chuckled.

"Food's over there," Loki pointed behind you.

Lo and behold, when you turned, there was a tray there that had not been there when you fell asleep. The tray was mounted with all sorts of food. Enough for a whole day. You got up and brought the tray to bed. Before you got back into bed, however, you unlaced your dress. Loki watched with mild amusement as you stripped down naked in front of him.

"A little warm, love?" he asked, smirking.

"Just realized I was overdressed for the occasion," you smiled.

Loki chuckled and sat up. You joined him on the bed. He leaned over the tray and kissed you.

"Good morning," he said huskily. You felt your heart flutter at his voice. "Or good afternoon, I suppose," he said, seeing the time.

"I feel so much better," you admitted.

You started picking at the food in front of you, your revitalized state improving with every bite.

"We haven't been alone in a long time," you noted.

Loki hummed his agreement, digging into the food.

"I miss you," you said without thinking. 

Loki paused in the middle of lifting food to his mouth. He cocked his head, replacing the food back to the tray.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

You ran your fingers through your hair and took a deep breath. You weren't even sure what you meant.

"It's just... I love our children, obviously," you started, working it out as you went. "And I wouldn't trade them for the world. But being with you now, alone... I forgot what it was like," you blushed, remembering your peak under the covers.

Loki moved the tray over and slid up next to you, cupping your face in his hands.

"I'm right here, little one," he whispered, kissing you. "I'm right here."

You placed your hands on top of his and sighed. He looked at you as a lost man looks at the North star.

"You've been too selfless," Loki decided.

You chuckled.

"What?" you asked.

"You've given too much of yourself. You love those babies more than humanly possible and it's killing you." His tone was light, but there was only seriousness in his eyes.

"You need to let us help you," he said.

You thought back to the months before. Surely Eva and Thor had offered to take the kids before. Surely they had offered to lend servants to help. Loki had definitely suggested you sleep while he dealt with Lumen's accidental destruction. You sighed.

"Yes," you admitted. "I suppose I should."

"Now," Loki said, moving his hands to your shoulders. "Let me take care of you."

He kissed you once more before turning you around. His smooth hands started caressing your shoulders, massaging your tired muscles.

"You're so exquisite," Loki said, pausing the massage to kiss your neck. "I cannot believe how beautiful you are, how beautiful our children are."

"They are quite lovely, aren't they?" you smiled. "We did alright," you chided.

"Mmm," Loki responded, distracted by your bare skin.

He slipped his hands around your waist and pulled himself up behind you. He continued kissing your neck as you smiled like an idiot. You thought that it might be strange, being alone with him after so long, but it was more natural than breathing.

"I love you," you muttered as your head lolled back in happiness.

The two of you made slow, passionate love, drinking each other in, filling each other up. You hadn't realized how badly you needed him. It was as if you had starved yourself without realizing it.

As you lay together in bed afterwards, he held you close. There was a long silence before he spoke.

"It's strange," he noted. "I thought that I was complete when I found you... And I was... But now, with them... It's just something else all together," he muttered, stroking your hair.

You nodded, understanding exactly what he meant.

"We created a new part of ourselves," you said. "We're just more with them... Not just complete... But more," you shook your head. The words didn't describe what you and Loki both felt as parents.

Loki nodded.

"I miss them," you frowned. It had only been one night. You thought back to all the strife and stress you'd felt just a night ago. All of that seemed blurry and all you wanted was to be with your children again.

"Me too," Loki smiled. "Shall we fetch them?" he asked.

You looked up at him. He looked better rested than he had before. You were quite comfortable at the moment, but you knew your mind wouldn't rest until you were together with Luna and Lumen again.

"Yes," you decided. You watched Loki get dressed, hoping that it wouldn't be too long before you could have an evening like this again.

You and Loki found Thor and Eva in their room. They answered when you knocked and let you in happily. Thor was holding Luna and gazing down at her lovingly. Lumen sat beside them, watching with interest. On second glance, Lumen was cooing softly from the crib... So who was... Then, when Luna saw you and Loki, the baby beside Thor flickered and dispersed. Just like one of Loki's illusions.

Thor and Eva waited for it to register on your and Loki's faces before breaking out into smiles of their own.

"Oh my gods!" you exclaimed, rushing towards Thor and Luna. "When did she? How did she?" You couldn't even finish your sentences.

Loki looked at Luna with extreme pride. That was no easy feat at any age, and she had done it as a baby.

"It happened this morning," Eva responded. "We were a little stunned to say the least," she laughed. "She's been doing it all day. Practicing, I think," she smiled proudly.

Loki walked over to Luna and took her from Thor. You saw Thor's face fall a little once she was out of reach.

"My little sorceress," Loki said, giving her an Eskimo kiss.

You and Loki shared a moment of appreciation for your talented and magical children. You were truly the luckiest people in Asgard.

Eva looked at Thor and then at you. She looked a tad nervous for some reason.

"Um, we wanted to offer, I mean, if you wanted," she began, twisting her dress in her hands. "We would love to look after them more often," she said. "They're easy, and we, well, we love them." Eva's genuine smile and adoring gaze at your children made your heart melt.

"And it's good practice," Thor chimed in, blunt as ever. Eva blushed. You had wondered if they were going to start trying for children soon.

"I think we would love that," Loki smiled. 

Eva and Thor seemed relieved, as if there were any chance you would have said no.

"Would you like to join us for dinner?" Eva asked.

"That would be lovely," you responded.

The thought of not having to do this all on your own was an immensely calming thought. You and Loki took the kids to dinner and had a lovely time with Thor and Eva. You hoped that they, too, would soon have a small miracle or two of their own.


	48. Chapter 48

You wished they had cameras on Asgard. This was literally the picture perfect moment. You and Loki had found a secluded spot in the forest, a fair ways off the beaten path. The sun was setting through the trees, casting a yellow glow all around you. Particles in the air seemed to sparkle and the laughter that bellowed from Loki's chest was the purest music in the world. Your two children sat next to him on the blanket you had brought, playing with wisps of magic Loki had created for them. You sat across from them, trying to ingrain every single detail into your mind.

Loki noticed you staring, just staring at them, and cocked his head to the side.

"What's wrong?" he asked, the hint of the smile still on his face.

"Nothing," you smiled genuinely. "It's just... You're all so perfect," you said.

"Mmm, we're not bad, are we?" he asked.

"Not at all," you smiled.

As the sun set beneath the horizon, it became significantly chillier. You and Loki bundled up the kids and packed up your supplies. You walked slowly back to the castle, in no rush.

As you returned to your chambers and laid the kids down, they were already heavy with sleep. Since they were still awake, you started to sing a quick lullaby that your mother used to sing to you. Within moments they were fully asleep. You turned to Loki and sighed happily.

"What a beautiful day," you remarked.

You noticed the sudden sadness that had overtaken his features.

"What is it?" you asked, concerned.

Loki shook his head and turned away from you. You couldn't see if it was there, but it looked like he might have wiped a tear away.

"It's nothing," he said huskily.

"Loki," you prompted, laying a hand on his shoulder. He shook it off with mild enthusiasm and walked away a few steps.

"Please," he said desperately.

You backed off, uncertain what this was. Sitting down on the bed and taking your shoes off, you gave him a moment to collect himself. You waited patiently for a few long moments before he turned around, stone-faced.

"I'm sorry," he said calmly. "I don't know what happened there," he forced an insincere smile.

You searched his face as he came to sit down next to you.

"Yes you do," you said quietly.

He gave you a side glance that had a hint of pride in it.

"Why can you always read me?" he asked sadly.

"Why are you trying to hide it from me?" you countered.

He nodded solemnly.

"Fair enough."

He took a deep breath and turned his gaze towards the children.

"I thought I was okay," he said slowly. "I thought, this is the perfect day, and I will enjoy it. And I did. But then... just seeing you sing to them after this perfect day... It reminded me that... My mother will never get to hold my children. She'll never sing to them or teach them magic as she did with me. She'll never know--" He had to stop himself. He cleared his throat and you grabbed his hands, your eyes filling with empathetic tears.

"I know exactly how you feel," you gave a small smile. Memories of the first night you really connected with Loki were flooding back to you.

"I still have the dreams, you know," Loki said quietly. "Not the ones where I can't save her though. Now they're that she's standing there, clear as day, and I have Luna and Lumen, and I go to show her... And she's gone."

You gently stroked his hands with your thumbs.

"She'll never see what I... What I've become. That I did something good. Worthwhile."

The pain in his eyes was so intense you had to look away. You had no idea that Loki was harboring all these feelings.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" you asked.

"I didn't really understand the feelings until just now," he admitted. "It just hit me clearly and I... It's horrible," he said.

You wrapped your arms around him and pulled him to you, kissing his temple.

"It's alright," you cooed. "She must know. Wherever she is, she must know how wonderfully you've done. She must know about Luna and Lumen." You didn't know what kind of afterlife Asgardians believed in, but you hoped that was a comforting thought.

"Perhaps," Loki conceded. "But I will never know."

You sighed and you held him close. You tried to think of words to say but none came. In the end, you persuaded him to try to get some sleep and that you'd talk in the morning. All night you felt him tossing and turning. At points he would hold you close, as if his life depended on it. At other points, he's pace the room. Yet, in others, he would stand over the crib, rubbing his hands on his face. You watched him when it woke you, feeling helpless.

When you woke up in the morning, it was not to Loki pacing. Loki was laying on his back next to you, staring up at the canopy. The sound that woke you came from the door. Loki looked over at you and then got up, walking over to the door. He opened it warily and let the man in. You recognized him as one of the guards who was guarding the cells the last time you were down there. Your stomach sank, this would not be good news.

"Kieren," Loki greeted. "What do we owe the pleasure?"

Loki looked tired, you realized. He had probably not slept at all. The guard looked around hesitantly, as if he thought other people might be hiding in the room. He looked at the crib and then frowned. He turned to Loki.

"It's Brutus," he said apprehensively.

You remembered Brutus, the empath, from the information he supplied you about Manus.

"What about him?" Loki asked, guarded.

You remembered that Loki had likely not fulfilled his promise of reducing his sentence after his help.

"Last night he... He was writhing in pain, sir. He was clutching his head and screaming all night. We tried to calm him, we even tranquilized him... But he persisted."

Loki flickered his glance to you, concerned.

"This morning he calmed down enough to tell us what happened." The guard looked at the floor in front of Loki as he spoke. "He said you had caused it. He said he could feel... your pain all the way from the dungeons."

There was a heavy silence around the four of you. The kids didn't move and you held your breath. You thought back to how close you had been for Brutus to be able to read your moderate fear. For him to read pain from nearly a mile away and a few stories up... You imagined it took quite a lot of emotional energy to reach that far and cause that extreme of a reaction in Brutus.

Loki was the first to break the silence. He took a deep breath before saying, "What are we supposed to do about it?" in a seemingly careless tone.

Kieren's eyes flickered up to him, confused.

"I assumed you would want to see him, sir. Something is obviously wrong. He said he might be able to help."

"Help?" Loki scoffed. "He's a criminal, how could he help me?"

"I cannot say, sir. Only that he seemed very adamant you would want to meet him."

"Loki, maybe you should. He helped us last time," you ventured.

Loki looked at you skeptically.

"What can it hurt?" you asked.

Loki's tired eyes fell in defeat. He knew he should at least try and see what Brutus had to offer.

Thor and Eva agreed to watch the kids while you and Loki went down to the dungeons. Loki's firm grasp on your hand felt as if he were afraid he would blow away in the breeze like a balloon.

You made your way silently down to the cells, following Kieren. He led you to the familiar holding cells and opened the door to the fifth room on the right. You entered first, followed by Loki. He was just how you remembered, except he looked as though his insides were being pulled apart inside him based on his pained face. He looked up at you with clenched teeth.

"You bastard," he spat at Loki. "Could you keep it in check in there?" he asked angrily.

"Back off," you warned, stepping in front of your husband.

Loki stayed behind you, apparently glad for the distance between him and Brutus.

Brutus clutched his head now, breathing heavily.

"You're like a bomb with nails and glass exploding in slow motion," Brutus said through his teeth.

"Maybe you should tell us why you called us down here so we can let you be," you tried.

Loki was breathing heavily behind you. Brutus flinched and then took a few deep breaths.

"The pain you're feeling," he began. "Needs to stop. It's killing me."

"How do you think it makes me feel?" Loki nearly yelled back. You put your hands on his chest to calm him.

"When did it start?" you asked, perhaps hoping that it wasn't Loki that was causing this after all.

"A few days ago... Mildly... And then last night it hit me like I'd been shot with twenty bullets," Brutus snarled. "What is your problem?" he asked Loki. "Not that I care," he added. "I just want to stop feeling like I'm going through a meat grinder.

"That makes two of us," Loki muttered.

"What is it?" Brutus repeated.

"What do you care?" Loki responded.

"I don't, other than the immense pain you're causing me."

Loki smirked.

"Why should I care about that?" he asked coldly. You gave him a warning glance which he ignored.

Brutus raised his gaze fearlessly to meet Loki's.

"Because if I'm feeling your emotional resonance," he said, "What you're feeling is a hundred times worse. And I doubt you can live with that for long."

Uncharacteristically, Loki had no rebuttal. He swallowed hard. You looked at him, searching his face. How could that be true? Brutus looked like he was _dying._ How was Loki holding this together? He forced a smile at you, trying to convince you that Brutus was wrong, but it wasn't working. You could see the pain in his eyes. It must have been there for some time. How did you miss it? It was the same pain that had invaded his features the day that Frigga had died.

"What can we do?" you asked Brutus, suddenly needing to end the pain that Loki was in.

Brutus shifted uncomfortably. He looked reluctant to speak.

"Tell us!" you screamed shrilly. "Or you will probably die of this pain," you guessed.

Brutus' attention snapped to you and you knew he thought you were right. He took a long pause, weighing something in his head.

"The only way I can see," he said calmly. "Is to undo what has been done."

"What does that mean?" you asked. Now was no time for riddles.

"Bring back what was taken," he said. "Bring back Queen Frigga."

Your jaw nearly dropped.

"That's not possible," you said, completely unsure of the validity of that statement.

You turned to Loki. He was staring at Brutus.

"Isn't it?" you asked them both.

Brutus let out a pained smile.

"Only if you are not me," he said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this was a random, unplanned, plot twist. I hope you like it!


	49. Chapter 49

"What do you mean?" you asked hesitantly.

The glint in Brutus' eyes was unnerving. It seemed he was looking right into Loki's heart, as if you were not standing in front of him.

Finally, he sighed and relaxed his posture. Well, he relaxed as much as someone in unbearable pain could relax.

"I am an empath," he reminded you, finally turning his gaze to you. "A person leaves a sort of emotional trail wherever they go. It is stronger if those around them enhance or feed off of their emotional energy. I can track that. Even to the spirit world."

This felt like some kind of dark magic mojo to you and you weren't sure if you trusted it.

"What would we have to do?" you asked. Loki was still stiff and still behind you.

"You would need the blade that killed her, an object of extreme sentimental value, and the person she was most connected to. Not to mention a sorceress to guide us. Then we would tether her spirit back to this plane and she would become corporeal again."

You turned to Loki. He was staring full force at Brutus with anger seeping through his gaze. You placed your hands on his chest and his gaze turned to you as if he had been taken out of a trance.

"We should talk about this," you said lowly. "Alone."

Loki's eyes fluttered softly before closing, after which he took a deep breath. He pulled you in and kissed your forehead.

"We will be back," Loki said softly but sternly to Brutus.

"You better," Brutus spat. He clutched his stomach in pain and you almost felt bad for him.

You and Loki exited the room together. Keiren gave you a pitying look and nodded his good byes for the time being. You went back to your room without retrieving Lumen and Luna right away. It was best to talk about this alone before bringing Thor and Eva into it.

Loki started pacing the room, agitated.

"What are you thinking?" you asked cautiously.

It had been a while since you had seen him this worked up. With the volatility of his emotions lately, you were not exactly sure what to expect. Loki was breathing heavily, running his hand through his raven hair.

"I don't know," he muttered. His steps were harsh and heavy.

"Do you trust Brutus?" you tried.

"For now, yes," he admitted. "I know what it's like to want to escape pain more than anything. He wouldn't jeopardize his chance to make it stop."

There was something from his past you knew he wasn't sharing at that moment. The subtext was quite prominent. There had been a time besides this moment when an intense pain had caused this kind of desperation. You wished desperately to erase that pain from his past just as you did at this moment.

"Loki, please help me understand," you said. "It feels like you were fine just the other day. We were happy. We were... perfect," you said. You realized you were being selfish at this moment but you couldn't help it. It was true. Loki had seemed perfectly fine. You had had the perfect day. And now it seemed as though the turmoil inside him could level a small city.

Loki sighed and stopped pacing.

"We were perfect," he said sadly. "We _are_." He walked over to the bed and sat down, patting a space for you to join him. You followed his silent instructions and waited for what was to come next. He took your hand in his. "That is why this is so hard. In many ways I am complete. I have you and the kids and this whole new life. And then I think about my mother. The sacrifice she made for me. For us. And I think, how can I be happy with that? The guilt is immense. I was so distracted by the bliss that has been our life and the small struggles we had to face to get here that I did not have time to stop and think about it. Seeing you... Seeing you being a wonderful mother, seeing everything I had... I don't know that I deserve it. Not when I let her give her life for me with almost no objection."

"Loki--" you tried to object but he held up a hand. He needed to get this out.

"When I was little," he began, a far away look in his eyes, "Thor and I were at each others throat constantly." You smirked, knowing the truth of that statement. "And father would always favor Thor of course. He was the heir, he was the one with the brawn and the extrovert-fueled leadership. I was the quiet one, the clever one. He never appreciated that. It takes a toll living in someone's shadow. But I didn't really... Because she gave me my own light. She gave me magic and she nurtured it in me. She never thought I was less than anyone else. She is the only person who thought that," he said. "Until you."

You squeezed his hand, urging him to continue.

"There was one time when Thor had just done something impressive for father. I forget what it was, something that did not require any skill except muscle strength. I had been working all day on creating an illusion of a rose. I had finally perfected it and I was going to show father, but he would not pay any attention to it. He ignored my hard work, the beauty I had created. But there she was, right beside him, waiting for me with the widest grin and the most open arms." Tears had started to fall from the corners of his eyes. "And I showed her my flower. And she pulled me into her arms and she just said, 'That's my boy.'" Loki smiled through his tears. "And that's all I needed to hear. That I belonged to someone."

You tried not to cry but you couldn't help it. You pulled him to you and kissed him slowly. When you pulled away, he did not look any less sad.

"And I always thought that I would be able to do that again," he said. "I thought she would look at what I had a part in creating and... be proud of me again," he smiled. "I know this all came over me so quickly... I'm sorry you have to--"

"Never apologize to me about _feeling_ ," you warned. You paused, searching his face. "You want to bring her back, don't you?" you asked.

Loki nodded.

"You know, in everything I've seen where they bring back characters, there's always a price," you noted. Loki cocked his head, confused.

"They return humans to life on earth?" he asked. You chuckled.

"No, in shows," you explained. "Movies and stuff. There's always an equal and opposite negative reaction. I assume it's the same here? A balance?"

"I suppose so," he sighed. "But would it be worth it?"

You shrugged.

"Honestly, I would do anything to end your pain," you admitted. "But I don't think we should go about this lightly, or on our own."

Loki's eyes turned fearful. He knew where you were headed.

"We should tell Thor," you said.

Loki grimaced.

"She was his mother too," you hated to admit. "He should probably have a say."

Loki looked at you almost scornfully, but conceded by nodding his head.

"Now?" you asked.

"No time like the present," Loki frowned.

***

Informing Thor about the possibility went about as you thought it might. At first he was deliberately against the idea.

"It's unnatural," he nearly shouted.

Eva remained neutral as far as you could tell. The kids were sleeping in an adjoined room.

Loki led Thor over towards the window, away from you and Eva. He spoke to him quietly, and seemingly passionately. Thor pulled away at first but in time he listened to Loki. You wondered what he was telling Thor. Was it the tale of the rose he had told you? You thought not. Loki would not risk that vulnerability with Thor. However, it was probably some kind of snippet from the tale. Something Thor would relate to and want to regain.

After some time, they turned to you. Loki held a thin line on his lips and Thor looked as though he had run a marathon.

Thor gave a defeated sigh. He turned to one of the guards stationed near the door of the room.

"Bring me Brutus," he commanded.


	50. Chapter 50

You felt your stomach drop at Thor's words. Although you wanted to support Loki, you still had a bad feeling about all this resurrection business. You held your tongue for the moment, hoping that they would change their minds on their own. From the look of uneasiness on both the boy's faces, you thought it was a fair chance.

Brutus was brought to Thor's chambers and the children were left with a servant in the adjoining room. Brutus repeated his story to Thor who watched him carefully. Brutus still looked in rough shape and seemed to be held together by the hands that clutched around his stomach. His voice strained as he repeated the necessary things: the knife that killed Frigga, an item of sentimental value to Loki, and a sorceress. Thor paced and for once, Loki stood still. He was across the room from you, his eyes on Thor. You, of course, could not take your eyes off Loki. He almost seemed calmer now, although Brutus did not seem to be benefiting from it. You wondered what this really meant to him - to be able to bring Frigga back. Loki was not an unreasonable man. He must have his reasons, selfish though they might be, to want to bring back his mother. To risk something like this... You realized you didn't even know what you were risking. Balance would no doubt need to be restored. It occurred to you that in bringing Frigga back, you might well have to take the life of another, be it involuntary or not. You felt your gut churn, feeling more like Brutus looked every second.

Bringing your attention back to the situation around you, you realized Loki was at your side and had responded affirmatively to something Thor had asked. You did not know what was said, but Loki led you out of the room and down the hallway.

"What--" you began to ask.

"We are retrieving the items," Loki filled you in. "What were you thinking about so hard in there?" he asked. Though from his tone, you thought he knew.

"This," you said. "This whole deal. I don't like it," you admitted. Loki frowned. "I know it seems like a dream come true, Loki... But is it worth it?" you asked.

"I know the risks," he said defensively.

You sighed and shook your head.

"I don't think you do."

"Because you know my world so well?" he nearly spat at you. The venom made you stop walking and turn to him.

"This is _my_ world now too, Loki," you returned with equal bite. "And I think I've realized some things about how magic works here. I know just from using my powers that it drains my energy. Imagine what bringing someone back from the dead would do."

Loki avoided your eyes and continued walking.

"It will not be as bad as you think," he said.

"What I think is that balance is balance. Something equally bad to the happiness that will come from Frigga's return will happen," you guessed.

"Let it happen," Loki said carelessly.

You threw your hands up.

"Who even are you right now?" you said, exasperated. Loki narrowed his eyes at you, as though analyzing prey. Then, in an instant, his eyes dropped and his shoulders sagged.

"I don't know," he muttered.

He looked so utterly... broken. You cupped his face in your hands and tilted his chin up.

"This is my choice," he said softly. "And I cannot refuse the chance to see her again."

This did not quell your fears, but it did stem the flow of anger for the moment. Perhaps you could still change Loki's mind, but you would have to do it subtly.

"Alright," you obliged him. "Come on."

You and Loki headed back down to the holding cells. All weapons confiscated from prisoners were held in a vault near the cells. Keiren let you in and you and Loki looked through the extensive collection, searching for the blade that killed Frigga. There were axes, swords, clubs, nearly all kinds of weapons. They were organized by type and tagged with the name of the person they were collected from. Loki took his time, scanning all the various weapons, avoiding the knives.

You took his hand and walked with him. Soon enough you reached the end of the long room where all the knives were displayed on the walls. It did not take long to locate the blade that had ended Frigga. Loki reached out and took it gingerly into his hand. He held it as though it were made of glass. You were staring at the shining metal when you saw a drop of moisture fall onto it. Loki took his hand out of your to wipe the tear away.

"It's so small," he commented. The blade was about four inches long.

"Yeah," your voice almost caught in your throat.

"I remembered it being bigger."

"Me too."

You swallowed hard, fighting back tears.

"We should go," you whispered. Loki took a breath and shook his head, clearing whatever thoughts had clouded together there. He looked at you and nodded.

He slipped the blade into his belt and the two of you left the room. You headed back to your room, the corridors suddenly seeming colder and bleaker.

"What is next on the list?" you asked.

You reached your room and went inside. It felt strange without the kids in there. Empty. They had no place in this macabre adventure though.

Loki did not answer you and instead went over to the bookcases. He reached in front of him and pulled out a small, green, leather, book.

"This," he said faintly, staring at the book as he walked over to sit on the bed.

You couldn't help but remember the first night you really connected with Loki. It was on this bed, staring up at the canopy. The death of his mother had actually acted as a catalyst to bring you together.

You followed his lead, walking over to him. You sat down carefully, afraid you might break whatever trance Loki seemed to be in the midst of.

"She gave this to me," he said thoughtfully. "When I was young."

You stared at Loki, his face seemingly unfamiliar at the moment. He was far away from you. Many years away.

"I used to think that the only way to be happy, to be accepted, was to be like Thor. I thought I needed to fight like a barbarian, drink like a scoundrel, and talk about women," Loki frowned. "But I felt so empty, for so many years trying to be like that. I pretended to be something I had no business pretending to be. It was killing me. Many nights... it nearly did. All alone in my room, I thought about..." he trailed off, not looking at you. "But then one day, Frigga came to me with this," he held up the book for you to see.

" _The Young Wanderer,"_ you read aloud. Loki smiled fondly.

"It's about a young man who is lost. But he discovers himself, and in turn, finds his way back home," he explained. "A novel idea, trite, really. But it wasn't the story that meant the world to me, it was her. She sat me down and explained that I didn't have to pretend. She said that I was meant for more than battles and meaningless merriment. She was the one who told me that it was alright to be different. It was alright to be smart. She saw something inside me, potential. If she hadn't started me down this path I'm not sure..." he trailed off again before taking a big breath. "I'm not sure I would have stayed on any path at all," he finished, looking almost ashamed.

You covered his hands with yours.

"I am forever grateful that she did," you smiled softly. He forced a smile back. You looked down at the small book, marveling that something so small could have saved Loki's life.

There was a long silence before Loki spoke again.

"I have to see her again," he said.

There was no mistaking the intent in his voice. _No matter what,_ was strongly implied.

You nodded slowly, trying to decide if dissuading him was possible or even a good idea at this point. Perhaps you were wrong. Perhaps nothing would go wrong. You feared not only what would happen to the world if you brought Frigga back, but also what would happen to _your world_ if you did not.

Loki turned to you.

"Thor should be back with the sorceress by now," he said.

He tucked the book in his arm and stood up, offering you his hand. You took it and he pulled you up, kissing your hand when you stood.

"Thank you," he said softly, meeting your eyes at last.

"For you, anything," you said truly.

Loki smiled softly but it did not reach his eyes. He turned to walk towards the doors. You followed, unsure for the first time in a long time, that everything would be alright in the end.


	51. Chapter 51

You walked nervously with Loki back to Thor's room. Loki held the book tightly under his arm and the dagger tight against his body. Your heart was fluttering as you entered the room to find Thor, Eva, and a hooded figure huddled together. Thor heard you enter first and turned to you with a serious face. You did not realize he could make a face like that. It seemed very out of place on his usually jolly countenance. Eva turned around as well with an equally unsettling face. It irked you that even though no one was feeling good about this, no one dared to say something. Perhaps, you noted, they felt it was worth any discomfort they may be feeling. You wondered if it were not solely Loki's pain that Brutus felt.

Finally, the woman wearing the hood pushed it back to reveal herself. She had gorgeous amber skin and hazel eyes. Her full lips were the only ones smiling in the room. She looked fairly at ease and outstretched her hand to you.

"Sahjhan," she introduced herself to you first. You shook her hand tentatively and she suddenly looked surprised. "This one holds much power," he smiled warmly at you and then glanced at Loki. She extended her hand to him and he took it with hesitation. "And this one as well," she marveled. "They will be excellent assistants."

"Assistants?" you repeated.

Sahjhan nodded. Thor sighed behind her.

"She has informed us that only Loki is to be present during the ceremony," he said grievously.

"And the princess," Sahjhan amended. "She will be needed." She gave you a look that hinted she might know more than she let on.

You shifted uncomfortably on your feet.

"I really shouldn't--" you started, fearing that you could not bear to watch whatever would unfold with this kind of magic.

"You really should," Sahjhan gave you that look again. You felt a strange sort of feeling about her. You trusted her for some reason. You trusted her instinct.

"Alright," you stuttered out. "I will."

"Good," she said. "Now, leave us," she looked to Thor and Eva.

Eva walked up to you and laid a friendly hand on your shoulder.

"You can do this," she assured you. You couldn't help but give her a desperate hug. You were scared, you realized. Petrified.

Thor nodded towards you and stood in front of his brother.

"Do what is right," was all he said before he left, Loki standing like a statue before him.

Once they were gone, Sahjhan led you and Loki to the center of the room. She gestured for you to sit down on the rug. You did, feeling Loki's stiff presence beside you. He was scared too, you realized. You reached over for his hand and found that he was already reaching for yours. Your eyes met and a mutual feeling of apprehension passed between you.

Sahjhan had crossed the room and now returned with what looked like a small fire pit. It was about the size of a microwave, completely black, with a half sphere to hold objects, you assumed, and three legs for it to stand. Sahjhan glanced at your interlaced fingers and smiled. 

"You two are quite perfect for each other," she noted. You blushed.

"Thank you," you answered sheepishly. It felt strangely intimate, the way she said those words. It was as if she knew your whole story, all the details and crevices of your love for each other. You looked at the small fire pit. "What is that?" you asked, feeling her intense gaze and wishing to avert it.

She obliged by shifting her gaze to the pit.

"It's an altar," she informed you.

"It's used for spells and rituals," Loki added, squeezing your hand.

Sahjhan took a seat across the altar and extended her hands. You saw she wore many rings with strange jewels and metal on them. 

"The blade and book please," she requested.

Loki retrieved the blade from his belt and placed the book gently in her hands. Sahjhan smiled and nodded at him, as if this were the most natural situation in the world.

Her confidence made you even more uneasy. Shouldn't she be worried about resurrecting someone? You twisted your dress with the hand that was not entwined with Loki's. Sahjhan placed the book and the blade into the altar. She then reached for a bag behind her, pulling out jars of what looked like vibrantly colored sands. She sprinkled some of the sands onto the books and blade while muttering something under her breath. You gasped as the altar went up in flames. Your heart broke at first, thinking that the book Loki loved so dearly would be lost. However, looking at it, you saw that it was not affected at all. The fire seemed to go around the blade and book rather than consume them. Sahjhan looked amused at your bewilderment.

"Now we join hands," she said, suddenly solemn.

You felt her hand slide into yours, exquisitely smooth with a firm grasp. She took Loki's hand as well. You glanced at him to see his face much paler than usual. You gave his hand a squeeze. There really wasn't any use in turning back now, you reasoned. Sahjhan began to mumble words that you did not understand. Her irises turned an alarming shade of red and you could not tear your gaze away from them. Her words became louder and louder. The flames flickered higher and began to give off an odorless dark gray smoke. It swirled around and intensified with Sahjhan's voice.

"Jeg innkalle, Frigga," Sahjhan nearly screamed, throwing her head back and closing her eyes.   


From the gray smoke came sparks of light. They shot out of the altar and landed next to you, outside the circle your joined hands had formed. The smoke followed it, becoming more and more dense, but lighter in color. It seemed to be building something from the bottom up. You couldn't take your eyes off the building form, realizing what it would become. Slowly but surely, the figure before you transformed into that of Frigga, like an invisible sculptor was hacking away the smoke. Your breath was snatched away as the smoke became almost solid and Frigga's form became clearer. You could see through her, but she was clearly defined by the smoke that was now settling into a semi-solid state.

"My queen," Sahjhan did her best to bow while sitting.

"Mother," Loki's voice trembled beside you.

Frigga's form smiled fondly at all of you. She reached out her hand to Loki, and Loki moved to touch her.

"Don't!" Sahjhan warned. "We cannot break the circle."

Loki quickly retracted, keeping his hand in yours. He swallowed hard, his eyes glued to Frigga's form.

"I'm so sorry," he managed through his tight throat. He was trying his hardest not to break down completely. "I'm so sorry," he repeated, hanging his head. It killed you that you couldn't hold him right now.

"My son," Frigga's voice was airy. "Oh, my sweet son."

"It was my fault," Loki said, confession spilling out of him like hot blood. "It was my fault you died and I'm so sorry."

"It was not your fault, Loki," she assured him. "It was my choice to do that. I trapped you on purpose. I wanted to save you, and if giving my life was the price for that, so be it," she said simply. "And I would do it again."

Loki was shaking his head. 

"But I can make it right now," he said, seeming to perk up. You were unsure whether he had even heard what Frigga said. Perhaps he did not believe it. "We're going to bring you back," he said. You couldn't help but feel like Loki was a child, trying to assure his parents that Santa was real, despite their claims to the opposite.

"Bring me back?" she asked, uncertain. "Why?"

"Because I miss you," Loki said desperately. "Because I need you."

Frigga let out a small chuckle.

"My dearest one," she said. "You don't need me, you never have."

"That's not true," Loki countered. "You saved me."

Frigga sighed and shook her head. 

"You always had the power to save yourself, I just helped you," she said. "As did she," Frigga nodded to you.

You suddenly felt the need to say something, but had no idea what to say. How could you thank her for saving your life? How could you thank her for everything really?

Loki was breathing heavily beside you. 

"It doesn't matter, we're bringing you back," he said, turning to Sahjhan. 

Sahjhan's expression turned to one of almost awkwardness. She looked at Frigga and then back at Loki.  


"What?" Loki glared at her.

"Brutus did not tell you?" she asked. With Loki's glare only intensifying, she bit her lip. "We cannot bind a spirit to this plane without their consent," she explained.

"She gives her consent," Loki said selfishly. 

"No, I do not," Frigga said sternly. "Loki, why is it you need me so badly? Surely you are happy now?" she asked, turning to smile at you.

Loki looked very lost.

"I am," he stated. "And that is the problem."

She looked confused, but you knew what he meant.

"I'm happy... And you're not here. It doesn't make sense."

Frigga looked at him with a pained expression.

"You always thought I had potential," Loki started. "And now that I've achieved that... I wanted you to see... I wanted you to know... That saving me, loving me, wasn't a mistake."

"I knew it wasn't," Frigga responded. Loki gave a small smile.

"But I didn't," he said softly.

You could feel the tears running down your face but you stayed still, willing them away.

"We have children now," Loki added after a moment of silence.

Frigga's face lit up. 

"Really?" she asked. "Boy or girl?"

"Both," you chimed in happily.

"Twins," she smiled. "Oh I'm so happy for you both."

"And they have an important fate ahead of them," Sahjhan smiled. "Warriors of the universe."

You tilted your head, surprised that the prophecy of the Frost Giants was known to Sahjhan.

"I'm not surprised," Frigga smiled. 

"If you close your eyes and focus on that room over there, you can see them," Sahjhan instructed. 

Frigga closed her eyes and was still. She did not move for what felt like hours. When she opened them again she was nearly glowing.

"They are the most beautiful children I have ever seen," she said. "With two equal exceptions," she added with a nod to Loki.

"Don't you want to hold them?" Loki asked, still sounding unashamedly childish.

"Of course," Frigga said. "But at what cost?"

You smiled inwardly. You should have known Frigga would be the most rational one. 

"I don't care what cost," Loki said quickly.

"I know that is not true," Frigga rebutted. "You know what kind of magic this would take. There cannot be life without death. I gave my life for you for a reason, I will not take a life and negate that."

Loki sighed sadly. 

"I don't want you to go," he said brokenly. 

"Loki," she said. "Life is for the alive. Go and be with your beautiful wife and wonderful children. Teach them the things that I taught you, and everything that you've learned on your own. Everything needs an ending, and this is ours. If there were no endings, there would be no new beginnings," she motioned to you.

You thought back again to how Frigga's death had essentially brought you and Loki together. Loki looked at you then and realized the same thing.

"Live for me," she said. "Live for me and do good. Tell Thor that I love him," she added, her eyes seeming to tear up.

"I will," Loki said, choking back tears.

"My boy," she said sweetly. "Let go," she said softly.

Loki took a deep breath.

"Goodbye," he said. 

You felt his palm leave yours, his fingers unlace themselves. Frigga's image dissolved into white smoke and evaporated. The fire died down and all was quiet.

There was a tangible calmness to the air around you. Sahjhan got up without a word and walked out of the door with a nod to you. Glancing at the pit, you realized the fire had not harmed either object. You took the book out and ran your fingers along the edges of the pages. You presented it to Loki who was staring at you.

"Thank you," he said softly, breaking the silence.

"You're welcome," you said, letting him take the book.

"For everything," he said. "For helping me through all this. For knowing what was right when I was blind and yet letting me learn for myself."

You smiled, not knowing how to tell him again that he need not thank you for loving him.

"Did it help?" you asked. Loki nodded.

"I cannot imagine my life without you. My mother is right. Without endings there would be no beginnings. And that would mean no us. And although the price was very high, it was willingly paid. And for that I am forever grateful to her. I will live to honor her, to honor you, and our children."

You placed your hand to Loki's cheek.

"I am so proud of you," you said honestly.

"And that is what I live for also," he said.

He leaned in to kiss you and when your lips met, you felt finally that everything would be okay again.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried for a happy medium. Hope you liked it!


	52. Chapter 52

Seeing Sahjhan after the ceremony was almost surreal. It was strange that she was here now after everything that had happened in that room. You glanced over at Loki who was in the corner with Thor, relaying what Frigga had told him. Thor had his hand on his mouth and pained expression on his lips. Eva was in the nook by the window with the twins, smiling down at them. You turned your attention back to Sahjhan. She was eyeing you carefully, assessing something.

"What?" you asked with a sheepish smile.

Sahjhan merely smiled at you for a moment, appraising you a minute longer before responding.

"Nothing," she said gently. "I just am in awe of you."

"Of me?" you asked incredulously. "I'm not the one who summoned a spirit from the afterlife," you nearly laughed.

She gave you a patient smile.

"You will endure much more than that," she said cryptically. If it were anyone else you would assume that was a threat. As it was, it seemed like genuine concern and respect.

"What do you mean?" you said, suddenly lowering your voice.

Sahjhan glanced over to your happy twins. The way the moonlight hit them was intriguing to you. Luna seemed to glow in it, as if it warmed her. Lumen seemed to be a little restless, not a bright-eyed.

"Warriors," she said. "Guardians of the Realms. It has been foretold."

"To whom?" you asked. The only person you'd heard that from so far was Manus, and you pretty much assumed he'd been misled or lied to.

"A select few," Sahjhan said. "Which of course means just about everyone knows now," she chuckled. "People of magic do not keep secrets well, despite what you might think."

There was a lightness in her tone, but a seriousness in her eyes. She took your hand suddenly and held it tight. She leaned in to whisper.

"You will have many enemies with futures as bright as those two," she said. "There are many creatures in many realms who do not wish for these children to reach the age and become the defenders of the universe."

Your stomach dropped. Your children were in danger. They always would be.

"How can I help?" you asked. "What can I do to keep them safe?"

Sahjhan shook her head and sighed.

"They will not be safe," she said seriously. "But, they will be loved," she added, giving your hand back to you. You felt Loki's arm wrap around your waist. Sahjhan stepped back and smiled genuinely at the two of you.

"Sahjhan," Loki greeted. Apparently he had not heard what she had said to you moments before.

"Master Loki," she nodded. "I must be heading back to the village now. There are people there who need my help."

You longed to reach out and grab her, to make her stay and help you protect your own children. But you held your tongue. You and Loki would have to fight your own battles, and you didn't want to keep her from helping those with more immediate threats.

"Safe travels," Loki said.

He sounded tired, exhausted really. You realized you were too. That whole experience had been draining to say the least. It almost felt like a dream now, as if you had imagined the entire thing. Looking at Loki's eyes though, the lifted weight, the lighter stance, you realized how real it had been.

"Come on, love," Loki said, tugging lightly at your waist.

You turned to see that Thor had joined Eva by the window and was held captive by Luna's small hand around his index finger. That made you smile, relieving some of the tension that hung on your shoulders.

You walked over to them and picked up Lumen. Thor startled, as if struck from sleep suddenly. He looked at you with the same tired eyes as Loki.

"Time for bed, eh?" you asked. "For all of us, I'm sure."

Thor nodded and rose, picking up Luna and handing her over to Loki's waiting arms.

"Yes," he said heavily.

"Thank you so much for watching them," you thanked them.

"Anytime," Eva assured you.

***

When you laid the kids to bed you had no trouble getting them to sleep. You wondered if they felt the tension of the situation the same way you did. You and Loki fell into bed and slept heavily until the morning.

When you woke, you felt behind you for Loki but he was not there. You sat up, suddenly alarmed, but you saw him with the kids near your window, feeding them from a bottle you had prepared for the day. He noticed you were up and gave you a small smile.

"I have a surprise for today," he said. The joviality of his tone and demeanor were an unanticipated delight. You thought for sure he would brood over his mother for a while, that you would have to help put together the pieces she may have broken in him. Looking at him now though, you could see that something had changed. Something was actually fixed in him. You wondered how much better Brutus was feeling.

"And what's that then?" you asked, slipping out of bed and into a dressing gown.

"It wouldn't be a surprise if I told you," Loki smirked.

He expertly picked the kids up and walked over to you, giving you a good morning peck on the lips.

"Get dressed," he ordered.

You did as you were told, noticing that both Loki and the kids were already ready to go wherever it was you were going.

Once you were dressed, Loki led you outside into the the fresh, crisp air. You carried Lumen while Loki carried Luna down the winding path that led to the stables. You immediately spotted the two foals standing next to two women, both in matching blue robes. They were smiling at you already. You turned to Loki with a questioning look but he merely smirked. Surely they were too young to be riding horses already? Even if they were small.

"Good morning," Loki bowed to these women. That made your jaw drop. You had hardly seen Loki bow to anyone. Who were these people?

The women bowed back in return.

"Good morning, m'lord," they said in unison. "M'lady," they addressed you with a bow as well. You awkwardly returned it.

"What is this?" you asked Loki. He smiled and turned to you.

"These are the Karass," he said. "They're sort of... spiritual guides in a way."

"Spiritual guides?" you asked.

"He's being vague," one of the women said. She had bright blue eyes that matched her robes and seemed to hold a small galaxy inside them. "We are more like spirit mergers. We ensure that your children and their companions bond from the beginning."

"So they'll be spiritually in tune with each other?" you asked.

"Yes," she smiled at you. "It is important that you start young for it to be the most effective. Once they are bonded, they will be able to communicate almost telepathically with each other. And Loki can tell you how important that is," she said with a hint of sadness.

You turned to Loki whose lips were drawn together in a tight line.

"Don't worry, we will be very careful with the little ones," the other woman in blue chimed in. She reached out her hands. You glanced at Loki and he nodded, seemingly excited to get this going. You and Loki handed over Luna and Lumen. You trusted that this was a good thing, but it felt like Loki wasn't telling you something. You watched as the Karass led the horses into the stables, taking you children with them. You turned to Loki.

"What aren't you telling me?" you asked. He sighed heavily.

"Can't I just do something nice for my children?" he asked playfully.

"No," you said. Then you laughed. "Okay, yes," you amended. "But there is something you're not telling me, Loki. So out with it."

"Am I really that transparent to you?" he asked, taking your hand and leading you over to a bench. You sat down and saw the Karass with your children and the horses. They were holding the children face to face with their respective horses.

You sighed and turned to Loki.

"Yes," you answered with a hint of a smile. "You always have been, even in the beginning."

"Ah, the beginning," he smiled. "And look where we are now."

"We're here, waiting for you to tell me whatever it is you're hiding," you didn't miss a beat.

"She's quick," Loki remarked. Then his eyes drifted over to the stables and he threaded his fingers with yours. "I had one, once," he said.

"A horse?" you asked. Loki nodded.

"She was beautiful. Frigga introduced me to the Karass when I was very very young, and we bonded, just as they are going to. And it was amazing," he said, his voice dripping with nostalgia. "And we went everywhere together. We adventured, we got into trouble, we stole a few things here and there," he smiled fondly at his youthful antics. "And then one day we made some enemies," his voice almost broke. "And then one day... She got stabbed and I... didn't. I got away. Because she saved me."

You held Loki's hand and kissed it. You watched as he tried to manage a smile.

"My only friend, and I went and got her killed."

"She was protecting you," you calmed him. "Just as you would have done for her if the situation had been a little different."

"But I didn't," Loki said harshly. "I couldn't protect her. I couldn't protect Frigga. I couldn't protect you from kidnappers or Frost Giants... I can't protect anyone," he said solemnly.

"That's not true," you said. "We're here. I'm still here. Luna and Lumen are still here. That counts."

You thought back to what Sahjhan had warned you about. Your children were in constant danger.

"Is this about the prophecy?" you asked quietly. Loki looked at you quizzically, all tears gone from his face. He was serious now.

"The prophecy?" he asked. No, you thought, it wasn't. It was just a coincidence. Now you had brought it up and you couldn't change the subject without him noticing.

You sighed. "Sahjhan warned me... The prophecy that Manus told us, about our children being some kinds of warriors for the protection of the universe... She warned me that a lot of people believe in it and that we would make a lot of enemies."

"Oh," Loki said.

You looked out at your children who were happily playing with their foals.

"They'll never be safe," you finally admitted out loud. "Nor will we." Loki's grip on your hand tightened. You said the next words before you thought about them. "Do you think they would be safer... Somewhere else? With... someone else?" you asked. You immediately regretted it.

"No," Loki said firmly. "How could you even say that?"

"I don't know," you answered honestly. "It just came out. An idea. Maybe if they grew up... on another realm--"

"Listen," Loki said your name vehemently. "Do you want to leave them?" he asked.

"No," you answered. "Obviously not."

"Do you want them to grow up without magic? Without you? Without me?" he asked.

"No," you repeated. You waited a beat. "But I want them to be safe," you added quietly. Loki sighed.

"Me too," he said. "But they wouldn't be safe anywhere, least of all away from us." He looked at them for a long time. "I would move mountains for those kids," he said. "I would do anything. I would kill for them... I have killed for them. And I will do so again until they are safe," he said confidently. 

You followed his gaze out and watched your children play happily. You couldn't imagine your life without them. You couldn't imagine them growing up and not knowing who they were.

"They stay with us," you decided. Loki nodded. "I'm sorry," you added.

"It's okay," Loki said, turning to you. "I'm glad one of us brought it up. All options are worthy of discussion," he said.

"Feels like a business plan or something," you noted. Loki smirked.

"Hey," he said, turning your face towards him with his finger on your jaw. His eyes were suddenly full of passion. "Have I told you lately that you are the most exquisite, clever, and wonderful woman in the universe?" he asked.

You blushed and rolled your eyes.

"No, I think you've been neglecting that," you countered. He leaned in and kissed you.

"Ah, well, that is my fault," he smiled. He kissed you until your head spun and then pulled away, suddenly serious. "It will all be okay," he promised. "We will all be safe, together, and happy. I promise."

You nodded, hoping that he felt as confident as he sounded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for all the love :) keeps me going!


	53. Chapter 53

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you're enjoying the plot still! I'm gonna try to give you and Loki some alone time in the upcoming chapters, but there's a lot going on! Thanks for your support! (also sorry my updates are so sporadic!)

The day had ended with the kids' session with the horses and the Karass. Luna and Lumen seemed tired, but clung to their foals as if they were already bonded. You tried to be upbeat for them, coo for them, but you couldn't fake it. With the prophecy hanging over you like an anvil, you were just waiting for it to drop, or for someone to drop it on you. As you walked back silently, you could feel Loki's stare. He was wondering what you were thinking.

You held your silence until you put the kids down for a nap. They looked so fragile in their cribs. You had to remind yourself that it was them who had ultimately saved you from Manus after all. They weren't completely defenseless. Still, as their mother, you felt it was your duty to ensure they didn't have to fight at all. You began to wring your hands in worry, but felt a familiar touch surround you. Loki came up behind you and smoothed his hands down your agitated arms to your hands. You relaxed at once, letting him press his body to your back and nuzzle your hair.

"What is it?" he asked quietly.

You sighed. It was weighing on you.

"The prophecy," you said.

"They are staying with us," Loki interjected. You flinched. Mentioning the thought of the kids being safer somewhere else had not been easy for you and you regretted even thinking it.

"I know," you responded. "It's just... I want to know what it is, the actual words of the prophecy," you said. You turned to face those dazzling and quite intense green eyes.

"That would be a good start," Loki said. "Protection starts with knowledge, and right now we have the words of a Frost Giant to go on."

You nodded. Loki glanced over to the sleeping babies and his lips twitched up into a small smile.

"This was all meant to be," he marveled. "All of this. You, me, them... It's..." he trailed off, not finding the words he needed but you knew what he meant.

"I never thought I would have this... You, the kids... Let alone kids that turn out to be these prophetic warriors! Who would have thought," you smiled despite your anxiety.

" _I_ would have thought," Loki said evenly, kissing you softly. "You are the strongest woman I know. Of course your offspring would be warriors."

You blushed and kissed him back at that. You felt him slide his tongue into your mouth and you began to taste each other. He held you to him and you just kissed for a few minutes, reveling in the feel of each other, the completion you found with each other. You broke the kiss mutually and sighed. There might have been a time when you'd have made love right there in front of the fireplace... But now you walked over to the crib and looked down at your sleeping soldiers.

"How do we find out the whole prophecy?" you asked Loki after a long silence.

"Sahjhan must know an oracle. They are hard to come by, but I believe there is one close by. She will be able to contact the oracle and then we will ask."

You nodded, suddenly unsure if you really wanted to know the whole prophecy. What if it said something like, the universe will only be saved if the father of the children dies, or the mother, or some other unthinkable thing? You felt Loki's arm wrap around your waist.

"What did I promise?" he asked, with a twinge of anger in his voice.

"That we would all be safe," you recited, almost robotically.

He nodded and kissed the top of your head.

***

Sahjhan had not yet left the palace. You were able to catch up with her in the Grand Hall as she was speaking with Thor. 

"Sahjhan," you greeted with a nervous smile. Her knowing eyes searched yours and she gave a small smile.

"Princess," she returned. "You have come for a favor."

You blushed, were you really that obvious? Loki stood behind you and Thor watched the three of you with interest.

"Yes," you admitted. Was she an oracle, or were you just transparent?

"If you would be so kind," Loki added in his best impression of a calm person.

Sahjhan nodded. 

"What do you need?" she asked you directly.

Your heart fluttered for a moment. What if she did not help you? What if she thought you were better off not knowing? You flickered your glance to Thor who looked calm but almost a little worried. Perhaps he was afraid you would be asking to resurrect another of his family members.

"I... We need to know, well, we would like to know the whole thing," you rambled. "The whole prophecy, I mean. Verbatim." You could hear your voice shaking.

Sahjhan tilted her head to the side and assessed you. Then she turned to Loki. She gave a small nod.

"I know someone that could help with that, your highness," she said.

"I will provide whatever means to bring them here," Thor added, giving you a small, comforting smile. Sahjhan let out a small laugh.

"The oracle will not be _brough_ _t_ anywhere," she said. "You must bring yourselves to the oracle." She had almost a mischievous look on her face which you found a little unnerving. 

"How?" Loki asked.

"Heimdall," she said.

"We're going to another realm?" Loki confirmed.

"It is one I think you are quite familiar with," her eyes sparkled in your direction.

"Midgard," you said. Not a question, you knew.

"There's no place like home," Sahjhan said. You did not feel in the least bit like Dorothy in this moment. This was your home now. To think about leaving it... To go to another realm when there were villains after your kids?

"I thought he was supposed to be close," you mumbled to Loki.

"They," Sahjhan corrected. "Gender-less. And it is close, relatively speaking," she assured you. She looked at your apprehensive features for a moment. "If you want to know about the fate of your children, this oracle is the best and the closest. Do not be afraid. I am sure Thor will defend them with his life while you are away."

"I will," Thor promised.

You looked at his strong arms and determined features.

"Alright," you acquiesced. "Let's do it."


	54. Chapter 54

Heimdall was not surprised to see you, and even less surprised when you told him your route. He simply nodded and turned the key to the portal, opening up the rainbow bridge to another realm. You almost smiled at the memory of the last time you'd visited your home planet. It had been fun to play house with Loki... until the men came for you. There would always be men coming for you now, chasing you and now your children as well. Part of you felt guilty for letting them live in this life of danger, but another stronger part of you knew that it was what was meant to be.

You thought of your children in Thor's capable hands as you and Loki stepped towards the portal. Sahjhan stood behind you. You glanced back at her and saw her giving specific instructions to Heimdall. He nodded once more and she stepped forward.

"Off we go," she said semi-cheerfully.

You took a deep breath and clung to Loki. You had forgotten the feeling of being sucked through this wormhole-like tube. Your stomach dropped and you gripped Loki tighter. You managed to land on your feet with assistance and Sahjhan dropped lightly to the ground as if she were a cat. You took in your surroundings. The air was dry and hot. The ground was packed red dirt. From the buildings around you, you figured you might be somewhere in the mid-west of America but it was hard to tell. The town you had been plopped down in was not appealing. The buildings were falling apart and there were more than a few feral cats roaming the street. Some drab individuals walks the streets with bowed heads and a somber aura. You looked down at your gown and realized that in the haste for information you had neglected to change into Midgard attire. You, Loki and Sahjhan fit in about as well as cavemen in the future. You sighed and reconciled that it was not important. All that mattered was finding the oracle.

"Where is the oracle?" you asked Sahjhan.

Sahjhan simply shrugged and gave a broad gesture as if to say _somewhere in here._

You frowned at her indifference. With a quick glance at Loki, you realized he was waiting for your cue. Why was this up to you? You weren't the one who supposedly knew where the oracle was. Determined not to waste time, you simply began walking. Your shoes kicked up dust as you went into the shade of one of the buildings. You walked along the side and noticed someone was sitting against the building up ahead. You walked closer and noticed that the man was in his late 50's. He seemed to be sleeping. Next to him, a small dog of indeterminate breed was eyeing you carefully. The sign in the man's lap read:  _blind, need money for food and dog treats,_ in scrawled handwriting. 

You instantly searched yourself but realized you would not have any earth money. Loki was watching you, trying to figure out what you needed.

"What is it, love?" he asked softly.

You glanced down at your dress and saw the jewels laced into it. Something compelled you to donate something to this man.

"Your dagger, please," you requested. With a quirked eyebrow, Loki obliged. These had to be worth _something_ here. You made quick work of dislodging a few jewels. They were definitely heavy at least, and a brilliant green. You dropped them into the homeless man's open hat.

"Darling, I don't think we have time--"

Loki was cut off by the homeless man's sudden stirring and grumbling. When he opened his eyes, the entire orb was white and almost reminded you of a foggy crystal ball. His dog licked the side of his torn pants and gave a tiny bark.

"You have come for the prophecy," the oracle's voice was much deeper than you expected and echoed despite the open area.

You turned to Loki with surprise and saw that his expression mirrored yours. Sahjhan stood next to you with a proud smile on her face. You wondered how much she had already known.

"Y-yes," you stuttered, clearing your throat. "Please, the prophecy about our children."

The man nodded and shifted his position. You knelt down to be at eye level, unsure if he could see you or not through the white.

"The prophecy says that two children born of the adopted Prince of Asgard and the Midgardian will live to be the defenders of the realms," he started. "However, if they do not live until the age of 13, this will not happen. If they are not raised by the Prince and Midgardian, it will not be."

"So as long as they live until they're thirteenth birthday with us, the prophecy will come true?" Loki asked. "They will become the defenders?"

"Yes," the oracle answered. "But it will not be easy. Many will not want this prophecy to come true. They will come for the children. They will attempt to kill or kidnap them."

"They've already started," you muttered.

"Many will try, but you need only worry about one. The others will fail."

"One?" you asked, almost relieved.

"Yes," he answered. "Do not feel relieved yet, Midgardian. This one is _very dangerous._ He is sadistic and cruel. He will hunt you down. The prophecy is not set in stone. If this adversary gets to your children before their thirteenth birthday, that will be the end. And the realms will fall to ruins."

You felt your chest tighten.

"No pressure," you mumbled. Loki gave a small chuckle in spite himself.

"What can we do to protect them?" Sahjhan asked. You gave her a small, approving smile.

The oracle closed his eyes.

"This, I know not," he said. "But love and protection is vital."

With one last breath he slid back against the wall and closed his eyes. You searched his face but it seemed as though the energy had gone out of him. That was it.

You took a step back and turned to Loki.

"Thirteen," you repeated. He nodded. "That's a lot of years of protection," you said. 

"It's not so much," Loki shrugged. "Do you know how old I am?" he smiled and kissed the top of your head. "We will be fine. They will be fine."

"But the oracle said the man coming for our kids was... sadistic, dangerous," you worried.

"Shh," Loki shushed. "It's fine. Do you remember who else you would have once described in that manner?" he asked mischievously. You rolled your eyes.

"Yes," you admitted. "But that was different."

"Perhaps," Loki conceded. "But I know how he thinks. I will make sure that no harm comes to any of us," he assured you. Promises, promises.

"We should go," Sahjhan spoke suddenly. You had almost forgotten she had come with you, but you nodded and started to walk back towards the drop off spot.

You took one more look around your home planet and felt a strange sense of nostalgia. You would always be grateful for this world for it had made you who you were, but you were already prepared to leave it behind yet again and return to your real home. The distance between you and your children was far too great at the moment, and you knew that you could not get rid of the restlessness you felt until they were safe in your arms again. As for the next thirteen years, you tried not to think too much about it. Loki seemed confident, and as you looked inside yourself, you knew there was no way _anyone_ was going to come _near_ your children, or your family. No one.


	55. Chapter 55

Upon returning to the palace, you bid adieu to Sahjhan and Loki led you to your room. You could feel the weight of the short journey hanging on you. You felt sort of tense, as if the promised villains were to descend upon you in moments rather than years. You were about to suggest that you go and fetch the children from Thor and Eva when you felt Loki's hands wrap around your waist. You closed your eyes and leaned back into him. With all the pressures of late you had forgotten how much he had been holding you up.

"Shall we return to the little ones?" he whispered in your ear.

Your immediate answer should have been yes, but he felt so good pressed up behind you. You hummed and ambiguous answer as you snaked your arms back and threaded your fingers through his hair. He sighed into the embrace and held you even closer. You just stood like that for some time. He then turned you around and kissed you passionately. In the back of your mind somewhere there were thoughts that Thor and Eva were waiting for you, but you could only really focus on the sensation of Loki's lips on yours.

His hands maneuvered down your hips, running down the sides of your legs. Without him asking, you lifted one to wrap around him and gave a little jump, letting him catch you in the embrace as you wrapped your other leg around his waist. He carried you over to the bed, his mouth insistently devouring yours with a passion you had not felt in a while. He laid you down gently and broke the kiss to stare at you. His expression was half wonder, half lust.

While it should, perhaps, have felt as though you needed to rush, that you were expected elsewhere, it did not. Instead, it seemed very natural, almost necessary that Loki should be undressing you, and you him. You felt his bare skin on your skin, saw his eyes gazing deeply into yours, and knew that this connection that you shared could never be broken. Even when you were worn down to the bone by children, prophecies and royal business, nothing could change the fact that when he was inside of you, you felt complete. He filled you up, made you whole in a way that was more than your own completeness. For a few moments you could forget that your lives were in danger. You could forget that the two pure souls that you created were in constant peril. For a few moments it was just you and Loki together as it always had been and always would be.

You came together with muffled moans and incoherent words, clinging to each other as though it were the end of the world. His lips were soft on yours as he slipped out of you and brushed his fingers along your cheek. You said nothing as you lay for a moment with each other, leveling your breathing.

And now the world started to come back to you, clearing, as though you were putting on glasses. Back came the notions of responsibility and commitment. Back came the faces of your two warriors-to-be. You saw Loki returning to this state of mind as well when he rolled over to look at you. You threaded your fingers with his and he pulled your hand to his lips for a kiss.

Your Loki. Whatever happened, whatever threatened to tear you apart, you would always have this. You would always have your Loki.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's super short. I've kinda come to that point again where I'm a little bit tired of the story. I think I'm going to take a break and write a Crimson Peak (Thomas/Reader) fic soon and then I might return to this after!  
> Thank you so much for all the love you guys have given me. I really don't deserve it. If you really want a good Loki/Reader fic I highly recommend "Captivation" by kaeorin. It leaves mine in the dust, for real, I'm in love with it.  
> Hopefully I'll come back to this in the near future, and again, your support means the world to me <3


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